Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Bye, Fred!

This is an actual obituary that ran the other day in the Richmond Times-Dispatch. They say Mr. Clark wrote this himself and if so, I'm guessing he left the date and cause of death blank for someone else to fill in...

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower — on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French - the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

• Posted at 10:27 PM · LINK

Recommended Reading

Matthew Yglesias writes about how Republicans seem obsessed with the concept of the Missile Defense System and won't be dissuaded by little details like...oh, like the fact that there's no reason to believe it can ever work.

In the meantime, Art Buchwald — who went into a hospice to die — has left it just as alive as when he went in.

• Posted at 7:44 PM · LINK

Jack 'n' Johnny

In the pictures above, the man on the left is Jack Kirby, hailed by many as the most important creative talent ever in the comic book business. The guy on the right is Johnny Carson, who has often been called the biggest star ever in television. What do these men have to do with each other? In 1982, Mr. Carson got confused about something and inadvertently made some slanderous remarks about Mr. Kirby on The Tonight Show. Mr. Kirby was very upset about this and filed a lawsuit against Mr. Carson. It was all settled with an on-air apology followed by an exchange of money.

On Friday, July 21 at the Comic-Con International in San Diego, I will (as usual) be hosting the annual Jack Kirby Tribute Panel. It starts at 2 PM in Room 8 and we'll have members of the Kirby family present, along with four top comic book artists — Neal Adams, George Perez, John Romita and Mike Royer — discussing Jack's work. That alone oughta pack the place. But we'll also take some time to flash back to the Great Kirby/Carson War. I'll be showing videos of both the original Carson statements and of his apology, and we'll be hearing from Paul Levine, the lawyer who represented Jack in that matter. I showed this tape a few years ago at a panel but (a) we didn't have time to tell the entire story and (b) a lot of folks have asked to see it again. So there's yet another reason to attend this fine panel...as if the chance to learn more about Kirby was not reason enough.

• Posted at 9:07 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

Some time ago, I linked to a clip from a 1990 TV special starring Penn and Teller entitled Don't Try This At Home. Today, we have the finale from that special in which Penn drives a truck over Teller...a nice little stunt aided by my pal, Victoria Jackson. It runs about eight minutes. Go for it.

• Posted at 12:41 AM · LINK

Vegas Rumor

Here's an interesting rumor that's making the rounds of Las Vegas news sites...

As you may know, the Harrah's company owns a lot of hotels in Vegas. In addition to Harrah's, they own the Imperial Palace, the Flamingo, Bally's, Paris, Caesars Palace and the Rio. The Rio is off the Strip but the other hotels are all on Las Vegas Boulevard in a group. Caesars is across the street but Harrah's, the Imperial Palace, the Flamingo (and its companion casino, O'Shea's), Bally's and Paris are all in a line, one right next to the other...with one gap. Right in the middle there is the Barbary Coast, which is owned by Boyd Gaming. The Barbary Coast, located at the choice corner of Las Vegas Blvd. and Flamingo, is the one thing that stops Harrah's from owning this huge, continuous mass of casino land. (They also own several properties right around the corner on Flamingo.)

So the rumor is that a deal is being finalized for a swap: Harrah's would get the Barbary Coast and Boyd would get the Rio plus either a ton of cash or another hotel to be named later. This would be good for Harrah's because they could link all their properties into some kind of mega-megaresort. But it might be even better for Boyd. The Rio is a much bigger hotel than the Barbary Coast...to say nothing of the money or other hotel they'd score in the deal. They could also link the Rio with the hotel next door — the Gold Coast — which they already own. (This map will give you an idea of how the properties are currently distributed.)

As I said, this is a rumor...but it sounds credible. And it could change the whole face of Las Vegas.

• Posted at 12:40 AM · LINK