Monthly Archives: June 2007

Johann Hari is a columnist for The Independent in London. Recently, he signed aboard a "Conservative" boat trip run by The National Review, which does not practice his kind of politics. You might enjoy his report on that trip.

I'm not getting one.

This is an overdue update on my relationship with Henrietta, which is what I've named the voice that emanates from my Magellan Roadmate 2000 Global Positioning System. Since I wrote this report, I've had her officially installed on a bracket on my dashboard, and I've experimented further. Here is what I've learned…

Basically, it's that she works great if you don't use her as a substitute for knowing roughly where you're going. You can't follow her instructions mindlessly but she sure helps me get around, even on semi-familiar turf. I'm learning the names of local streets I only vaguely knew and every so often, even when I know how to get where I'm going, I ask her to plot a route and it's sometimes a clever suggestion.

The following experience pretty well defines for me how one should treat these devices. Carolyn and I were recently in Virginia, whizzing around in a Hertz rental equipped with their Neverlost® System, which is pretty much the same as my Henrietta, voice and all. In Arlington, we were in a section where there is major road construction that includes reversing a great number of one-way streets. There, Henrietta was of no help, as she was constantly telling me to turn left onto a street where I could only go right and vissie-versie. Still, seeing where she was trying to send us helped me a lot to figure out my own path.

Then we drove from Arlington to Warrenton. I printed out Mapquest directions and had them along but allowed Henrietta to chart our course. For about the first 30 miles, the two routes were identical…but then we came to a point where Mapquest said to go straight and our destination would be 15 miles ahead, whereas Henrietta wanted us to turn off that surface street, hop on a freeway and then drive another 25 miles on it to get to Warrenton.

I decided — and I hope you'll someday forgive me for this, Henrietta — not to listen to her. I ignored the turn-off, stayed on the same street…and the minute we crossed the boulevard where she wanted me to turn off and I didn't turn off, Henrietta recalculated the route and agreed with Mapquest. Her estimate of mileage and time remaining instantly dropped from 25 miles and 30 minutes to 15 miles and 20 minutes. So even she didn't really think that freeway was a good idea.

But the point is that would have worked. It would have gotten us there. And if I'd strayed from the Mapquest route or it was unduly congested, I might have been happy to try it her way. That's one of the great things about a Global Positioning System. No matter how you wander or change course, it changes right along with you and shows you the way to go. On several occasions, she's saved me from some time-consuming misdirection…and in strange territory, she's invaluable for letting me know when the turnoff is coming up and reassuring me I'm on the street I think I'm on.

Another handy service: The night we got in to Arlington, it was late, all the restaurants seemed to be closed…and we needed a meal. We stopped in a 24-hour CVS Pharmacy for some items we needed and Carolyn asked the clerk if she knew of anyplace nearby that was open and serving edible food, which is not always what you get at that hour. The lady said, "There's a place called the something-or-other diner that I hear is good." But she couldn't tell us exactly what it was called or how to get to it…which was a job for Henrietta. Henrietta displays Points of Interest and I asked her for the names of restaurants in the vicinity. One had the word "diner" in its name and she showed us how to get there. It was open and pretty decent and we'd never have found it without her.

So I'm glad to have her. She's not perfect and I suspect that the few folks who wrote me that they junked their personal Henriettas made the mistake of expecting them to know everything. She doesn't…but for $219.99 at Costco, she knows enough. I just need to know when not to listen to her.

I am informed that Radioactive Man no longer has his own comic and that the story by Batton Lash and Ramona Fradon will actually be appearing in a Simpsons Super-Spectacular.

Also, my old chum Gary Brown reminds me that Ramona did break her vow once before. She did at least one story for Nick Mag Presents, the Nickelodeon publication, in which SpongeBob SquarePants encountered characters who were not unlike Aquaman and Aqualad.

But other than that, I got everything right.

Ramona Fradon was one of the great DC comic artists in the fifties and sixties. From around 1950 until the early sixties, she drew Aquaman in her colorful and energetic style. Then she launched a new character called Metamorpho. Then she left comics to devote full time to her family. Then for a time in the seventies, she came back to it, and later drew the Brenda Starr newspaper strip for a time.

When she gave up Brenda in '95, she told everyone that she had drawn her last script; that while she still enjoyed drawing, she would only do single illustrations and would never again draw an actual comic book story for anyone for any amount of money. We are happy to report that she has not kept her word. The issue of Bongo's Radioactive Man that comes out next week (I think) has an actual story drawn by Ramona and written by Batton Lash, in which R.M. battles a character who looks suspiciously like Metamorpho. It's a pretty clever tale and if you aren't regularly buying Radioactive Man, you might want to break yourself of that habit. Also, if you see Ramona at the Comic-Con International in San Diego (or anywhere), you might want to tell her what a joy it is to see her back drawing one panel after another. She's really good at it.

Here's a great moment from The Tonight Show from May of 1975. As the story was later told around the office, one of the Talent Coordinators, Craig Tennis, found a guy named Bob Speca who did something amazing with dominoes. Tennis fought considerable opposition from other staff members to book the guy…and Johnny Carson, who had the last word on everything then, went along with it less because he liked the idea than because (a) he trusted Tennis based on past experience and (b) he figured that if the bit was a flop, he could rescue it by ridiculing the whole booking.

Anyway, Mr. Speca went on with his dominoes and was a tremendous sensation. Special kudos should go to the nameless cameraman who managed to shoot the whole thing. There was no way to do a camera rehearsal and the guy, whoever he was, did a great job.

I also heard — and this may not be true — that right after Speca's first appearance, Carson wanted to book him again a.s.a.p. to do a more spectacular demonstration. Mr. Speca, however, asked for an even more spectacular paycheck and The Tonight Show balked…so Carson just reran the first appearance on a later show. This clip is from that later show. Three years later, Speca did appear again with a truly amazing domino demonstration…and he still does them for commercials, promotions, industrial shows, etc. There were a lot of domino-toppling imitators around for a while, and I guess there still are, but Speca is still said to be the best.

Ken Levine remembers his pal, writer/critic Joel Siegel.

My old pal Wayne DeWald calls my attention to this website. It's about those old ads in comic books that sold sets of toy soldiers. Even as a kid, I was suspicious that those ads never showed you what the toy soldiers actually looked like. If you ever saw the toy soldiers, you know why.

As we all know, I have a slow but steady parade of possums in my backyard. Every night or two, one of 'em shows up to feast on the cats' leftovers as you can see in the above photo. This article in the L.A. Times tells a lot about these critters.

Bullwinkle sells more Cheerios! That's Bill Scott as the voice of the moose and Paul Frees as the narrator.

Here's a press release worth quoting here…

NEW YORK, NY (Marketwire – June 29, 2007) — Pioneering radio innovator, satirist and performer Stan Freberg has won the New York Festivals (NYF) 2007 Radio Broadcasting Lifetime Achievement Award.

With an illustrious career, Freberg broke into show business as a teen after winning an audition at the Warner Bros. cartoon studio to do voice-over work and later went on to provide the voices of Walt Disney characters including the Beaver in "Lady and the Tramp." He came to prominence in radio broadcasting with "The Stan Freberg Show" on CBS Radio in 1957, meant as a summer stand-in for the long-running "Jack Benny Show." A visionary program, Freberg used his humor to comment on all aspects of American society of the 1950s. The series only ran for 15 episodes due to the rising prominence of television, a medium he soon entered. Credited as the first person to inject humor into TV spots, Freberg founded his own advertising firm, Freberg, Ltd.* (but not very), where he and his wife Hunter still work today. In the 1990s he produced a daily commentary show titled "Stan Freberg Here." In addition to the NYF Lifetime Achievement Award, Freberg has been honored many times throughout the years, culminating in a Grammy, numerous Emmys, and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in 1995.

Nominated for the prestigious award by New York Festivals Honorary Radio Broadcasting Board of Distinguished Judges and Advisors alongside Freberg were Ray Cordeiro, Ira Glass, Charles Grodin, Paul Holmes, Don Imus and Dick Orkin. The selection of this year's winner was decided by the broadcasting industry at large through an online voting procedure. Previous recipients include Air America's Al Franken (2006) and "The Rest of the Story's" Paul Harvey Jr. (2006).

One could quibble a bit with the facts of that bio but so what? Nice to see that while Mr. Sahl was being honored on this coast, the other guy who pioneered funny records was getting some love back in New York. Wonder if Imus voted for him. Stan used to be kind of nappy-headed.

Here's a photo from the event I've been writing about here. In the front row, you have — reading left to right — Shelley Berman, Jonathan Winters, George Carlin, Mort Sahl and Harry Shearer. Behind them, it's Richard Lewis, Jay Leno, Norm Crosby, Hugh Hefner, Ross Shafer, Drew Carey and Albert Brooks. And then way in the back, you have your Kevin Nealon.

Hefner wasn't a performer. He was just there as a friend and patron. Ross Shafer was one of the organizers of the gala. Somehow, Paula Poundstone, Bill Maher and Jack Riley didn't get into this shot…but isn't it a great picture, anyway?

In the pre- and post-show mingling last night, I heard a number of people talking about the very long, four-part profile of Dick Cheney done by The Washington Post. As I've mentioned, I don't think much of the Post these days but every now and then, they come up with a good article. I'm still wading through this series but it seems to be one of their better efforts.

Okay, here's my report on the Mort Sahl Tribute. A group called The Heartland Comedy Foundation is raising bucks for older comedians who are not well off. I don't know about the financial werewithal of Mr. Sahl but last night, they had a benefit in honor of his 80th birthday and get a load of who performed…

• Jonathan Winters
• Shelley Berman
• Albert Brooks
• Drew Carey
• George Carlin
• Norm Crosby
• Jay Leno
• Richard Lewis
• Bill Maher
• Kevin Nealon
• Paula Poundstone
• Mort Sahl

There were also taped appearances by Woody Allen and Don Rickles, and the whole event was well-hosted by Jack Riley with a brief assist from Harry Shearer. (Larry King had been announced to host but was unable to be there. I don't know if it was a joke or not but folks inside the theater and on stage were saying his no-show was because of something having to do with Paris Hilton's appearance on his show Wednesday night.)

How was the Sahl Tribute? About as wonderful as you'd expect it to be, given the line-up. Everyone was good…everyone. Some of the folks who got on late had a rougher time of it since the audience was getting a bit worn out by then…but everyone did well. (Winters went first, playing a character interviewed by Jack Riley. Mr. Sahl, fittingly, went on last. Everyone else appeared in alphabetical order.)

Best performance? I'd pick Albert Brooks with a speech that I thought was easily the most brilliant ten-or-so minutes of the evening. He came out, seemingly pissed-off because he'd prepared an eloquent eulogy. You see, he'd been told (he said) that Mort was dead. Then he arrived at the show, furious to discover that Mort wasn't dead. In fact, as he said this, Mort was sitting out in the second row, right behind Hefner and the obligatory entourage of stunning ladies. Mr. Brooks went on to explain that unlike the other folks appearing on stage that evening, he didn't have a current stand-up act so the eulogy was all he had…and he proceeded to read it anyway, even taking us through a Mourner's Kaddish. I thought some people in the audience were going to die — literally — laughing.

Classiest performance? Jay Leno. He isn't always at the top of his game on The Tonight Show…and I guess you can't be when you're delivering a fresh, untested monologue every night. But dipping into his club act, he did ten or fifteen minutes of killer stand-up and then — here comes the classy part — he did a wonderful, heartfelt little tribute to Sahl and left the stage in a manner that directed his exit applause to the honoree and not to himself. Very nice indeed.

Most sheer laughs, attained by any possible means? Richard Lewis talking about his penis and also Shaquille O'Neal's. Even people who thought it was tasteless were laughing and laughing hard.

Bravest performance? Paula Poundstone, eschewing prepared material in favor of chatting with a stranger in the front row. I've seen her do this before and she has an unerring eye for picking out someone who'll be obtuse and difficult to converse with…which, of course, makes it very funny. Still, given the line-up she was following, it was gutsy to try it in that room. It turned out very funny and even had a warm ending when she finally extracted the information from the guy that he'd founded the first Mort Sahl fan club back in the fifties.

Biggest ovation, not counting Mort Sahl? George Carlin, in part because he wasn't officially billed and his appearance took a lot of the audience by surprise. He did his "Modern Man" riff, spoke lovingly of Mort Sahl's place in comedy and in assisting his own career, then showed a video clip from a 1962 TV appearance in which he (Carlin) did a fine impression of Mort. The runner-up in the "biggest ovation" category was probably Jonathan Winters.

And lastly, there was Mort himself. He spoke of how moved and touched he was by the whole event but couldn't help veering into a few bits of topical humor. The one I remember best — and this is from memory, not verbatim — went as follows…

One of the big perks of doing what I do is that I get to meet all these guys. I met President [George W.] Bush and we got to talking about drinking. He said, "I don't drink anymore. You see, I was born again!" And I couldn't help think…if you were going to be born again, wouldn't you want to be born as something better than George Bush?"

Sahl stressed the point that he isn't dead or retired; that he's still going to be on stages as long as the public will have him. (Here's an article from the other day on what he's up to lately.) And he brought out his wife, who looks to be about one-fourth his age, and the audience sang "Happy Birthday" to him. It was an event that won't be repeated and for those who were there, won't be forgotten.

I thought I'd linked to this before but if I did, I can't find it now. This is a Cheerios commercial produced by the Jay Ward people. June Foray is the voice of Rocky the Flying Squirrel…and by the way, I'm helping June finish up her autobiography and will soon be announcing some sort of publication date, I hope. The other two voices you'll hear in this one — Bullwinkle and a surprise guest — were both done by Bill Scott. Here ya go…