Friday, July 28, 2006

Area Code Follies

Beginning this week, if you live in the 310 area code and you dial another number in the 310 area code, you have to dial the area code along with the number. This applies if, for example, you have a TiVo that makes its daily phone call that way...or if you have a modem that calls a dial-up connection in the same area. Pay attention to this stuff.

• Posted at 10:28 PM · LINK

Mixed Memories

I had a great time at the Comic-Con International in San Diego but there were, of course, a few unpleasant moments. There was an encounter with an inebriated person that I wish had not occurred. I also had a painful chat with an Industry Legend who is, to put it nicely, not as sharp as he once was, either mentally or in his auditory capabilities. He engaged me in one of those awkward conversations we sometimes have with the elderly where we have to pretend they're making more sense than they are. I was hurrying off to a panel and it was quite uncomfy to terminate the discussion in a polite manner, especially when I had to say everything about ten times in order for him to hear what I was saying.

One of my jobs as a panel moderator — perhaps the most important — is to get the panel started. This is sometimes difficult because when a panel ends, fans rush the dais to get autographs from the panelists. We usually allow as much of this as time permits but at some point, I have to declare an end to it and shoo the fans away so the panelists can depart and make way for the next panel. Then the members of the next panel enter and begin to take their seats, whereupon autograph-seekers pounce on them to get signatures in the interval before that event begins. So again, I have to play Bad Guy and call a halt to the signing so I can start the program.

Five or six times during the con, this meant getting strict with folks who seemed to feel that the phrase, "No more autographs now" did not apply to them. I stopped one lady from getting a Spider-Man comic signed by John Romita and she launched into a sob story; something about how she had to leave but her little brother who was very ill had his heart set on a Romita autograph and it might even instill in him the will to live. I was going to tell her I promised my grandmother on her death bed that I would never make 400 people wait around longer than necessary for a Johnny Romita panel to start...but before I could, the woman said something nasty to me and stormed out.

John thanked me for being the villain and said, "I never know how to say no to these people. I'm grateful they care enough to ask for my autograph but sometimes, they make things so inconvenient for everyone else. And as he was saying this, someone ran up with a stack of Daredevil comics they wanted signed and said, "While you're just sitting there talking..."

• Posted at 10:02 PM · LINK

Half-Baked Alaska

Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska has long struck me as one of those folks who's just way too dense to be in the Senate. There are smart people in that body whose politics I think are just plain wrong but there are also Senators (and Congressfolks and governors and presidents...) who seem to lack a certain minimum number of I.Q. points. They leave you wondering how they got elected and about the ineptness of the person(s) who couldn't beat them.

Stevens is in charge of regulation of this thing you're utilizing right this moment...this "Internet." And on several occasions, he has displayed a shocking ignorance about this entity he helps regulate. Jon Stewart has been especially happy to exploit this ignorance for material. Here's a YouTube clip of Stewart doing just that.

So, as Mr. Carson might have said, "How...dumb...is Ted Stevens?" This dumb. He's "considering" going on (more likely, angling to appear on) Stewart's show and defend his comments.

Quick rule of thumb: It's darn near impossible to beat a clever comedian in his own ball park. It's his audience, his equipment, his director, his schedule, his everything. On neutral ground, Ted Stevens would have a hard time not being sliced 'n' diced by a quick-witted guy who knows how to work a crowd the way Jon Stewart knows how to work a crowd. When you also give the comedian Home Court Advantage, it's like challenging The Flash to a potato race. You not only cannot win, you cannot not suffer a humiliating defeat. This also applies to cases where someone thinks they're going to go on with Colbert or Letterman and show that they're just as fast and funny. Can't be done.

Based on that news article, The Daily Show will doubtlessly extend an invite to Senator Stevens. Will he accept it? If he does, I think that's grounds for impeachment or recall — whatever it is they do to Senators — right there. On the grounds of Extreme Stupidity or at least some kind of death wish.

• Posted at 9:19 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

For years, one of the best-kept secrets in Las Vegas was a guy named Bob Anderson — a singing impressionist who played all the hotels with uncanny carbons of Dean, Frank, Sammy and (the part I liked best) several performers who no one else does. I mean, how often do you hear someone mimic Mel Tormé? Or The Righteous Brothers? Or Otis Redding? He had an amazing act full of such folks...and he still has that act, though he now does it more commonly in Branson, Missouri. Since I never get to Branson, it's my loss.

Our link today is to a little promotional film for Mr. Anderson. It runs a bit over eight minutes and it doesn't get into the impressions until the mid-point...and with all due respect to whoever assembled this, I think he's better than some of the examples here. But still, as you'll see, he's pretty darn good. Maybe one of these days, someone in Vegas will have the brains to lay a big, long-term contract on the guy and I can go see him again when I travel there. In the meantime, this will have to suffice...