Monthly Archives: April 2009

An early, unfinished copy of the new Wolverine movie has apparently been making the rounds of the Internet, downloaded by many…including a Fox News columnist who wrote and released a review of it. He was promptly fired for "promoting piracy," which makes sense. He might also have been faulted for reviewing an unfinished, unreleased work…which is unethical even if you come by a copy honestly.

I don't altogether understand the mania of those who can't wait for a movie, who have to have it a few weeks early even if it means going to all sorts of trouble to obtain a bad or incomplete copy. I can't think of a single movie that would ever prompt that yearning in me. Matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. If I care at all about the project, I want to wait until I can experience it in its proper form and presentation.

When Monty Python's Life of Brian came out, a friend who worked on the advertising campaign gave me an advance copy — on 3/4" video cassettes, which I could play since I had a machine that played those. He didn't, which is why he gave them to me. Some friends came over and we brought in pizza and made an evening of it…watching a copy that was a little too dark on the TV I owned then, which had a 19" screen. We enjoyed the film but did no backflips. That was not the way to see it, I later realized. The advance copy was also missing a few scenes that were in the final release and must have included some that weren't, since it was around ten minutes longer.

A month later, I realized what I just said I realized. It was the weekend Life of Brian was formally released and I took a date to see it at a theater in Westwood. That was the way to see that movie. I loved it but felt sure I would have loved it even more had the advance copy not diminished many of the best moments for me. In hindsight, there was a childish feeling of privilege because we got to see the movie before anyone else we knew…and it wasn't worth it.

Obviously, there's a legal wrong in bootlegging material like this…in spreading or even just receiving stolen goods. There's also the downside for the audience in having the film spoiled a little or a lot. And there's one other thing: It's just unfair to the filmmakers. They offer their work for public consumption and once they release a movie, it's fair game for everyone to review it and say it's great or that it sucks moose or whatever. But before they release it, it's theirs in that sense. It ain't finished. It's like sneaking a peek at a novelist's working draft before he's ready to show it to anyone. I don't particularly want to see anything until the person creating it declares it's done, or at least until they decide it's far enough along to invite public inspection. It's not good for me as a consumer and it's not good for those who create what I consume.

My body seems to be catching up on sleep I missed last October or something. I woke up this morning at 10:46 — a bit of a jolt since I had to be someplace at 11:15. Somehow — don't ask me how — I showered, dressed and got there by 11:20.

The event was a lovely memorial/celebration brunch recalling Page Cavanaugh, the great entertainer who passed away last December. My pal Leonard Maltin emceed artfully, introducing film clips and a parade of Page's friends and colleagues. There were many wonderful moments but I'll only mention two. Michael Feinstein performed a couple of Page's favorite tunes and Peter Marshall (yes, the master of the Hollywood Squares) sang, "This is All I Ask," in a powerful but touching voice that sent chills through the room. We all sure left with a sense of how loved and respected Page was and still is. It was well worth rushing out of the house to be there for it.

Dick DeBartolo, who's been writing for MAD since before Alfred E. Neuman's front tooth fell out, is selling DeBartolo books and other goodies over on his website. But what may interest you more is that he's posted a poster that was prepared for an upcoming issue of MAD but omitted because by the time it could reach the stands, its topic will be old news. It's a funny piece spinning off the great Milton Bradley game, Operation…otherwise known as The Bush Health Plan.

The theater is full of superstitions, traditions and honors. One that qualifies in all three categories is the Gypsy Robe, which is presented every time a new show opens on Broadway. Unfamiliar with this custom? Well, this article will fill you in.

There was nothing wrong with the Meatballs and Mozzarella Lean Pockets®. They did not require a "New and Improved" version…especially a "New and Improved" version that tastes like old house slippers.

Some are saying that the way the process works in Iowa, the soonest that the voters there could possibly outlaw same-sex marriage is 2012. That means three years of gays getting married and three years of those marriages not undermining the very structure of society and destroying conventional marriage.

Perhaps a majority of Iowans today would like to see same-sex wedlock outlawed. Will they in '12? After all those couples have been happily married for years? After other states have legalized gays getting hitched? After mixed-sex marriage has been in no way damaged and after The Lord has not shown his wrath by smiting the state of Iowa with locusts and plagues? I wonder…

I've long held that the folks fighting gay marriage may not know it but they're not working to abolish it…only to delay it. Nate Silver crunches the numbers and shows how things are moving in that direction.

Disney is laying off people left and right at its theme parks. Several Dwarfs have been let go and believe me, they're not Happy.

I know the economic news is not all bad but the part that is bad is bad enough to drown out the good. Still, I would like to suggest that today's dire Disney news may not be wholly the fault of the usual villains — the deregulation nuts who let Wall Street go Ponzi. Yeah, they crashed the Dow but one reason Disney revenues are down is because in times like these, people can't afford to pay Disney prices. Las Vegas is dropping its prices sharply since they figured out how tight recreational moola was becoming. Disneyland is just Vegas with mouse ears and bad food. They need to learn the same thing.

Vince Waldron sets my mind a little at ease on the Spector verdict. Deliberations were suspended this week due to an ill juror. There have also been some court holidays in there…so they've only spent one full day and two half-days arguing over Spector's culpability. I would think it could all be decided in about the time it takes to make popcorn…but at least they haven't been in there for a whole week..

If you want to get married, all you have to do is move to that hotbed of homosexual activity…Iowa.

It's worrying me that the Phil Spector jury is deliberating this long.

Greg Ehrbar alerts me to another one of those great BBC radio programs (uh, programmes) that you might want to hear. It's an hour documentary on The Ed Sullivan Show and it features, among other interviewees, Joan Rivers, Shecky Greene, Jackie Mason and the Amazing Carl Ballantine. I haven't listened to it yet but I'm not going to wait to tell you about it. It will only be online for a few more days. Thanks, Greg.

Here's a Head's Up. Saturday evening, Turner Classic Movies is running Real Life, a 1979 comedy starring Albert Brooks and directed by him. You ever see it? If not, you ought to. Brooks plays himself, a young filmmaker out to make a documentary about a typical American family, following them around and capturing their lives. PBS had actually done a TV series along these lines and that's what Brooks was spoofing. But the film is even more relevant with reference to the kind of "reality" shows we've had in recent years.

Brooks's film was not particularly successful. Possibly, its sense of humor sailed over a lot of moviegoers' skulls. Possibly, the dislikability of Albert and an uncomfy ending kept audiences away. I don't love it but I admire the hell out of it…and there are some wonderful moments, mainly in the first half hour. Charles Grodin is also quite wonderful as the head of the family whose lives are disrupted by the intrusion of Brooks and his cameras.

Catch it if you haven't seen it. Once again, it's this Saturday. It's on at 6:30 PM on my satellite dish but it may be some other time where you are. You can see the trailer over here and it's pretty funny but it has almost nothing to do with the movie.

And while you're setting your TiVo (or if you insist, VCR) for that, you might be interested in this. Early Saturday, TCM is running Zenobia, the 1939 movie that Oliver Hardy made without Stan Laurel but with Harry Langdon. Here's a little piece I wrote about this oddment. Also, Saturday evening after Real Life, they're running Best in Show, followed by This is Spinal Tap but you've seen both of those.