Yearly Archives: 2013

We have another installment of Jerry Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. In this one, Don Rickles and Jerry go to Factor's Delicatessen and get the same waitress I get when I go to Factor's. And I challenge anyone to figure out the route Seinfeld takes from the Beverly Hills Hotel to Factor's. He seems to go down the same stretch of San Vicente at least three times. What a hockey puck.

How do you get a Tony Award? Well, in some cases, by buying it.

From a 1968 episode of NBC's Kraft Music Hall: Groucho Marx roasts Johnny Carson. One gets the feeling Mr. Marx didn't see the script until about five minutes before the taping but who cares? It's Groucho. The man seated next to Johnny is John Lindsay, who was then the Mayor of New York.

This is the first of a bunch of messages I'm going to quote here and rebut discussing what Jay Leno supposedly did that was so wrong when he took back The Tonight Show. This first one is from Jeff Stockwell…

During the Leno/Conan fiasco the gripe that I had was: Leno agreed to the contract that had him leave The Tonight Show at a pre-determined time and turn it over to Conan. I personally don't think Conan was given enough time to get his sea legs and build his audience. However, that's a point that can be argued. NBC decided Conan wasn't working and wanted to get rid of him. That's fine…it's their house.

While I don't think Leno was conniving, backstabbing, or any other such adjective, I do think his actions were dishonorable. I think Jay should have refused to go back to The Tonight Show. "If you guys want to fire Conan, that's your decision, but don't drag me into this. I left of my own accord. It's a tough job and he should get a chance to build his audience. I had a great run but I'm off to do other things."

I think NBC might have been reluctant to fire Conan if they didn't have the safety net of Jay Leno to fall back on.

I don't work in the entertainment biz at all, but that was my gut feeling the whole time it was going on. I don't think Jay is a sleazy guy, but I certainly don't think he's the stand up guy (no pun intended) that he is portrayed as.

Leno didn't "agree" to the contract that had him leave The Tonight Show. By all accounts, NBC guaranteed it to Conan before they went to Jay and told him he was out…or would be out in five years. Jay, NBC and Conan all tried to spin it like Jay was fine with it but not one person involved or around thought he wasn't pissed about it. He did not leave of his own accord. He was just gentlemanly about it.

Jay did leave The Tonight Show at the specified time and turn it over to Conan. Not only that but he handed him a show that was winning in the ratings and rather than make his final episode about himself, he had Conan on as his guest and turned most of the broadcast into a commercial to watch Conan on Monday. That's an awfully sporting way to treat the guy who got the job you wanted to keep.

Later on, when neither Jay's nor Conan's shows were getting decent ratings, NBC came up with this proposal to bump O'Brien's Tonight Show to 12:05 and insert a half-hour of Leno at 11:35. Some time ago here, I said I thought Conan would have been foolish to acquiesce to that.  I still feel that way but after discussing it with others and seeing how he's all but disappeared on Basic Cable, I'm less certain of that.  In any case, he could have agreed…and might have if he'd known there would be no offer from Fox. So he wasn't exactly fired there.

It's possible that if Jay wasn't around to go in at 11:35, NBC might have kept Conan there longer. Maybe, maybe not. And if they had left Conan on longer, maybe he would have gotten his ratings up…and maybe not. Every time a TV network axes Show A, it's based on an analysis of data and a projection that the show will not significantly improve its numbers and that they'll be better off with Show B in that time slot. Sometimes, clearly, they're wrong. But they make the swap and no one faults Show B for being in the on-deck circle, thereby making possible the axing of Show A.

I don't see that Jay had any moral or human obligation to turn down a job he wanted — and also put his staff out of work — so Conan could have more time to perhaps build up his audience. Conan did not say, when the whole thing started, "If you guys want to fire Jay, that's your decision but don't drag me into this," nor would anyone expect him to. He was offered a job that he wanted and he took it, same as Jay.

Or to put it another way: NBC decided to bump Leno from The Tonight Show because they had Conan. Later, they decided to bump Conan from The Tonight Show because they had Leno. That's pretty much the way it's always worked in television…and I would imagine in other industries, as well.

To be, as they say, continued…

…a lot of us will be down in San Diego for the first day of the 2013 Comic-Con International! Actually, a lot of us will be there the night before for Preview Night but next Thursday is the first full day and the Programming Schedule for that day is up! If you're attending the con, I suggest you study that schedule and jot down the times and room numbers of events you might like to attend. I'll post my list of panels after the con has their whole rundown online.

Actually, I suggest that if you're attending, you spend a little time at the con website. It's really loaded with useful information about how to get there, where to park, how to shuttle-bus to the con, where to eat, etc. I get asked a lot of questions about the con and at least half of them can be answered with a few clicks on that website.

My official weather forecast for the con calls for daytime highs of 70 to 73, evening lows of 68 to 65, about a 2% chance of any precipitation and a good mix of clear days and overcast. That's for outside the convention hall. Inside, I'm predicting massive crowds, serious noise pollution around the videogame dealers and a 70% chance of women dressed like Princess Leia.

Start packing. And I seem to have missed the window of opportunity for my annual joke about how if you need a place to park, leave now. That's only funny if you do that before it becomes serious advice.

Speaking of the Tony Awards two weeks ago as I don't seem to be able to stop doing, here's that piece of special material they did with Andrew Rannells, Megan Hilty, Laura Benanti and host Neil Patrick Harris. Funny spot…

Jeffrey Toobin on the Supreme Court and Justice Kennedy.

I hope the following doesn't sound morbid or in poor taste but I've always thought this country was asking for trouble by appointing Supreme Court Justices for life, thereby allowing the decision of when to bring in New Blood to hang on something as capricious as the health of old people. It seems to work out to something like one new justice every presidential term but one of these days, it won't. Someday, fate will work its wicked way and three or four justices will die or retire within a short span, thereby allowing one president — and maybe not even a popular one but someone who's on his or her way out — to utterly reshape the court for a long, long time with many appointments.

The party that doesn't control the White House at that moment will scream foul and say that in the interest of fairness and judicial balance, the president should appoint some candidates from their party…but he or she won't. His or her party will be drunk with power and feel that fairness demands they set the agenda for the next several decades. How do you think Republicans would feel if Obama suddenly had the power to replace Scalia, Thomas and Roberts? Or how Democrats would have felt if Bush could have replaced three from their side? And yet we leave it wide open for this to happen…

This is Old News and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of you skipped it —

— although I must say some of it may become New News again. I believe we're fast approaching the day when Jay Leno will be free of an NBC contract that prevents him from seriously dickering with another network to do a show once he departs The Tonight Show next February.

Whether he wants to is a good question. I've heard two people who are reasonably close to him say opposing things: That he wants another show a.s.a.p. to stay in the game and that he wants to retire from that game with his damn good track record. He's been consistently winning his time slot in all demographic areas, including the younger viewers. In fact, he's winning his time slot by a wider margin than Jimmy Fallon is winning his.

I've also heard all manner of theories as to what kind of deals, if any, will be seriously put before him. Some folks say none, he's too old for anyone to invest in. Jay will be close to 64 when he leaves The Tonight Show and even if he can win younger viewers for now, it can take many years to build a new franchise elsewhere. If you're a TV network, do you sink millions into starting a new business built around a guy who qualifies for Social Security?

Maybe. A number of people I know in the TV industry tell me there's no chance in hell Jay will get another series on any channel in more homes than C-Span3. Another number tell me with equal certainty that yes, of course he will. When else will any network have a chance to open a new time slot — late night or otherwise — with a star who has that kind of track record and is going off, as Jay probably will, in a solid first place? And I have it on good authority that some prospects have been dangled with as much dangling as his NBC deal allows.

Here's my infallible prediction: I don't know. Don't know if he wants another series. Don't know if anyone will offer him one. This is way too unprecedented for me to make a fearless forecast.

So I'm not going to write about that…now. What I am going to write about is something that's intrigued me since the Conan/Jay brouhaha went down. I spend a lot of time with friends in this business talking about ethics and manners and legalities and such. Jay got hammered a lot for either sabotaging Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show or reneging on some promise or somehow engineering a Machiavellian coup. Whatever, he came out of it all The Bad Guy in some eyes and I have never understood what people think he did wrong apart from the fact that his 10 PM show wasn't very good.

I asked here a few months ago and several of you wrote in with your takes on it. Over the next few days, I'm going to run one e-mail per day and offer up a rebuttal/defense of the guy. If the ancient history nature of it all bores you, just skip on to the next posting — which on this blog is usually an obit or a plug for Frank Ferrante. I'm just kinda interested in what people think Mr. Leno should have done differently…and in presenting an alternate view to what some critics of his actions seem to believe. I'll post the first one, which is from Jeff Stockwell, tomorrow.

MAD Magazine: Still awfully funny.

Here are The Golddiggers with a number that I believe is from their 1970 summer show on NBC, which was the one shot in London. I wish someone had complete videos of those programs because I remember Marty Feldman, who was part of the cast, doing some very funny sketches, often with Charles Nelson Reilly.

The song is "Something Special," which is from Georgy, a Broadway musical based on the book and movie, Georgy Girl. The show was directed by Peter Hunt and had a book by Tom Mankiewicz with, it is said, a last minute ghost-written rewrite by Peter Stone. (Hunt and Stone had just had a big hit with 1776.) There was music by George Fischoff and lyrics by Carole Bayer. Ms. Bayer became Carole Bayer Sager shortly after this show closed…which it did four days after opening in February of 1970.

The Golddiggers performed this number on an album they released that year and later in many other places. It may be the last remnant of the musical comedy, Georgy…

I mentioned recently that I was starting to kinda think Paula Deen was getting a raw deal. This brought a lot of e-mails from folks urging me to read this article that proved she wasn't or that article that proved she was. I'm afraid I can't generate the interest to click, read and formulate a firm view in this matter. I also can't bring myself to read enough about the George Zimmerman trial to have a suggestion of what should or will happen.

My sense of the latter when it occurred was that Trayvon Martin was this innocent kid and Zimmerman was this trigger-happy vigilante who was too eager to presume a black guy was up to no good and to force a physical confrontation. I'm not sure how much of that I got from the facts and how much came from reading online defenses of Zimmerman by folks who clearly had some racial distrust and maybe fantasies of being confronted on the street some day by dark-skinned hoodlums and blowing them away. Maybe that's not valid but I just don't have the energy to read all about this one and align my emotions with one side.

I find that lately, my distrust of most news reporting makes me wonder how much we really know about these matters. Back when I was way too interested in O.J. Simpson trials, I read a lot of articles and books that would have left me with false info 'n' impressions had I not read a lot more. My sense of the Zimmerman trial is that I couldn't or shouldn't read one or two articles about it and formulate a viewpoint; that I need to read a lot and compare and contrast and mull for my view to have much validity. And I don't think I want to commit that much time or interest.

Not that it's unimportant. It's probably a very important trial whose outcome will matter a lot to this country. But it is unimportant that I, as one individual, have a strongly-held opinion about it. I'm not on the jury.

As I read news on the web and watch CNN or MSNBC or Fox, I see people who are constantly urging me, directly or indirectly, to take sides on every matter. Some of them desperately want me to take their side but they all want me to care about every single thing they report on. And I can't. I just can't.

Longtime readers of this blog are sick of me plugging my pal Frank Ferrante, who tours in his stunning re-creation of You-Know-Who called An Evening With Groucho. It's Frank and his highly-talented, long-suffering pianist Jim Furmston on a stage for close to two hours…and by the time Frank sings "Lydia the Tattooed Lady," you will long since have forgotten that you're not seeing the one, the only Groucho miraculously back among the living. The guy is really that good.

When he played in Southern California recently, I promoted it and told you it was the last time you'd be able to see him in these parts for a year or more. Well, I lied. Or more accurately, plans changed. Frank will be doing one performance the evening of Saturday, July 27 at the Pasadena Playhouse, which should be an ideal venue for his show. I dunno if I'll be able to make it but if you can, you should. Details and tickets are to be found on this page. Highly, as always, recommended.

Folks around here are upset (and understandably so) about an incident that occurred the other day down in Hawthorne, which is about ten miles south of where I live. A man named Leon Rosby was walking his pet Rottweiler and he happened upon a crime scene. He put the dog in his car. Police officers ordered Rosby to turn down a loud radio he was playing and when he didn't comply, they handcuffed him. Rosby had some history with the cops and one recognized him and considered him a "troublemaker."

When they started to lead away his master, the dog leaped out of the car and began barking and snarling at the officers. One of them then drew his gun, fired several times and killed the dog…

…and a neighbor recorded the whole thing on video. (I'm not going to link to it. It's not hard to find if you have some desire to view it and I'm kinda sorry I did.)

All the newscasts I saw said something like, "This was the worst thing you could ever see." Personally, I can think of worse things…like, say, if police had killed a human being instead of a dog. They do that too, you know. But killing that dog was still pretty awful. You have to wonder: Wasn't there something else they could have done there? I'm also wondering if the officer would have been as quick to do that if he'd realized it was all being caught on video.

I have to own up to a slight prejudice here. I've had some bad encounters with dog owners who were utterly blind to the fact that their dogs aren't well-behaved children who never do anything wrong. It's bad enough when those well-behaved children crap on your lawn but several times in my life, I've been attacked or injured by dogs — once, enough to require professional medical treatment — by dogs who should have been kept on a tighter literal or figurative leash by their owners. And in every case, I blame the owners. My first reaction is to blame the owners.

The most recent time was two or three years ago. Earl Kress and I were over at Farmers Market, just walking somewhere. From out of nowhere, a dog — and it may have been a Rottweiler — ran up and for no visible reason, biting at random, sank his teeth into my arm. I had on a heavy jacket and he didn't break the skin but it was still rather startling and disturbing. Moments later, a woman appeared to grab his leash and I heard a lot of "He never does this kind of thing" and "He's a good boy" and the one I really liked…"He didn't mean it." I wanted to say to her, "How do you know? Maybe he loves the Spirit comic book and doesn't like what Sergio and I are doing on it!"

I wasn't hurt but there were bare-armed, bare-legged children all around and if the pooch had gone for one of them instead of me, something pretty horrible would have happened. What annoyed me most about the incident was the woman's attitude that she was in no way responsible for what her dog did, no matter where she took him.

Getting back to Hawthorne: Killing that dog was just terrible. Rosby should have put the window of the car up far enough that the dog could breathe but couldn't get out…but that's not a capital offense, punishable by executing the Rottweiler. Hawthorne Police are said to be "investigating" and I expect that they'll wind up pointing to something in a manual that says what that officer did was utterly according to procedure. At worst, he may have decided a bit prematurely that the dog was dangerous but he had to be trusted to make that call.

I wouldn't expect anything more to come of it except Rosby suing the police and worsening of the already-bad relationship the force there has with the citizens of Hawthorne. Oh, and I'd imagine the officers down there are being told, "If you need to draw your gun or rough someone up, make sure there's no one around who has a video camera and a YouTube account!"

This is an amalgam of two clips I posted earlier — the video of the opening number at this year's Tony Awards, plus the video of director Glenn Weiss in the booth, calling shots at a mad pace. Most TV directors go through their entire careers without ever doing something like this on live television with but one chance to get it right. I think Mr. Weiss did an astounding job. Everyone who worked on that number did.

Watching the two videos in sync, you may get an idea of what a TV director did in the old days…and does now in fewer and fewer instances. Very few shows are live these days and when they aren't, it seems to make sense in most instances to just record the feeds from all the cameras and then select the shots later when they can take their time and try many different combinations. Weiss obviously had all his shots carefully planned during the number and he had his script marked to indicate to cut to Camera 4 on this word, Camera 7 on that word, etc.

But when they hit the end of the song, the cameras are deployed to get certain shots of the stage and audience during the applause — which I think went on a lot longer than they'd expected — and that's when Weiss starts ad-libbing, looking at what his cameraguys are giving him and making split-second decisions. I'll bet he wishes he'd cut back to Neil instead of to that audience shot of Megan Hilty so he could have gotten Mr. Harris's line — "Well, that's our budget" — completely on-screen but other than that, I don't see a single misstep in the whole thing…

Twenty famous lines from movies that most people misquote. And Oliver Hardy usually said, "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into," not "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into!"