Tales of Something Or Other #5

Here's a story I don't think I've told here before. It occurred around 1983 when I was writing a lot of pilots for cartoon shows. I'm going to change a few names but this actually happened…

There was a Korean animation studio that did a lot of sub-contracting work for American cartoon companies. Several Hanna-Barbera shows, as well as programs for other U.S. producers, were largely animated at this studio owned by a man we'll call Mr. Woo. (If there is a studio in Korea owned by anyone named Woo, this isn't that one.)

Mr. Woo decided to try to sell some shows into the American marketplace on his own. He hired some writers. He hired some artists. Most of all, he hired a Development Exec we'll call Hermione. She was an American who worked out of his Southern California office, trying to put together something that an American TV network would purchase directly from Mr. Woo's studio.

One of their artists came up with something they thought had real potential if (big IF) they could find the right writer to develop it and write some outlines and a pilot script. Someone suggested I might be that right writer. Hermione called and asked if I could come in so they could get a look at me and I could get a look at their idea. I said sure. What time and where?

This was back when I believed in going in to meet with anyone who wanted to meet with me. It didn't always result in a job but it usually resulted in me learning something, including what kind of people not to go meet with. That was not without its value. So I went in and met Hermione but not Mr. Woo. Mr. Woo, it was explained to me, was not in the country at the time.

I gave their idea the once-over, thought it was a pretty good one and told Hermione that, yes, I could do something to push it closer to a network sale. She said they wanted to hire me and she started to mention dollar amounts. I said, "Whoa, stop, halt. I don't talk money. That's why I have an agent." I gave her contact info for that person, who was then Stu the Agent. But the numbers I'd heard before I put an end to that part of the conversation struck me as pretty low. When I got home, I called Stu and warned him we were about to get a very low lowball.

When she called him, that's what she pitched. Stu told her my established price for such work. She said that was way too much. Stu said, "Hey, the last time a studio paid him that, the material he produced got CBS to buy the series. That's what you want, isn't it? You can find writers who'll work cheaper but see how many of them did work that got CBS to buy the series."

This is why writers have agents: So they can say things like that. And I should add that the dough we were asking for was not that high. Hanna-Barbera, Marvel, Ruby-Spears, Filmation…they all paid me that without complaint. Even, I think by then, Disney.  It was just high for Mr. Woo's operation.

There was some haggling, wholly from their side. Hermione came up in their offer. We did not come down. As Stu and other agents taught me, negotiation is not always a two-way street. Imagine you go in to price a new Infiniti and they tell you the model you want is $50,000. You offer a dollar. They laugh in your face. Then you say, "Okay, let's compromise. Meet me halfway!" See how far that gets you. Finally, Hermione said, "I'm not authorized to go any higher. If you want more money, you'll have to speak with Mr. Woo."

Stu said, "Okay. Let me speak to Mr. Woo."

She said, "I'll see if I can arrange it" and she hung up. A half-hour later, she called back and said, "How about two weeks from Thursday? At 4:00 PM? That will be 9:00 AM in Korea."

Things had started to be odd. She'd been saying how eager they were to get this thing going; how they'd need the bible and script done quickly. Suddenly, she wanted my agent to wait 16 days to speak to the one person with whom he might be able to make a deal. "I'll talk to him right now," Stu said. "Or tomorrow, or whenever you like." That was a great thing about Stu. He'd chase a potential deal like Javert pursuing Jean Valjean right into the sewers.

"Let's say two weeks from Thursday at 4:00 PM," Hermione confirmed. Stu wrote it on his calendar, but he didn't understand why he had to make an appointment two weeks in advance to talk money with Mr. Woo.

Then Hermione phoned me. "Mark," she said, for indeed that was my name, "I need your assurance on two points. One is that, if we're able to make a deal with your agent, you'll be able to jump on this right away. We're way behind our schedule."

"I'll start the minute we have a deal," I said. "Matter of fact, if it's that urgent, I could start writing right now. Can't you have Mr. Woo call my agent today?"

"No, they'll speak two weeks from Thursday…which brings me to my other concern. I'd like some reassurance from you that you think we'll be able to make a deal."

"Beg pardon?"

"Mr. Woo will get very mad at me if he has a conversation with your agent and we can't go forward with you. Tell me you think we'll be able to make a deal."

I didn't know what to say to that. When you're negotiating with someone, the last thing you want to do is to assure them that you'll settle. They have no incentive to meet your price if they know you'll lower your price.

Finally, I said, "You should know the answer to that better than I could. You know what my agent was asking for…and you have a clearer notion of how high Mr. Woo will go…"

"Yes, yes, I understand that," Hermione insisted. "But do you think we'll be able to make a deal?"

"I don't know."

"This is troubling," she said. "But I guess I have no choice. I have to let the call go ahead."

Later, I recounted all that to Stu who didn't get it, either. Why the fuss over one phone call with Mr. Woo?

Two weeks from Thursday at the precise moment, Stu's phone rang. "Please hold for Mr. Woo," a voice said. Mr. Woo came on the line and, with no formalities, made a terrible offer for my services. In fact, it was less than the last offer we'd turned down from Hermione.

Stu said no. Mr. Woo said, "Look…if Mark writes the script that sells this show, I will see to it that he benefits in many ways. I will reward him but I cannot go any higher with my offer."

Stu said, "Your offer is lower than any of your competitors have paid him for the same kind of work. It's even lower than your Development Person offered him. If anything, you should be paying him more. If he's successful, he's not only going to sell this show for you, he's going to establish you as a network supplier, capable of selling more shows in the future."

Mr. Woo was starting to get a bit peeved. "I understand all of that. I just cannot pay more than what I just offered. But if Mark succeeds, he will be rewarded further. You will just have to trust me."

That baffled Stu: A man he'd never met in person…a man he'd been speaking to for under a minute…saying, "You will just have to trust me." Stu told him, "It's very simple. I gave you Mark's price. If you're not prepared to pay him that, other studios are."

Mr. Woo was not happy. "This is very disturbing," he said. "If you were not going to make a deal with us, I wish you had told us before so I would not have wasted this call."

That was the end of the conversation. Without so much as a "bye-bye," Mr. Woo clicked off. Bewildered, Stu phoned me and recounted the odd exchange. "What I don't get," he said, "is why it was so horrible that Mr. Woo phoned me from Korea. I checked with the phone company and the call only cost a few dollars." I was also sans clue.

An hour later, Hermione phoned to moan how awful it was that we hadn't been able to make a deal. "Mr. Woo is very mad at me," she said.

"Listen," I said. "You have to explain to me what's going on here. I get the feeling there's some vital piece of information that I am lacking."

"Mr. Woo gets very upset when he wastes his daily phone call," she explained.

"Daily phone call?"

"Yes…didn't you know? Mr. Woo was convicted of tax evasion. He's running the company from prison and he only gets one phone call a day."