I continue to work my way through major fast food eateries and my experiences and opinions…
Chick-fil-A presents a bit of a moral dilemma. I first tried it years ago back east, back before the company had many outlets in Southern California. I liked their basic chicken sandwich a lot. Didn't like their chicken soup. Didn't like their chick-n-strips. Didn't think their fries were so hot. But I liked their signature chicken sandwich and I liked it more than the knock-off/clone McDonald's began serving as Chick-fil-A began becoming a serious competitor.
But then you had the politics of the company…or at least of its president. As I understand it, the company used to reflect the anti-gay views of its prez, Mr. Cathy and donate to anti-gay causes. At some point, they stopped doing that and issued some statements about respecting everyone and being an all-inclusive force…but he still espouses the same views and backs them with personal donations. Should that bother me? I dunno. I'll bet I give my money to lots of companies with presidents who feel that way and don't make an issue of it. I don't think buying or not buying a chicken sandwich should be a referendum on anything but that chicken sandwich.
I don't think most boycotts are very effective and that when they are, they often wind up hurting the wrong parties. If we could all band together, withhold our patronage from one particular Chick-fil-A and put it outta business, I don't think Mr. Cathy would be harmed in any meaningful way…especially if our protest drives folks who think like he does to eat more often at other Chick-fil-A outlets to show support. We'd only wind up hurting the employees at the one outlet we closed — and they didn't set the policy.
On the other hand, I can't pretend that the anti-gay stance doesn't bother me and does make me less comfy with the notion of going to a Chick-fil-A and getting one of those (admittedly) great chicken sandwiches.
Fortunately for my conscience, I have an easy way to avoid the issue for now. They've opened a lot of Chick-fil-A places in Southern California but the only one located where I routinely travel is at the corner of Highland and Sunset in Hollywood. I don't care about a company's politics. I don't care how wonderful their food is. I'm not navigating that intersection or trying to get in and out of that tiny parking lot for any meal. It could be a Five Guys that gives out hundred dollar bills free with every burger. I ain't eating there.
This spares me having to decide how I deep-down feel about Chick-fil-A and its politics versus its cuisine. One of these days, I may be in a situation — say if I was in an airport and famished — where I have to choose and I'll decide then. If the alternatives are Burger King or Carls Jr., I'll probably place poultry over principle and eat at Chick-fil-A. But maybe not 'til then.
Younger fast food fanciers may be stunned to learn that there was a time when KFC stood for Kentucky Fried Chicken. Even more amazing is that a decade or two before they decided to start hiding the word "fried," there was a time when KFC was really good. The late Colonel Sanders had a recipe and a method of chicken preparation that yielded a really tasty product. If you could start a new fast food chain and faithfully replicate that chicken, you could probably own the marketplace.
Alas, the guy with his face on the bucket sold his company — for what he soon realized was way too little. It's changed hands a few times since then and along the way, its sequential owners found way after way to cheapen the product and make it even easier for unskilled (i.e., cheap) labor to prepare. The chicken, last time I had it, tasted like dough that had been fried too long in fatty oil. It had a stale taste. When you look at the Nutritional Information, you think, "Gee…if I'm going to consume that many calories, I can eat something I'll like a whole lot more than that bad chicken."
That's what I thought when I gave it up for, probably, ever. To get me back, here's what would have to happen…
Someone new would have to acquire the company. Then he or she would have to make a commercial in which they came on and said, "I used to love KFC but jeez, it's been awful the last decade or two. I acquired it to put it back the way it was and I've fired all the people responsible for ruining what was once one of the great American delicacies. All I wanted was to get my hands on the Colonel's original recipe and I have and now we're going to make chicken so good, we're going back to calling it Kentucky Fried Chicken!"
Then and only then, I might try it again. I kinda hope no one does this, though. I'd probably wind up eating there too often.
With Domino's Pizza, I once had the same problem I have with Chick-fil-A — the politics of the owner. Domino's was founded and run for years by a gent named Tom Monaghan, who has spent zillions of dollars condemning those who practice contraception, abortion, homosexuality or anything else that disrupts his vision of the only way human beings ought to live. In the early eighties, there was a brief flurry of controversy in the press involving him and a lot of people stopped ordering Domino's Pizza because they felt like they were contributing to his cause of persecution against anyone who didn't fit his definition of a right and proper Catholic.
I didn't consider boycotting Domino's then because I'd never eaten a Domino's Pizza. But I was involved with the company…sort of.
They had a mascot then in their commercials…a little annoying guy called The Noid. Domino's had used some sort of corporate pressure to persuade CBS to at least develop a prime-time animated special of The Noid, and they hoped it could then maybe become a Saturday morning series, as well. Another writer had done a script but no one liked it at CBS and no one liked it at Domino's. It was tossed — I never read it — and I was called in to write a new script. I agreed…and then a few weeks later, headlines broke about Mr. Monaghan's campaigns and I was suddenly uneasy about doing something that could make him a lot of money.
But I did it and I did it as well as I could. CBS actually okayed it for production and I'm still not sure why it didn't happen. There was some sort of fight with CBS and Domino's and I think (note the emphasis) it went something like this…
The Domino's people read the script and said, "Great! Put in some overt plugs for our pizza and it's a go!" And the CBS people said, "No, we can't have any plugs for pizza in this. You'll have to be content that just putting the Noid on TV is enough of a plug for your company…and by the way, we'll be needing that money you said you'd contribute to the production budget so we aren't taking as big a risk on this thing, which is the main reason we agreed to do it." And then the Domino's people said, "Hey, we're not going to put up any money for this unless you work in a mention of our two-large-pepperonis for the price of one plus a large drink special…"
And somehow, the project was off and the show was never made. I'm not sure it was exactly that but it was something like that.
Before that happened, I was in a meeting with a gent named Buzz Potamkin, a fine producer who was set to produce the animation, and there were other folks there, as well. We got to talking about Domino's and everyone there admitted to being a little uneasy about the project and supporting the politics of Mr. Monaghan. Then someone said, "Look, we're not promoting his politics. At most, we're promoting his pizza." And I said, "Gee, I think I know his politics but I don't know his pizza. I've never had a Domino's Pizza."
Buzz said he hadn't, either…and then the three or four other folks present all admitted the same. None of us had ever had Domino's Pizza. It was about time to order lunch in so someone suggested we call Domino's. Buzz had an even better idea. He called his contact with the Domino's corporate offices and asked if there was any way he could arrange free pizza for us. The guy said, "Sure," and less than an hour later, we had about three times as much pizza as we could eat plus samples of all of Domino's side dishes and other goodies.
And boy, was it awful. We invited in people from the adjoining offices to share our bounty and a few of them (who'd tried Domino's) declined. But all of us in Buzz's office and the ones who did join us thought it was pretty bad pizza. Thereafter, as we worked on the Noid special, we were all less uneasy about bolstering Monaghan's anti-gay, anti-woman agenda than we were in perhaps causing people to eat that pizza. Ergo, none of us were that unhappy when the show didn't go the distance.
Years later, Monaghan sold off some or all of his interest in Domino's for a billion or two…to Bain Capital, the company Mitt Romney co-founded. By this time, Domino's had done something about a diminishing market for their product and improved the quality of their pizza by quite a bit. If they hadn't, there probably wouldn't have been a company there for Bain to acquire — because chains like Pizza Hut and Papa John's were growing, offering the same fast delivery as Domino's but of better product.
I had the improved version once or twice when it was brought in to other meetings and I found it edible and decent…but not as good as a half-dozen other places from which I could order. So I'll probably never order from Domino's but it's not the worst pizza I've ever eaten. It just used to be.
Three more of these in a day or three…