Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The Joys of Cyberbegging

• Posted at 9:20 PM · LINK

Can't Stop the (Lorenzo) Music

Over on his weblog, a gent named Will Campbell posts an anecdote about the late Lorenzo Music working with him at a Suicide Prevention Center. His account is true. Lorenzo did work occasionally at such places and the way he told it to me, people occasionally did recognize his voice. He once described a call that went something like this...

"I can't go on any longer. My wife left me for my sister and is suing me for divorce. I lost my job and I'm hopelessly in debt. My parents won't speak to me. My kid disowned me and changed his name. My doctor says I only have...say, do you know you sound like that cat on TV?"

I found this story thanks to a link that Amid Amidi posted over on Cartoon Brew. I am so grateful to him that I will even forgive his sacrilegious remarks the other day about Top Cat.

• Posted at 8:52 PM · LINK

Sitcom Reality

My TiVo has been recording I Love Lucy lately, whether I want it to or not. This morn, I watched three and was struck with how incredibly horrible Lucy and Ricky Ricardo were to each other in them. Yes, I know these are not supposed to be realistic portrayals of human behavior and yes, I know there are plenty of episodes which show their true affection for each other, usually with regard to forgiving mistakes. But even in the broadest fiction, two people who ostensibly love each other shouldn't ever be lying and plotting against each other and causing deliberate mental anguish. It's amazing how many times I've seen an episode of one these shows and never thought about what was really happening in the scenario.

In the first episode I watched, Lucy — based on very little evidence, including an eavesdropped partial conversation — concludes that Ricky is planning to murder her. She is so nervous that to calm her down, Ricky decides to surreptitiously slip a harmless sleeping potion in her drink...and when she sees him do this, she concludes that it's poison. Question: If you really love someone, wouldn't it take a lot to cause you to believe they were planning to kill you? Would you stay with someone about whom you could ever believe that? Or who would believe that about you? And isn't it kind of nasty to ever slip something into someone else's beverage without their knowledge?

In the second, Lucy wants to be in Ricky's new show and as usual, Ricky doesn't want her in it. She begins feigning insanity to convince Ricky that all that rejection has caused her to snap. When he finds out what she's up to, Ricky decides to teach her a lesson she'll never forget. He brings in an actor friend to play a doctor who convinces Lucy that she has an incurable disease. She suffers greatly until he reveals the hoax. Question: If you love someone, would you try to convince them you were nuts in order to get them to do something against their better judgment? Would you try to convince them they were dying and put them through that agony?

In the one on right now, Lucy and Ricky have a fight. To get her back with Ricky, Ethel decides to wrap Lucy in bandages and tell Ricky that his wife got hit by a bus. At the same time, Ricky and Fred arrange smoke bombs so they can convince Lucy the apartment is on fire and Ricky can rescue her. Question: Do people who love each other really try things like that? (While we're critiquing human behavior here: In the episode, Fred Mertz — who is the landlord, as well as Ricky's co-conspirator, is running through the halls, yelling not only that the building is on fire but that the whole thing may collapse at any moment. Is this a good thing for the landlord to be doing?)

That's three episodes in a row where hoaxes or lack of trust result not just in misperceptions but life-threatening ones. I dunno about you but if I care for someone, I'd kind of like them to not believe that they're about to die.

I guess it's a tribute to the writers and performers of I Love Lucy that we accept their antics as playful, even though a lot of episodes were about this kind of thing. Lucy and Ricky just come off as so adorable and affectionate that we don't let a little thing like murder plots impact our view of them as America's Happy Couple. Hell, watching reruns, we don't even let a little thing like their real-life divorce cloud the image of Lucy and her Cuban hubby. In the same way, no one ever thinks of Ralph Kramden as a guy who was always threatening to belt his wife or Ernie Bilko as a guy who was committing fraud. Ah, such innocent times...

• Posted at 4:05 PM · LINK

Bill's Book

I haven't read or even sent away for Bill Clinton's autobiography yet but more than 20 of you have ordered it from Amazon via this site. That's the most ever purchased that way, apart from books by me, so I thought I ought to put up an Amazon link and make it easy for anyone else who wants a copy. Personally, I'm in no rush. I can't recall ever enjoying the memoirs of any political figure unless that person was so far retired from activity that they had absolutely nothing to lose...and sometimes, even that doesn't lead to any real sense of candor. Though I usually enjoy hearing Clinton speak, I have no reason to expect his book to depart from the norm for political autobiography.

One thing I find amusing is Amazon's "Reader Reviews" section which is already flooded with bogus write-ups of Clinton's book. Folks who loathe him are writing that it is boring and filled with lies. Folks who love him are writing that it's honest and fascinating. And it's pretty obvious that few (if any) of these posters have even touched a copy of the thing. I guess it makes them feel like they're doing something for their cause. Most of the reviews I've seen so far by professionals who were paid to review the book haven't struck me as coming from a different set of motives, though at least some of them seem to have read some of it.

• Posted at 11:43 AM · LINK

Walk of Fame

The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has announced the names of the folks who'll be receiving stars in the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2005...

MOTION PICTURES: Tim Allen, Antonio Banderas, Donald Duck, Kevin Kline, Julianne Moore, Patricia Neal, Dennis Quaid and Ben Stiller.

TELEVISION: Tom Brokaw, James Doohan, Roger Ebert, Susan Lucci, Al Michaels, David Hyde Pierce, Wayne Rogers and Soupy Sales.

RECORDING: Emilio Estefan, Al Green, Herb Jeffries, Billy Joel, The Righteous Brothers, Carly Simon and Rod Stewart.

LIVE THEATRE/LIVE PERFORMANCE: Theodore Bikel, Linda Hopkins and Fred Travalena.

RADIO: Jim Ladd and Bob Miller.

POSTHUMOUS: Stella Adler, Redd Foxx, Freddie Prinze and David O. Selznick

Actually, the press release says they're giving that last one to "David O. Selznik." One hopes they'll correct the spelling before they engrave the star.

They haven't announced dates for the unveiling ceremonies yet but I figure on attending the one for Soupy. And maybe Donald Duck, too. We used to work together.

• Posted at 12:41 AM · LINK