So last night around 1 AM, I decided to bake a potato in my microwave. Fortunately, I had a pre-scrubbed, plastic-wrapped Microwave-Ready Russet Potato handy. Even though I've done this many, many times I decided to open up the little instruction pamphlet and see what it had to say.
And there I saw the problem: The label says "Oven baked taste in 7-8 minutes" but the instructions inside say to "Microwave in wrap for 10-11 minutes on HIGH." Which is it, Kroger people? And why are you teasing us with the outright lie that we can taste the oven baked taste in 7-8 minutes when it's going to take 10-11? I split the difference, left it in for nine and it came out a tiny bit overcooked but still edible. 7-8 would have been about right. If I'd left it in 10-11 like they said, I would have wound up with a softball.
Plus, my potato did not whistle. My potato never whistles. Every time I microwave one of these, no matter what the brand, the label tells me "Potato may whistle in microwave" so I eagerly listen, hoping to hear a happy tune. I hear nothing. It doesn't even hum a little. It just bakes. I trust there are potatoes that whistle. Why do I keep getting the non-musical ones?
Many things in this world that lie to you and disappoint you. You'd think you could at least trust a Microwave-Ready Russet Potato…but no.