Category Archives: Uncategorized

I like Jay Leno. I like David Letterman, too, by the way. Those two likes are not mutually exclusive…but this is about Leno. I knew Jay very casually back when he was working the Comedy Store. I even sold him a few jokes back then and decided he was a great guy and a terrific comedian, and I've seen nothing since then to alter those views. That doesn't mean I've liked everything he's done, of course. I doubt Jay even likes everything he's done. But I admire an awful lot of things about him, including his determination to fight good fights even when he's down.

That skill may come in handy in the months to come because I don't think his new show is working. The ratings say it isn't working for the public, which watched the first week when he was a novelty with weak competition, then abandoned him the second week. Some of those folks will come back when we reach the day that he's offering new shows opposite reruns on the other channels…but I wonder how many. Even I, last week, was leaving him unwatched on my TiVo…or speed-viewing, catching the monologue and racing through the rest. The Leno Tonight Show was usually fun and this show, which closely resembles that show, is not. So what's different?

Darn near everything, I'm afraid. I've been trying to figure out an incisive reason…and I do think the 10 PM program lacks a certain sense of importance and energy. Leno's early Tonight Show, where he first took over from Johnny, suffered because he was still guest-hosting for Carson. He hadn't established a new style and identity for a new show. His newest show suffers because, again, it isn't a new show. He's still doing his old show…and since it's in a new, fancy wrapper, you open it expecting more than the same old thing. An old bit can feel like an old friend — something you're glad to see again — but it can also feel like an old bit.

Of the new elements, the "Ten at Ten" questions segment is okay, I guess, though it feels pretty scripted and rehearsed. The "Green Car Challenge," I don't get at all. When I first heard about it, I thought the idea was to pit an environmentally-friendly electric car against a petroleum guzzler in order to prove something about going green. Turns out that's not it at all. Instead, they're pitting Drew Barrymore against Bob Costas to see who can notch the best time driving around a miniature golf course. I don't know why I should care about that contest or why anyone thought I would.

So far, the things I like least about the show are the remote "correspondents'" reports where Jay completely disappears from The Jay Leno Show and the whole thing is turned over to someone else. Leno did this on Tonight and even though some have been funny, it always feels like I accidentally hit the remote, changed channels and am watching a different program. What do I like most? The monologue…though most have not been as strong as the ones he did at 11:35. I also like it when Jay has a guest he seems to really like, which usually means someone who spilled blood with him on the comedy club circuit like Jerry Seinfeld or Bill Maher.

Word from inside NBC is that they're committed to this as a long-term deal. I suspect that will change if affiliates start to defect or juggle their schedules to move Jay later. For now though, it looks like they're going to tough it out, hope the affiliates don't panic, and wait and see what happens when Jay has new shows opposite reruns. Leno and his staff are reportedly working hard to beef up the comedy…and that may help a little. But they're dealing with a basic conceptual problem: The premise of this show is to do The Tonight Show without having it be The Tonight Show. That's a pretty shaky foundation on which to build five hours of NBC's weekly prime time schedule. I don't think little fixes are going to save it. I think they're going to have to raze the place and rebuild from the ground up.

This coming Friday, Turner Classic Movies is running a Marxian festival commencing in the early morn: A Night at the Opera, A Day at the Races, Room Service, Go West, A Night in Casablanca, Double Dynamite and A Girl in Every Port. Those are more or less in order of best to worst. The last two are Groucho only. The rest have him, Harpo and Chico but no Zeppo.

Then early Saturday morning, you can watch a half-hour short called Perversion for Profit, a 1965 documentary that was financed by that fine guardian of morality, Charles Keating. The thesis is that the spread of pornography (defined by a pretty low bar, even for '65) will lead to the downfall of America and a complete Communist takeover. A lot of folks love this film because it's (a) so campy and over the top and/or (b) full of naughty pictures. It's also a nice record of Los Angeles newsman George Putnam, who could sound like he was lecturing you on morality when he announced a freeway closure.

On Monday, they have a bunch of Whistler films starring Richard Dix, followed by Red Skelton's three "whistling" comedies — Whistling in the Dark, Whistling in Dixie and Whistling in Brooklyn. The Skeltons are in order of weakest to strongest, though they're all pretty much the same movie. If you like Red (and Ann Rutherford), you'll enjoy 'em.

As I've occasionally mentioned here, we're currently in production on the second season of The Garfield Show — and be careful if you click on that link because loud audio may start automatically once you get there. This is a new animated series that is airing in many countries around the world. I am assured that this one, soon, will be among them. Today I was in a recording studio for much of the day playing Voice Director, mostly on scripts I wrote for said series. Here's who we had in today doing the voices I was directing…

Back row, left to right: Frank Welker (voice of Garfield and darn near everything else on this planet), me (looking like I didn't get much sleep the night before), Laura Summer (enchanting voice actress) and Wally Wingert (voice of Garfield's owner, Jon). Wally, by the way, is the announcer on The Jay Leno Show.

Front row, left to right: June Foray (legendary voice of Rocky the Flying Squirrel, among zillions of other credits), Stan Freberg (master satirist, cartoon voice and personal hero), Jason Marsden (fine actor and the voice of Nermal on our show) and Gregg Berger (yet another fine actor who, among his many credits, barks for Odie.) Gregg, by the way, will be a guest this weekend at the Mid-Ohio-Con in Columbus, Ohio and he and I are doing a panel on cartoon voice work on Sunday.

And may I just say what a personal thrill it is to work with June Foray and Stan Freberg? If you're anywhere near my age — physically, 57; emotionally, 12 — you may have some sense of how important these two folks were to many a childhood, especially one like mine. I've worked with them individually before many times. But between takes when they started lapsing into dialogue from St. George and the Dragonet, a record they did that I've played eighty thousand times in my life…well, that's not something you can ever get jaded about. I hope.

Eight people wrote me in response to this musing I posted about Roman Polanski's situation. Oddly enough, seven of the eight opened their correspondence by saying something like, "I'm sure you've received a million messages about this by now." But I only got the eight. If I post here that I like one late night host more than another, I get at least thirty.

One person thought I'd written that there was really nothing wrong with statutory rape. This proves an old saying that I just made up, which is that one out of every eight people on the Internet cannot read. Half of the eight agreed with me, including two who identified themselves as one-time rape victims and one who said he was the father of one.

All of those who took issue with my view (all three of them) asked how, in my opinion, Polanski had "suffered" for what he did. Well, as I understand it, he did spend 42 days in prison. He did pay more than a million bucks to his lawyers and an undisclosed — but probably hefty — amount to the victim. He did effectively ban himself from this country. He did do considerable damage to his career. And he sure did an awful lot of damage to his name. People who can't name one movie he ever made can tell you, "Oh, yeah…he's the creep who raped an underage girl."

That may not all add up to a proper punishment for what he did but it's also not nothing. Moreover: At one point, both the judge in the case and the victim's family were quite willing to settle for even less. There was a plea bargain agreement for him to get off for just an apology and the time he'd already served. The judge signed off on it. The victim's reps signed off on it. Then the judge appeared to be reneging and that's when Polanski fled the country. (That judge has since passed away but the prevailing wisdom seems to be that he was seized with a desire for the attention that would come from presiding over a big, showy celebrity-laced trial.)

Two of the three who disagreed with me said that it was irrelevant that the victim — now, of course, a grown woman with a family — did not want Polanski prosecuted. "The victim doesn't get to decide," one wrote. Maybe not but her feelings are also not irrelevant, especially when she says that to pursue this matter would cause her and her loved ones greater discomfort than if we all put it behind us. Her name, by the way, is Samantha Geimer and she has written a couple of articles about the matter, urging everyone to just let it go. Here's one she wrote back when Polanski was nominated for an Oscar — which he later won — for The Pianist.

I've probably reached the extent of my interest in this matter except for the following suspicion. I think those who are rooting for Polanski to be dragged back here, treated like a common rapist and sent back to his old cell at Chino have false expectations. Between the victim's expressed wishes, the time that has passed, the judicial and prosecutorial misconduct alleged in the original case and the international outrage, I doubt Mr. Polanski will do any additional time. That is, if he's even extradited. All that will happen is that the state will spend a ton of money that could be put to more pressing matters, Ms. Geimer will have an old wound reopened and Polanski will look like a victim. I don't think any of those are things that ought to happen, especially that last one.

(Now, watch: I'm going to get sixteen more e-mails, two of which will think I'm trivializing the crime of drugging and raping a 13-year-old girl…)

Before the corporate takeovers, hotels in Vegas were owned 'n' operated by an array of colorful, seat-of-the-pants kinda guys. One of the last died on Friday. His name was Bob Stupak and while I never met him, I played at his casino (won, too) and followed his exploits in the press. Here's the official obit for him and here's a remembrance from a reporter who often wrote about him.

Stupak is the guy who, it is said, once acted on a sudden whim and signed the team of Marty Allen and Steve Rossi to a lifetime contract to play his hotel, Vegas World. It was an impulse that occurred over dinner with them and he put it in writing…on a napkin. This probably would have been an unwise move even back during the month or so when Allen & Rossi were the hottest comedy team in show biz…but Stupak made the offer and it was accepted in 1990 when the two had split up and neither was working much. As it turned out, the "lifetime contract" was good for about four years. Then for a while, Rossi played the showroom without Allen. Given that crowds weren't flocking to see Rossi with Allen, you could imagine how much business he did as a solo.

That was at Vegas World, a charming dump of a hotel which was later cleaned up and refurbished into the Stratosphere. When it was Vegas World, it had the most garish, mind-numbing interior decor you ever saw in your life — a lot of bad science-fiction imagery (robots, starships) covered with sequins. The dealers all wore ties that said, "Kiss me…I'm Polish," even if they were Asian. I once chatted with a black lady while she was dealing me some pretty good Blackjack hands and she said the hardest part of her job was dealing with remarks about the tie…and drunks who wanted to act upon its suggestion.

Stupak is credited with inventing "Double Exposure 21," a variation on Blackjack where all the cards, including the dealer's, are dealt face-up. Gullible gamblers think that's great; that they can't lose if they can see the dealer's hole card. But of course, the rules and payoffs have been adjusted so that the odds are even worse than plain vanilla Blackjack. That he created it tells you a lot about him and that people play it tells you a lot about gamblers.

That's about all I have to say about the man. Just couldn't let his passing go unmentioned. Vegas wasn't as classy and fancy back when it was run by people like Bob Stupak. But it was a lot more fun…and a lot cheaper.

This is another photo of something Sergio drew on the wall of his art exhibit — the one I wrote about in this post. The outlet was just sitting there in the wall and he decided it needed to be made funnier.

Terry Jones of Monty Python fame is teaching a one-day Comedy Writing Seminar at the Peoples Improv Theater in New York. The one day is Saturday, October 17 and as of this moment, it does not seem to be sold out. But I'll betcha it will be within 48 hours. Click here for more details or to sign yourself up.

You only have one day left to listen to this so hurry! It's a half-hour BBC documentary on the newspaper strip, Calvin and Hobbes. No, Bill Watterson is not interviewed in it. Thanks to Greg Ehbrar for letting me know about it.

Roman Polanski did a despicable thing when he drugged and raped a thirteen year old girl. It's not the worst thing one human being ever did to another but it's still pretty awful.

Still, he has suffered for his actions of thirty-one years ago and the victim — now grown — has asked that he not be prosecuted and there does seem to have been a double-cross in his trial and prosecution, and no reports of him molesting anyone since…

…and what we have here is a very annoying situation. I don't want to feel any sympathy for a guy who did what he did, but I do, at least a little. Somehow, this does not feel like justice to me…or the most important matter that the Justice Department had to pursue. You have to wonder how many other rapists and even murderers have not been pursued with this kind of unrelenting determination. If Polanski had just tortured the girl, they wouldn't be after him.

My e-mail suggests that recent video embeds on this site have won Craig Ferguson a number of viewers. This is good to hear. If you liked the "Istanbul" lip-sync, you might enjoy this video that he did on another episode.

One interesting point to make about his show: Boy, is it cheap. It holds its own against (and sometimes beats) the Late Night program over on NBC and I think it does so with about a fifth the budget. Ferguson does not have a huge writing staff, does not have a band, does not go on location shoots, etc. He often tapes two shows in one day, even. It's really a network show done for Public Access use fees.

Even more interesting is that while Dave, Jay, Conan and the two Jimmies jockey to get the biggest stars with the current hit movies — a competition that is heating up these days — Ferguson gets decent ratings with guests who often don't have all that much to plug. I also don't think he gets anywhere near the promotion and advertising of Jimmy Fallon's show. The more I watch him, the more impressed I am.

Josh Olson, who will not read your f'ing script, suggests I suggest something you can read. Over at E-Reads, it is now possible to download (for a fee, of course) e-books of darn near all the published volumes of Harlan Ellison. Since I have all these as real books, I probably won't. But you might find them enjoyable…and note some irony in the fact that a man who still insists on writing on a manual typewriter has his work available in this format.

Speaking of Harlan: Many years ago, I happened to mention Dr. Seuss in his presence…and I pronounced it the way you probably pronounce it — to rhyme with "juice" or "loose." Instantly, Harlan corrected me. It's pronounced "soyce," he said, rhyming it with "voice" or "choice." And he had this on very good authority, he did. He had met the legendary Theodor Seuss Geisel and heard that pronunciation from the man's own lips.

Of this, I have no doubt. But it seems to me that somewhere along the line, the Good Doctor gave up on this, or decided that though his actual middle name was pronounced "soyce," he might as well go with the book-buying majority and accept "seuss" (rhymes with "goose") as a preferred alternate for his pen name. In every documentary, his business colleagues and family members pronounce it to rhyme with "deuce." Ellison was the last holdout. For a recent online audio (a Seuss-style paraphrase of Josh's article), he pronounced it "soyce."

We discussed it recently and I convinced him to give it up and pronounce it the way everyone else does. This, believe me, is no small achievement. I've known Harlan since 1969 and I think this is the first time I've heard him abandon a cause. Odds are good it'll be the last, as well. So enjoy it while you can.

As I've mentioned here many a time, my partner Sergio Aragonés is currently being celebrated with an exhibit of his artistry at the Ojai Valley Museum in Ojai, California. The show is up 'til October 4 so if you're thinking of going, don't dawdle.

Carolyn and I drove up last evening for a special showing and party and barbecue for Sergio's friends in the cartooning world — a function of CAPS, the Comic Art Professional Society, which was founded in 1977 by writer Don Rico, Sergio and me. Among the CAPS members present were Scott Shaw!, Stan Sakai, Floyd Norman, Matt Groening, Mell Lazarus, Cathy Guisewite, Bill Morrison, Chad Frye, Bob Foster, Mike Kazaleh, Dean Yeagle, Steve Greenberg, Bobby London, Bill Riling, David Folkman, Pat McGreal, Nat Gertler and why did I start this list, knowing full well someone will be pissed at me for being left off it?

The exhibit is great fun. The walls are lined with Sergio drawings, a few of which date back to his childhood. At least one cartoonist, upon viewing drawings done at age eight, remarked, "Finally! A Sergio drawing I think I can do better than!" Most of the pages are of more recent vintage…from MAD or Groo, mainly. Then in one corner of the hall, Sergio has erected a facsimile of his studio, complete with a life-size cut-out of the man. That's what you're looking at in the photo above. The photo below is Carolyn examining a display of Groo posters.

One of the highlights of the exhibit is that the Ojai Valley Museum was nice enough to let Sergio draw all over their walls. He actually drew marginal-style cartoons (i.e., like the marginals he does for MAD) along the baseboards and in any blank wall space he could find. Among attendees, there was much discussion of how sad it will be if and when the museum paints over them all and brings in French impressionists. Here's one such doodle that I noticed on my way to Guess Where after the long drive…

I shot some others I may post later in the week. But if you're within easy driving range of Ojai, try to get to this thing before it closes. You won't have as good a time as we did because there'll be no barbecue and there probably won't be a room full of cartoonists. But you'll have a good enough time to make the drive worth it.

Dick Cavett offers up another video interview of Richard Burton.

Every so often, someone floats this idea, which is that we do away with tipping in this country and just tack on fixed service charges to instances where one is now expected to tip. This particular proposal is a little different from others I've seen. They were all about how it would just spare us, the tippers, from having to do math or even wondering what the proper percentage is for a given situation. (I'm still not sure, when I go into a restaurant and pick up a "to go" order — or when I dine at a buffet — what's appropriate.)

This one says that we'd benefit because better, more responsible folks would be attracted to the job. Maybe. But I can't recall having too much trouble ever with waiters or servers because they weren't dedicated or able human beings. My problems in that arena always flow from decisions made by management — not having enough servers or commanding the ones they have to do silly things.

The most notable in places I dine, and it seems to be a growing trend, is that if you take a respite in your consumption — i.e., stop eating for a sec — your server is supposed to be right there to simultaneously say, "Are you still working on that?" and attempt to snatch your plate away. I don't get why they do this since almost none of these places are crowded to the point of having folks waiting for tables.

I'm also tired of the occasional hardsell on desserts, especially of those big productions that you have to order before you get your entree — "You'll really love our Chocolate Rose Bowl Float with eleven varieties of ice cream, complete with caramel and marshmallow drizzle in the design of the Rose Parade Queen. But it takes twenty minutes do prepare so you have to order it now." You kinda wish they'd be more candid and say, "We're afraid if we don't sell you the $12.00 dessert now, you won't want it after you're stuffed full of pork chop."

That too is a management policy. I really can't think of any problem I've had with the waiter or waitress for a long time, other than these things the boss tells them to do. That, and the fact that most restaurants just plain don't have enough personnel on the floor so you practically have to haul out Semaphore flags and wag them to get someone to come by and refill your water glass.

What I think might be a good idea is if restaurant checks had a little box where, instead of entering a tip amount, the diner could just check a box that said, "Add 15% Gratuity" or maybe "Add 18% Gratuity" or both, also leaving you the option of writing in an amount instead. I'm guessing someone's experimented with this and found that if they specify a low percentage, it leads to lower tips…and if they plug in a higher number, it leads to patrons feeling pressured to tip big. But maybe if more establishments tried this, customers would get used to it and we'd move towards standardized tipping. I wonder if servers wouldn't prefer it just because it would make their financial lives a bit more predictable.

An awful lot of people have written to inform me that They Might Be Giants were/was not the first recording artists to record "Istanbul, Not Constantinople." I know…honest. In fact, I have the hit version by The Four Lads on the jukebox in my living room. I didn't say They Might Be Giants had written or originated the song, folks; just that Craig Ferguson and his puppets were performing to a tune by the group.