It doesn't seem to be getting much attention in the news but the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employes is negotiating a new contract with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. The old contract doesn't expire for another 16 months but a new deal with the I.A. is just a formality so they might as well get it out of the way early. There will be minor adjustments and the I.A. will get some sort of token payment for New Media — a benefit of the WGA strike that I.A. leadership decried.
Bargaining was expected to be concluded a few days ago but they've run into a complication. There's a new law on the books called The Pension Protection Act, and the union's pension plan has to be recalibrated to fit. It should all be worked out soon. In the meantime, the AMPTP is scheduled to open negotiations with SAG and then AFTRA, so the IA negotiations may not resume for a while.
The more I think about it, the less I think I can predict what will happen with SAG and AFTRA. The bifurcation of that bargaining unit (as explained here) is such a wild card that almost any outcome could result. I don't think I'd wager any money on it being good for actors, however...especially not good for them in the long run.
Hey, let me tell you about Michael Hoey. Michael Hoey is one of those people who've done just about everything a person can do in show business. His father, Dennis Hoey, was a great character actor best known for his recurring role in the Sherlock Holmes films starring Basil Rathbone. Michael grew up in the entertainment industry and had a special vantage point to understand Hollywood and how it has changed over the years. He especially has wise perceptions and great anecdotes about powerful folks including Jack L. Warner, Darryl Zanuck, Walt Disney, George Cukor, Elvis Presley, John Ford, Mel Brooks, Charlton Heston, Jimmy Cagney, Angela Lansbury and Robert Blake. In high school, he had a band with Mr. Blake.
Michael has written an engrossing memoir that chronicles his life and career, his interactions and observations with folks like the above, and his stormy (at times) relationship with his father. He recently gave me a copy and I expected to like it because I've always enjoyed talking with him, but I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. The man has worked as a film editor, a director, a producer and a writer. (In the photo above, Michael's the guy on the left, going over the script he wrote for Live a Little, Love a Little with its star, Elvis Presley. Hoey worked on a half-dozen Elvis movies and the behind-the-camera stories from those jobs are worth the price of admission, all by themselves.)
What really impressed me about the book was the same thing that always impressed me about Michael. He's a very smart man with a grounded-in-reality outlook on a field that often veers wildly from sanity and realism. He writes about Elvis, for instance, with a passionate but rational perspective that one does not see in much writing about the man. He writes about everything that way.
The book is called Elvis, Sherlock and Me (How I Survived Growing Up In Hollywood), and you can order a copy from this page. I suggest you do this.
Well, I feel a lot better about the whole thing this morning. As you may recall, I caught The Kitten in the trap last night about eight. I moved it and her into the garage and she was about as uncomfortable as you'd be if I crammed you into one of those little cages. I soon discovered that she was relatively calm and accepting if she couldn't see anything or anyone. If I had the towel over the cage and the lights out, she was serene and quiet. If she saw me coming in to check on her, she began howling. So I stopped going out to check on her.
This morning, I confirmed with the vet that they could take her today and then I went out to the garage. She was peaceful until she saw me and then began howling. (By the way: Remember I said I put a piece of cardboard down on the floor of the trap? Well, she'd gnawed and clawed it into confetti. It looked like Rip Taylor had gotten into the cage with her and done his act. Talk about cruelty to animals...)
I covered the back seat of my car with newspaper and towels, then placed the trap with her in it on top of all that. I was expecting her to yell and meow all the way to the vet's but once I covered the cage, she quieted down and I didn't hear a peep out of her the entire journey; not until I took the trap out of the car at the vet's office.
She should be ready to come home tomorrow, and they say I should keep her in the trap in the garage for a day or two before returning her to the wilds of my backyard.
While I was filling out forms at the veterinarian's office, I came to the place where I had to fill in the name of the patient. It seemed insensitive or wrong somehow to write down "The Kitten" so I pulled a moniker out of thin air...or more likely, a song Groucho used to sing. Henceforth, The Kitten shall be known as Lydia. That's what I'm going to call her in the future whenever I speak to her. Whether she'll be speaking to me remains to be seen.
I'm a 30+ year member of The Magic Castle in Hollywood...and before I go any further, do me a favor. Please don't write and ask me for passes. I know you have a once-in-a-lifetime event or a dying relative whose last wish is to go to The Magic Castle and I'm your only hope. But I once gave a pass to a stranger who embarrassed me up there so I don't do that anymore.
Now, then: One evening in the early eighties, I took a group of my fellow comic book writers up there for an evening. Steve Gerber was in the group and Marv Wolfman and maybe Len Wein and some others. At the Castle, you wander from showroom to showroom seeing different magicians, and we all went into the Close-Up Gallery to see a performer named Richard Turner.
Richard Turner bills himself not as a magician but as a "card mechanic." He can fix a card game the way a good automotive mechanic can fix your Honda Civic. He can shuffle the deck, let you cut it, and he can then deal you whatever hand he wants to put in front of you without you being any the wiser. Before I go any further, let me give you a short (40 second) demonstration of what this man can do...
Pretty amazing, huh? Here's the kicker: Richard Turner is blind. Not totally blind but legally blind.
Watch the video again. He doesn't even look at the cards. It wouldn't matter. He can't see them. But after handling cards constantly all day for 40-some-odd years (he has a three-pack-a-day habit), he's developed an extraordinary touch. It is not magic. He just has these amazing hands. One demonstration of many he did that night was to have someone place either a deuce or a face card in his hand and he'd tell them which it was.
How? Simplest thing in the world. The face card has more ink on it so it weighs more. Can't you feel the difference when you pick up a card?
That night at the Castle, we were all astounded at what he did and simultaneously, we all came to the same realization: We had found Daredevil. In the comic book, blind Matt Murdock has developed his sense of touch, among others, until it can do the impossible. He also developed his physical strength and agility...and Richard's done that, too. He's a black belt karate champ. Almost everyone in our party had written Daredevil at one time or another (I'd just written a TV pilot of him for Marvel) and we were all agog at the parallels.
At the time, I was a writer for a TV show called That's Incredible! Right after Turner's demonstration, I went up to him and asked if he'd like to do that act on national television. He said yes and a few weeks later, he did. It was a very popular segment and I especially enjoyed the show's technicians in the editing room, playing and replaying the video we shot of Turner doing false shuffles, dealing from the middle of the deck or dealing the second card and making it look like the top one, etc. You couldn't catch him cheating. If you'd been in a game with him, he'd have had your wallet, socks and undies in ten seconds.
Richard works mostly in and around the San Antonio area but he also tours and if he's ever performing near you, run and get a front row seat. Also, if you're interested in learning about how to cheat at cards, he has a set of videos you can purchase through his website that you'll want.
Lastly, here's a little promotional film (nine and a half minutes) about Richard...and it even includes a few seconds of his appearance on That's Incredible! And that's all I have to say about him. I just wanted you to know about the guy and to insert into the collective wisdom that is the Internet, just what I think of him. I think he's the most amazing handler of cards I've ever seen.
So I set the trap again around a little before sundown, baiting it with some steamed cod I got yesterday from my favorite Chinese restaurant. I cut a piece of cardboard to line part of the floor so The Kitten wouldn't have to walk on grating when she ventured inside to get the cod. And then I covered most of the trap with a towel and left it there on the back porch where I usually feed The Kitten and many other critters.
I ran down every twenty minutes or so to check on the trap, as I've been doing since I started this hunt last Saturday. This evening, The Kitten was wandering around, occasionally sniffing the outside of the trap, just as she's been doing all week. Occasionally, another neighborhood cat — including the one I caught last night and the one I caught a few days ago — were hovering nearby and I chased them off. Around 7:45 when I checked, that was the situation. A little after eight, I went down and found The Kitten inside the trap...and very unhappy about it.
Actually, "unhappy" doesn't begin to describe it. Screaming. Yelling. Clawing at the cage walls. Struggling to reach through and claw me or anything nearby. Very upset.
I've moved the trap and its new inhabitant into the garage for the night. The expert tells me to keep her in the dark and not to worry too much about feeding her. Apparently, they can't perform the surgery if she's eaten in the last 12 or so hours.
I did not feel joyous about my "catch." Well, I guess I'm relieved that after a week of this, this part is over...but The Kitten is so miserable in that trap — and I can imagine the agony of riding in the car tomorrow, to say nothing of being in the vet's office. I tell myself it's for the better and that it had to be done, and I absolutely believe that. It just doesn't feel like that right now.
April 13, 2008
