Search and Displace

As I write this, the little counter on the Home page tells me we're closing in on 10,000 distinct hits since this silly site went up last December.  Assuming I read the stats correctly — never a safe assumption — these standings have less to do with the quality, if any, of the writing therein, than with the fact that if you enter certain terms into search engines like Google and Yahoo, you wind up at one of my columns.  Lately, you were also directed to this site if you entered these actual searches that brought web-surfers to this page…

  • HOW TO DRAW LIKE JACK KIRBY
  • SHOW US YOUR LARK
  • HARRAH'S FOOD IN THE ROOMS
  • SAM KINISON DEATH SCENE PHOTOS (Note: There are no Sam Kinison Death Scene Photos on this site.)
  • HOW DID SAMMY DAVIS JR DIE (We don't cover that, either.)
  • CLOVERINE BRAND SALVE
  • COMIC BOOK WRITERS ARE IDIOTS
  • MAKE MILLIONS DOING CARTOON VOICES
  • HOW CAN I HIT SOUPY SALES WITH A PIE
  • HOW CAN I HIT GEORGE BUSH WITH A PIE
  • HENNY YOUNGMAN NUDE

That's right.  On the 'net, you can find pictures of Madonna nude, of Geena Davis nude, of all the Victoria's Secrets models nude…and someone was actually searching for Henny Youngman nude.  I've seen some pretty sick things in Cyberspace but…

Recommended Reading

Speaking of aberrations:If you're interested in the question of what happened with the vote down in Florida, you'll probably want to read an article by John Lantigua which is running this week in The Nation.  It details an amazing list of things that state officials allegedly did to prevent minority voters from exercising their rights to cast ballots.  Here's a link to that article.

Comic Collected

DC Comics is bringing out a collected edition of the Fanboy series that I wrote last year, illustrated by Sergio Aragonés and some amazing guest artists.  The book goes on sale the week of July 4 but you can see a preview of its cover above.

Cookie Cut-Ups

Certain urban legends live forever on the Internet.  Ever since I got my first modem (300 baud), people have been sending me the story of the $250 cookie recipe.  This week, three people sent me the same story that goes roughly like this…

Some company makes great chocolate chip cookies. Someone calls the firm and asks if they sell their recipe. The person at the company says, "Yes…for a charge to your credit card of two-fifty." The caller says that's reasonable, authorizes such a charge and soon receives the recipe. Soon, the caller also receives their credit card statement and discovers that the charge is not $2.50 as they expected but $250.00. The caller is so angry that they post the recipe on the Internet for all to read and use. End of story that supposedly happened.

For a while, it was the Mrs. Fields' chain that had supposedly ripped someone off for that amount for their cookie recipe. Later on, it was Famous Amos and lately, it seems to be Neiman-Marcus. And my question is not, "Where does this story come from?"  That, we'll never know.  My question is: "Has anyone ever made these cookies?"

By the way: I once met Famous Amos — a charming gent — and he told me that the cookies that made him famous were not great because of the recipe.  The recipe, he said, was pretty much what you get off the bag of Nestlé's (or maybe it was Hershey's) toll house chocolate bits.  The secret was in using quality ingredients and skill in baking.  He said something like, "Thinking you can make great cookies because you have a secret recipe is like thinking you can paint like Rembrandt because you have a list of the colors he used."  And he didn't say this but I gather that he's not particularly proud of the product now marketed under his handle by the company to which he sold his operation…even though they may be using the same recipe.

Super Book

Yeah, that's a picture of George Reeves above, taken years before he first donned the tights of Superman.  When I watch those shows, I'm still amazed how good he is, playing an impossible role but maintaining a certain "twinkle" that kept him above the material and rock-bottom budget.  The making of that show — and many of Superman's other screen appearances — were recounted expertly in a book entitled Superman: From Serial to Cereal by Gary Grossman.  Others have followed in Gary's footsteps, often delving heavily (and not always responsibly) into the mystery of Reeves' death, but this book is still the best.  You can get a sampling — and even order your own copy — over at Gary's website, www.supermanbook.com.

Book Reports

For me, the only good part of electing a president in this country is that, months later, we get at least one good book that tells us, with some authority, what really happened in the election.  Often, this comes from Roger Simon, whose Road Show (1988) and Show Time (1996) showed incredible access and insight into the process.  Both are out-o'-print but easy to find at low prices via all the on-line search services…and you can also do what I'm doing, which is to wait for Simon's book on the Gore/Bush debacle, Divided We Stand, which is due out in mid-May.  In the meantime, I very much enjoyed Down and Dirty: The Plot to Steal the Presidency by Jake Tapper, which details the machinations of both sides to avoid an honest count and to maneuver things to favor their boy.  The Gore forces come off a little less scummy than the Bush leaguers but, if Tapper is to be believed — and he sure sounds like he should be — not one player in the drama acted in other than naked self-interest.  To hear Tapper tell it, the Bush victory had nothing to do with an honest count and everything to do with (a) cleverer legal wrangling and (b) the luck of the draw, in terms of key decisions going to judges and officials who were predisposed to favor him.  At no point does that outmoded concept — The Will of the People — appear to have had much to do with it.  Anyone surprised?

Toth on Wheels

Years ago, one of comics' best artists, Alex Toth, did a batch of short, silly strips for hot-rodding magazines. Unseen — then or since — by most fans, these treasures have now been collected in a splendid book published by Manuel Auad. It's Toth: One For The Road and it's a brilliant lesson in conveying expression and movement in extremely simple drawings. If you know Toth's work, you'll want a copy. You can order it from Bud Plant, to name but one place. If you don't know Toth's work…try to start with a copy of Auad's previous book, Toth: Black and White (which Plant unfortunately has left only in an expensive, limited edition hardcover) and then buy the car book after that.

Wonderful Con

Bruce Timm and Erik Larsen signing autographs.

A darn good time was had by everyone — well, by me at least — at the Wondercon last Fri/Sat/Sun in Oakland.  Loads of fun guests from the worlds of comics and film, the latter grouping including Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Julie Newmar and Gary Burghoff.  The former included Russ Heath, Murphy Anderson, Erik Larsen, Brent Anderson, Bruce Timm, Herb Trimpe and loads of others.  Mr. Trimpe was especially mobbed because (a) it was his first West Coast convention, (b) many sympathize with what happened to him, which was that — as he detailed in a New York Times article — Marvel dumped him after years of faithful service and (c) people love the comics he drew during said faithful service.

That article can be accessed by clicking here and it was a joy to see Herb surrounded by fans and to dine with him and his terrific wife, Linda Fite.

I have almost nothing else to report.  You get outta-touch with the world while you're at a con.  One of the great "misses" of my life as a devoted Watergate-wallower was that I was away at a con the weekend Nixon fired Archibald Cox and so I didn't get to witness the famed "Saturday Night Massacre" on teevee.  That would have been a lot more interesting than the science-fiction convention I was attending, even if it had less to do with reality.  Anyway, I'll have some more news here in a couple of days.

Just a Thought…

I'd love to hear prominent Republicans explain why Whitewater had to be investigated down to the tiniest detail while Cheney's business dealings — which involve fifty times as much cash and which may have impacted actual government policies — warrant nary a glance.  (I'm also not too wild about Joe Lieberman and his attempts to play Moral Watchdog — but at least he's not a heartbeat from the Oval Office.)

Set the TiVo!

If you live in the New York area, TV station WWOR is running a 2-hour backstage documentary about the new musical version of The Producers.  The show opens on April 19 and the TV special airs the following Sunday, April 22.  I have no idea if other cities will run it later, so I've arranged to have it recorded by someone in N.Y. who gets great TV reception and you might want to do the same.  In the meantime, the cast album of the show has been released…but I ain't gonna listen to it until after I see the thing on stage, which won't be until some time in June.  If the pundits are correct, it'll be playing the following June and the June after that and the June after that.

Wilder and Wilder

Just watched the new DVD of one of the most cynical movies ever made…The Fortune Cookie, which was written by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond, and directed by Wilder.  If one is in the right mood for it though, it's brilliantly funny and darn near impossible to turn off.  Walter Matthau was never better, and Jack Lemmon was never more Jack Lemmony.  The scenes of Matthau, playing an ambulance-chasing attorney, negotiating with a high-priced law firm are about as perfect an example of character comedy as anyone has ever put on celluloid anywhere.  The whole film is actually a superb festival of casting.  Some of the small supporting roles are especially wonderful.

Hart Attack

I've received a few e-mails asking what I think of Johnny Hart's allegedly anti-Semitic Easter installment of his newspaper strip, B.C..  My view is that, given Mr. Hart's tendency to tell interviewers that Jews are destined to all rot in Hell, I doubt it was intended as innocently as claimed in his recent "I regret being misunderstood" press release.  On the other hand, I also think that to make this a big issue is to vastly overreact.  I mean, on a list of rotten things that bigots have done to my people, a clumsy joke in a faltering newspaper strip doesn't even make the Top 10,000.

If you want to protest something, try this: Many of the newspapers covering this ginned-up controversy have picked up his syndicate's claim that Johnny Hart is — and I quote from the syndicate's website — "…the most widely read writer on earth."  I cannot fathom on what basis they make that claim but I'm guessing they're combining the total paid circulations of all the newspapers that carry B.C. and Hart's other strip, Wizard of Id and presuming that everyone who buys one of those papers reads him.  Even if all that's true, it still wouldn't make Hart the most widely-read cartoonist, let alone the most widely-read writer.  (One might also note that it's now been something like 20 years since any American publisher put out a B.C. or Wizard of Id collection in book form.  You'd think the most widely-read writer in the world could sell a few measly paperbacks…)

Funny Folks Online

Everybody's setting up a website these days, even comedians and other interesting star-type folks.  And I'm not talking about fan sites…not even "official" fan sites.  I'm talking about sites that the biggie actually arranged to have on-line, usually for commercial reasons.  In a few cases, they even generate original content for it or answer mail.  For example, you might want to go take a look at the new site, www.johnnycarson.com.  That's right: Herrrre's Johnny's website!  On it, you can order tapes of old Tonight Shows — so far, alas, the same ones that have been commercially available for some time.  There are also some video clips and fun facts over there so it's worth a visit…though I think it would be funnier if they had a guest website on Monday nights.

Here are a few more that I've come across…

  • www.georgecarlin.com — This is a wonderful site, crammed full of Carlinesque humor, much of it apparently written just for the web.  Mr. Carlin has been doing comedy for a long time but he's still very, very funny.  (He's also one of the folks behind www.laugh.com, which is selling comedy CDs and such.)
  • www.shelleyberman.com — And, speaking of doing it a long time and still being very funny: This site will tell you where Shelley Berman is performing.  If it's anywhere near you, go.  He's still brilliant.  (He did a poorly-released, hard-to-find CD about five years ago called Live at the Improv that's as funny as any comedy album ever done.  One of those voices howling with laughter in the audience is mine.)
  • www.colortini.com — This is the site of Tom Snyder, former host of The Tomorrow Show and The Late Late Show.  About once a week, he posts an essay in the style of the little "editorials" he used to do at the outset of those programs.  Always nice to hear what Ol' Tom has on his mind.
  • www.sincity.com — Here's a site that will tell you where Penn and Teller are performing, and allow you to read diary-type listings that they post often about what's been happening in their lives.  Loads o' fun.
  • www.bobhope.com — Bob Hope's site: "Hey, how about those websites where they sell books and posters, and give you some bio stuff on the star?  They're wild.  No, but I wanna tell ya…"
  • www.thehockeypuck.com — Don Rickles' site: "You big dummy.  Why don't you tie a bell to the back of your leg and play 'Wagon train, comin' through the pass?'  Here, I'll make you feel at home: 'You've got mail!'  You dumb computer geek!"
  • www.rodney.com — Rodney Dangerfield's site: "I'm all right now but last week, I tell ya, I was in rough shape.  I went to my doctor and he told me I was overweight.  I said, 'If you don't mind, I'd like to get a second opinion.'  He said, 'Okay.  Your website stinks!'"
  • www.stevemartin.net — Very funny man, very funny website.
  • www.lilytomlin.com — Very funny woman, pretty funny website.

Odds 'n' Ends

One of the great burlesque comedians (a straight man, actually) was a gent named Dexter Maitland.  He appeared in the original Minsky's revues and subsequent nostalgia-type revivals for more than 70 years — that is not a typo — but is probably best known for his role in the movie, The Night They Raided Minsky's.  (He's the handsome gent who sings, "Take Ten Terrific Girls, But Only Nine Costumes…")  I had the pleasure years ago of meeting and talking with Mr. Maitland and would love to do an article about him but I cannot find a photo of him, either from that movie or his on-stage career, anywhere.  If you know where I can procure one, short of shooting it off the TV, please drop me a note.  Thenk yew.

Frank Ferrante, who did such a good job playing Groucho on the PBS Special that aired recently, has teamed up with Groucho's son, Arthur, to open www.grouchoworld.com.  They're selling a CD of Ferrante singing Groucho's songs and a book that Arthur has compiled of photographs of his father.  I just ordered mine and will report when they arrive.

Here's your chance: Sergio Aragonés and I are appearing, together and apart, at the Wondercon, which takes place April 20-22 at the Oakland Convention Center in Oakland, California.  We're both on a "Humor in Comics" panel on Saturday afternoon at 3:00, and I'm on one that was inspired by a recent column I wrote about how sick I am of classic super-heroes being made ugly or psychotic.  That one's on Sunday afternoon at 1:00.  And if neither of those interest you, there are other panels and guests aplenty, including Murphy Anderson, Russ Heath, Jim Warren, Dave Stevens and the awesome and ageless Julie Newmar.  Here's a link to the convention website for more info…and if you're a frequenter of this site, please seek me out and say howdy.

By the way: I am currently pencilled-in to moderate ten (count 'em — 10!) panels at this year's Comic-Con International in San Diego.  If you're interested in Marvel Comics of the sixties, you'll want to attend around half of them.  (A tip: If you don't book a hotel room soon, you'll be staying in Nevada.  You can get reservations through the convention's website at www.comic-con.org.)

Ten-Hut!

As mentioned a week or so ago, I just wrote the foreword for DC's forthcoming hardcover Archives collection of Blackhawk, which will include the first 17 episodes of that strip from Military Comics, featuring the artwork of Chuck Cuidera.  In doing this, I received invaluable aid from the Unofficial Blackhawk Comics website.  This is a splendid assembly of history and data collected by a wise and knowing (i.e., he liked the issues I wrote) Blackhawk buff named Dan Thompson.  Well worth a visit.  And the book will probably be a must-buy.  That's wonderful…and rare material.  Keep your eye out for it in a few months.  I'll be mentioning it here from time to time, despite the fact that I don't make any more money off its sales.