Credit cards are like children: You have to keep an eye on them because they have a tendency to wander away and thus cause you trouble. I don't have any children but my American Express card likes to go off on its own and I thought I'd share two of many anecdotes here — one today, another tomorrow. Today's took place about twenty-five years ago. I had lunch with a business associate at the little trattoria that Sonny Bono used to own over on Melrose near La Cienega. When the check came, I gave the server my AmEx card and he took it away to imprint as they usually do.
A bit later, he brought me a slip to sign, along with what I assumed was my card. It wasn't. It was somebody else's American Express card of the same color. In fact, it was also this other person's slip but I didn't notice that, either. I added a tip to the bill, totalled it, signed and slipped the AmEx card into the slot in my wallet where I always carried mine. At another table at Bono's, another gent did likewise with my bill and my credit card. Sonny was actually there at the time running things and while I have no proof that he personally got the cards confused, I like to tell people that he did. I mean, it was my fault for not noticing but why accept responsibility for anything if you can blame it on Sonny Bono?
For five days, I went about my business, using what I thought was my American Express card. I didn't notice and none of the stores where I used it noticed that my name was not on it. I charged about $500 worth of goods and services to someone else's American Express card. In the meantime, a total stranger was charging about $1800 to mine, equally unaware of the swap. Aren't businesses supposed to verify in some way that the credit card you hand them is actually yours? Apparently, not the kind of businesses I patronize.
Finally, I noticed. It was in the Benihana's on La Cienega. They brought me my check. I gave them someone else's card. They imprinted the card on the bill and brought it all back to me. I saw it was not my card and told them they'd made an error. Much searching and discussion ensued, and the Manager assured me that no one else there had concurrently used an American Express card and they could not possibly have caused a swap. "We returned to you the credit card you gave us, sir," he said.
I dug into my pocket and found an AmEx receipt from another purchase earlier that day. Sure enough, it was to the alien credit card I'd given them. Uh-oh.
Back home, I sorted my recent receipts into chronological order and figured out where the mix-up occurred. Fortunately, the name on the other card was a unique one and it was findable in the telephone book. I called the gentleman up and asked him if he'd eaten in Bono's the previous Tuesday. He said he had. I asked if he had his American Express card. He said, "Sure." I asked him to go and take another look at it. Puzzled, he went away and came back to the phone to ask, "Who's Mark Evanier?" Well, actually, he pronounced it "Even-nyer" but I'm used to that. I explained to him what had happened and he asked me, "Well, what do we do now?"
I told him we could either call American Express and have them cancel the cards and sort everything out or we could gather up our recent receipts and get together. Within the hour, he was at the table in my kitchen with his recent receipts. He was quite bemused by it all and eager to get it straightened out, the only unpleasantness coming when he looked at our respective receipts from Bono's and noted that he was a much better tipper with my credit card than I was with his.
We did the math and it turned out he owed me around $1300, mostly because of travel arrangements he'd put on his my card. He gave me a check for that amount, our credit cards went back to their rightful possessors and it was all over…except that I had to explain to my accountant several times why I'd bought a total stranger tickets to Disney World.
Moral of the story: Always know where your credit cards are. The other day, I didn't follow my own advice. I will tell you that tale tomorrow. Sonny Bono, being deceased, is not involved but the story does feature brief cameo appearances by Laraine Newman, Sylvester Stallone and Fabio.
