Pizza Politics

This is another one of those things I don't understand. In fact, it's several.

"Papa" John Schnatter, CEO of Papa John's Pizzas, is a Mitt Romney supporter and fundraiser. Okay, fine. If I were that rich, I might look more favorably on Romney but I hope I wouldn't. Anyway, Schnatter says that if "Obamacare" is not repealed, its requirement that his firm provide an affordable health care plan for his employees will kick his prices up around 15 cents a pie or an average of 25 cents per order. This is supposed to frighten us into voting for Romney, the man who vows to repeal "Obamacare" on Day One of his administration even though he probably doesn't have the power to do that.

First, doesn't that requirement — affordable health care — only apply to firms with 50 full-time employees? How many Papa John's Pizzerias have 50 full-time employees? I'm no expert on this but I was always under the impression that those sad-looking teens who show up at your door with your order were part-timers, working mostly when demand was highest. And how many people might there be back at the Papa John's restaurant making pizzas? But let's leave that aside and assume that, yes, the price of a pizza will have to go up fifteen cents or so to pay for those employees' health insurance.

Uh, what exactly is the problem here?

I'm just thinking what a colossal asshole a person would have to be to say, "No, I'd rather see another human being go without health insurance than pay fifteen cents extra once in a while for a pizza."

We pay higher prices all the time for things we buy and we will again for our Papa John's pizza. The cost of real estate will go up. The price of cheese, tomatoes, beef and other ingredients will rise. What they have to pay for advertising…or for the gas in the delivery vehicles…or for the gas that powers their ovens…or even what they pay their employees at all…this will all rise and that will up the cost of a pizza. It may also go up because Mr. Schnatter and his Board of Directors raise their salaries.

So this time it goes up a little so that some guy can afford to take his sick kid to the doctor. Why should that bother anyone who thinks of themselves as belonging to the human race?

I was going to write, "If it bothers you, deduct fifteen cents from the tip and you'll be even on the deal. I suspect the delivery guys won't be too upset about that." But it occurs to me that the kind of person who'd have a problem with paying fifteen cents extra for a pizza for that reason is probably the kind of person who doesn't tip.