Yesterday's Tweeting

  • I think destructive weather is God's way of showing he doesn't like the ending on Celebrity Apprentice. 08:02:47
  • Donald Rumsfeld comes out against gay marriage; says if we stop it, we'll be greeted as liberators. 14:46:33

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Conspiracy guy Alex Jones says the gov't can "create and steer groups of tornadoes." I'll believe that when they send one after Alex Jones. 15:55:15
  • Wonder if I can start a Kickstarter to raise money so I can donate to other Kickstarters. 15:56:19

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • So the moral is: When your senator votes against disaster relief for another state, brace yourself. Because yours will soon need it. 19:35:13

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Would everyone in the San Fernando Valley please keep the noise down? Some of us on this side of the hills are trying to sleep. 18:20:48
  • Coming in 2014: The next O.J. Simpson trial…in which he claims the lawyers who represented him in this one were incompetent, 21:05:14
  • Reading a lot about Penn Jillette the Ice Cream Manufacturer. Didn't he used to do magic or something? 21:06:34

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • California's Powerball jackpot hits $550 million by Saturday. That's when I enter. Who wants to win it when it's only $500 million? 09:11:28
  • This year's recipients of the Bill Finger Award have been announced. http://t.co/8JBHqrG2Ri 10:00:33
  • The Powerball jackpot has climbed over $600 million. Okay, now we're talking serious money… 13:02:16
  • Barack Obama has veggie burger for lunch. Leading Republicans call it "so much worse than Watergate!" 13:04:37

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • 9 weeks to Comic-Con. People lining up outside Hall H hoping for good seats to panels on TV shows that haven't been created yet. 18:41:10
  • Just figured it out. Penn & Teller is 12' 3" tall. 18:41:43
  • Just threw my online banker into a panic. I asked him for the last four digits of HIS social security number. He wouldn't tell me. 20:55:10

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • It's amazing how everyone knows more about what Angelina Jolie should have done than Angelina Jolie and her doctors. 11:55:21
  • As time goes by, things that were once fun lose their sparkle. O.J. Simpson trials, for instance. 13:33:17

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • An awful lot of people today seem to think their deceased female parents have a great internet connection now…and know how to use it. 15:43:45

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Sergio Aragonés came by today to show me the latest drawing he did…maybe the best drawing he ever did — a panorama of the MAD office. 23:18:28

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • I don't care if Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is tried as an enemy combatant. Reese Witherspoon on the other hand… 18:55:25

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • America's currently debating whether a guy who can't talk should have been informed that he has the right to remain silent. 15:15:13

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Watching a lot of newsmen trying to say "they've caught the bombers" while leaving themselves enough wiggle room in case it's not true. 00:39:38
  • If I were a bombing fugitive trying to avoid capture, I'd find CNN's coverage very helpful to know where the police were searching. 12:13:08

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Can't wait to find out the religion of the Boston bombers so we'll know which group of bigots gets to exploit the tragedy. 15:48:12

Yesterday's Tweeting

  • Boston police say they have not cracked the case yet, deny rumors that they're calling in Banacek. 12:24:11
  • CNN has a new policy: Everything is BREAKING NEWS, including the BREAKING NEWS that there's no BREAKING NEWS. 13:18:31
  • I think what I want is a news station that isn't afraid to say, "We and the rest of the press don't know anything yet." 16:42:23