Monday, May 26, 2008

Say Goodnight, Dick!

Here's a link to the New York Times obit for Dick Martin.

Most of the pieces on Martin mention the 1969 Rowan and Martin movie, The Maltese Bippy...a really awful, hurriedly-made film. It was quite a flop that did not replicate, as was intended, the success of the Martin and Lewis movies. In fact, one of the first jokes I ever sold to television was a line that Dean Martin delivered when they roasted Rowan and Martin on his show. (I didn't write on that series but the head writer, Harry Crane, sometimes bought material like that.) The line went something like this: "Dan and Dick starred in The Maltese Bippy...the movie that put MGM where it is today. In the hotel business."

That was touted at the time as their motion picture debut...but they actually starred in a 1958 western comedy called Once Upon A Horse, written and directed by Hal Kanter. It wasn't a great movie but it was a lot better than The Maltese Bippy. Most things in life are.

• Posted at 10:39 PM · LINK

Memorial Monday

I wrote a piece this morning about Memorial Day, mainly about how I respect the hell out of anyone who signs up to put on a uniform and go serve his or her country. One of the small but real pains of the Iraq War — and this was true of the Vietnam conflict, as well — was having criticism of the leaders dismissed by folks who'd ask, disingenuously and dishonestly, "Why do you hate our troops?" I don't think anyone hates the troops, and questioning the wisdom of their mission — and the smarts of those who direct them — is not in any way to denigrate the soldiers or their service. It's a job I don't think I could ever do and I'm glad that some can...and will.

And I think they oughta be paid better and get every possible piece of protective gear, as well as the best medical treatment. As you may know, George W. Bush is threatening to veto a new G.I. Bill that will raise wages and also supply college tuition for veterans who served in the military for at least three years since 9/11. This is a bi-partisan bill, the Senate version of which was sponsored by Jim Webb (a Democrat) and Chuck Hagel (a Republican). It passed with support from members of both parties. I heard Bush's explanation for opposing it, and also a similar explanation from John McCain, and I think they're wrong. I won't lay the silly "Why do you hate our troops?" line on them because I don't believe they do. I just think they're wrong about this bill.

Anyway, I wrote a piece this morning about some of this and it read as very sappy and shallow to me so I didn't post it. I decided instead to save it, reread it later and see if it was still sappy and shallow. It is so here's this post instead.

• Posted at 8:35 PM · LINK

Hollywood Labor News

When last we checked in on the actors' negotiations, the Screen Actors Guild had been unable to reach an agreement with the AMPTP on a new contract, and the other actors' union, AFTRA, had begun bargaining for its new deal. The oft-buzzed expectation was that AFTRA, being a weaker union and one not inclined to fight all that hard, would settle for crummy terms and so would undermine the SAG position.

As things stand today, that script looks to be playing out as anticipated. AFTRA has sent a letter to its members (read it here) that seems to be saying, "Hey, we're working hard for you but this is tough...don't get your hopes up. We may have to give in on some things you don't like." The standout issue would seem to be the studios' demand to remove the rule whereby they must get a performer's okay to use his or her performance in other venues, most notably in online clips. A friend of mine who's closer to the situation than I am explained it this way in an e-mail...

You have a lot of irresistible forces meeting immovable objects on this issue. The producers are saying in effect, "We must have this. We are going to get it. We will keep you on strike until you die of old age if we have to but we are going to get this." The rank and file of the actors are saying, "We will not give you this, no matter how long you keep us on strike." The problem is the union leaderships. The AFTRA leadership is saying, "We will fight this but we will not go on strike." The SAG leadership is saying, "We will fight this even if means going on strike."

And of course, the problem is that here we have AFTRA negotiating before SAG.

There are other concerns on the table. Here's a link to a PDF that SAG has issued to inform its members of what those issues are. The other one most likely to be a strike-causer is the one about jurisdiction over so-called "new media." SAG won't do notably better on DVDs than the other unions have and I can't imagine the producers holding out on the one regarding Force Majeure or the actors going on strike over Product Placement.

Still, this is going to get messy. One possible ugly scenario would begin with AFTRA's board accepting some form of what the producers want regarding the use of clips, perhaps mitigated with some limitations. The proposal already concedes that excerpts involving nudity could not be used without the actor's permission. The studios could give in on a few more points (like, your image won't be used in political commercials) to make it more palatable...and then AFTRA would recommend the deal to its members for ratification. That would not be as easily rubber-stamped as these contracts usually are. For some thespians, that's a deal-killer right there...for personal reasons as much as the financial ones. At that point, you'd have actors rallying to reject the offer and the studios holding firm that they would not sit down with SAG's bargainers as long as the AFTRA deal was unresolved.

We could, in effect, have the actors' strike run by AFTRA — whose leadership seems terrified of a strike and ill-equipped to manage one — instead of by SAG, whose leadership is ready to go to the mat on this and other issues. There are additional ways this could play out, none of them pretty. Another, of course, is that AFTRA just folds and totally undermines the SAG position.

So is there going to be an actors' strike? Hard to say. A few months ago, I thought not...but the studios are playing harder ball than anyone imagined, probably because they figure the SAG-AFTRA rift has given them an opening. It may all depend on patching that rift, or at least on finding a way to make it work for the actors instead of against them. I guess I'll stick with my no-strike prediction but I must admit I'm less confident of it now than I was in April. And I'm starting to think that if there isn't, it will not be because the AMPTP decided to avoid one by being reasonable. It'll be because the actors divided and conquered themselves.

• Posted at 11:59 AM · LINK

Two Years

Two years ago today, I hauled my (then) 344 pound self over to a hospital and underwent Gastric Bypass Surgery. Sixty-five days later, I had lost sixty-five pounds and over the next year, another 40 or so went with them. Actually, my weight has fluctuated a lot in that time — which I'm told is not unusual — but I've basically lost a hundred pounds of me.

To answer the two biggest questions: No, I have not regretted it for one second. And no, I still do not recommend it for all. Not everyone will have as easy a time as I had. I think I got lucky and it also helped that apart from weighing way too much, I was otherwise in excellent health. When you hear the percentages about how many people die or have severe complications from that surgery, you need to remember that some who have it are in pretty bad shape before the operation.

I do recommend that if you need to lose that kind of poundage, you at least look into the possibility of Gastric Bypass...but there are some people who'd simply be better off to go another route.

My body continues to change. My taste for sweets mysteriously disappeared in January of this year. Certain odd muscle aches still pop up now and then, especially when I've been too busy to go see the Physical Trainer. Every now and then, I eat or drink too fast and I have to stop and breathe slowly for about five minutes to regain my equilibrium. These are all minor negatives. It's all still a lot better than when I was at my peak of 365.

Everyone in my life has pretty much gotten used to the new, smaller Evanier...so I get fewer and fewer odd reactions. I think my favorite moment — and I think I told this here before — was when I went in to appear in a video documentary on Mel Blanc for one of those Golden Age of Looney Tunes DVDs. I was in the make-up chair being dolled up and the lady applying the Max Factor to my face asked me if I had an older brother. I told her no. She said, "About a year ago, I made up a guy who looked a lot like you except that he was older and fatter." That alone was worth the price of the surgery.

• Posted at 12:31 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

The wrong way to cook bacon...and, more importantly, the right way...

• Posted at 12:06 AM · LINK