Monday, June 18, 2007

Today's Bitch 'n' Moan™

Today's Bitch 'n' Moan™ is software you need that — automatically and without so much as an "If you don't mind..." — installs software you don't want. We all need Adobe Reader on our little computers to read all those PDF files that people send us or which we encounter on Ye Olde Internet. We want to upgrade to the latest Adobe Reader, which is version 8, because as we all know in this world, if you don't have the current version of something, you might as well be Fred Friggin' Flintstone, using a pointy-billed bird to play your phonograph records.

So we need Adobe Reader 8. What we don't need — or at least what I don't need — is something called Adobe Photoshop Album, which is now the eighty-third piece of software this year that has forced its way onto my harddisk and demanded that I let it index all the photos on my computer and build me a library. Everyone wants to build me a library. I'm not sure anyone will ever build George W. Bush a library. That would be contingent on the guy ever reading a book. But half the software made on this planet wants to build me a library.

Thank you, Adobe Photoshop Album, but I don't need you to build me a library of my photos. I have a library of my photos. I didn't install you on my computer, either. You came magically when I upgraded to Adobe Reader 8 and then you were rude enough to install a couple of entries in my start-up group so that whenever I turn on my computer, you're loaded and there in my tray where I don't want you. This is all awfully presumptious of you, which is why I just took you out and uninstalled you and next time, maybe you'll wait for a damn invitation before you move in and set yourself up on my Seagate.

This concludes today's edition of Bitch 'n' Moan™. Bitch 'n' Moan™ is brought to you by the makers of Midol for Men — the only medicine that can alleviate cramping, bloating and that general feeling of crabiness that males get when they have their periods.

• Posted at 11:59 AM · LINK

Ray Erlenborn, R.I.P.

The great master of sound effects, Ray Erlenborn, has passed away at the age of 92. He was one of those rare individuals that took a craft and made it into an art. You can read all about him in this obit.

• Posted at 10:27 AM · LINK

Remembering Roger

I'm sorry to say that I wasn't able to get away last Friday to the memorial service for the great artist/cartoonist, Roger Armstrong. I'm excusing myself by thinking that if Roger had the kind of deadlines I've been juggling, he wouldn't have made it to a memorial service for me...but that's just a rationale to lessen my guilt. I should have been there.

Let me direct you to three online remembrances of this wonderful man. They're from Mike Barrier, Tom Richmond and Charles Filius. And let me direct you to Roger's website where you can see some of his magnificent paintings. He was a great talent and a great guy.

• Posted at 1:35 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

We have a great one for you today, folks...a half hour from a 1963 episode of The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. This is the earliest large chunk of the show I've ever seen. It's so old that Henny Youngman is the big guest...and his material is relatively fresh.

• Posted at 12:38 AM · LINK

A Gay Old Time

Do you have Real Player installed on your computer so you can play Real Player audio files? If not, ignore the rest of this message.

Still with me? Fine. You know what I'd like to hear, people? I'd like to hear a modern barbershop quartet singing the theme song to The Flintstones. But where would I find such a thing?

Ah, maybe here.

The group is called The Rounders. If you'd like to order a CD of their singing that includes this track, you can find it somewhere on this page.

• Posted at 12:37 AM · LINK