Hey, whatever happened to my old pal, Jeff Altman? Well, he married a lady from Raleigh, North Carolina and they now live in Wendell, which is right outside Raleigh. Jeff was and I'll bet still is one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life, though lately he's been focusing on one of his other skills, sleight-o'-hand magic.
One night last century, we were backstage in the big room of the Comedy Store. Jeff was waiting to go on, which meant waiting for another comedian to finish. The gent who was on stage was a fairly well-known comic who Jeff thought was unfunny and undeserving of his rep. I kinda agreed but it didn't bother me half as much as it seemed to bother Jeff.
As the fellow on stage concluded, Jeff said to me, "You got a stopwatch on your watch? Time me and yell out when five minutes are up. I'll get more laughs than that guy did in his whole twenty-minute set and I won't say a word." Okay, fine. I took a position at one side of the stage as Jeff was introduced.
He went out there and did five minutes of wordless physical comedy — making faces, contorting his body, doing pratfalls, doing silly walks that put John Cleese's to shame, etc. It was one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life and the audience concurred. I was laughing so hard I almost forgot to keep track of how long it was going on but at the proper moment, I yelled, "Time!" And Jeff immediately assumed a dignified stance and manner, took the mike and said, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Jeff Altman and I'm from Syracuse, New York." He got a standing ovation then and there.
He was not only funnier than the guy who preceded him but he was funnier than anyone else who was on that stage that night. And I've seen him do cards too. He's great. Here's where he is these days…