Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Latest...

HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson now says that the story he told at that speech — the one about how he killed someone's contract because the guy said he didn't like George W. Bush — falls under the category of "anecdotal remarks." I think he thinks that's another way of saying the whole thing was a fib — in which case someone needs to buy this man a dictionary. The one I keep near my computer gives the following as synonyms for "anecdotal"...

designating, identifying, definitive, graphic, describing, narrative, expository, interpretive, anecdotal, characterizing, illuminating, illuminative, expressive, clear, true to life, illustrative, lifelike, vivid, portraitive, picturesque, circumstantial, eloquent, detailed, pictorial, photographic, classificatory, representative, indicative, revealing

Nothing in there about "not true." An anecdotal account can be casual or unverified but it can also be absolutely accurate.

It also seems to me this statement completely misses one of the main charges. Okay, maybe the story was apocryphal. But Jackson still told it to an auditorium full of folks who wanted government contracts from his department. The tale was a clear warning that if you wanted the deals, you'd better not get caught speaking against George W. Bush. That's disgraceful.

• Posted at 10:45 PM · LINK

Rapid Turnover

I just ran this test on the speed of my Internet cable connection. It showed a rate of 4.2 megabits per second.

I thought, "That's amazing" and I ran it again. This time, I got 3.2 megabits a second."

So I ran it one more time. A pitiful 2.8 megabits a second.

This is like Deal or No Deal. I should've quit while I was ahead.

• Posted at 9:34 PM · LINK

Weather Report

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart discusses a minor dust-up with the folks who run a TV station in Terre Haute. This article in the Terre Haute Tribune-Star covers the argument which stems from Stewart mocking some TV spots a station did promoting its weather forecasters. I don't think it's humanly possible to win an argument with a comedian who's ridiculing your commercials. Maybe if he was making fun of your wife's appearance, you could convince people he was rude and unfunny. But if there was ever a category that's wide open for ridicule in this world, it's commercials.

• Posted at 9:27 PM · LINK

Well, Blow Me Down!

Our friends at Fantagraphics are already putting out a fine reprint set of Mr. Schulz's Peanuts and it's about to be joined by one of Elzie Segar's Thimble Theatre, the strip more commonly known as Popeye. These have been reprinted before but the new series — six hardcovers, Sundays in color, one volume every six months commencing this September — promises to be must-purchase even for those of us who bought the earlier collections.

And if you didn't...well, you may be in for a delightful surprise, especially if you think of Popeye only from his animated appearances. In Segar's newspaper strips, the sailor did a lot more than take six minutes to haul out his spinach and then thrash Bluto. There was a wonderful mix of silliness and solid adventure there, along with some truly memorable (and occasionally, downright odd) characters.

Some history. Elzie Crisler Segar began drawing Thimble Theatre in 1919, featuring a large cast of players but especially a guy named Castor Oyl and his pal, Ham Gravy. They encountered many weird characters and in 1929, one of 'em — a squinty sailor — just plain stayed around a while. In fact, he eventually kicked Castor Oyl out of his own strip and began romancing the guy's sister, Olive.

Segar drew the strip until his death in 1938 producing superb work that has been too often overlooked. When scholars start rattling off the names of the all-time great newspaper comics, they tend to skip over the ones that were continued, even quite ably, by others...so Thimble Theatre gets forgotten. Glad that Fantagraphics has remembered and will be favoring us with some nice "keeper" volumes. You can advanced order the first one here if you're eager.

• Posted at 7:53 PM · LINK

Anecdotal Evidence

The other day, it was reported that the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Alphonso Jackson, had told an audience of minority real estate entrepreneurs that he had cancelled a contract to one firm because its owner said he didn't like George W. Bush. Many folks are objecting to this and rightfully so.

So what's the latest? Well, his official spokesperson confirmed that Jackson had indeed yanked someone's contract because they said they didn't like George W. Bush. Then his official spokesperson said he hadn't and that the whole story was just "anecdotal" and made up. Now, his official spokesperson has gone on a "scheduled leave."

So either Jackson told an audience a bogus story to try and scare them into not criticizing Bush...or he told them a true story for that purpose. You get the feeling Mr. Jackson may wind up going on an unscheduled leave?

• Posted at 6:16 PM · LINK

Grand (and Not-So-Grand) Finales

My buddy Lee Goldberg links to the piece on memorable final episodes of TV shows and makes the point that a lot of these are unnecessary stunts. Not every show's continuity cries out for some sort of lasting resolution. Maybe the network's need for ratings in a sweeps period do but the nature of the series often does not. Sometimes, I suspect, viewers would be happier to think that their favorite characters were still doing what they did when we enjoyed watching them.

Meanwhile, Johnny Achziger writes...

I watched The Fugitive when it originally ran, and anxiously awaited the finale. But when I watched it, it really outraged me and I thought the whole thing was stupid (and I was maybe 12 years old). I haven't seen it since, but this is what I remember. Dr. Kimble returned to his home town (I believe) and somehow confronted his brother-in-law (I think the one armed man was there at the time), and it turned out that said brother-in-law was present and watching while Mrs. Kimble (his sister) was being murdered, but did nothing because he was too afraid. So he saw the one-armed man, but not only did he not report the facts (out of fear his cowardice would become known), but he let Dr. Kimble take the rap.

I've never seen it since, and like I said, I was about 12 then, and it came across to me as a really lame ending. Maybe it was more dramatic to adults, but it me it was really disappointing.

The way I recall it, there was a neighbor (not the brother-in-law) who witnessed the murder but who kept silent because he was being blackmailed by the one-armed man, Fred Johnson. When the neighbor and Johnson meet at an amusement park, Richard Kimble confronts him, chases him up a water tower and then, just when it looks like Johnson will kill Kimble, Police Lieutenant Gerard shoots and kills Johnson. By this point, because of what he's overheard, Gerard fully believes Kimble is innocent...and since the neighbor is no longer being blackmailed, he can testify to that effect. So Dr. Richard Kimble is a free man.

I thought that was a satisfying ending. In fact, I suspect regular viewers would have felt cheated if it had turned out almost any other way. Kimble had to be proven right about the one-armed man; that it was that guy who'd killed Mrs. Kimble. There was speculation before the episode aired that it might turn out that the one-armed man was actually a witness who could finger the guy (not Kimble) who'd killed the wife. Naw. That would mean our hero was not completely right all those seasons he went around saying a one-armed man had offed his wife. Audiences also craved to see the bad guy pay for his crime...and not after a long trial where Johnson could argue his innocence. We don't like lingering questions or non-immediate gratification in our TV justice. That's why when Perry Mason would figure out who the real killer was, the real killer always confessed, thereby dispensing with any doubt.

So that's why the one-armed man had to confess, then die, plus there had to be someone around who could swear that Kimble was innocent...say, a heretofore-undisclosed eyewitness to the crime. Plus, we wouldn't necessarily like Kimble if he'd been the one to kill the one-armed gent...and he'd have been foolish to do so since it would just have clouded his legal situation at a time when we were aching to see him become a free man. By having Gerard kill him, that kept Kimble's hands clean and it also redeemed Gerard. He'd spent years pursuing an innocent man and now he'd saved that innocent man's life. All very neat and tidy.

But here's what I wonder about. The finale of The Fugitive got one of the highest ratings ever recorded for a TV show. Still, when the shows went into syndicated reruns soon after, they didn't do so well. Was it because the show had had that real, finite ending? Was the problem that America now considered the matter of Dr. Richard Kimble a closed book and there was no point in reopening it? We'll never know but it wouldn't surprise me. It also wouldn't surprise me if on some shows since, when it's proposed they do a "last episode," someone at the studio says to someone else, "Hold on. Don't we want to make money in syndication with these shows? Remember what happened with The Fugitive."

• Posted at 3:26 PM · LINK

Hi-Yo!

Here's yet another reason to be sorry Johnny Carson isn't still with us and hosting his TV show. It's the field day he'd have with the fact that his sidekick, Ed McMahon, now has his own brand of vodka.

• Posted at 8:43 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

This one only runs thirty seconds but it's a good thirty seconds. It's a commercial for Cocoa Puffs cereal starring everyone's favorites, Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose. I always thought it was odd to see those characters with decent animation. Their episodes were done on the cheap with most of the work done in Mexico but every so often, something would be animated in L.A. with a real budget. This ad was one such effort.

• Posted at 12:16 AM · LINK