Robert Hegyes, R.I.P.

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Sad to hear of the death (by heart attack at age 60) of Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein on Welcome Back, Kotter.  My partner Dennis Palumbo and I put in a season as Story Editors on that series and also wrote a Love Boat episode in which Bobby was, by his own admission, grossly miscast.  In a way, he was miscast as Epstein, too.  The role as envisioned was that of a big, doesn't-know-his-own-strength dumb guy but when Bobby auditioned for one of the other roles (Barbarino, I imagine), the producers liked him so much that they changed Epstein to make him more like Hegyes.  It proved to be a wise move.  Audiences loved him.

I have no bad stories about Bobby Hegyes.  I don't think I'd tell them just now if I did but honestly, I have none.  He was very dedicated to the work and very adept at dealing with the last minute script rewrites we threw at the cast.  There was much tension around that series and grand feuds and arguments.  None of that involved Bobby.

I ran into him a few times after I left the show, including one time outside a theater where I'd just seen him play Chico Marx to Gabe Kaplan's Groucho.  He was a darn good Chico there…and to some extent on Kotter, as well.  I do recall him telling me that he was less interested in acting than he was in writing and directing, and I was glad to see he got to do a lot behind the camera, as well as in front.  He was good in both places and a very nice guy, as well.

Still More About Dick Tufeld

Obituary for Dick Tufeld. I still think people pay too much attention to his role voicing the robot on Lost in Space. That's fine but I'm more impressed by the thousands and thousands of TV and radio announcing jobs this man had.

Here's a link to another one. This is from the 1978 CBS Anniversary Special. They did a gathering of every CBS star they could round up and that's Dick Tufeld you hear introducing them as they enter. This was from a period when Dick was pretty much The Voice of CBS, doing about 80% of all their promos. Around the same time, he was also The Voice of Disney, doing most of the trailers for Disney movies until the job passed to Marc Elliot.

(For extra points: See if you can figure out how many stars in the CBS clip weren't actually there when they did the big walk-on and were taped at another time and edited in. I'll start you off with Bill Cosby and The Smothers Brothers. There are several others.)

The Gatekeeper Gets the Gate

Not long ago, we linked to an article about Eddie Brill who was the warm-up comedian for David Letterman and also the guy who scouted and recommended the booking of stand-up comedians for Dave's show. Certain things Eddie said about women in that job description angered some and it was announced yesterday that he's been relieved of his scouting/booking duties, though he will apparently still handle warm-ups.

A number of blog postings I've read about this have opined that Eddie should have lost that job because Late Show has had a pretty poor track record of booking good stand-ups. I think that's grossly unfair. As near as I can tell, Brill has been doing that part of his duties quite efficiently. The assignment, after all, is not to book great new stand-ups who'll have everyone talking about how funny they are. It's to find and suggest the kinds of comedians that Dave Letterman wants on his show. Those are not remotely the same thing.

As for his comments about women, I thought they were a bit off-the-mark but only a bit. He's right that there are a lot of female comics who try to act like men. He's wrong to the extent he was suggesting that all or most stand-up ladies are "inauthentic" because they do that. I can think of a lot of successful ones who don't: Rita Rudner, Janeane Garofalo, Kathleen Madigan, Paula Poundstone, Wendy Liebman…I don't think Kathy Griffin or Sarah Silverman fit that description and oddly enough, neither do a lot of openly gay women comics like Ellen Degeneres and Wanda Sykes. You may not think all of those ladies are funny but all of them could easily do five minutes on Letterman's show just as well as any male who's been on there. (Not that some of them would want to…)

Brill's comments really only drew fire because women like that are rarely booked with Dave — though Griffin is on tonight and may even talk about this if they'll let her. In any case, if women comics are being bypassed on the show, it might be because Mr. Brill never recommended many or it might be because Mr. Letterman vetoed those recommendations. It might even be because Dave never said — as Mr. Carson did once when TV Guide pointed out the gender gap in his bookings — "Hey, find me some female stand-ups." That led to Maureen Murphy and Victoria Jackson and a few other bookings and probably got Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show more often.

My suspicion here is that Eddie Brill is to some extent taking the fall for preferences from above. I also suspect that if Dave was upset about that N.Y. Times article it was mainly due to (a) the attention paid to someone who's supposed to maintain a lower profile and (b) the revelation that Brill has a side business charging up-and-coming comics to train them. It's not always an unacceptable conflict-of-interest for folks who are in positions to hire (or to recommend hiring) to accept money from those who seek to be hired…but it can make a lot of people very uncomfortable. If I were running a TV show, I would pay my casting people well but forbid them from doing that kind of thing.

Steverino 'n' Johnny

Quick: Name a show that was hosted by Steve Allen and later by Johnny Carson.

If you said The Tonight Show, you're right…unless someone wants to nitpick. Allen's version was only called Tonight, not The Tonight Show.

But there's another, inarguable answer and we have it today over at our sister site, Old TV Tickets.

Elisberg Strikes Again!

Each year, we have this ceremony called the Golden Globe Awards and each year, my amigo Robert J. Elisberg writes some version of his annual column on why the awards are even more meaningless than you think. Click on Bob's name in the previous sentence and read this year's screed and remember two things: (1) Bob is absolutely, totally correct and no one disputes his facts and (2) No one cares that these awards are a farce because they help sell tickets and lots of folks enjoy the party, as spectators if not attendees.

And I should also add (3) which is that some people just love getting awards so much, they like to pretend they mean a lot more than they do.

The Gatekeeper

A portrait of Eddie Brill, who does the warm-ups for David Letterman's show and books the comedians.

A lot of folks seem to lament that none of the current late night shows have the star-making power for comedians that Mr. Carson once had. I think that time has passed and is unlikely to return…and Johnny's show didn't even have much power in that area its last few years. People forget that when Carson's Tonight Show booked new stand-ups, it was one of the very few programs on TV that did that. He kind of had the "introducing new comedians" market to himself. Now, in the era of cable and Comedy Central and so many other shows, there are other avenues…and a hot new stand-up in the club circuit no longer has to wait a year or two until the late night bookers decide he's "ready."

Daily Discourse

Night before last on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart had Senator Jim DeMint on for one of those conversations that goes along and just when it gets interesting, it cuts off and Stewart says, "We're going to throw the whole thing up on the web." I have to remember not to watch those when they're on in truncated form and to wait until the next day and watch them online.

The one with DeMint was fascinating. The Senator said a lot of rational, common sense things that I suspect he said because of where he was and who was in the audience…things he would not say, and might in fact contradict in front of a Tea Party crowd. He also looked a bit embarrassed at times when he called for calmer rhetoric and then Stewart cited non-calm rhetoric from the book the Senator was there to promote.

Still, it was the kind of interview that no one else but Jon Stewart does, groping for common ground instead of barbecuing red meat and wrestling. And DeMint came off as less the demagogue and slave to those of great wealth than he usually does.

I thought of embedding the whole thing here but Comedy Central embeds are kind of screwy and can do odd things to your site. Mine has had enough tsuris lately so I'm just going to give you this link to go to their website and watch the entire conversation. Both parties frame their positions in ways you never hear on MSNBC or Fox. It's so odd that you have to go to a comedy show to hear a political discussion between two people acting like human beings.

I only caught a little of Stephen Colbert's presidential announcement last night but it seemed to be a brilliant slam at the notion that a candidate's non-coordinated Super PAC is an independent entity. As I understand, Colbert can't really run for President on the South Carolina ballot. It's too late to get his name on there and the state doesn't count write-ins. But he can sure milk the effort for material.

Hi, Bob!

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It is now possible to advance-order the DVD set of the TV series, Bob…which, by the way, turns out to be the most difficult TV show ever to locate on an Internet search engine. It comes out April 3, they say, and you can lock in Amazon's lowest price between now and then by clicking here. If enough of you order via that link, I might make enough in commissions to purchase my own copy. It's annoying when you have to cough up money to buy a copy of something you worked on but you usually do.

Today's Video Link

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Speaking of things coming out on video: I had a little something to do with Bob, the short-lived (1992-1993) sitcom in which Bob Newhart played a comic book artist. Some sites will tell you I created it but that's not at all so. As you can see in the opening titles below, that credit belongs to my friends Bill & Cheri Steinkeller and Phoef Sutton, and I suspect that if they'd been able to do the show they wanted to do, it would have lasted as long as your average Bob Newhart series. I just wrote one episode and answered a lot of questions about the comic book business.

The comic book graphics, by the way, were done by artist Paul Power. My buddy Paul was often seen as an extra in the show, playing an employee of the comic book company for which Bob "McKay" worked and in the titles below, he stunt-doubled Mr. Newhart's drawing hand. At one point on the set, I heard Bob telling someone, "I can't draw anything" and I turned and told him, "I suspect you draw a very handsome salary."

This is all my way of mentioning that the complete series is coming out on DVD on April 3. Many of you may want this if only for the episode in which Jack Kirby, Bob Kane, Sergio Aragonés, Jim Lee and other real draw-ers of comic books made cameo appearances. Cute story: The filming schedule required these folks to be there a few days for rehearsals, which meant they had to sit around for hours while other scenes were staged. Sergio had a Groo deadline…and there were drawing tables on the set. So he brought along pages and sat on the Bob set and drew Groo, much to the fascination of everyone in the cast and crew. He also brought along a high-wattage light bulb to swap out in the lamps they had on those tables because for filming reasons, they had very weak lights in them.

I liked the series, at least during its first season before panic set in about the ratings and folks began mucking with its premise and adding Betty White to the show. If like most of America you never saw it, you might enjoy it, too. We don't have an Amazon link yet for this but I'll put one up when it's possible to pre-order it. In the meantime, here are those opening titles…

Lamb Chop's Mommy

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Thanks to Greg Novak, I just read (and you can read) this great piece by Matt Weinstock about the late Shari Lewis. She may well have been my first "crush" though as an amateur ventriloquist aged in single digits, I probably didn't realize it at the time. I remember feeling somehow it was wrong for a "girl" to be doing that kind of thing…especially doing it a lot better than I would ever be able to do it. I also recall an odd reaction when I saw her on an episode of Car 54, Where Are You? The premise was that she'd been fixed up with Francis Muldoon (Fred Gwynne's character) and he was around 6'6" whereas she was under five feet so romance seemed out of the question. I realized I had the same problem as Muldoon. At age nine I was already taller than she was or close to that, and a doctor had told my parents I'd easily top six feet. I hadn't particularly had any thoughts of marrying Shari Lewis but it was still jarring to have them dashed like that.

Apart from her first network Saturday morning show which was clever and funny, I never cared much for the material she performed but I liked her. We had one brief encounter on a show I worked on in the early eighties. She was kind of frantic owing to the demands of the performance she was there to do so it wasn't possible to talk much. That didn't happen until around ten years later when I was hired to write a pilot for a new Saturday morn series she'd pitched successfully to CBS. It was a cute idea. She would be the only human being in it — a strict, humorless school teacher. All of her students would be puppet characters, none of them (probably) voiced or operated by her. She wanted to find and train a band of younger puppeteers because it was to be a real generation-gap series in which, as per her concept, the teacher learns as much or more from the kids as they do from her.

We met a few times at her home in Beverly Hills where you were greeted in the front hall by a stuffed Lamb Chop doll that was taller than I was…and when she stood next to it, it seemed even taller. She did have a kind of "school teacher" air about her and she knew it. One of the amazingly self-aware things she said to me was that she had a tendency to talk to everyone, including folks older than she was, as if they were children. For the proposed series, she wanted me to write her that way — to make that a flaw of the character but to also capture the idea that she didn't "talk down" to people because she was arrogant but because she'd simply spent her whole life talking to children from that vantage point. That plus the passion she had for doing a show we could be proud of made me fall in love with her all over again.

Sadly, the project never went the distance. I hadn't even written the pilot script I was hired to write when the brass at CBS decided they could only have one live-action show on their Saturday AM schedule and it would be or would continue to be Pee-wee's Playhouse. Our series development came to a screaming halt and I felt sorrier for her than for myself. She told me she wasn't giving up; that her agents would shop it elsewhere…and I never heard another word about it. Months later when I ran into her at a video convention in Las Vegas, that show was a distant memory and she had several others in various stages, one of which she asked me to write. I said yes but it never happened.

A number of articles about Phyllis Diller's retirement have rightly argued for her importance as a woman who broke down barriers for others of her gender, succeeding in comedy when it was so overwhelmingly a man's world. Not taking anything away from Ms. Diller but I would also argue for Ms. Lewis. In 1960 when she did it, how many other women had starred in a network TV show with their name in the title? Okay, we can name a few. But how many of them didn't play a ditzy character who kept getting into trouble and needed a man to help bail them out? How many of them succeeded without ridiculing their own looks? How many of them even had an identity not as somebody's wife? And Shari wasn't just the star of her 1960 show. Playing Lamb Chop, Charlie Horse, Hush Puppy and the occasional other role, she was most of the cast.

She was a remarkable lady…and one deserving of wider recognition for what she did. Nice to see her getting a little.

Well, That Was Fast…

I am informed by many that the Sammy Davis clip I just posted is from The Julie Andrews Hour which aired on ABC on March 3, 1973. Ms. Andrews and Mr. Davis performed scenes from many Broadway shows so I guess they got the necessary permissions. Fiddler on the Roof had closed on Broadway by then so its producers were presumably not terribly fussy about allowing permission for it to be excerpted and performed by almost anyone.

Today's Video Link

Okay, where is this from? The fine chanteuse Shelly Goldstein sent me this link to Sammy Davis singing "If I Were a Rich Man" on some variety show, supposedly around 1969.

Point of interest: The original production of Fiddler on the Roof was still running on Broadway in 1969. It didn't close until 1972. There's usually a "grand rights" restriction on the usage of show tunes like this. You can't present them in anything resembling the context of the show without special permission from the producers of the show and that is rarely given while the show is still in first run. Right now, you could put on a ball gown and go on The Tonight Show and sing "Defying Gravity" and all you have to do is pay the royalty or have someone pay the royalty to Stephen Schwartz and the producers of Wicked. But you can't paint yourself green, put on a witch outfit and go up on a hidden elevator while singing it without a special o.k. because when you do it that way, you're doing a scene from that show.

So I want to know where this number was performed. I was thinking Sonny & Cher, partly because of the weird premise and partly because of the bad audience sweetening but they didn't go on until '71. Maybe it isn't '69 then. I also want to know if the producers of Fiddler on the Roof blessed it or were outraged or what.

Not that it's bad. Sammy was a great performer and his expressed desire to do a Black company of Fiddler was not as ridiculous as some might think. The show was very popular — and culturally relevant — overseas with a Japanese cast…so why not Black? And Sammy was, after all, half Jewish.

So…anyone know anything about this?

Today's Video Link

It's been years since I've seen one — I'm not sure they still do them — but I used to enjoy network preview specials. Each year, they'd do these little half-hour promos promising you that every show of the new season was sparkling and wonderful and sure to become a part of your life each week. And I guess I should have known this…but as I started working in the TV business, I learned that no one (repeat: no one) at the network ever thought that most of their new shows would be successful.

In the mid-seventies, my then-partner Dennis and I were doing Welcome Back, Kotter…and the same company (Jimmie Komack's) was producing a new series called Mr. T and Tina that starred Pat Morita. We were over at the ABC exec offices one day talking to folks in the comedy department about a pilot that we were being considered for as writers and someone there made a comment that they might want to hurry production up so that if the pilot came out right, the new show could go into the Mr. T and Tina time slot. In my naivete, I muttered something about, "Well, if it gets canceled…" and one could hear the ABC brass chuckle. As far as I recall, it was the only thing I said in the entire meeting that got a laugh.

As far as they were concerned, Pat Morita's program was already canceled. I'm not sure it was even on the air yet but there were zero people in the building who thought it had any chance of survival. Why had they even bought it then? Well, because they had to buy something. I don't recall the specific numbers but it went something like this. They had eight time slots that needed to be filled that September with new shows. They'd developed 14 contenders via pilots and presentations. They'd wound with five shows that anyone there thought had a reasonable shot at success. Ergo, they had to buy three stiffs.

How did they pick the three shows that no one liked? Sometimes, it was a matter of betting on a longshot but more often, it was a matter of nurturing relationships. Kotter was a huge hit for them at the time so they gave Komack the pickup to keep him happy and so he might be less inclined to take his next project to NBC. A few weeks later, Mr. T and Tina was indeed axed but until then, one had to marvel at the robotic hype…at the promotion and planted press reports that made it out to be the surefire smash hit of the new season. Several of the shows you'll glimpse in our video link below were probably in the same category: Canceled before they got on the air.

Years later, I was friendly with the main man who'd programmed CBS prime-time for several years. I asked him what percentage of the series he put on the air were shows that he knew would not make it. He said, "A third, I thought had a good shot at success…a third had an outside chance…and a third, we knew were flops by the time the second episode was delivered to us. Usually, we knew well before that." I asked him if any of the kinds of shows in the third category ever turned out to be surprise hits — for him or anyone else in his position. He said, "I'm sure it's happened somewhere at some time but I don't recall an example."

(Parenthetically, I also asked him this question: "How many times did it happen that someone walked in and pitched you a show…and you were 90% certain just from the pitch you had a hit there?" He said twice: Magnum, P.I. and the Newhart series where Bob N. had the inn in Vermont. That's twice out of several hundred presentations.)

I don't know that this happens as much these days. Networks are no longer committed to the notion that all the new shows have to debut in September, plus they order new shows in smaller increments. Still, I find it interesting to watch these old preview specials and to try and separate the shows into those three groupings that were just mentioned. Never mind which ones disappeared after 13 weeks. Which ones did they think might make it? This preview special is from 1979 and like everything else on ABC that year, it's narrated by Ernie Anderson. It's about a half hour in three parts which should play one after the other in the little player I've embedded here for you…

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Go Read It!

Here's a good, long profile in the New York Times of Stephen Colbert. It really is impressive how he is able to improvise so well "in character" as he does…to the point where some people out there actually don't understand it's a character.

Today's Video Link

Today on Stu's Show, your enthusiastic moderator Stu Shostak welcomes my buddy Vince Waldron, author of the best danged book there could ever be about the best danged sitcom ever, The Dick Van Dyke Show. Vince was on Stu's Show before but there was so much to talk about and they only got through about half past "It May Look Like a Walnut." Today, they resume their conversation.

Stu's Show is webcast live at 4 PM Wednesday afternoon. That's Pacific Time so if you're in the east, it's 7 PM and if you're in Kazakhstan, as so many fans of Stu's Show are, it's 6 AM the following morning. The show is supposed to run two hours but sometimes runs longer. You can listen in by going to the Stu's Show website at the proper time.

That's free. Shortly after the live webcast, each episode becomes available for downloading at the same place where the price is a measly 99 cents. While you're there, you might also want to buy Stu's previous episodes about my favorite situation comedy, including the one with Rose Marie and Larry Matthews, as well as Vince's earlier appearance.

Hey, what do you say we watch an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show? Yeah, I know you bought the DVD set but sometimes I embed just because I can. This is a complete one — complete with current commercials you'll have to sit through, though you can always do what I do, which is to minimize the window and try and solve an entire Sudoku puzzle while the ad plays.

I've selected "Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.," which is the one where the writers loaded a script with insults about their boss, Alan Brady, then accidentally sent it over to him without deleting the offending adjectives. The plot was reportedly based on a real-life incident where the writers on The Joey Bishop Show did a draft wherein they inserted their true feelings about Mr. Bishop and then had to scramble to get back a copy which wasn't supposed to have been sent to him. Here's what Carl Reiner and his merry band did with that premise…

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