More rumors of Jerry Lewis appearing on the telethon.

You know, there's a way everyone could come out of this smelling like tulips. I don't know what the goal is this year but let's say it's $65 million. The day before, Jerry makes some sort of appearance somewhere that's calculated to get on the news. He says, "No, I'm not appearing on the telethon." And then he says, "Listen, it's more important than me or the folks running the telethon or any of that crap. What matters is raising money to help my kids…

"I'm still in touch with some wonderful people in the MDA organization including some of the top research people. I'm frustrated that I couldn't go in and raise the money like I always do. They're telling me they need more than ever this year…what they could do if they had seventy or even, God willing, seventy-five million…the good that money could do…"

And then in seeming impulse, he says, "Hey, I'll tell you what. Tell them…tell the world that if they can raise $75 million by the fifth hour, I'll show up. I live in Vegas. I'll be sitting around that evening doing nothing…maybe cleaning out the lint trap in my laundry room or something. I own eighty tuxedos and it's a ten minute drive from my home to the South Point. If they want me to come in and do the last half-hour and they have $75 million on that tote board, I'll do that for my kids. I'd put everything else aside if America could do that."

So then when the telethon starts, some big MDA official comes out and says, "Folks…we love Jerry. He built this whole thing. We're sorry about the misunderstanding…and now we have a chance to get him on here. Get those phones ringing. Call your friends and tell them to pledge, too. We've got less than five hours to raise $75 million. It's our way of thanking Jerry and getting him on this stage to take the bow he so richly reserves!"

They'd raise the target amount. Some big sponsor like Pepsi-Cola would probably want to give the last big chunk so they'd get the credit and good will for putting the drive over the top. Even if no such company came forward, telethons have a way of putting any number they want on the tote board by counting donations that weren't earmarked for the telethon or adding in what they know will be donated in the future.

However they do it, they bring Jer on for the ovation of the century. The tune-in would be incredible. He makes a speech showing he's bigger than any of this; that all he's ever cared about is doing right by his kids. The MDA official comes out and they hug and he asks Jerry, in front of the entire country, to host next year's telethon. Jerry says, "Thanks but I think it's time to hand it on to the next generation…" and he says some nice words about those who are taking it over. He adds, "I just want to sit home with my feet up and watch…and hey, if you make $80 million next year, maybe I'll come by and sing the closing number." And then he sings the closing number, his voice chokes up sixteen bars from the end and he doesn't finish.

Television history. A new rebirth for the telethon. And Jerry becomes the first Jewish Saint.

Do I expect any of this to happen? No. But wouldn't it be great?

Actually, neither one of those people in the photo is me. That's my buddy Stu Shostak in blue, posing with Stan Freberg — one of the many legendary show business figures who've guested on Stu's Show since December of 2006. I was Stu's first guest, the premise being that if he started with me, the guests could only get more interesting and important from then on. Indeed, they have…but I'll still be joining him again this Wednesday for Show #244, which will be the last live Stu's Show to air on Shokus Internet Radio…

…but it is not by any means, the last Stu's Show. Nosiree, Bob! Shokus Internet Radio will cease to broadcast at the end of the month but Stu is relocating his fine talk show (and the lovely Jeanine Kasun's Baby Boomer Favorites) to a new venue over at www.stusshow.com. His debut webcast there will be on Wednesday, September 21 and he's got a great first episode — an interview with Jay North, Gloria Henry and Jeannie Russell, the cast of the original Dennis the Menace TV show. To get those folks together around his microphones is quite a coup.

And then in the weeks to come, he's got more great guests including Ed Asner, Sherry Jackson, Jane Withers, Jane Kean, Monica Lewis, Judy Strangis and others. I'll be plugging those installments later. Right now, I'm just suggesting you tune in live this Wednesday to hear the last show in the old digs. Like I said, I'll be on it and we have something very special planned. It won't just be me talking about myself for two hours. Be there for it Wednesday at 4 PM Pacific Time, 7 PM Eastern Time on Shokus Internet Radio.

Speaking in my role as an unapologetic shill for the Five Guys hamburger chain, I proudly announce that they've just released a free app for the iPhone. They already had this available for Android…but now us iPhone users can find out where the nearest Five Guys is with just a tap or two. It was worth buying the iPhone just for this.

Obituary for Del Connell in his hometown (current hometown) newspaper.

We are pleased as punch to announce that Volume One of Pogo has gone to press. We have printer's proofs and it looks sensational. Or to put it another way, it looks worthy of the great newspaper strip (some would say the greatest) created by Mr. Walt Kelly.

Some of Pogo has been reprinted before, not always in the best possible manner. Now, all of it will be republished — every daily strip and every Sunday page with the latter in color — in twelve volumes being issued by Fantagraphics Books. This is not as simple as someone saying, "Hey, let's reprint Pogo" and making a deal to do so. Much of the material does not exist in pristine, ready-to-print form and the earlier a strip is, the more likely it had to be located and painstakingly restored. That takes time, which is why the release date of this book was announced and changed, announced and changed, announced and changed, etc.

But now the first one's at the printer and subsequent volumes oughta be a lot simpler. (That sentence was hard to type with fingers crossed.)

My friend, the lovely Carolyn Kelly, lovingly supervised the loving restoration of her lovely father's lovely strip and she also did the lovely design of this lovely book and its lovely dust jacket and the lovely imprints under that lovely dust jacket. Sure sounds like a labor of love to me. Not that the contents need any help but the strips are supplemented by a foreword from writer (and friend o' Walt's) Jimmy Breslin and essays/annotations by Steve Thompson, R.C. Harvey and myself. If I were you, I'd read all that text stuff after I read the strips themselves about eleven times.

Each volume contains two years of Walt Kelly's magnum opus. Since the first year started in mid-year, there's room in the book to also include the pre-syndication Pogo strips he did for The New York Star, a short-lived newspaper for which he worked. This gives you the chance to observe from Day One and watch as it develops steadfastly from a darn good newspaper strip to something a lot better than just "darn good." Working on this collection, that was my constant thought: "Gee, it just gets better and better, doesn't it?"

That's about all I need to say about the contents. I am not sure when exactly the book will ship. Amazon is cautiously saying mid-December but it'll be well before that by at least a month or two. It'll be soon enough that you can order a copy in confidence of holding one in your hand before long. (Ignore the old cover design on the Amazon listing. The real one is above.) I'll caution you that if you buy Volume One, you're going to want Two through Twelve. I don't want to claim that Pogo was the best newspaper strip ever done. But if you want to say that, I sure won't give you an argument.