My Tweets from Yesterday

  • This is the time of year when I remember my mother scurrying around the house asking, "Where are the good scissors?" 14:14:50
  • You get the feeling that if you told Wayne LaPierre that you'd lost your contact lenses, he'd tell you the answer was more guns? 16:56:11

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Where do I get one of those vehicles Alec Baldwin rides around on in the commercials and how do you lay the track? 12:51:54

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Many folks following the Fiscal Cliff negotiations seem shocked that a "compromise" might involve their side giving up something. 17:20:41

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • The rabid right thinks it's possible for John Boehner to trade a raise in the debt ceiling for a nullification of the last election. 12:27:31

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • I'm not scared of the world ending. I'm scared of people who think the world's ending. 15:49:59
  • To date, people who think the world is about to end have a 100% track record for being wrong. But they've sure done a lot of damage. 15:50:50

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • I think I need some special kind of insurance policy to protect me from insurance salespeople. 11:11:40
  • The Republican view of Health Care: Better you should expire than the Bush Tax Cuts. 22:00:24

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Newt says if Hillary wants to run for prez in '16, she can't be beaten. This is the same guy who claimed he'd won the GOP nomination. 11:48:21

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Sad to hear Dick Morris and Karl Rove will no longer be appearing on Fox News. Now, how will we know what's not going to happen? 18:25:25
  • Just had the most brilliant idea ever but when I typed it up, it somehow became stupid. Must be something wrong with my monitor. 21:47:16

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • I wish my business manager was named Clifford so I could start calling him "Fiscal Cliff." 19:29:37
  • Obama and Boehner are starting to sound like those two polite gophers: "After you." "No, after you." "No, I insist, after you"… 19:30:46
  • Obama's next offer to Boehner should contain a set of steak knives and include the phrase, "Plus, if you act now…" 19:33:50

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Defeated FL rep Allen West keeps comparing himself to Abe Lincoln and there is a similarity: Neither one will ever again be elected. 10:29:01
  • Hard to believe there are people out there who think we should feel real sorry for Mitt Romney. 18:27:58
  • Observe! In my next tweet, I will do the impossible and tweet something with more than 140 characters… 18:29:45
  • Mel Blanc. 18:29:53

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Former NBC exec Jeff Zucker named head of CNN, plans to replace Wolf Blitzer with Conan O'Brien. 08:35:46

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Facebook is claiming ownership of all unnecessary, hoax-driven copyright notices posted. Quick! Post a message that you own yours! 08:56:55
  • When I go to my bank's website and can't connect, I always wonder if they haven't all run off with my money. 18:07:29

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • I have a broken pipe and therefore raw sewage in my garage. Reminds me in there of when I owned a Mercury Sable. 19:27:49
  • Grover Norquist panicking since election. Demanding all Republicans sign new pledge to never raise marijuana. 19:49:51

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • To make my statement on this Black Friday, I've decided to boycott Twitter. Oh, wait. 09:23:23
  • Looks like because some folks said "Let's boycott Walmart on Friday" a lot more said, "Walmart won't be crowded Friday! Let's go!" 10:59:03