We're Saved! We're Saved!
I'm just going to reprint the opening paragraphs of this very happy news…
Amazing Kreskin offers to fix fiscal cliff
Finally, a light at the end of the "fiscal cliff" tunnel: The Amazing Kreskin is here to help.
Kreskin, billed by his publicist as the world's most renowned mentalist, was a fixture on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1970s. Now 77, he says he can break the stalemate over taxes and spending that has gripped Washington for much of the past two years.
All it would take is an hour in a room with President Obama and House Speaker John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) or their proxies.
"If I can, through mental suggestion and mental conditioning, bring both to a state of mind where I've lifted all the pressure, all the threats, all the money being offered and all the fears of the next election, I can bring them together to their unconscious level, and they will start to think in terms of compromising," Kreskin said in an interview.
Kreskin made the offer via news release Thursday to fly to Washington and help with the cliff after observing what he described as a mounting crisis in government.
"I'm a little bit worried we're in a crisis psychologically, too," he said. "We've got to start thinking about each other."
Wow. He can not only get Obama and Boehner to agree but he can do it with their proxies, without either man even being present. That's sure worthy of his adjective/given name. And of course, once Boehner comes back with a compromise agreement that Obama also likes, it'll be a small matter to get the rest of Congress to sign off on it…because there's nothing Republicans like better than compromising with Barack Obama.
Well, so much for that Fiscal Cliff matter. Now, will someone see what Kreskin can do about Global Warming, war in the Middle East, and that sewer line blockage I have under my house? I'm guessing my sewer will take him the longest…but it's right up his alley.