Here's a replay of a post here from October 28, 2011. But this could have happened any day since…
I don't like salespersons or survey-takers who phone me. I will never buy anything from a stranger who calls me out of the blue and the few times I have ever answered questions on that basis, it's because I believed the caller really was from a major polling company like Gallup. I especially don't want to answer questions from survey-takers because I figure they're calling to build up a profile on me…and that profile will be used somehow to try and sell me things I don't want.
Sometimes, I immediately ask the caller, "Is the last question about how much money this household makes?" Because they always want to know that and they usually hide it at the end. I'm not going to answer their questions either way but if that question's in there, I'm especially not going to answer their questions.
The other day, a lady phoned and told me she was conducting a "brief survey" and would just need a few minutes of my time. Before I could ask her about the last question, she said, "For every survey that is completed, a donation will be made to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation"…which I believe is no longer even the name of that organization. So instantly I suspect they might not really be dealing in any way with the Foundation or maybe they're keeping in the word "cancer" to ratchet up the sympathy. I asked the lady, "How much?" and from there on, it went pretty much like this. To her credit, she started giggling about halfway through…
HER: I beg your pardon?
ME: You said that for every completed survey, a donation is made to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. How large a donation will you be making if I answer your questions?
HER: Uh, does it matter?
ME: Sure it matters. If I'm being encouraged to answer your survey because it will mean money for a worthy cause, I'd like to know how much they get. How much is it?
HER: I'm not sure…
ME: Well, is it more than five dollars?
HER: Oh, I doubt it's that much…
ME: Four dollars? Three? Let's try it the other way. Do you think it's more than a dime?
HER: I'm sorry. I don't have that information.
ME: A nickel? A penny? I don't think you should be able to make it sound like you're making a real donation if it's just a penny.
HER: Sir, I think I'm supposed to be the one asking the questions here. Anyway, they don't tell us that.
ME: Oh? You want me to answer all your questions but you can't answer even one of mine? How about this? What's your name? Or is that another one of the things they don't tell you?
HER: My name is Diane.
ME: Diane. Okay, we're getting somewhere. Now, where are you located, Diane?
HER: I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina. About the survey…
ME: Is there anyone there in Raleigh you could ask? Someone who could tell you what kind of donation is made to the Susan G. Komen Foundation if I answer your questions?
HER: No, I work at home. They give us the questions to ask and they give us this software for the computer that dials the numbers and they give us a thing called a MagicJack that makes the calls free…
ME: I understand. Okay, I won't waste any more of your time, Diane. But tell me…this survey. Is the last question on it about how much money I make?
HER: Uh…how much your household makes.
ME: Good. Because now I know I'm not going to answer your questions no matter how much money is donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. But I'll tell you what I will do. Because you were nice enough to answer as many of my questions as you could, I'm going to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen Foundation on your behalf.
HER: Really? How much?
ME: I'm sorry. I don't have that information.
I've been getting a lot of "survey" calls lately and an unprecedented number of calls from folks who, though my number is on the "Do Not Call" list, phone to try and sell me stuff. It finally dawned on me why I'm getting more of these than ever. It's the economy, stupid. So many people are outta work…or not making ends meet with the jobs they do have. They see all these ads that say "Make $100 an hour from home" and they wind up making calls on some sort of commission basis linked to eventual sales.
I'm guessing Diane made little or nothing calling me but if I'd answered all those questions…and if that info enabled someone else working a commission deal for the same outfit to sell me something…then Diane might have seen some bucks from that sale. And call me cynical but I somehow don't think the Susan G. Komen Foundation lost out on real money because I declined to participate.
Thinking it over, I'm kinda sorry I gave her a hard time. The nicer thing to do would have been to end the call as quickly as possible so she could get on to the next number on her list. And I'm wondering if when they tote up the unemployment stats if Diane (assuming she has no other job) counts as unemployed or not. I had a friend who in a moment of jobless desperation, took a "position" calling offices on a list to see if he could get them to order toner for the office copier. If they did, he got a cut. Most, of course, did not and my friend sometimes put in a 60 hour week on the phone and grossed $40 — well under minimum wage. Do we call that a job? I guess for some people these days, it is…