I haven't mentioned it lately but I continue to get 2-5 calls per day from folks who want to remodel my home, solarize my home, paint my home or even sell my home. Somehow, I got on a list that someone sells of homeowners and I've given up asking the callers where they got my number because none of them seem to have a clue. They got it from someone who got it from someone who got it from someone…
A few of these people sound like actual contractors who are desperate for new business. Most, I suspect, are people who have almost nothing to do with the outfit for which they are fronting. Once, I asked a caller who claimed to be with a contracting company if their firm did refractory zone compliance work and he said, "Yes, we're very experienced in that," even though I made that term up.
For the most part, I feel like the caller is someone who's outta work — probably way outta work — and who answered an ad somewhere that said, "You can make up to $2000 a week." What that means is that they're handed a list of phone prospects, possibly as part of a piece of software that does the dialing for them, and they're given a script to read…and then they call strangers cold. If one of those cold strangers is willing to let a sales person come over to give an estimate, and if that sales person lands a sale then the caller gets a commission on the deal.
Theoretically, those commissions could add up to $2000 a week or whatever number is promised in the recruitment ads…but I'll bet they never do. I'll bet a lot of those callers do the job for a week or two, realize it's never going to yield any real bucks and then go try to find something else.
I generally feel sorry for them on an individual basis but not on a collective one. Sometimes, I tell one, "You know, if I was interested in this, I would have said yes to one of the ninety people who've called in the last few weeks reading me the exact same sales pitch." When I say this, I often hear a little sad sigh that suggests to me the caller is thinking, "Jeez…I didn't realize these people have already turned this down so many times."
The real annoying ones though are the ones reading scripts that suggest we have had a prior relationship and I asked them to call. One such caller phoned here around Noon yesterday…
HIM: Good day, Mr. Evanier. This is Bob Johnson with the Home Repair Center calling again. You spoke with me last year and you asked me to call you back in September because you said you'd be ready to do some work on your home…
ME: No, I didn't speak to you. You're lying.
HIM: Well, I spoke to someone there. Is there another Mr. Evanier?
ME: Not this side of the Mississippi.
HIM: Well, I spoke to someone there. We're working in your area so if it's all right with you, I'll stop in shortly and give you that free estimate we spoke about.
ME: You mean the one we didn't speak about. No, you may not stop in. We never spoke about a free estimate and I don't need any work done.
HIM: I'll be by shortly. Goodbye.
And that was the call. Ninety minutes later, a man came to my door. He was not Bob Johnson — I doubt Bob Johnson was even Bob Johnson — but he stood ready to give me my free estimate on whatever it was his company could do for me. When I told him I didn't need any work done and had not said I did, he got a bit perturbed…
THIS GUY: Then why did you ask to have us come by and give you a free estimate?
ME: I didn't. I told the man on the phone not to come by.
THIS GUY: He told me you did.
ME: He lied to you the same way he lied to me when he claimed we'd spoken before and I'd asked him to call. He probably also lied about his name being Bob Johnson. Hey, how many Bob Johnsons do you have making these calls?
THIS GUY: A few. I don't know. Look, I'm sorry about that but I am a good contractor. While I'm here, is there any work you need done around here? I'd be glad to put in a bid on it.
ME: I have some work but I also have a good contractor. I have a guy who's worked for me for years and I trust him and he doesn't have a single lying Bob Johnson working on his behalf.
THIS GUY: Those guys don't exactly work for me. It's like a service. They find me prospects. Listen, let me bid on the job, whatever it is. I promise you I'll beat your guy's price.
ME: I'm sure you will on the first job…but you're not going to beat his track record with me or his reliability. Don't take this the wrong way but you could be the most inept, dishonest contractor in the business for all I know.
THIS GUY: I can give you referrals…testimonials from satisfied customers…
ME: And I'll bet they're all named Bob Johnson. Look, you're wasting your time and even worse, you're wasting my time. I don't need a contractor. I have one I trust. If you were me, you wouldn't dump a contractor who's proved his skill and honesty because some other one you never heard of came in and gave you a lowball estimate. I'm even suspicious of low prices. I figure any guy can do the job cheaper if he doesn't do it as well.
THIS GUY: All right. Sorry I bothered you. It's just that…well, you know it's tough out there these days for a contractor. I have a family and I have a mortgage just like you.
ME: I don't have a family and I don't have a mortgage but I know what you mean. Hey, how many jobs have all these Bob Johnsons gotten you?
THIS GUY: Not many. None, come to think of it. But I had to try something.
So I wound up feeling sorry for This Guy, too — not sorry enough to consider throwing over my honest contractor for someone else who might be just as good but a tad cheaper — but sorry nonetheless. Your life can't be going well when you're counting on Bob Johnson to save it.