Here's another one of those blog posts where someone else wrote what I was going to write but did it first and did it better. Go read Ken Levine on why the studios and networks are out of their friggin' minds to offer SAG such a rotten deal that it prompts a strike.

That is not a photo of Groucho Marx. It's a photo of Frank Ferrante, who tours America with his uncanny Groucho show. Several times on this site, I have plugged Frank's superb one-man show (well, one man and a piano player) and every time, I hear later from a couple of readers who thank me for the recommendation and say they had the greatest of times. "It was just like seeing the real Groucho in his prime" is a not-uncommon remark. Since I like being told I'm right, I'm plugging Frank again.

Frank's touring schedule can be found over on his new website. What interests me is that his next performances, May 17, are in Brea, California. That's about an hour's drive from Los Angeles and I'm thinking of driving down, especially if I can find some friends who want to car pool. Anyone who wants to go can order tickets on this page.

I saw Frank a few years ago and enjoyed it enough to make that long trek just to see him…but I have another incentive. As some of you may recall, Brea is where Riley's restaurant is located. And Riley's, as I explained here, is the last remnant of the old Love's Barbecue chain. The place used to be a Love's but when the chain's new owners started suing each other and all the Love'ses began closing, that one went independent, changed the name on the sign to Riley's and went on serving pretty much the exact same menu. Riley's is about ten minutes from where Frank is performing.

A great show and my favorite beans. How great is that?

I know there are a couple of folks from Turner Classic Movies who read this weblog because I've received e-mails from them, but I'm darned if I can find them right now. So I'm choosing this method of communicating with them…

TCMers, I think it's great that you're featuring more Laurel and Hardy on your terrific network. We love Laurel and Hardy and if you want to get rid of everything else and just run Stan and Ollie 24/7, that's fine with us. We like the fact that in June, you're running two of their best features every Saturday morning…

…and we really like the fact that you're running a full day of Laurel and Hardy films on August 23 but we have a suggestion. Your current schedule for that wonderful marathon has Them Thar Hills (1934) airing an hour or two after Tit for Tat (1935). Tit for Tat is a sequel to Them Thar Hills — the only sequel Stan and Oliver ever did — and should come after it, perhaps immediately after. Thank you.

I keep doing interviews to ballyhoo Kirby: King of Comics. Recently, I appeared (by phone) on a British radio program on comic books called Panel Borders, hosted by Alex Fitch. It was a two-part show also featuring Barry Forshaw, who has written some fine articles on Jack Kirby for The Jack Kirby Collector. Here's Part One and by the way, that's not how my last name is pronounced. It's correct in the previous link.

And here's Part Two…

The Sound of Young America, with "America's Radio Sweetheart" (that's what they call him) Jesse Thorn, is heard on public radio stations around the country. I was this week's guest, discussing my book, Kirby: King of Comics. You can also hear it on this page. It runs about forty minutes.

I mentioned here the other day that I wasn't sure if I was going to donate any money in the current election. That's because I usually decide that whatever cash I can afford to give away can go to a better purpose. Almost invariably, it's to either the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund or to Operation USA. In light of the recent tragedy in Myanmar, I'd like to tell you again about Operation USA.

There are an awful lot of worthy charities in the world. Years ago, there was a time when I was being assaulted by so many that I felt I had to stop and look around and just pick one that was deserving of whatever loot I could spare…one that did a lot of good with the funds and didn't spend it all on carpeting for their office or fancy lunch expense accounts for their administrators. I found what I was seeking in what is now called Operation USA. The folks there are truly dedicated to helping people who are starving, people who are homeless, people who are threatened by the spread of disease, etc. They operate all around the world, including in this country, without regard to borders, political boundaries, etc. To them, a starving human being is a starving human being is a starving human being…

You can find other groups that do vital and important work, no doubt about it. But I'm satisfied that when I send dollars to Operation USA, they're put to very good use. And on a purely selfish level, it enables me to turn down all the other probably-worthy causes that ask me for money. I don't have to stop and investigate them and see if they really will do what they say they'll do with my money. I'm satisfied Operation USA does and so I'm satisified I'm doing my part. If you'd like to feel you're doing yours, please consider Operation USA.

Irvine Robbins, co-founder of the Baskin-Robbins ice cream dynasty, passed away the other day. I gave up ice cream many years ago but retained an inexplicable fondness for the history and trivia of that business. For instance, did you know that Banana Nut was the favorite flavor of Howard Hughes? That once, when Banana Nut had fallen out of the Baskin-Robbins flavor rotation, Hughes's staff paid the company a fortune to make up a special batch, rather than go tell Mr. Hughes that he couldn't have his favorite ice cream?

One obit on Mr. Robbins listed the original 31 flavors offered in his stores. They were…

I look at that list and I think, "Y'know, they could have just left it that way forever." They could even have gotten rid of about 25 of them. I'm not particularly adventuresome when it comes to new flavors. I go into a restaurant where I've previously had a terrific meal and my first instinct is to order the same thing again…something I know I'll like. In all my years of going to Baskin-Robbins, I probably tried about a dozen different flavors, most of which were some different combination of Chocolate and Vanilla. If their entire selection had consisted of those two flavors plus Orange and Lemon Sherbet, I don't think they'd have gotten any less of my business.

I remember for a while ordering something called Chocolate Mousse Royale and occasionally throwing caution to the breezes and opting for French Vanilla over Vanilla. These were just Chocolate and Vanilla on steroids. In my more madcap, impetuous moments, I might even go for Chocolate Chocolate Chip…and for a few visits there, I chose something that was vanilla ice cream with a chocolate ribbon and little chunks of peanut butter. Oh, yeah — and once I think I had a scoop of Strawberry but I hedged my bet and made it half of a two-scoop parlay with Vanilla. My most frequent two-scoop selection was Orange Sherbet and Vanilla — and remembering an old Peanuts strip, I always asked that the Orange be on top so it would drip down and flavor the Vanilla instead of the other way around, and I'd have the Vanilla aftertaste.

It's not that I don't like to gamble. I just think that when you gamble, you ought to have a shot at a real upside. Imagine if you had a choice of putting your dough into one of two slot machines. One, you know will pay off with a nice jackpot. The other might pay off the same or a few cents more but it also might not pay off at all. Which one would you pick? Well, that's the way I feel in a place like Baskin-Robbins. I know the Chocolate Chip will be terrific. Another, heretofore unsampled flavor might be a teensy bit better but I might also not like it, which I would realize at first lick, whereupon I'd be stuck with a whole cone or dish of the stuff. So why not play it safe? It's not like the new flavor might cure acne or attract supermodels to you. It can't be so much better than the Chocolate Chip that it warrants the risk.

So Mr. Robbins, while I appreciate all those extra choices you offered and all the inventive alchemy your laboratory concocted, I would have been perfectly satisfied with Chocolate, Vanilla, Orange Sherbet, Lemon Sherbet, Strawberry, and some chocolate/vanilla combo like Chocolate Chip. All of them are on the above list so you had me from Day One.

If all goes as expected, Barack Obama will accept the nomination of the Democratic party at their convention on August 28…45 years to the day after Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech.

The Writers Guild ought to be getting residuals for what's going on between the AMPTP ("the studios") and the Screen Actors Guild ("the good guys") in their current negotiations. Actually, the negotiations are no longer current, having broken down today with the two sides still light years apart…but the point is it's like a replay of what happened with the WGA, and we oughta get residuals for the rerun.

If anyone thought that our strike would have softened up the studios…well, that doesn't seem to have happened. Accounts are sketchy and conflicting but it seems safe to say the studios are offering our (and the DGA's) "new media" deal in a form that doesn't work for SAG, they're refusing all other increases save the token, low-end cost of living increases, and they're demanding a number of concessions from the actors. One of those proposed concessions is to do away with some fees and all permissions when a clip of an actor is used in a different context. In other words, if you're in a movie, they want to be able to take a segment that you're in and do any damn thing they want with it without paying you and without your okay.

I can't believe that will ever fly with the SAG membership. In fact, it's so outrageous that it sounds like it's in the studios' demands just so it can be dropped later on. As we noted during the WGA head-butting, a favored tactic of the AMPTP is to make an offer that's really lousy with one or two deal-killer points. Then, when they drop those points, the hope is, the union will consider it a "win" and accept what remains, which is still a really crappy deal.

Without a vast amount of confidence, I'll stick with my prediction that there won't be a SAG strike. The studios are sitting down now with the other actors' union, AFTRA, to negotiate a new contract. The expectation seems to be that AFTRA will take a bad deal and then the AMPTP will go back to SAG, tell them they can have the same thing or they can go on strike…and no other options will be discussed. I don't think it'll work because I think SAG and its members know the drill and are inspired by the WGA walkout/holdout. Also, SAG just seems angrier about the basic issues than we were. Still, a lot will be riding on how badly AFTRA eats it.