I don't cook much. I like the sense of accomplishment that comes with preparing something...but then I also like the sense of accomplishment that comes with coming upstairs here and writing a script, and the script usually pays better and endures longer. So the things I cook are the ones that take almost no time.
The other day, I came across one of the simplest things in the world to cook. While shopping Costco recently, I purchased a three-pound Bill Bailey's Irish Brand Corned Beef. At 2:45 in the morning a few days ago, I took the thing out of its wrapper, stuck it in my Rival Crockpot Cooker (also purchased at Costco), added water to cover the beef, set the timer to cook for eight hours on "low," then went to bed. The next morning, I had a hot, fresh, corned beef that was as good as any I've had in any delicatessen...and a lot cheaper. I've been carving hunks off it since then and given how little I eat these days, it could last me well into next week.
I suppose one could add all sorts of spices and veggies for flavor to the crockpot...but what came out was so good, I'm disinclined to fiddle with the process. I also like the idea of keeping it simple. It couldn't have been easier.
A little while ago, I tuned in to CNN and saw Wolf Blitzer interviewing someone, and there were two smaller boxes on the screen. In one, they just had footage of raging fires consuming homes in Southern California. There was no information about this being given. The box was just for people who wanted to see homes burning down.
The second box was promoting Anderson Cooper's upcoming special on Global Warming. It was filled with shots of glaciers melting, water rising, drought-stricken land, etc.
In the main scene, Blitzer was discussing the War in Iraq and the latest casualty figures for American troops and Iraqi civilians.
And then along the bottom, there was a crawl telling us that portions of New Orleans that had been rebuilt since Katrina have been destroyed by the latest flooding.
I watched it all for about three minutes and then came to the following conclusion: The greatest threat facing us today is that Barack Obama doesn't wear an American flag lapel pin.
For some reason, I get a lot of questions about the Abbott & Costello cartoon series that Hanna-Barbera made in 1967. There were 156 5-minute cartoons made in a matter of months. The films went out into the syndication marketplace, didn't do too well and received only limited exhibition thereafter. Someone apparently lost a pile of cash on the deal but as I understand it, it wasn't Hanna-Barbera. I once asked Joe Barbera about the show and his answer went something like this: "The agents came to me one day and said, 'We've got this offer to do all these Abbott and Costello cartoons if we can do them for X dollars.' We had a lot of writers and artists sitting around with nothing to do at the moment so we grabbed it and we did them and I got to meet and work with Bud Abbott."
That was all he remembered and there may not have been much more to it than that. The cartoons were H-B standard, which at the time was roughly equal to Abbott and Costello standard. A year earlier, H-B had done 156 Laurel & Hardy cartoons that, to put it charitably, were not worthy of their subjects and which were criticized as such. No one seems to have been as offended by Bud and Lou being Hanna-Barbera-ized, partly because it was Abbott and Costello and partly because Bud himself participated. The best thing you can say about the series is that we got to hear him again, and Bud — who was hard up for money at the time — made enough of it to last him for the rest of his life and not feel like a charity case. (He died in 1974. I met him briefly out at the Motion Picture Country Home on one of my visits out there to see Larry Fine, but all I got to do was shake hands and lay a few nice words on the guy. He wasn't in the mood or health for any sort of conversation. Oddly enough, though he and Larry had similar backgrounds and many mutual acquaintances, neither seemed aware or interested that the other was there.)
Due to some combination of age and disinterest in the material, Abbott's vocal performances in the cartoons were generally uninspired. Still, it was nice to hear him, and there were moments when you heard traces of the old magic as he bantered with Stan Erwin, who provided the voice of Lou Costello. Erwin was a former performer who was then working as the Entertainment Director for the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas. In fact, in that capacity, he'd booked Abbott and Costello, and later booked Costello as a solo after the team split up. Legend has it that he got the cartoon job because someone at H-B asked Abbott who did the best Costello impression he'd heard and he mentioned Erwin.
Whatever the cartoons' financiers lost in syndication, they may have made up in merchandising. There was a fair amount of it featuring the animation models of Bud and Lou. The best thing — and it was a lot funnier than the cartoons — was an Abbott & Costello comic book published by Charlton Comics. The early issues were written by Steve Skeates and drawn by Henry Scarpelli, and they were pretty good. If the show had been that clever, it might have been a hit.
And that's just about everything I know about it. Here's the opening...
If you're interested in what's up with the fires in Southern California, this weblog seems to have better information than any of the so-called mainstream press sources.
A couple of folks 'n' friends have written to ask if my home is at all threatened by any of the fires raging around the Southland. I appreciate the concern and I even more appreciate that the nearest fire is at least eighteen miles from me. Sadly, I know folks whose homes are in danger, including one in San Diego who's lost his.
Obviously, it's all very sad but as I get older, I find that this kind of disaster increasingly makes me angry. No, not angry at the forces of nature. No point getting mad at them. But there is a point in getting mad at all the trivial, unnecessary things our government spends its time and our money on. Every minute they spend debating things like that moveon.org ad and every billion that disappears mysteriously into the Iraq War is a resource we don't have to protect our citizens when a fire or Katrina hits. We hear a lot these days about "value voters" and I don't know that I share some of their values. Mine include helping out our fellow human beings in time of trouble, which means being able to help. We can't eliminate hurricanes but we could sure eliminate a lot of the nonsense that limits our ability to respond when a hurricane occurs.
In other depressing news: It's barely hit the wires but singer-actor Robert Goulet is hospitalized and in critical condition, awaiting a lung transplant. I know the man has been the subject of some jokes dwelling on his ego and/or seeming willingness to appear in anything. In fact, I sheepishly admit, I've written a few in my day. But I've also always admired him as a first-rate talent and entertainer. A few years ago, I saw him at Carnegie Hall and he sure filled the place with a sense of history and stardom. Here's hoping he has more such performances ahead of him...for our sake as well as his.
October 24, 2007
