Category Archives: Uncategorized

I've written here in the past (here, for instance) about a great product called Jennie-O Turkey Pot Roast. This is a quick entree you keep in your refrigerator until the moment when you suddenly need to have a real dinner in a hurry. Then you pop one in the microwave…and fifteen minutes later, you have a steaming, delicious tub of moist dark meat turkey — and it's not just one meal. One package will last me for days.

I have also written here of my struggles to procure this product. For a long time, I got them at local Costcos. Then Costco stopped carrying them in my region…but fortunately, they turned up at the Fresh & Easy market chain. Then Fresh & Easy stopped carrying them. I spent many hours on the phone to both chains and to the Jennie-O people to try and figure out where, if anywhere, I could get more. One person at Fresh & Easy's corporate offices told me that what I craved was now a discontinued item that would probably never again be found in the refrigerator case of any Fresh & Easy store.

She was wrong. A few weeks ago, I made friends-over-the-phone with a high-ranking exec at the Jennie-O company and this much-smarter lady explained to me that production on this product, which had lessened for the summer months, was back full force. Apparently, it doesn't sell as well in summer so many stores don't carry it. But, she said, I would find them by this week in the Fresh & Easy stores…and sure enough, last night I scored four of them (about a month's supply) at one out in the valley. They should be back in some Costcos any day now, too.

Yay. If you haven't tried this product, you might want to give it a go. Some people use it like turkey carnitas and fold the meat into other, more ambitious recipes. I just put a glumph of dark meat turkey on a plate and have it with a side of rice or corn or something. A glumph, by the way, is more turkey than a splunge but not as much as a woomph. By any measure, it's a great and convenient meal.

Todd Klein is a professional letterer of comic books. He's kind of like the Cloris Leachman of the Best Lettering Trophy at each year's Eisner Awards. He is also a freelancer. Todd and artist Shawn McManus recently created an art print about freelancing which is quite clever and fine. So see it and order a copy. It's splendid.

I got busy with other topics and never finished reporting on my day at the Hollywood Show in Burbank on Saturday, October 8. Here, at long last, is the wrap-up…

My occasional employers Sid and Marty Krofft were there…and it was hard to talk with them because they always seemed to have a line of folks waiting to meet them and purchase autographs. They must have been doing good business because Sid was actually there the entire afternoon.

Sid Krofft has an actual super-power: The ability to disappear. He's very good at it. It's a power he only uses for good and only when he's genuinely not needed at a given moment. Actually, it includes the power to instinctively appear when he is needed but that's not the impressive part. There will be a problem and someone in the office or on the set will say, "Oh, if only Sid was here." Any magic words to that effect will cause Sid to miraculously walk in through the door within about two minutes and he will, of course, solve whatever the problem is. That all seems humanly possible.

It's when there's no problem and Sid isn't needed that he defies the laws of physics. He's there one minute and then you blink and suddenly — no Sid. Gone. Vaporized. Vamoosed. No one saw him leave, including those he'd have to pass to get out of the room.

When I first worked for the Kroffts, I was fascinated with many things each of them could do but this trick of Sid's really fascinated me. When he was around, I'd keep one eye on him and I'd sometimes try standing in the only door out of the room he was in. I thought, "I'm going to see how he does this. I am actually going to see Sid Krofft depart." But I never did. It was like watching water boil or viewing a great movie starring Rob Schneider. No one has ever done it and I was foolish to think I would be the first.

As I said, Sid and Marty must have been doing good business because Sid was still there when I left. But if I'd stayed around, I guarantee you I never would have seen him leave.

Near their table were the stars of ElectraWoman and Dynagirl, Deidre Hall and Judy Strangis. They did that on The Krofft Supershow for ABC Saturday mornings back in '76 and both women look fit enough to climb back into their costumes today. I had never met Deidre before but Judy and I go way back together.

About those costumes. When I was working for Sid and Marty in the seventies, they had a huge factory that made all the sets and props and wardrobe and puppets for their shows and also for many others. The costumes for the Banana Splits were made in that factory. So was scenery for various Vegas acts and movies and all sorts of show biz ventures. Their offices were there too and that's where I worked for them as a writer initially.

You ever been in a puppet workshop? It's bizarre. There are eyes staring at you from all directions…and limp characters you may have seen and known when they were "alive." There always seem to be a few puppets in disrepair, visible with body parts missing. And some that you're sure would start moving if you stared at them long enough.

I didn't hang around the puppet division too much but one route to the writers' offices involved going through the area where costumes were stored. There was a whole rack of the kind of headdresses that Vegas Showgirls wear — three or four feet tall with spangles and sequins and feathers. One of our writers (a guy) liked to wear one when he went to the stand across the street to get a taco. If he got any sort of odd reaction — and he always did — he'd say, "What's the matter? Don't you serve show people?"

Back then, I was dating a lovely lady named Bridget Holloman who worked as a dancer on Krofft shows and other programs, and one day I mentioned to her that the Kroffts' wardrobe department was throwing out a lot of old outfits that seemed to be no longer needed. She asked me to see if I could snag any that she'd worn…so one day when no one was looking, I slipped over to that part of the building and rooted around in a dumpster. In it, I found a couple items with Bridget's name on the tags but I also found one each of the old ElectraWoman and Dynagirl costumes. Deidre and Judy believed there were two Dynagirl suits made and three ElectraWoman outfits. Initially, two of each were fashioned — one to wear, one for a backup — but then there was an episode that called for an evil twin of ElectraWoman. That was an easy special effect: They just made an extra costume and had Deidre Hall's twin sister wear it.

I took the ElectraWoman and Dynagirl suits home and for years, they were in my closet. Every so often, I'd show them to friends and complain they didn't quite fit me. Actually, the ElectraWoman suit fit Bridget perfectly. She was quite a sensation once when she wore it to a Halloween party. Eventually, I gave the Dynagirl suit to Judy. The ElectraWoman suit is now part of a travelling museum of artifacts from children's television.

It was great to meet Deidre, who went on from that show to star on Days of Our Lives for many years. (Coincidence: Bridget had a recurring role on that series for a time.) And it was great to see Judy again. Both spent a lot of time at the show signing old ElectraWoman and Dynagirl merchandise (dolls, a board game, etc.) that they never even knew had been made.

Speaking of nice-looking ladies: Chuck McCann introduced me to (separately) Lesley Ann Warren and Erika Eleniak. Lesley has been one of my favorite actresses since I saw her steal every scene she appeared in in Victor/Victoria. Erika was one of the stars of Baywatch among her other endeavors and she's the niece of my old friend, the late Eddie Carroll. So we talked about Eddie and we also talked about an actor friend of mine who had a role once on Baywatch and found himself unable to recall his lines with Erika and other women who looked like that nearby in swimwear. I gather my friend was not unique in that regard.

I talked a bit with Carol Channing…and you would have been amazed at how many autograph-purchasers she had who were obviously born well after Hello, Dolly! closed on Broadway. I thought of asking her if an anecdote I once heard was true. Like all Broadway stars, Ms. Channing had an understudy — another performer who was engaged to step into the role if the star was ill or in desperate need of a night off. Carol Channing's was initially Joanne Worley…and the story is that on the first day of rehearsal, she was introduced to Ms. Worley and she said, "I'm sure you're very talented but you're never going on." And she never did — Channing, no matter how sick, never missed a performance. That's how Worley tells the story but I chickened out on asking Carol Channing what she recalls.

I met a few other great folks at the Hollywood Show but I think this has gone on long enough. The next one in Burbank is February 11-12. The website says February 10-12 but trust me: You don't want to go the first day. The guest list is small at present but will grow in time. There's also a Hollywood Show in Las Vegas November 18-19.

Roger Ebert has written his autobiography. You can read the introduction to it online or you can just go ahead and order a copy.

The video quality on this one isn't good but it's too great a clip not to post. If you're a fan of old game shows, watch this round of To Tell the Truth from 1963. Watch it from the beginning and don't skip ahead…and try to play along with the panel and decide how you would have voted. Beyond that, the less I tell you about it in advance, the better it will be…

I am currently engaged in a battle with a software company regarding a program that is not performing as advertised…or guaranteed. Their website promises completely satisfaction but when you call up to tell how dissatisified you are, you get some kid who's pretty much powerless to make good on any assurances. I've actually talked to a couple of Customer Service people at this company — obviously earning minimum wage or less in whatever country they're in. They have, I gather, these scripts they're supposed to read. If the caller complains about X, they read Script #1. If the caller complains about Y, they read Script #2 and so on. None of those scripts involve honoring their guarantee and several try to get you to spend more money, upgrading to a more advanced version of the product that already ain't working for you.

I'll tell you the name of the software if I don't get satisfaction…and maybe if I do. But I got the last phone lackey to route me to his superior, which only took about fifteen minutes of being on hold. The superior didn't seem all that superior. He said he didn't have the power to live up to their guarantee either but he could send an e-mail to someone who can. Which means the Customer Service for this product is probably an outside company and even he isn't allowed to speak to someone with the actual power to do anything.

I am not even asking for a refund. This software has versions of varying deluxe stature. They have the plain version for $30. They have the deluxe version for $60. Then they have the super deluxe version for $90. I used to be quite happy with the $30 version but somehow I let one of their phone tech guys talk me into upgrading to the $60 version and it's been a disaster. I think what's wrong with it is that it's full of bells and whistles and unnecessary features and some of them are conflicting with vital parts of my computer's operating system and setup. What I'm asking for at the moment is for them to give me the simpler $30 version for my $60…but all I'm gettting are people telling me that no, they're not allowed to do that so I have to pay an additional $30 if I want the current version of the $30 product. Obviously, I don't think I should have to do that.

I am promised a response from the superior's superior within 48 hours. Let's see what, if anything, happens.

Mark Thorson reminds me that I did not provide a link via which you could purchase the fine book by my former collaborator, Dennis Palumbo. Here is such a link.

And Jef Frankel reminds me that I did not link you to a recently-posted interview of me over on Comic Book Resources. Every year at the Comic-Con in San Diego, the fine folks behind that website rent (and I think, sleep on) a boat that's docked in the marina out behind the convention center. Then they lure unsuspecting interviewees out to the ship and this past con, I was among the shanghaied. Here, you can see CBR Exec Producer Jonah Weiland quizzing me…and I somehow kinda like the fact that in the grand tradition of TV talk shows, the guest's chair is much lower than the host's.

June Foray, the First Lady of Cartoon Voices, is being honored this year with the Comic-Con Icon Award. This is the award that in years past has gone to folks like Frank Miller, Neil Gaiman, George Lucas, Stan Lee and Ray Bradbury. June is being saluted for a lifetime of iconic vocal work, most notably as Rocky the Flying Squirrel (and most of the females in Jay Ward cartoons) and thousands of other roles in cartoons, commercials, film dubbing, comedy records and plenty of other places. She is still working (at age 94!) on The Looney Tunes Show and The Garfield Show. No one is more deserving.

Matter of fact, June received the honor last night at the taping of the Scream Awards at the Universal Amphitheater. The show airs Tuesday at 9 PM on Spike TV and I think also on VH1 with many reruns the rest of the month. Tune in and see June get the trophy in front of an audience that was probably all zombies and monsters.

When I broke into TV writing, it was in tandem with a clever gent named Dennis Palumbo. We were a team for a few years, then parted friends and went in separate directions. His involved writing movies and novels, and eventually also becoming a very successful psychotherapist specializing in the obstacles that confront performers and writers. I have never seen him in his new professional capacity but just having lunch with the guy, as I do not often enough, convinces me he's very good at what he does.

I don't know when it was recorded but Dennis did a 27 minute interview with Barry Kibrick for Mr. Kibrick's PBS series, Between the Lines. It and many other interviews are online at this website…and if you're a writer trying to get a better understanding of process and the many things that can stop you from writing, you will profit from watching this conversation. It's a little tricky to get to but it's worth it. Go to the page I just linked and scroll down until you find Episode 1133, the one featuring Dennis Palumbo. You'll be glad you did.

Authorities are searching for a man who has been dubbed "The Mr. Magoo Bandit," saying that he has committed at least nine and possibly as many as twelve daylight bank robberies in California. He got his colorful nickname because of his resemblance to the famous cartoon character. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation…

The "Mr. Magoo Bandit" is described by witnesses as a white male in his 40s, weighing about 200 lbs, with a medium build. He has short, dirty blond hair and wears prescription glasses.

As a longtime fan of Mr. Magoo and a person who was once hired to write an animated Mr. Magoo feature that was never made (a remake/parody of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you can believe such a thing), I would like to suggest a reason that the FBI has been so far unable to apprehend this criminal. It's because of the nickname.

The animated Mr. Magoo is not in his 40s, probably would not weigh anywhere near 200 lbs., does not have a medium build, does not have dirty blond hair (or any hair at all) and the whole premise of the cartoon is that he won't wear prescription glasses.

Other than all that, the resemblance is uncanny.

If any FBI agents are reading this site — and I find it hard to believe they don't, constantly — I'd like to suggest that you guys might do better if you started referring to your man as "The Old Drew Carey Bandit." True, you might wind up arresting Glenn Beck but that would also be a public service.

The Thursday evening event was hosted by journalist Pete Hammond who wrote about it here. Hammond did a good job with a difficult job, hustling (probably) too many guests on and off the stage.

Given his account and the fact that you can watch the whole thing online, I don't have a lot to add. The audience was most appreciative of the folks on stage…and, I suspect, pretty well informed. Mr. Reiner told the stories about how he got the idea for The Dick Van Dyke Show, how they cast Rose Marie, how she recommended Morey Amsterdam, how they found Mary Tyler Moore, etc. They're all good stories but I'll bet 90% of those in the house knew them, if not because they were all told by Carl at the Egyptian Theater event two weeks earlier than because he's told them on so many other occasions.

On the other hand, when you're covering a topic as vast as Carl Reiner's career, it's hard to get past the obvious, perhaps necessary questions to get to the uncommon ones. I couldn't help but think how many things Mr. Reiner has done in television that were not mentioned or were only mentioned in passing. (I don't think there was anything about The New Dick Van Dyke Show and just scant references to The Celebrity Game, Good Heavens and dozens of others.

And it probably didn't matter because this wasn't a history so much as a chance for a lot of people to just love Carl Reiner in a public place. That part came off without a hitch. Great evening.

So what is Professor Irwin Corey (age 97) doing these days? He's out panhandling on East 35th Street in Manhattan every day…but not because he needs or even keeps the money. Real all about it!.

I know you're all in suspense so let me put your minds at ease: Yes, Carolyn and I got into the Carl Reiner Tribute last evening at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. So did a lot of folks who had a very good time. A few advertised guests did not show. Mel Brooks is suffering from, Carl explained, a "chip" in his hip that is causing much pain. Rob Reiner has walking pneumonia. And Ann Morgan Guilbert was not present for reasons that went unexplained. On the other hand, Lily Tomlin (who had not been advertised) participated and there was another surprise guest at the end who some probably thought came close to making up for those absences.

Rather than explain what went on, I'm going to show you. We have here a video of what I believe is the entire event. It runs two hours and twenty minutes and it goes in and out of sync throughout but not so much as to ruin its watchability. A few of the clips that were shown in the theater, such as a montage of scenes from Reiner-directed movies, have been replaced with excerpts from other Academy interviews, presumably due to a rights problem. But otherwise, it's all there except, of course, you won't quite feel the sensation of fun and love that filled the room.

If you don't have time to watch the whole thing, you might enjoy a video that Steve Martin sent in to be shown at the event. It starts around 45 minutes in and got huge laughs, though the audience reaction is not heard on it during this video. You might also enjoy the section about The Dick Van Dyke Show which starts around an hour and 20 minutes in. But pretty much the entire thing is worth watching once things get started. I'll write more about it later today…

Here's a list of 25 Brand Names that people seem to think are generic names for a product. Another one not listed is Tabasco Sauce. I caused great angst and panic among the CBS Standards and Practices people a decade or two ago by informing them of this. They labored night and day to keep childrens programming free of references to company and product names…but they thought Tabasco Sauce was just another way of saying "hot sauce" and had allowed it many times, including on shows I worked on. When they found out it was the registered name of one particular brand of hot sauce, panic swept the network.

This evening, the TV Academy is honoring Carl Reiner with a gala event. Included on the dais will be Mel Brooks, Dick Van — oh, who care who else will be there? Mel will be there so no one else will get to say anything. Anyway, Carolyn and I will be out in the audience somewhere…I hope. I have tickets but the last time I went to one of these — it was for Bob Newhart — I had tickets and didn't get in. So we'll see.

It starts at 7:30 L.A. time and the Academy will be live-webcasting the event on this page. I do not know if the webcast video will be available there for later viewing so if anyone does a live capture/download, let me know.