My trip last week put me in four different airports in four days. I ate nothing at my home airport but at each of the others, I had a slice of pizza. I have no idea why I did this because airport pizza is always terrible. How…terrible…is…it? The following is not a joke: The best pizza I ever had at an airport was Pizza Hut.
At Memphis Airport, I had but a few moments to grab a bite of something before boarding the second leg of my flight to Indianapolis. A place called Vito's Italian Deli was near Gate A7 which I'd be going through in a matter of minutes so I gave it a try. I was perhaps attracted to the name. The best pizza I've had in Los Angeles is at a place called Vito's (obviously no relation) over on La Cienega. I like it so much I named the Italian chef on The Garfield Show Vito. Anyway, the Vito in Memphis is undeserving of the name. Even Garfield wouldn't eat his pie.
I had some time to kill at Indianapolis Airport for the trip home but in the area where I set up my laptop to work until boarding time, there were three eating options: A McDonald's, a Chinese place and a pizzeria called Giorgio's. I wasn't in a Mickey D's mood and the food in the steam table at the Chinese stand looked like it had been there since my previous trip to Indianapolis in 2010. The pizza at Giorgio's looked good but tasted like matzo covered in catsup and Cheez Wiz. Maybe for Passover…
On the way back to L.A., I had to change planes in Minneapolis without much time to eat and board. Near the gate on Concourse G was Taste of Tagliare, which looked like Sbarro Done Right. It turned out to be Sbarro Done Same. I ate about a third of a slice before it went into the trash. Awful, awful pizza.
So here's what I don't understand: Why? Why is airport pizza so far below the standard we'd expect from a pizzeria not in an airport? Thousands of pizzerias across the nation master the skill of making good pizza. Why do none of them set up the same assembly line at an airport? Or if they do, why do they serve a product they would never serve outside the airport? I understand being able to stay in business with rotten pizza when your potential customers only have the option of you or Burger King. I don't understand not trying for something better than being the least bad alternative.