Sliders Go West

Certain fast food chains keep to certain areas. In-n-Out Burger, f'rinstance, is only in California, Nevada and Arizona. Koo Koo Roo is only in Southern California. Hardee's is only in 32 states…and so on. Some of these chains don't expand because they don't think there's a demand and others have reciprocal deals not to go into certain areas. Some just plain don't want to bother with setting up facilities and supply lines in other states.

For a long time, the big holdout to expansion has been White Castle. They're only in Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Detroit, Indianapolis, Louisville, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Jersey, New York, St. Louis and a few cities adjoining these places. Frozen White Castle burgers (or a reasonable facsimile) are available in the refrigerator cases of many supermarkets across the nation…and sometimes you'll find a stand that tries to confuse the issue by calling itself "White Palace" or "Blue Castle" and serving some approximation of the White Castle cuisine. But genuine White Castle outlets have been confined to the aforementioned places.

Sometimes, some company that's assembling a new food court in a mall or some sort of amusement park outside those territories will decide that it wants to include a White Castle. Those who have tasted the greasy biscuits that the White Castle people pass off as burgers will wonder why anyone would desire such a thing. The answer is usually that some exec grew up in one of the above locales, has had a jolt of misremembered nostalgia, and somehow thinks that the citizens of some other vicinity will flock to buy 'em by the bag. With this as a premise, they approach the White Castle people and offer generous terms, only to receive a polite no.

Several years ago, I found myself at a party with several folks who were involved in the planning and construction of a forthcoming Las Vegas mega-resort. (A mega-resort is basically a hotel where you have to walk a long distance to your room.) The gent who was in charge of the food court told me — with a note of pride and achievement in his voice — that the selection of fast food outlets would include…a White Castle. I said, "Really? I always heard they refuse to go outside their area. How did you get them to agree to set one up in Vegas?" He revealed, as if mentioning a minor technicality, that the White Castle Board of Directors was as yet unaware that their wares would be in his food court. "They cannot say no to our offer," he said in a manner that echoed Don Corleone and explained that the terms he'd be presenting were such that someone would have to be brain-dead to decline. Then he added that if by some chance the head honchos at W.C. were brain-dead or foolishly stubborn, his hotel had "certain business connections" that would and could pressure them into accepting his generous proposal. I don't think he meant Mafia or anything of the sort. I think he meant genuine, above-board business connections. I also think that at that moment, he would have bet his house and kids that he could bring the White Castle execs to their knees and force compliance.

Eight months later, the hotel opened. In its food court, in the slot that was obviously intended for a White Castle, there was a Wendy's or maybe a Fatburger. Many years later, there is still no White Castle stand in Vegas or anywhere west of St. Louis.

But we may be seeing the end of an era. At the end of July, a new movie is being released called Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. It's a road trip movie about two guys who crave White Castle burgers. The very existence of the film will obviously give a pretty good boost to the chain in terms of publicity…but a friend of mine who works for the company releasing the movie says that this will coincide with White Castle coming to Hollywood. He says one will open at or around where Sweetzer Avenue intersects the Sunset Strip. This is very close to the location of Carney's, which is one of the best places in L.A. to get a burger or hot dog swimming in chili but my friend says, "That's where they're saying it's going to be."

You now know as much about this as I do. My friend may be wrong (he's been wrong before) or plans may change. But I do think that if they do finally open a White Castle here in Los Angeles, an awful lot of people are going to rush to eat there. Once.