Monthly Archives: January 2006

After our recent notation of the birthday of Mr. Soupy Sales, several of you wrote to ask where on God's Green Earth it is possible to obtain copies of some of his old TV shows. Well, Amazon is now taking advance orders for Soupy Sales: The Whole Gang is Here, a boxed set of 3 DVDs that offers 190 minutes of Soupy and his friends. I have no idea what's in it or why a 3 DVD set sells for only eighteen dollars or why they can't get 190 minutes of material on one DVD. So let's announce this one with a warning flag and suggest you might want to wait until someone's actually seen the thing. If you feel like living dangerously though, here's a link to order it.

In the meantime, American Laurel and Hardy buffs have reason to rejoice. In the past, Stan and Ollie films have received a major, prestige DVD release in the United Kingdom but have only trickled with minor fanfare and cheap presentation into the U.S. market. Last March, for instance, Hallmark quietly issued a low-priced DVD with no special features and not the best prints of two of their features (Way Out West and Block-Heads) and one short (Chickens Come Home) You can order it here and again, caution is warranted.

This neglect of my favorite comedians begins to change in April with two offerings from different companies. Warner Home Video brings us a two-disc set under the Turner Classic Movies imprimatur. It features The Devil's Brother and Bonnie Scotland with commentary tracks by Leonard Maltin and Dick Bann along with trailers, clips and a documentary on short subjects. I am told the print quality is wonderful. You can advance order this set here if you like. The two films included aren't the absolute best of Stan and Ollie but they're way ahead of the films Fox Home Video is releasing at about the same time.

Fox has announced a Laurel and Hardy Giftset (that may not be the actual name) containing three later films — Great Guns, The Big Noise and Jitterbugs. By contrast to the Soupy Sales set above, this 3-disc offering contains three whole features, loads of trailers, audio commentary by Laurel & Hardy expert Randy Skretvedt, photo galleries and other material for a suggested retail price of $35. It all sounds like a first-rate packaging of three of Stan and Ollie's second-rate films. When The Boys (as we lovingly call them) moved from the Hal Roach Studio to Twentieth-Century Fox in 1941, a certain amount of their greatness did not make the transitition with them. Their later features are lesser works for the most part…or at least, that's my opinion and the opinion of most long-time scholars of their work. Recently within the Laurel and Hardy fan circles, a vocal minority has emerged to argue that the later films have been unfairly maligned, in part because viewers took their cue from Laurel's expressed dislike for them.

You can decide for yourself. Most in the "old school" of Laurel and Hardy fandom generally consider The Big Noise the poorest feature they made (I would argue for The Bullfighters, which is not on this set) while Jitterbugs is generally regarded as the best of the later crop. But nothing Stan and Oliver ever did was without interest or a few priceless moments. I don't have an Amazon link yet to offer you but one should be along soon. I'm sure gonna order it.

A great magazine cartoonist — whose style is familar to everyone who ever opened a Playboy and got past the breasts — has passed away at the age of 84. Eldon Dedini put in several years at Disney as a gagman (on Donald Duck shorts, Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Fun and Fancy Free and a few others) before he began selling cartoons to Esquire. They liked his work enough to not only fill their pages with his drawings but also to hire him to write gags for other artists. In 1959, he segued to Playboy and became one of their most prolific and valuable cartoonists. The National Cartoonists Society gave him their award for gag cartooning four times, which should give you some idea of how respected he was by his peers. Here's a link to the New York Times obit.

And just to make the day complete: While I was posting the previous message, my computer monitor breathed its last.

I had a whole batch of errands to run today…

Stop #1: My ATM. I complete the transaction and head for my car when I suddenly hear my name yelled. A woman I do not recognize runs up to me and begins hugging me and smothering me with kisses. Finally noticing my clueless expression (well, more clueless than usual), she informs me she is Kris, who worked as the second P.A. (i.e., the writers' secretary) on a show I wrote in 1982. She does not blame me for not knowing who she is because not only has so much time passed but she has also changed her hair color, lost sixty pounds and had her nose made smaller and her bustline made bigger. We have a nice conversation and Kris tells me that she hopes to see me again some day. She has more plastic surgery and another hair color adjustment planned so she says she'll make sure and tell me it's her.

Stop #2: Electronics Shop #1. I want to buy a pair of wireless headphones to plug into my new TV set so I stop at a store that should have some. They do not. The salesguy looks at me very strangely…as if there's something very odd about me wanting wireless headphones. I shall have to go elsewhere but before I do, lunch would be nice.

Stop #3: A Small Sandwich Stop. I go in and order a small sandwich. The lady behind the counter gives me the same kind of odd look and I think, "What is it with people today?" She says she'll bring my order to my table. Later, when she does, she summons up the courage to ask me, "Do you know you have lipstick all over your face?" Oh, so that's why the guy at the Electronics Shop looked at me that way.

Stop #4: The Men's Room of the Small Sandwich Shop. A look in the mirror confirms that I am streaked like an Apache in a bad western. Why do they make lipstick that doesn't stick to lips and why does Kris purchase it? She has every right to change her appearance but did she have to change mine? I seem to have also gotten a few big crimson streaks on my shirt so, figuring it's better to be wet than red, I remove the shirt, wash those parts of it, wash my face, put the shirt back on and depart.

Stop #5: A Sav-On Drug Store. I go in and purchase a few items. At the checkout line, the cashier gives me the same odd look. Since I know I don't have lipstick all over my face, I ask her what's so odd. She says, "Your shirt." I look down and realize that I have misbuttoned my shirt. The top button is in the second buttonhole from the top and all the others are off one. It is embarrassing to realize that I am 53 years old and apparently unable to dress myself.

Stop #6: The Men's Room of the Sav-On Drug Store. I discover it's worse than I thought because when I tucked my shirt in back in the Men's Room of the Small Sandwich Shop, I got the shirt tail caught in the zipper of my pants. I zip it down and the shirt gets further ensnarled and then I can't move the zipper up or down. I spend a good five minutes in a toilet stall straining and grunting before I finally disengage shirt from fly. During this, others are coming in to use the urinals outside the stall and I can only imagine what they think is going on in there.

Stop #7: Electronics Shop #2. I ask a salesguy if they carry wireless headphones. This salesguy gives me the same odd look as the salesguy at the first Electronics Shop. I ask this one why he's looking at me that way. He says, "Nobody uses wireless headphones any more." I think from now on, I stay home and order everything through Amazon. Including my small sandwiches.

It has now been one month since I notified the Internet Movie Database that they've given me a credit for something that my friend Earl Kress did. They still have me listed for it.

Glenn Greenwald writes a weblog post that nails what I think is wrong with defenses of the Bush administration's warrantless spying.

This e-mail came to me the other day and I get one very much like it about once a week lately. I thought I'd answer this one in public…

I'm a screenwriter and I've been developing a new science-fiction idea that has comic book overtones. Given that Hollywood seems interested in comic books these days, I thought what I ought to do is to sell my idea as a comic book first. That might make it more appealing to the studios and it would also enable me to copyright the material in my name before entering into negotiations with them, which would give me a more favorable position. Can you recommend any artists or publishers that I can contact to make a comic book come about? And does this sound like a good way to go about marketing my idea?

No, but bad ways sometimes succeed, too. By that I mean that Show Biz is full of flukes and unlikely turns — I call it the Conan O'Brien Rule — and it's possible to go about things via the illogical, unprecedented way and have it turn out well. It's also possible to strike oil if you go out in your back yard in spiked shoes and jump around but it might not be the best investment of your time and energy.

What's wrong with your plan? Well, first off, getting into comic books is not easy. There are a lot of good folks who are interested in doing comics not as loss leaders for movies but because they actually wish to make their careers in that field, and they haven't been able to swing it. For a novice, "breaking in" can be a heckuva lot of work. I'm not sure you want to expend that much effort to establish yourself in a field that you don't really want to be in for very long if you can help it.

Second point: Publishers these days are well aware of the financial benefits of selling a comic book to the movies — that's the only reason some of them are publishing at all — so you probably won't be able to get a deal where you totally control the movie rights. Most likely, getting your idea issued as a comic book will mean taking the publisher on as a partner, and some will not be content to be silent partners. Some, in fact, will insist on controlling those movie rights. That could wind up working for you but it doesn't seem to be what you're after here.

There are two possible exceptions to the above Second Point. One is if you walk into the publisher's office with fabulous credits and contacts in Hollywood. I mean, if Kevin Smith wanted to make the kind of deal you're talking about — and was willing to cut the publisher in on the potential bonanza in films and video games and such — he could swing it. His name would help sell the comic and his clout would help sell the movie. I'm assuming you don't have the rep of a Kevin Smith.

The other possibility is if you're willing and able to deliver a finished comic to the publisher with a very low advance and to take your main compensation as royalties and profits. Assuming the material seemed promising, some company might see a buck to be made (or at least, not lost) in just publishing with maybe a small share of any ancillary income. The problem with this option is that not only would you have to produce the comic for very little up front, you'd have to find an artist who would, too. Probably, you'd need more than one artist: A penciller, an inker, a letterer, a colorist, etc. The profits from most comics these days, if you're not a superstar creator or working on a superstar character, are not huge so it's tough to make the math work for everyone involved. It's doubtful you could offer your collaborators a high enough share to make their gamble seem worth it; not without working some sort of Max Bialystock scam.

All that said, there is something to your idea. A comic book can be a very good sales tool for a movie or TV project. Jack Kirby used to insist that any comic he'd done was a blueprint for a movie, and it's much easier to sell an idea when you can hand someone a blueprint. The trouble is that it's tough to get a good blueprint without being able to pay decent money for an architect.

Did you know that there are companies that sell your cell phone records? That someone can plunk down around a hundred dollars and get a record of every call you've recently made from your cell phone? Take a look.

Hey, guess what I get to do at the WonderCon in San Francisco in a couple of weeks! I get to interview Noel Neill, who played Lois Lane on the George Reeves Superman TV show. I'll be hosting a whole batch of panels and they'll all be fun and interesting, but I'm really looking forward to sitting down with Miss Lane Ms. Neill. (See? I get them confused.) There have been fancier adaptations of comic books, including others of The Man of Steel, with actual budgets. Still, there was something riveting about that series and it had to have been the acting. It certainly wasn't the special effects. Noel Neill was among the folks who made it all work, and I'll be talking to her about that and about her other roles in film and television.

Info on WonderCon can be found here. A full schedule of programming will appear there shortly and I'll be telling you here about the other ones I'm doing.

I tried to watch a little of the Alito confirmation hearing today, which just shows me that I'm not as smart as I think I am…or something like that. Hard to say which of the three was the most boring: The Democratic Senators giving long, pontificating preambles to hardball questions that Alito was not about to answer, the Republican Senators giving long, gushy prefaces to softball questions that he welcomed, or Alito saying nothing of interest in response to either. I always feel these things insult our intelligence by pretending there are open minds where none exist. The Senators all know how they're going to vote, which will be pretty much along party lines. (I saw Orrin Hatch on MSNBC. I think Alito could have confessed to strangling cocker spaniel puppies and Hatch would be saying what a fine, admirable man he was.)

And Alito knows how he's going to vote on most of the important issues that will come before him. I mean, come on. The guy's a judge. Even I have an opinion on Roe versus Wade and I write cartoon shows for a living.

Years ago in a bout of the same masochism that once caused me to eat at a Denny's Restaurant, I watched most of the Clarence Thomas hearings. I don't know why I did it…just hoping for a moment of honest candor that never came. Didn't hear it from the Senators of either party, didn't hear it from the nominee. I still don't know about Anita Hill but she wasn't aspiring to a lofty position in our government so she didn't matter as much. What I think I was waiting for was for some Democrat to say, when it was his time to speak, "Judge Thomas, all this crap about what you said to someone about privacy rights in a law lecture twelve years ago is irrelevant. The president nominated you for this position because he thinks you'll advance his Conservative agenda. I intend to vote against you for precisely that reason. Thank you. I'm done." Ted Kennedy, Joe Biden and all the rest could say that today to Alito but it wouldn't get them as much camera time.

Tonight on IFC (Independent Film Channel), they're running Comicon Chronicles: IFC News Special. I haven't seen it but my TiVo, which never lies to me, describes it thusly: "Comicon Chronicles takes you to the Convention Floor to walk amongst the fans, see the scene through their camera's eyes and reveal the truth under the cartoon." I guess that means lots of shots of people in silly costumes. On my satellite dish, it airs tonight at 9:30 PM and again tomorrow morn at 5:00 AM. If you're on the East Coast, you may need to add three hours to those times.

On January 22 at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, those of us who were privileged to know Hamilton Camp will converge on the Improv in Hollywood for a memorial service and folks will tell stories about how much they loved him. Hamilton was an outstanding actor, folk singer, voiceover artist and human being…and those are not listed in their order of importance.

My pal Vince Waldron is helping assemble a video that will highlight some of Hamilton's many on-camera appearances and help is needed. He needs any good video of the man performing but especially a nice scene from the legendary sitcom, He and She, and footage of Hamilton singing with his old partner, Bob Gibson. The team of Gibson and Camp appeared on a number of music shows of the sixties — probably Hootenanny, maybe Shindig or The Music Scene or one of those. If you can be of assistance, drop Vince a note at ag644@yahoo.com. Obviously, this is for a very good cause…to honor a very good man.

Now that he's mentioned it on his weblog, I guess it's okay to post here that my friend Bob Greenberger has been let go from his editorial position at DC Comics. Bob is one of the good guys and it's sad to see him going through this, even though I have no doubt he'll quickly find another gig. It'll be a big loss for comics if it's in some other field because the industry needs people like him.

As we all know, Pat Robertson is in the news again for saying something stupid and insulting. Question: When is Pat Robertson in the news without saying something stupid and insulting? Would we even know this guy exists if he didn't say something stupid and insulting every few months?

Is it possible that it's all just a "notice me" thing? Someone runs into Robertson's office and says, "Pat! We just did a Nexis search and it seems you haven't been mentioned in any of the major news outlets for six months."

Pat says, "Oh, can't have that. I'd better go out and say something stupid and insulting. Have you got anything?"

And the other guy pulls out some papers and says, "I had the boys draw up some suggestions. The ones marked in red are the ones we're sure will get you in every late night monologue on television."

Pat scans the list. "Hmm…this one about Jews having big noses isn't bad. The one about God smiting Ted Kennedy by enlarging his head is good but it needs more work. And what's this one about Him destroying the NBC prime-time line-up because some of their shows are too permissive? I did something very much like that with Hurricane Katrina."

How about something like…this is just off the top of my head…Ariel Sharon's illness being caused by dividing the Holy Land? No, wait. That's too nasty…"

"Hold on," Pat says. "I think you may be on to something."

Rich Lowry on the Abramoff scandal. You'd never know it from some of the news reporting but it would seem that no Democrat took money directly from Jack Abramoff, whereas plenty of Republicans did. On the other hand, a lot of Democrats took "Abramoff-related money," mostly in the form of campaign donations from companies that were Abramoff clients. That's not quite the same thing but it doesn't mean some Democrats didn't accept money that had a quid pro quo attached.

There are websites that list the financial contributions that our lawmakers and government officials have accepted. I'd like to see one that lists the amounts, the source and all "favors" that were done for that donor. I assume there must be some websites that index this information on a bi-partisan basis but I haven't come across one.

I happen to think that most of the proposals for "campaign finance reform" are so full of loopholes (and sometimes, assaults on my right to support the candidate of my choice) as to be meaningless. Newt Gingrich, who knows a thing or two about ethical violations, is proposing that there be a law against fund-raising events in Washington, D.C. Uh, wouldn't that just mean that they'd move them the four miles to Arlington? The only thing that will stop this kind of thing is if citizens get mad about it and start voting people out of office for conflicts of interest. Right now, we don't seem to care enough to cause someone to lose an election.