Credit Where Credit is Due

So about fifteen minutes ago, I receive this e-mail from a merchant with whom I have a credit card. It says URGENT in the subject line and it tells me that IMMEDIATE ACTION is necessary to prevent me from missing a payment on my card and being charged an interest payment. You may have heard me blink. "I haven't used that card in more than a month," I think to myself. "And I thought I always paid it off in full when I did use it." Quickly, I mouse my way over to their site, log in and this is what I see…

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First point: The payment in question is due October 20. This is October 14. What they're panicked about is that their "Recommended mail-in date" has passed. Even though I don't mail-in payments (I always pay them online, for which there is still plenty of time) and even though I made my previous payment well before it was due, they're fretting that this time I (a) decided to make my payment via U.S. mail instead and (b) have not yet done so. A fat lot of confidence they have in me.

Second point: This payment they are worried I haven't made yet is zero. I owe them no money. They're concerned that maybe I haven't yet gotten around to sending them nothing. They're warning me that I am about to be charged interest on nothing.

There are some indicators out there that our economy is starting to crawl out of the hole it's in. This is not one of them.

This Just In…

My spies at NBC tell me that four Pythons (no Michael Palin) are appearing throughout most of the Jimmy Fallon show tonight, with an interview that spans Act Three and Act Four. As of about a half hour ago, Eric Idle was rehearsing "Always Look on the Bright Side…"

Capt. Lou Albano, R.I.P.

Believe it or not, I worked with this guy, too. Years ago, I wrote and co-produced a prime-time special for CBS with a bunch of wrestlers from what was then called the World Wrestling Federation. I argued script notes with Vince McMahon, rehearsed "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (a great guy, despite his ring image) and at one point we suddenly needed a stand-in for Hulk Hogan so the director stood me on a box and had me take his place. I'm 6'3" and I was the third-tallest person on the set. (Hulk was second. We also had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the show.)

I got along great with McMahon and all the wrestlers. The only person on the show I didn't get along with was Cyndi Lauper, who was one of the executive producers…which was disturbing because I always loved her as a performer and still do. Anyway, our cast also included the legendary Captain Lou Albano, wrestler-turned-manager. I was never a huge fan of wrestling but I came to admire the showmanship of guys like Roddy Piper and Cap'n Lou, especially their instincts for exciting a crowd in just the way that it pays to be excited. When I mentioned to McMahon that I was impressed with the performance skills of some of his rasslers, he pointed across the stage to Captain Lou and said, "Most of them learned it from him."

Lou was a pussycat, at least during the two days we worked together. He was charming. He was funny. He was always ready to go into character (so as not to disappoint) when a fan asked for an autograph. At one point, since this show was slanted for a kids' audience, the Standards and Practices folks asked timidly if Mr. Albano could not be shot in close-up because of his facial piercings. When he heard that, the Good Captain scurried over to the make-up department and when he returned, the objects were all removed and the holes were covered with Max Factor. He couldn't have been easier to work with…and he was very good on the show.

That's about all I have to say about him. He was 76 years old and he sure had a lot of fans.

Jack 'n' Frank

Geoff Boucher writes about the friendship between Jack Kirby and musician Frank Zappa. Kirby knew the darnedest people.

The Son Also Writes

Stu Shostak's got himself a great guest tomorrow on his web-radio program, Stu's Show. It's Monte Schulz, who in addition to being the son of Charles M. Schulz, has established himself as a widely-read novelist. His new book, This Side of Jordan, has been hailed as a stirring portrait of the jazz age and of the American migration from rural to urban life.

He'll be talking about that book and also about growing up in the house of Charlie Brown and Snoopy tomorrow (Wednesday) on Stu's Show from 4 PM to 6 PM Pacific, which is 7 PM to 9 PM Eastern…and if you're not in either of those time zones, you can probably figure out when to listen. The show is heard on Shokus Internet Radio and remember that this is not a podcast that you can download whenever you like. It's a radio show. You have to log in when it's on and listen then. But if you do, you'll have a very good time.

Much At Steak

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Screenwriter Reed Fisher and his wife are touring this great land of ours with an easily-understandable goal: To photograph each and every Sizzler restaurant. Read all about it.

I can appreciate their affection for the chain and I used to be a fan of Sizzlers…and an admirer of how they'd shrewdly repositioned themselves in the marketplace. First time I went to one, it was a place to get a steak, a baked potato and not much else. But it was a darned good piece of meat for the price. I had worse steaks in places that charged three to five times as much.

Then there came a time in this land when the chug-a-lugging of beef became less fashionable…and with an uncanny sense of changing trends, the Sizzler folks reinvented themselves. Their eateries became places where you could get chicken or fish and/or graze at a rather good salad bar. They still had decent steaks but there were other things to eat and they were, again, quite acceptable, considering the price.

Since then, the Sizzler chain has filed for bankruptcy at least once (in 1996, they closed 140 of their 215 outlets) and changed management teams a number of times. Every time they bring in a new management, the quality of the meals goes down at least 25%, at least at the one near me. I've been checking in about once every two years on the gullible hope that they've reversed the downslide. So far, nope. In fact, the last try was so disappointing that I may not give it another try until late 2015. If I don't chicken out then, I'll let you know how it goes.

Just Before Bedtime

Several folks inform me that that Warner Archive project — the one putting out limited run DVDs of stuff from the Time-Warner vault — will soon issue a complete set of the Robert Benchley shorts. That will be a good thing to have. I'll let you know when it's available…or if you see it first, you let me know.

I also note that they've issued Penn & Teller Get Killed. You ever see that film? The first twenty minutes or so are pretty decent and then it just falls apart. I'm a big fan of those guys and I don't think I could bring myself to watch it again.

My pal Bob Claster offers some wonderful audio interviews on his site — chats he's had with the greats of the comedy profession. I've directed you to his page before but I'm going to direct you again because he's just added a conversation with Jonathan and Darlene Edwards. If you aren't familiar with them, you should be.

Okay, I'm going to bed. Good night, Internet and Mrs. Calabash…wherever you are.

The Purple Rock of Cairo

The other day here, I mentioned that it was an urban legend in the Hanna-Barbera hallways that Woody Allen had once written a never-used script for The Flintstones. Well, it turns out that our pal Richard Bensam actually managed to find a copy of it.

My Favorite Conversation of the Year So Far…

A little while ago, I called Stan Freberg about something and I happened to ask him if he'd sold a lot of autographed books at the Hollywood Collectors Show over the weekend. He said yes, he had. Then the following exchange ensued…

ME: Too bad you can't go deposit all that money. Banks closed.

FREBERG: Oh? Why?

ME: Columbus Day!

FREBERG: Oh, yeah. We going out on that joke?

ME: No, we do reprise of song. That help but…

BOTH OF US: …not much!

If you don't get the reference, don't worry about it. But if you do, you know why I feel like Woody Allen's character at the end of Play It Again, Sam. I've waited my whole life to say it.

Fair Warning

The next Comic-Con International in San Diego will be held Thursday, July 22, 2010 through Sunday, July 25, 2010. As usual, the Wednesday evening before is a Preview Night with most of the convention open as of 6 PM.

This time, the con is selling two different kinds of four-day passes — one with and one without Preview Night. The passes that include Preview Night are already sold out.

I shall repeat that: The passes that include Preview Night are already sold out. Some of us still haven't finished unpacking from the last Comic-Con International but Preview Night at the next one is sold out.

I have no inside info as to how fast the four-day passes without Preview Night are selling but their unavailability will surely come sooner than it usually does. If you're thinking of attending and you figure you can wait until next April to order a four-day pass, I suspect you're in for a surprise.

Consider yourself warned.

Chief Exec Approval

Interested in the rise and fall of presidential popularity? Here's your one-stop website for such data.

Legends in Concert

Photo by Christopher Bay

Here's a photo of two men who, between them, were responsible for about half the comedy records sold in this country before Vaughn Meader and many, many after Mr. Meader's career ended near a grassy knoll. That's Shelley Berman and Stan Freberg at the Hollywood Collectors Show in Burbank this past weekend.

My pal Earl Kress and I went out there on Saturday and had a fine time, walking around and talking to folks. The longest lines were for the two men above and for Jackie Cooper, who seemed to be autographing every single still, poster and DVD ever issued for any of the Superman movies he was in. I'm not sure some of the people in that line knew he'd ever done anything else.

Mickey Rooney and Debbie Reynolds were there. So were Sean Astin, Hank Garrett, Sally Kellerman, June Foray, Eddie Carroll, William Schallert, Alan Sues, Bill Mumy, Margot Kidder, Helen Slater, the ladies of Petticoat Junction, Jane Withers, Earl Holliman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Richard Anderson, Corbin Bernsen, Angela and Veronica Cartwright, Stephen Furst, Peter Mayhew, Skip E. Lowe and a lot of other famous folks. And there were at least as many celebs wandering the aisles as customers.

I don't have anything particularly interesting to report. I just wanted to say I was there and to run that great photo that Christopher Bay took.

More Dave Thoughts

Of course, there are other differences between David Letterman's "sex scandal" and most politicians' transgressions. Letterman is a comedian…not someone we expect to be making laws that define what's right and wrong. Also — and I suspect this was on his mind when he decided to go public with his situation — Dave comes off to a great extent like a victim in his case. This may or may not be how it all plays out but at the moment, the other guy looks like a sleazeball extortionist. Which, of course, makes Dave look better…makes you even feel sorry for him in a way.

The smart thing Dave accomplished by breaking the news himself was that he made it about David Letterman being blackmailed, rather than about Dave having sex with women on his staff. He even told the story that way on his show, telling the world that he was being shaken down for having done "creepy things" and then, at the end, finally revealing what those alleged creepy things were.

How it will all develop will depend, of course, on what else comes out. If some female Worldwide Pants employee comes forward with a tale that makes Dave sound like an aging Roman Polanski, that may do Letterman's rep some damage. The lawyer for the alleged blackmailer has been making it sound like he wants to put Dave on trial and to fill the courtroom with damaging revelations if his client doesn't get a generous plea bargain. Frankly, in the absence of some genuine crime on Letterman's part, I don't think America cares who's on his personal Top Ten list.

Okay, Okay…

Not every movie produced by Albert Zugsmith was terrible. Touch of Evil was pretty good…though one suspects that the producer was largely irrelevant on a movie directed and written by Orson Welles. Other than that…