Flash Point

As a member of several Academies and Guilds, I get a lot of invites to screenings, free DVDs and copies of screenplays. All are intended to maybe, someone hopes, cause me to vote for the film or TV show in question in whatever awards competitions I vote in. The DVDs often come packaged in elaborate, attention-getting packages designed by someone who either doesn't know or doesn't care that the main appeal of DVDs is that they fit neatly on your shelves. I get a lot of screenplays, too.

Today, I received a "first." Warner Bros. Pictures sent me — and I guess, most members of the Writers Guild — a USB flash drive containing PDFs of four current movies — The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The Brave One, The Bucket List and Michael Clayton. They take up 893,952 bytes on a flash drive that holds 58.8 MB and is imprinted with the names of the four movies on one side and a WB logo on the other.

At first, I was leery of plugging the thing into my computer. After all, I'm on strike against this company. What if it's some instrument of revenge with a lethal virus that will turn my hard disk into guava jelly? Maybe there's a hidden program on there that will, without my knowledge, post a message on my blog that the latest AMPTP offer is a windfall and we'd be lamebrains to not grab it and scurry back to work.

These are both valid worries but I decided to live dangerously. I plugged the thing in and even read one of the scripts on it. I may read the others before I wipe the drive and use it to back up my work.

Coyote Ugly

If you've sent me an e-mail lately, be advised: The e-mail end of my Road Runner High Speed Internet Connection seems to have encountered some diabolical invention of the Acme Company that slows it to about the pace of a banana slug on valium. I'm just now receiving some messages sent to me last night and I got one that its sender swears was dispatched on Tuesday.

Hey, here's something about e-mail that sometimes bothers me. When I was in New York, I sent some e-mail via a rent-by-the-hour computer in the Business Center in the lobby of the Hotel Pennsylvania. I didn't notice that the clock on the computer was set wrong and as a result, all those e-mails arrived at their destinations bearing time stamps a day or two before the correct date. They therefore didn't show up at the top of some folks' inboxes, and a couple of recipients didn't notice they had new mail from me. Why do e-mail readers work like that? Shouldn't the time stamp they display on a message be the time/date it was received? Or actually sent?

I get a lot of e-mails that are dated for the year 2000 because the sender didn't have the date set on their computer at all. I have a friend who keeps turning the clock back on her computer because she doesn't want a certain piece of "time trial" software to expire. As a result, every e-mail I get from her is dated before the one before. It's like she's pulling a Billy Pilgrim, coming unstuck in time.

Don't bother explaining this to me. It's not going to change and a good reason for it won't make my e-mail files any neater. I'm just venting.

More Strike Stuff

Any optimism out there that the WGA/AMPTP strike would be over shortly seems to have been dashed with the latest news out of the negotiations. The Producers have offered what they call a generous deal and what the WGA analysts call a crummy deal full of rollbacks. Seems to me I remember us being in pretty much this same position once or twice before…or maybe in every single one of our past strikes. A negotiator we employed in one called these "Trojan Horse offers" and explained them roughly as follows: You offer to buy someone's old car — it's worth maybe $2000 — for $5000. The person is so eager to get five grand for the jalopy that they don't read the fine print in the offer which says that they rebate you $1000 for every tire on the car that you decide, at your sole discretion, is in need of replacement.

If they grab your offer, great. You then demand four thousand back for the four tires, plus maybe another thousand for the spare in the trunk. If they do catch on and refuse, you can at least go around and say, "I'm not cheap! I made him a $5000 offer for a car worth less than half that." In the midst of an ugly strike, with public relations at least as important as the actual offers, that might not be a bad chess move. Plus, there's always the chance that the strike leaders are getting weary and either might not realize how lousy the offer is or might seize on the opportunity to end the war and look, at least briefly, like heroes.

Of course, I'm assuming here that the WGA analysis of the offer is correct. It probably is but wouldn't it be nice if we had a neutral third party to assess such things? Like say, the press? During past strikes, I thought it would be great if Variety or Hollywood Reporter or the L.A. Times engaged an attorney with some solid math skills not to take sides but merely to fact-check and explain the various offers and proposals, and to cleave through the spin from all factions. Out here in the cheap seats, most of us don't have the data to make those assessments, nor do we even get the precise language being proposed. I'm thinking about that now because we're likely to now get a sales campaign from the AMPTP that will try to tell the rank-and-file of the WGA that we have a great, lucrative offer but that our leaders are too dumb and/or battle-crazed to realize that.

I was going to write here that I don't understand why the numbers have to be so complex and arguable but I guess that's the whole point. In past negotiations, we often hit a point where the Producers were saying, "This proposal of ours would pay writers at least $200 million a year" and our side was saying, "No, it wouldn't." In those situations, I don't know why the Producers don't just say, "Okay, we'll guarantee that number. If it turns out to be any less than $200 million, we'll donate the difference to the WGA Health and Pension Funds." Wonder why they don't do that.

Anyway, I have men coming any minute now to begin ripping out walls in my dining room and kitchen where that leaky upstairs toilet did its damage. So I'll just answer this question from Christopher Jones and then attempt to take the day…

I'm curious how the rules are set up for what writers can't do during the strike. Could a screenwriter be working on a screenplay for a film as long as it wasn't commissioned by a studio or some other entity covered by the strike, as long as (s)he didn't take any steps toward selling or promoting that script until after the strike was settled? I guess I'm trying to understand where the boundaries are as to what work is covered by the terms of the strike and what isn't.

The official rule is that we don't write anything that might contribute to the production of motion pictures or television by a struck company, during or even after the strike. That means that if you're a staff writer or story editor on Ugly Betty, you don't even sit at home working on Ugly Betty ideas and scripts to submit after the strike. The Producers have to settle with us and then you'll get back to it.

Now, in truth, a lot of writers seize on the opportunity to work on "spec" scripts, usually for movies, that will be shopped around after the strike, and no one has ever even suggested that this be viewed as scab work. I doubt anyone ever will fault a WGA member who does that but it's not the letter of the law.

I have a piece coming up over at The New Republic (I'll link when it's up) about scabbing. One point I may not be able to shoehorn into the article is that non-WGA members who dream of writing screenplays sometimes think (wrongly) when we strike, "This could be my golden opportunity!" They suddenly deluge agents and producers with scripts…and I'm not sure anyone has ever even come close to selling one of them. The stark reality of the situation is that it costs a lot of money to make movies. Studios don't like to gamble tens of millions of dollars to make a movie these days until they've gone through a few dozen drafts by several of the top, most trusted screenwriters. They're not inclined to risk that kind of loot on a script written wholly by one guy who couldn't sell anything until 10,000 more experienced writers became unavailable.

But actually, the strike is even worse news for the wanna-bes…because after it's over, there are all these spec scripts suddenly being shopped about that the successful guys wrote during the strike. So the odds of a gas station attendant selling his spec script are even worse…not that they were ever better than one-in-a-zillion before. It's just that the competition is even more formidable then.

The doorbell just rang, the construction guys are here and I gotta go.

Go Read It!

In an interview from 1970, Groucho Marx discusses various topics with Roger Ebert, including the movie, Skidoo.

Strike Stuff

From within the WGA/AMPTP negotiations, I am hearing…absolutely nothing. As tempting as it might be to try to spin that as a good sign, it could just as easily be a bad sign. Or a sign that even the folks inside aren't sure where things are heading. I just know that the negotiators have a lot of uncommon ground to get across and that bargaining with the AMPTP, because it represents such a bureaucracy of different (and sometimes, warring) corporations can be agonizingly slow. So let's leave it at that.

I haven't answered e-mails here in quite a while so let's run through a couple, starting with this one from Nevin Liber…

With the strike going on, I was thinking of getting some TV show DVDs of stuff I've missed over the last few years. Should I put that off, and wait until you guys get a better deal?

I can't speak for writers who have a lot more of their work coming out that way than I do, but I would think it wouldn't make much difference. First off, any DVD increase we receive is going to be tiny. Secondly, it will probably not apply to DVD sets issued before the new contract. Lastly, I doubt any movement in that direction would make enough of a difference in sales to be noticed. If it did — if it actually caused sales to dip — the Producers would probably seize on that to argue that the market was crashing and that they had to slash our compensation, not increase it. So while the thought is appreciated, I don't think it matters.

J. Hoekstran writes to ask…

Someday, they'll settle this strike. What will it mean to the resumption of new programming? How soon would scripts be finished? How soon would they be on the air?

Simple answer: It will vary. There are shows that stopped production with scripts in the pipeline that just need a little tweaking before they can be filmed or taped. There are others that will have to start from scratch. There are many that even when they have scripts will need much time to restart the production process. A sitcom can usually go from a finished script to the first day of its rehearsal in well under a week. A CSI-type show needs to scout locations, cast additional actors, etc. In some cases, they may have laid off personnel and need to lay them back on. Some shows may try to get a running start on airing new episodes, getting several banked and then doing a big re-premiere.

I would imagine that Leno, Letterman, The Daily Show and programs like that could resume taping rather swiftly. In fact, one indicator that the strike may be about to break would be if those shows' networks start making a serious effort to line up their guests. Another might be if NBC shifted to more recent reruns of The Tonight Show. In case you haven't noticed, they're running old Jay Leno shows from when Branford Marsalis was his bandleader, Helen Kushnick was the producer and Jay's hair was mostly one color. It's an interesting reminder of how clunky that show was shortly after he took it over but it's almost like fragging your own troops. The ratings aren't grand. Makes you think someone at the network was thinking, "Hey, maybe we can embarrass Leno into coming back and doing new shows."

The upcoming Christmas holidays present some problems, of course. If they settle the strike today, writers will be writing tomorrow. If they settle it December 24, it may be a while before those keyboards are working to capacity. Traditionally, there's not a lot of Show Business in this town between around 12/21 and the first Monday after New Year's. Some producers love to give a writer an assignment just before Xmas…then the producer goes off on a holiday and expects to see a first draft upon his or her return. So like I said, it will vary.

Lastly for now, Scoutmaster Bob (that's how he signed his e-mail) wants to know…

Are people really emotional about this strike? Or is it just business?

I'd say both things are happening, Scoutmaster, and it's sometimes hard to tell which ballpark you're playing in. People can get emotional about their livelihoods, their work, their family's health insurance, etc. You have here a strike that's reportedly costing someone — it's hard to figure out exactly who — around $20 million a day. That's got to be destroying someone's life, someone's career, someone's business, etc. So emotion, whether it's anger or frustration or sadness, is not unlikely. Most CEOs and corporate types are good at not getting lathered up over business disputes…and at its core, that's all this is: A business dispute. Nothing that happens is likely to cause Peter Chernin to miss a house payment or lose his dental plan so maybe to him it's really just business without all the personal concerns. Then again, the strike has cost them a lot of money and killed a lot of someone's pet project and in a corporate environment, that does not occur without a fair portion of blaming, yelling and firing.

I'm not sure I can give you much more of an answer than this. Yes, some people are definitely emotional and with good reason. (In my own personal experience, the ones who get most upset are usually neither Management nor Strikers. They're the ancillary people — development execs, studio crew, etc. — whose lives are disrupted but who don't see that they stand to gain directly no matter how the strike turns out.) Still, it's possible to accept a certain amount of the disruption as part of the business. Entertainment is a roller coaster industry that even with no strikes looming goes up and down a lot. That's why it pays so well, especially on the "up" parts. We all expect a certain amount of instability…and this strike certainly came as no surprise to anyone who was paying attention. I think a lot of folks on both sides are mad at themselves for not being better prepared for it.

And that's all we have time for now. If I hear anything about the talks, I'll report it here but I have the sense I'm not going to hear anything.

Holy Re-Release!

batmanvillains1

On Tuesday, I was interviewed on camera for one of those little "special feature" interviews that comes on a DVD — in this case, it's an upcoming release of the 1966 Batman movie starring Adam West, Burt Ward, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith and Frank Gorshin but not (sigh) Julie Newmar, who was replaced in the Catwoman role by Lee Meriwether. The film's been available on DVD for some time but this is a more deluxe packaging with extra bells and whistles. I don't know when it's coming out…and to head off the obvious question, I don't think this means anything in terms of the Batman TV show being released on DVD. As far as I know, Warner Home Video and Fox Home Video are still quarrelling over which of them has the right to issue that one. Perhaps if this new DVD of the movie does exceptionally well or even exceptionally poorly, it will shake up the dynamics of that dispute.

Anyhow, I explained to the camera how it wasn't the same with Ms. Meriwether — lovely though she was and is — in the cat suit; how I kept waiting for Batman to rip off her mask and shout, "You! You're not the woman who played Stupefyin' Jones! What have you done with the real Catwoman?"

Mostly, I talked about…

  1. How creepy it was that Cesar Romero hadn't shaved off his mustache to play The Joker so they put the clown white makeup right over it. On my 17" Zenith at home, it was no big deal but on the big screen at the Picwood Theater, it looked awful.
  2. How the funniest thing in the movie was, as you can see in the above photo, The Joker and The Penguin wearing masks. Yeah, you'd never recognize them with those masks on.
  3. How I liked the Batman TV show until about the time I saw the movie. I thought it crossed the line of silliness, instead of teetering on self-parody. It was also a different experience for me to hear an audience laughing out loud at (not with) the Caped Crusaders. It was partly that and partly that the show was turning into a parody of a parody that caused me — and most of America — to lose interest in it. My friends lost interest when Ms. Newmar stopped being Catwoman…though the consensus was that Yvonne Craig in a Batgirl suit was a pretty good consolation prize. Still, when the series was cancelled, none of us cared one bit.

And I forgot to mention that three of the four actors who played the villains appeared two years later in Skidoo. Can't imagine how that escaped my mind.

The Strike Is Over!!!

The Stagehands' Strike that closed down Broadway, that is. According to this article, an agreement has been reached and most shows will reopen tomorrow (Thursday) night.

I was going to write that everyone must be happy about this but maybe not. There were 8-9 shows that were under a separate contract and able to remain open when everything else was closed. One assumes they did at least a little extra business because of this and will no longer enjoy that advantage. So I'll just say that almost everyone must be happy about this.

Software Sought

When I've been looking for a program that can do something I need, I've found it helpful to ask here. What I need at the moment is a Notes program that will let me enter notes into a database either on my desktop or my BlackBerry Curve and then to sync the databases on the two devices. I can sync Microsoft Outook between the devices and have my Contacts, Calendar and Task List on both but I don't seem to be able to use the Notes feature of Outlook. Anyone have any ideas?

Superman Meets Hercules

Over at Comic Book Resources, author Chris Knowles has been ringmastering a debate or discussion or some sort of inquiry as to whether the Superman pose on the cover of Action Comics #1 (seen above right) was derived, copied or inspired by the painting of Hercules, "Heracles and the Hydra," painted in the year 1475 by Antonio Del Pollaiolo. See here and here for such discussions. Several folks, including Chris, have asked me to weigh in so I'll weigh in…

Of course not.

There. I've weighed in. Really, I think this one is three notches below Ridiculous on the Absurdity Scale. The overwhelming number of those who've voted in the site's online poll agree. As of this moment, 952 votes have been cast and 750 feel as I do, that the poses are way too different to indicate any connection and that there's no "there" there. Of the rest, 149 think it's an "homage," which I guess means that it was inspired but not copied, and only 53 think it was copied. I don't know what those 53 are looking at. I'm sure Joe Shuster was inspired by all kinds of heroic figures he'd glimpsed but so is every artist who draws anything. I'd hate to think how many drawings have been done that were copied from the cover of Action #1. I'll bet more artists in history have imitated Shuster's composition than Del Pollaiolo's.

Wednesday Morning

My body and brain seem to be creeping back towards Pacific Time from opposite sides. Still, I don't think I'll be truly home from my trip until that crate of dirty laundry I shipped back to myself arrives and is laundered and in the dresser.

Two weeks is a long time to be away…for me, at least. It makes you appreciate things like sleeping in your own bed (or, at least, one that isn't in the Hotel Pennsylvania in Manhattan) or eating in some local restaurant. In another day or so, I suppose those feelings of reconnection will stop.

During the two weeks, two topics kept presenting themselves with the people I encountered. One, since many old acquaintances hadn't seen me in quite a while, was my big weight loss. The other, of course, was the Writers Guild Strike. I answered an awful lot of questions about both. (In Third Place was, "Hey, when is that book of yours about Jack Kirby coming out?" Answer: Late February.)

To many people, I was 100-120 pounds lighter than when they'd seen me last. (My weight still fluctuates a lot over about a ten pound spread. This morning, I was five pounds below the last time I weighed myself, which was the day I left on the trip.) I'm still amazed and amused at some of the reactions, which range from total non-recognition of me to just plain not noticing anything odd. Most interesting are the delayed double-takes. The person is talking to me for two or three minutes and then they slowly notice something is different.

I usually wind up explaining about Gastric Bypass Surgery — I've now got the basic shpiel down to under a minute — and saying that I've had almost no complications — or at least, I've had fewer physical problems than if I was still carrying all that weight around. I also usually have to listen to the other person tell me about someone they know who had similar surgery and experienced all kinds of troubles and side effects. I'm not sure if these stories should make me feel lucky or worried.

Regarding the strike, people usually seem fuzzy on whether I'm writing anything at all ("You don't have to stop posting on your blog, do you?") or just what it means. The explanation is that the WGA is on strike against just the enterprises it covers, which is the writing of motion pictures and TV shows and some animation. I'm still writing comic books and weblogs and magazine articles (I have another, shorter one coming up about the strike in The New Republic) and even a cartoon show not yet covered by the Writers Guild.

I seem to have lost a screenplay deal that would have been nice. Back when the 1988 strike hit, I was writing a script on assignment for one of the major studios — a project I really liked and which I still think would have been produced had it not been for that strike. I quite willingly stopped all work on it for the duration of our long, long work stoppage…and then when the strike was resolved, I finished it up and handed it in. Alas, by that point, every single person at the studio who'd been involved in hiring me had left that studio. I turned it in and I got paid…but I turned it in to people who hadn't championed the project, hadn't even known what it was. It is very rare in this business that someone who's involved in Development (the buying and nurturing of scripts) runs with the projects initiated by their predecessors. After all, they get hired to replace someone, not to pick up exactly where that person left off. My script was pretty much D.O.A.

This time, I didn't get as far as a deal. Long ago, I'd interested a producer in an idea for a movie. In September, he called to say he'd almost worked out with another company to co-finance the development of a screenplay. When it looked like the WGA might strike, he called to confirm what he already knew; that I would not be writing screenplays during a strike. And he said, in essence, that the other company's interest would not be waiting for me on the other side. Which I can certainly live with. In this business, things can be so flaky even without a strike that you can't get your panties in a bunch over any one project. As my first agent used to say, "It doesn't happen until it happens…and sometimes even not then."

I think that's one of the strengths we have in a strike situation. Most of us are used to projects being on and off with sudden abandon…and usually with less logic and reason than the fact that the WGA is on strike. Most writers, including the real successful ones, learn to roll with the odd rhythms and not be surprised when the thing you thought you'd be writing next week is postponed or something comes out of the blue that needs to be finished by Monday. So the answer I give people is that I may not be writing what I'd like to be writing…but I'm writing. And I've also learned to, whenever possible, like what I'm writing. Even if no one else will.

Congoing

I expect to be showing my face at more comic conventions than usual in 2008. I'm a special-type guest at the WonderCon in San Francisco from February 22 through 24, and another special-type guest at the Comic-Con International in San Diego, which is July 24 through July 27. (Actually, it opens with Preview Night on the 23rd.)

Registration is now open for the 2008 convention in San Diego and if you're thinking of attending, it wouldn't be a bad idea to sign up now. They sold out of memberships last year and everyone will be very surprised if '08 doesn't sell out long before it occurs. I understand the current plan is to not even be set up to sell admissions at the convention. Memberships will probably be scarce enough that someone will be selling them on eBay for a goodly amount. That is a prediction, not a joke.

Also, there's a progress report out that will (one hopes) kill the oft-heard rumor that the convention is moving to Las Vegas or Anaheim or L.A. or Dubuque. We keep telling you here that they're staying put and somehow, no one believes us. The con has signed to be in the same place through 2012, which is as far ahead as any convention ever plans, farther than most. Hotel rooms may be as difficult to procure in '08 as they were in '07 but I'm hearing that after that — for a number of reasons, including new hotels opening — things should get a lot better.

Of course, I'm always at the San Diego con and usually at the San Francisco one, as well. What'll be different next year is that I'll be doing a lot of new (to me) ones, especially after my book on Jack Kirby comes out in — they tell me — late February. I'll also be doing a couple of brief book tours and I'll tell you all about these when plans are firmer.

Strike Stuff

As a gesture of mutual back-patting or reaching-around or whatever you want to call it, I commend Bob Elisberg for his articles over on The Huffington Post that seek to make sense of the Writers Strike. And by the way, maybe we oughta stop calling it that and start calling it the Producers' Forced Strike or something of the sort. Of all the lunkheaded things that have been written and said about this ugly negotiation, none is more lunkheadier than the notion that anyone in power at the Writers Guild wanted to be on strike. In all the WGA picket lines I've walked, I've never encountered anyone who was "strike-happy" unless you define that in some aberrant, awkward way. ("He preferred going on strike to taking a rotten deal? Why, he must be strike-happy!")

So where are we today with this thing? They're negotiating, there's a news blackout and there are rumors that a deal has already been quietly made and that they're in there even as we speak, checking the commas on it. Excuse me if I don't believe that last part. It's possible but I think it would be healthier not to believe it. At least, not yet.

I do think a settlement is possible this year because I think the Producers have realized something. In order to soften this Guild up to the point where they'd take a crummy deal, they'd have to wait until March or April at the soonest. But there's really no point in settling with the WGA in April because the Screen Actors Guild contract is up at the end of June, and SAG is at least as militant on all the key issues as we are. That has been the brilliance of the WGA-SAG alliance in protest rallies and online videos. It has put the AMPTP on clear notice that SAG considers our fight as Coming Attractions for their fight.

To settle with the WGA in April would mean you'd be getting scripts in May and June…just in time to not start filming them because you're worried that SAG will strike. I mean, there ain't a lot of point to having scripts for My Name is Earl if Earl's out on the picket line. You're not going to start shooting a feature film on June 15 if the actors could all walk out on June 30. The only thing that makes sense from the Producers' position is to settle with the WGA and then try to make an early deal with one of the other two above-the-line guilds…probably the Directors Guild and then SAG. Once they've settled the trigger-point issues with two of those labor organizations, the third won't have a lot of room in which to manuever, nor a lot of necessity.

Like I said, I think it's healthier not to presume we're in the Endgame just yet. In any negotiation, one or both parties is liable to throw that last minute lowball, hoping the other party is eager enough to be done with it all. The WGA came into this with a pretty long list of issues that needed to be addressed, and the rank-and-file is expecting movement in some of those areas even if the matters of DVDs and Internet Streaming are resolved. That's why I don't think we're going to hear before the week is out, as some people seem to be predicting, that there's a deal that the WGA Negotiating Committee can recommend to the members. But I've been wrong before and on this, I'd love to be wrong again.

Leftovers

As you may be able to discern from the time on this posting, my brain is still on East Coast time even though my carcass is decidedly situated in Pacific. That was one of the longest spells I've ever been away from home in my life and I found myself wishing the trip had been shorter…though so many great things happened during it, I can't imagine which days I'd have given up. A better hotel room in New York, a little less rain and better Internet access would have made things just about perfect. Oh, yeah — and it would have been nice if the lady who was housesitting for me hadn't phoned to say that a water leak from an upstairs toilet was creating an aquacade in my kitchen and dining room. There's a fun bit of news when you're far, far from home.

Here are a couple of other things I'm remembering from the trip, none of them particularly important…

  • In Times Square, even in the rain, there are guys handing out leaflets and sales pitches, trying to get tourists to visit some night spot or store. Right outside the Marriott Marquis, there was a gentleman touting Dangerfield's, the comedy club that was owned by and named for Rodney Dangerfield. I've never set foot in there but the rumor is that if you do, you see a lot of underpaid comics perform to an audience of tourists, many of whom came under the delusion that there was a chance of Rodney putting in an appearance. Since his death, the odds of that happening have only gotten marginally worse. When he was alive, Rodney was filling big rooms in Vegas at $100+ a ticket. There wasn't much chance of him spending an evening surprising folks who'd already paid to be in a small room on First Avenue. Anyway, a week or so ago out in the New York rain, I was watching this guy hawking reservations to the small room, and I'm guessing he was on some sort of commission deal, getting X bucks for every outta-towner he caused to pass through the club portals. He was great, putting on a little show and doing an uncanny Rodney imitation. The logic of the sales pitch wasn't too sound — it was kind of like, "Go to this club because you used to love the comedian who sounded like this…" but he got the attention of passers-by, which few other street barkers were able to do. And he was probably funnier than half the comics you'd see if you did go to Dangerfield's. Also, cheaper.
  • U.S. Airways has gone to an odd system for the boarding of the plane. Other airlines generally divide you up into three or more groupings based on rows — rows 21-30 get on the jet all at once, rows 11-20 get on at the same time, etc. U.S. Airways divides the plane into seven or more "zones" that seem to be based not just on rows but on whether you have a window seat, an aisle seat or one in the middle. Carolyn and I took two U.S. Airways flights yesterday and on each, we were assigned different zones even though we were sitting side-by-side. But the rule is — and they don't explain this very loudly — that if you're travelling with someone who has a lower zone number than you do, you board when they board. Since about 70% of all passengers (that's a guess) are travelling with someone else, this kind of wipes out the whole point of the new divisions…or would if everyone understood the part about boarding with whoever has the lowest zone number. I saw a number of people who didn't know and who had to figure out which of them would carry what onto the plane because they thought they couldn't all get on at the same time.
  • I understand the need for security in office buildings these days but in order for Sergio Aragonés and me to get into the offices of MAD Magazine, the editor had to leave his desk and come down in the elevator to the lobby. Is this the best use of this man's time? In fact, isn't this the kind of thing MAD Magazine would be ridiculing?

And I'll probably think of more of these over the next day or three.

Superman's Secret Identity!

I am home. This morning at 6:30 AM Eastern Time, whilst trucking luggage down from our hotel room in Columbus, Ohio, I ran into my friend, Bob Ingersoll, as he checked out after a glorious Mid-Ohio Con there. At 10:30 AM Pacific Time, Carolyn and I were in the airport in Las Vegas to change planes when I received on my BlackBerry, an e-mail from Ingersoll cluing me in to the name of the guy in the photo in the previous posting. And now here I am, back at my desk and a real, full-size keyboard in Los Angeles, to share that info with you.

He's Scott Crawford, a local (in Columbus) gent who fashions expert costumes and wears them to conventions. Here's an article all about the guy. Thank you, Bob.

Super Lady

Photo by Bruce Guthrie

This afternoon at Mid-Ohio Con, I had the pleasure — and believe me, it was one — to interview Noel Neill, who played Lois Lane on the Superman TV show…the best one, the one starring George Reeves. The more I've learned about that show, the more impressed I am with how it was carried by the fine acting abilities of Reeves, Noel, and the gent who played Jimmy Olsen, Jack Larson. The series had about the same budget as the 8mm monster movies I used to make in my backyard and that meant shooting them piecemeal. That is, they'd film all the scenes in Perry White's office for several episodes. Then they'd film all the scenes in Clark Kent's office for several episodes…and so on. The actors worked killer hours, put up with cheap special effects and had to struggle to remember which storyline they were in.

And still it all worked. Few shows have ever been rerun as often and loved as much. That was all, I think, because of the three leads.

So it was great to sit and talk with Noel, especially because today was her birthday. To the delight of the audience, "Superman" arrived in mid-panel bearing a candle-lit cake…and I apologize that I don't know the name of the gent in the suit.   Noel was also presented with a huge birthday card signed by about half the people at the convention.

Photo by Bruce Guthrie

I don't know why but it makes me very happy to see someone like that mobbed at conventions, with people lining up to buy autographed photos. In many cases, the photo purchase is just an excuse to meet the person and tell them how much their work has meant to you, how much pleasure it brought. I guess a lot of it is seeing the fans make up a little for the lousy pay that folks like Noel Neill had to endure.

A couple notes before I leave the topic of Mid-Ohio Con: Not that most of you will ever be able to use this information but we had several great meals in Columbus, Ohio. Thanksgiving Day, we dined at an old and classic restaurant called Lindey's in the German District. One of the nicest places I've ever eaten in — beautiful decor, great service, exquisite food.

Then, we had a couple meals at B.D.'s Mongolian Barbecue, which is a chain that I regret has not yet reached anywhere near Southern California. I always liked the concept of Mongolian Barbecue: You fill a bowl with meat and vegetables of your choice, select a sauce and have them stir-fry the thing for you. Alas, all the ones I've been to in L.A. have disappointed me, usually because the meat in the buffet bins looked like it had been there since about the time the Macarena was popular. This was not the case at the B.D.'s a few blocks from the Mid-Ohio Con. We loved it the first visit, then Saturday night, I organized a big expedition to invade the place and it was a huge hit. Between them, Steve Rude and Sergio Aragonés, who selected the "all you can eat" option, consumed enough bowls that Mr. B.D. probably didn't show a profit for the week.

Quick! Someone near me in L.A. open one of these. And while you're at it, if you'd be so kind, I'd really like a Five Guys hamburger place. Get right on that, would you?

And of course, the con was great today and my panels went well and I talked to a lot of interesting people and all. But you already knew that. Thanks again to Roger Price, who runs Mid-Ohio Con about as well as I've ever seen a con run.