Monday, January 28, 2008

From the Lines

Back from picketing. It was WGA-SAG Solidarity Day today on the front lines at Fox, which meant I not only saw a lot of writer friends but actor friends, as well.

A few correspondents have asked exactly why it is we picket. There are a couple of reasons, one being that it's traditional. The other labor unions in town expect it of us, and if we didn't picket, everyone would be saying, "Those spoiled writers think they're too good to picket" or maybe "The writers aren't really behind their guild's strike. They don't care enough to come out and picket." We also picket for the news value, to keep the story in the headlines and to remind everyone that we're still out, that we still don't have anything close to an acceptable offer for our services.

There were a lot of news cameras out there today. For a time, I was picketing behind a gent who had the letters "WGA" shaved into the back of his head, and three separate camera crews practically mowed me down, trying to get some footage of that. Also, there was some woman there...I have no idea who she is and neither did any of the folks with whom I was then picketing. But she's apparently a regular on some popular series and she was surrounded by cameras and microphones and from what I could hear, she was saying all the right things. (The "buzz" on the line, for what it's worth, is that the Screen Actors Guild hates the DGA deal even more than most writers, and that they're determined to accept nothing even remotely in the same ballpark.)

And I guess we also picket for ourselves. None of us like being on strike but there's some wonderful camaraderie and mutual reassurance that happens there, marching with folks who are solidly on your side. I have never believed a syllable of those rumors that the Guild was divided on this issue, that there were gaggles of top screenwriters and show runners poised to break the strike and flee the Guild. Those tales are absolute Bandini, through and through. But if I ever did believe them for a second, a visit to a picket line like today's would calm any concerns.

It was actually quite pleasant, especially since I did something that was, for me, rather smart. The last time I went over to picket Fox, I drove around for half an hour, unable to find a parking space in the same zip code. Today, I was shrewder.

Fox is on Pico Boulevard. So is one of my favorite restaurants. I went and parked on the street near the restaurant, went in and had a bowl of Turkey Rice Soup...then I jumped on the #7 Pico bus and let it take me about two-thirds of a mile to the picketing. When I was done, I hopped the same bus going the other way and let it take me to my car. Total cost? $1.50 for the bus (75 cents each way) and four bucks for the soup. I actually didn't have to have the soup in order for the plan to work but I thought it was a nice touch.

• Posted at 4:56 PM · LINK

From the E-Mailbag...

R.D. Francis just sent me this message...

Isn't it early to write Giuliani out of the race? My understanding is that he's had a poor showing at least in part because his campaign is focused on the states with the most delegates to the convention, and where he expects to be able to do well (like New York state).

Now, it's still entirely possible that, in spite of not being mathematically eliminated, his profile will simply have slipped low enough (or that the people will assume that the numbers he's gotten are the best he can do in the states the have held their caucuses and primaries) that he won't do well even where he is trying; but, in all fairness, the real test of the strategy has not yet arrived.

I admit to being a bit curious; I'm not sure what the minimum number of states one can take and still win the nomination (or, for that matter, the presidency) is. I'm not so fond of this strategy, as it allows for the practical disenfranchisement of any number of smaller states (from Alaska and Hawaii to Rhode Island and Maine, at a guess). After all, what the American people really don't need is more reasons to feel disenfranchised or divided.

Giuliani has yet to win a primary and yes, he's pinned his strategy on big states like Florida and New York. But at the moment, he's running a distant third in Florida and may even come in fourth. In New York, the most recent USA Today/Gallup poll has McCain at 42% in that state and Giuliani at 24%. Now admittedly, the polls have not been that accurate in these primaries but they'd have to be a lot wronger than they've been for Rudy to take either state, and he probably needs both. (Also admittedly, there was a point where it looked like McCain was running for naught but Giuliani doesn't have time to make that kind of turnaround.)

Technically, I believe anyone can still win. As I understand it, if no one clinches a majority of the delegates before the convention — possible, not probable — and no one wins on the first ballot, Al Gore and Jeb Bush could sweep into their respective conventions and be nominated and we could have the 2000 election all over again. I don't think that's going to happen, just as I don't think Rudy is going to be the nominee. Not with his past showing in primaries, not with his poll numbers in the upcoming ones, and not with so many prominent G.O.P. leaders clearly opposed to him. My guess is he does so poorly in Florida that he pulls out then, rather than endure the humiliation of having his home state knock him out completely.

• Posted at 10:50 AM · LINK

Streaking

There have been 468 issues of Mad Magazine. That's a staggering number. Why, as the editors themselves would tell you, that must represent more than a hundred jokes.

Mike Slaubaugh, over at this site, tracks things like who's been in how many issues. At the moment, Al Jaffee has been in the most with 437 issues and my partner Sergio Aragonés is first runner-up with 410. Al and Sergio, by the way, will both be Guests of Honor at this year's Comic-Con International and I'll doubtlessly be hosting a panel with the both of them, plus a few other longtime Mad contributors.

Ah, but what about consecutive appearances in the magazine? What about that? Mike tracks that over on this page where we see that at the moment, writer Dick DeBartolo has been in 384 consecutive issues (103-present) while Sergio has been in 375 consecutive issues (112-present). Try as he may, my amigo has been unable to pull into the lead. Every time he gets something in the magazine, so does Dick, probably for no other reason than to deny Sergio the lead. (We recently wrote about The DeBartolo Streak here...and I guess I shouldn't call it The DeBartolo Streak because that conjures up a very unpleasant mental image.)

Last night, I raised Sergio's hopes for naught. I haven't seen the current issue yet but Dave Mackey e-mailed me to say that Dick D. didn't seem to have an article in it. True, Dick is a Creative Consultant for the magazine but we don't count that. Besides, being a Creative Consultant for Mad is like being a Campaign Adviser for Fred Thompson. There seemed to be no actual article by DeBartolo in the issue but Sergio is in it. It says on the cover, "Not Assembled by Mexicans" but it doesn't say that one didn't write or draw a couple of pages and a batch of skinny cartoons in the margins.

I called Sergio and told him that instead of being nine issues behind Dick, he was now only eight. He was gleeful and I could hear him turning cartwheels and doing a Russian dance in celebration.

Later today though, I must dash those hopes I raised. This morn, Dave wrote me to note that on Dick DeBartolo's website, he says that in the latest issue — the one of which we speak — he "...wrote the bios of The Whitest Kids U' Know." Damn. Sorry, Sergio. But take consolation in the fact that most people think you have the better mustache.

• Posted at 10:26 AM · LINK

Today's Political Thought

Don't you feel smart? Rudy Giuliani has spent more than $30 million dollars trying to become President of the United States. You've spent nothing and you have almost the same chance that he does.

Say what you will about Alan Keyes but he's only spent about ten grand to not have a prayer in this race.

• Posted at 9:42 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

In April of 2005, Lewis Black was the guest performer at the Radio and TV Correspondents Dinner in Washington, DC. Here's a few minutes of Mr. Black attempting to be funny with Dick Cheney seated about two yards away. Talk about a tough room.

• Posted at 1:52 AM · LINK

Briefly Noted

I don't know why I'm mentioning this but the other night, Jay Leno had a segment on his show called "Doctors Tell Doctor Jokes." He brought out a number of actual doctors and they told doctor jokes. The first doctor who came out to tell a doctor joke was a gastroenterologist named Dr. Carey Strom who happens to be my gastroenterologist. I am pleased to report that he is better at performing an endoscopy than he is at telling a joke.

• Posted at 12:37 AM · LINK