Category Archives: Tweets

The latest G.O.P. threat to Obama: Extend the Bush tax cuts or we won't nominate Newt Gingrich. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Dan Quayle is endorsing Romney. Mitt has higher hopes of endorsements from random homeless people who talk to themselves. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

It's official: The Hot Pockets/Lean Pockets company has now "improved" each of the varieties I liked so I don't like any of them anymore. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Cain's Plan B: He's going to run for president of Uz-beki-beki-stan. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

This just in: Herman Cain to announce he's converting to Mormonism and will do the decent thing and marry all his accusers. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Looks like the Supercommittee has run into some serious Kryptonite. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Jerry Sandusky's charity to mentor young boys is closing up. Can't imagine what went wrong there. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Sorry to hear Ricky Gervais is back to host the Golden Globes. Now I have to watch and sit through all the lame non-Gervais stuff. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Newt's the frontrunner! To save time, Repubs are picking a candidate who comes pre-accused of treating women badly. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Isn't it chilling to think that by this time next week, you or I could be the frontrunner for the Republican nomination? — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Hard to decide who's more reprehensible in the Penn State scandal: The guy who was doing it or those who knew and did nothing. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

Jerry Sandusky faces 460 years in prison if convicted on all charges. That seems harsh to me. Half that is about right. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

The Academy should consider every possible Oscar host and give them all due consideration before they give it to Neil Patrick Harris. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

I have no idea how honest Herman Cain's new accuser is but she'd be a lot more credible with any lawyer who wasn't Gloria Allred. — [Follow me on TWITTER]

You ever notice how everyone who writes an obit for Andy Rooney tries to imitate his style? I can't stand that. — [Follow me on TWITTER]