Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Go Read It!

If you're interested in Raymond Chandler, you'll want to read this and this.

• Posted at 11:05 AM · LINK

Today's Bonus Video Link

Here, as promised: Jon Stewart on last night's Daily Show disposes of Jim Cramer and his wonderful financial advice...

• Posted at 10:33 AM · LINK

Recommended Reading/Listening

Fred Kaplan takes time out from telling us how Bush screwed up foreign policy to pay tribute to a great man of jazz. He covers two recent concerts recalling the late Thelonious Monk and even offers up sound clips.

• Posted at 10:32 AM · LINK

Big Bet

What's the worst gamble in Vegas? No, it's not Keno and it's not the Big Six Wheel. (The Big Six Wheel, which you don't see much of in the high-end casinos, is that gaming station where a lady spins a wheel, usually decorated with currency, and you lose whatever bet you were dumb enough to lay down. They put these on the floor in a location you must pass when you've won big and are on your way to the cashier to turn your chips into cash. Every so often, someone's so intoxicated by the "win" and/or alcohol that they decide to take a flyer on the wheel and in so doing, give back whatever they won. The odds on the Big Six Wheel are about the same as just throwing your money into an incinerator, though at least it's environmentally safer.)

Sorry...I got off subject. That happens around here.

Now then. The worst gamble in Vegas is a new deal they have for the buffet at the Excalibur Hotel. The buffet there is open from 7 AM until they feel like closing it (usually around 10 PM) and it costs $11.99 for breakfast, $14.99 for lunch, and $17.99 for dinner. But they're now offering something new, which is an "all-day buffet pass." You get to come and go, eating as much as you like each time for $25 a day. What's more, they give you a special ticket so you don't have to wait in line when there's a line. You can walk right in and start filling your plate, whenever you like, as many times as you like.

Even before I had Gastric Bypass Surgery, I never buffeted more than once a day in Vegas. No one needs or can tolerate that much mashed potato. Still, if you could buffet two or more times in a day, you can see where this might save you some bucks...though maybe not all that much. If one flips through the many magazines and coupon books one encounters in Vegas, one can usually find a "2 for 1" coupon for that buffet, good during off-hours...like 2 PM to 6 PM. So you and a companion could stuff yourselves for $7.50 each. Depending on when you want to eat, that might be a much better deal.

But of course, the problem with all these plays is that you'd be dining, if you can call it that, at the Excalibur Buffet. This is always a gamble of another variety...kind of like Russian Roulette with cubed Jell-O for dessert. Remember your high school cafeteria? Remember your high school cafeteria on a particularly bad day for your high school cafeteria? That's the Excalibur Roundtable Buffet on a good day. It's not quite as dreadful as the legendary Surf Buffet at the now-imploded and forgotten Boardwalk Casino, where you could look at and even sample an item without knowing whether it was beef, vegetable or tapioca pudding. There were people who eagerly chowed down on scorpion scrotums on Fear Factor but wouldn't go near the Surf Buffet.

The Excalibur spread isn't that bad but it's not somewhere you'd want to eat three meals in one day or one lifetime. Not unless your luck at the slots was running so terrible that you felt a powerful urge to do away with yourself. I did it once, back in my young and foolish days and they had a meat loaf that somehow contained neither meat nor loaf, as well as a gravy that could have served as a darned good transmission fluid. I ate what I could eat and as I was sitting there, wondering if I shouldn't stop somewhere for lunch on my way back to my room, a bus boy came by and snatched my plate. "Going back for more?" he asked.

"I think I've had enough," I said.

And then, so help me, he half-whispered, "Hey, you think this is bad, you should see the employee cafeteria."

• Posted at 10:29 AM · LINK

Today's Video Link

From the September 26, 1954 episode of the legendary Your Show of Shows, we have Sid Caesar and Howard Morris demonstrating the fine art of German double talk...

• Posted at 12:20 AM · LINK