Deal! (Probably)

The Writers Guild has reached a tentative (meaning, the membership still has to vote to accept it) deal with the AMPTP. A summary of the terms may be read at this link.

It's late and I have to get to bed…but it seems to me like an acceptable but not great offer. I think the membership will go for it though, of course, there will be those who will feel that after however-many-days-it's-been, the terms should be better. They are not wrong about that but I suspect it's the best deal we're going to get at this time. It does seem better on several points than the Directors Guild deal and one wonders if the DGA has some kind of "favored nations" provision that will upgrade those deal points to match ours.

As rumored, the deal runs through May 1 of 2011. Wonder how they arrived at that date. If the DGA and SAG both renew for three years, that means that in '11, the three unions will all have their contracts expiring in a three month period…and again, we're stuck going first.

Reserving the right to modify my view after the meeting tonight, I feel both pleased and disappointed by this deal. I am pleased the WGA took the stand it did. I believe that if we hadn't struck in November — if we'd caved and accepted the kind of offers they were positioning us for then — we'd have gone a long way towards destroying our livelihoods and those of many others who work in this industry. I'm sure some clown somewhere is going to crunch the numbers wrong and say, "Well, the strike cost Writers an amount totalling X dollars and the gains in the contract only amount to Y over the next three years." But really, this strike was never about that kind of math. It was about a more long range variety that took into account the entire future of our participation in new ways in which the shows and films we write will be marketed. There's no way to calculate the worth of that, and you certainly can't only look at what we will make in the next three years.

The whole battle was also about the way in which we negotiate…or, in most past cases, don't get to negotiate. It all invokes the old analogy of the schoolyard bully who demands a nickel from you one week, a dime from you the next, then a quarter, then fifty cents, etc. At some point, preferably early on, you have to put an end to that because even if at some point your losses seem trivial, they won't stay that way. The AMPTP has an almost inalterable rule: When you accept a bad deal from them, they come back the next time and try and force you to take an even worse one. I shudder to think how terrible the contract would have been in 2011 if we'd taken the kind of thing they were dangling at us last November.

I'm very pleased and proud of the solidarity that the WGA has shown to date. It may get contentious at the meeting tonight because now we can better afford to be contentious. But before the strike I had a lot of dire expectations of members threatening to split the Guild and of far more vituperative attacks on our leadership. With a few exceptions — and only a few — I think this was a very well-run strike. Admittedly, in some cases, the manuevering of the studios did not leave us with a lot of choices…but where we had choices, I think our leadership made the right ones.

Like I said, I'll write more after the meeting. I gotta get some sleep. Good night, Internet!

Con Jobs

I have a lot of comic book conventions to attend this year. Usually, I don't make it to as many but I have this book coming out so it seems like a fine time to make the rounds. My whole schedule, if anyone cares, is over on this page.

Two weeks from today, my companion Carolyn and I will be in San Francisco for the annual WonderCon, where we always have a fine time. I, of course, will be hosting some panels and you can find a list of them on this page. You can find the entire programming schedule for the con on this page but why you'd want to go to any events other than mine is beyond me.

Happy Jack Larson Day! (One day late)

Jack Larson and Noel Neill
Jack Larson and Noel Neill

I'm nineteen minutes late with this. Yesterday was the 75th birthday of Jack Larson, who was so perfect in the role of Jimmy Olsen in the Superman TV series of the fifties. Those shows were done for about a buck and a quarter, with scenes shot wildly out of sequence to the point where the cast often wasn't sure which episode a given scene was even for. Still, the sheer personality of several fine actors made it all work, and Larson was a key reason.

I only met Jack Larson once and he seemed shy and a bit embarrassed by my telling him how much I admired his acting. He gave that up long ago and has had a fine, successful career as a writer and producer, which I assume makes him happier, which is all that should matter. Not long ago, he sat for a lengthy video interview for the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Foundation's Archive of American Television project. It should be available on Google Video in the next day or so and when it is, I'll link you to it.

WGA Stuff

At this very moment, lawyers are madly trying to finalize the language of a proposed deal 'twixt the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers and the Writers Guild of America. As we've been telling you here for some time, a key concern in this negotiation has to be the precise wording so that there's no wiggle room…so that the strike doesn't end and then the studios say, "No, we never agreed to that." This weblog post over at United Hollywood tells what's going on, and it matches what I'm hearing from other sources.

Assuming there's a deal to announce tomorrow night, it will be presented to the membership and discussed and debated. If our leadership recommends it, it will almost certainly be accepted. I mean, it's not like our negotiators can tell is it's an acceptable deal and then go back to the other side and say, "It's not an acceptable deal." My hope would be that when we vote, it doesn't pass overwhelmingly. If the number is 80%, the boys over at the AMPTP are going to say, "We could have got them cheaper." If it passes with 51%, they're less likely to lowball us the next time we meet at the table. (The mere fact that we sustained this strike for so long and didn't fold has already probably convinced them but a little more learning wouldn't hurt.)

I'll have more to say about all this after the meeting.

Today's Video Link

If this or a link to this hasn't appeared in your inbox, it will. This is the long (three and a half minute) version of a piece of amazing CGI animation that's making the rounds of a "fantastic machine." Some of its web appearances are shorter and many suggest that this is not animation; that it's a video of an actual invention cobbled together from parts of an old John Deere tractor (!) or various household items. Do not fall for this.

It was actually done and done brilliantly by a company called Animusic and that's a link to their website where they sell a DVD of such goings-on.

VIDEO MISSING

WGA Stuff

I'm hearing all sorts of things that may happen at the Writers Guild meeting tomorrow night. Yes, I will be there. No, I won't be live-blogging from it and that's because I want to pay attention and also not violate the sanctity of what obviously will be an important gathering. Rumors abound about what's in the offer that will be discussed and I'm trying to not formulate an opinion until I actually know what I'm formulating an opinion about. I think it's fair to say though that the offer will be good enough for some and not good enough for others.

I will pass along one rumor, though. It's that the current proposal is for a deal that would expire in May of 2011. That sounds odd to me because the Screen Actors Guild traditionally makes contracts that expire at the end of July and if they make a new three year deal without a strike, that one would probably expire in July of '11 and the AMPTP could again be in the position of facing both unions with linked arms. One of the Big Stories of this Writers Strike, and the reason it's been so effective, has been the unbreakable solidarity with SAG. I don't know why the studios would risk having that happen again. Perhaps they think they can move SAG's expiration month to December.

The above, I should underscore, may not be true. None of the rumors may be true, including the one that has all the lawyers on both sides still scurrying to commit to paper some terms that can be discussed tomorrow evening. About the only thing I'll predict for sure about the meeting is that there will be a lot of arguing and that the parking at the Shrine Auditorium is going to suck. If you're getting there, get there early.

Recommended Reading

That's right. It's another Fred Kaplan article. This one's about the failure of NATO in Afghanistan.

The Musical Fruit

As I've mentioned here before — to little apparent interest — I was a big fan of the cuisine at the old Love's Barbecue Restaurants. Alas, there are no more Love's except (according to the company website) for an alleged one in Jakarta, Indonesia. I'm dubious it's there and when I get a moment, I'm going to run over and check. In the meantime, all of the ones in this country have definitely closed. The only place that I believe still serves what is essentially the Love's menu is a former Love's situated in Brea, California. It's called Riley's.

My favorite thing on the Love's menu was their barbecued beans. When it became apparent to me that all the Love's were going away, I began searching for their recipe to see if it was possible for me to replicate these beans in my home kitchen. It doesn't take a lot of Googling to find two different recipes, both of which are presented as The Love's Recipe, sometimes with a little tale about how a friend who worked in one broke the Barbecue Code and divulged the secret. Here's one of these recipes…

  • 5 pounds canned pork and beans
  • 1 pound brown sugar
  • 1 (14 oz.) bottle ketchup
  • 2 bell peppers, chopped
  • 1 teaspoon liquid smoke, to taste
  • 8 slices bacon

Combine all ingredients except bacon in a large casserole or baking pan. Top with bacon strips. Bake at 325 degrees for 2 1/4 hours.

You'll find that recipe on at least a hundred websites and it may even yield a great pot of beans…but there's no way that's the Love's recipe. Love's beans did not contain bell peppers (I hate bell peppers) and were not topped with slices of bacon…and what's this about starting out with some arbitrary brand of canned pork and beans? Wouldn't the output of this recipe vary a lot depending on which brand of canned pork and beans you started with? Also, Love's beans tasted an awful lot like Love's barbecue sauce, and there's nothing in the above about adding in Love's sauce or any of the same spices. So phooey on this recipe.

A little more Googling and you may come up with the following putative recipe for Love's beans. This one is usually represented as having been exposed by an article in the L.A. Times

  • 3 (1 pound) cans pork n' beans
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 teaspoons chili powder
  • 1/4 cup dark molasses
  • 1/2 cup bottled chile sauce
  • 2 tablespoons vinegar

Combine all ingredients in bean pot or crockpot with lid, mix well. Cover and bake at 400 degrees F for 1 hour for thin bean mixture, or 1 1/2 to 2 hours for thicker bean mixture. Sprinkle with crumbled bacon bits to serve.

That sounds a little more like it but even without testing, I know that's not it. Again, we're starting with some random brand of canned beans, which means we have some arbtitrary sauce going into our concoction. Again, we have those bacon bits. I don't believe Love's beans had much, if any chili flavoring in them (I hate chili) and again, I don't see the elements in there that would convey or approximate the taste of Love's sauce.

It's still possible, by the way, to purchase Love's sauce via their website. It's a sweet BBQ sauce and usually I don't like sweet sauces…but I like this one and I sometimes use it in cooking. In case you're interested, the label on the bottle says it contains water, tomato paste, brown sugar, corn syrup, vinegar, salt, modified food starch, sucrose, spices, natural flavorings and a couple of chemicals.

One night recently, I actually had the following dream. It is rare that I remember dreams after I awaken and maybe the reason I recalled this one was that it came with a decent punchline.

A restaurant opened nearby that advertised itself as featuring the best dishes from now-defunct restaurant chains. Not a bad idea when you think about it. The proprietors, they said, had tracked down the owners of the extinct eateries and made deals to use their recipes and also their logos, so you could go in and get a simulation of some meal that you used to love at a chain no longer in business.

On the slim chance that they had included Love's in their repertoire, I raced to the restaurant and on the outside saw a display of the logos and names of the long-gone dining establishments whose menus were involved. As happens in dreams, the specifics were fuzzy…but I saw all these famous logos and in the middle of them was the one for Love's.

Ecstatic, I raced inside and took a seat at the counter. A waitress offered me a menu but for some reason, I declined. "Just bring me one of everything from the Love's section," I told her. "We only have one item from Love's," she said. "Whatever it is, bring me five of them," I said. Again, I have no idea why I did this in my dream but, you know, you do things in dreams that don't make a lot of sense. Some of us do things when we're awake that don't make a lot of sense, too.

So I sat there in this dreamed-up restaurant, drooling and anticipating and wondering which of the wonderful Love's entrees would soon be placed before me in quintuple helpings. Their ribs? Their chicken? Their ribs-chicken combo? Whatever it was, it surely came with a side of Love's beans and that's what I was really there for…to eat Love's beans. I waited and waited and waited for what seemed like months…and finally, just when I was beginning to give up hope, the serving lady came over and placed my order on the counter…

It was five vanilla milk shakes.

I'm not making this up. I really dreamed this, punchline and all.

If I Had My Druthers

Li'l Abner is one of my favorite musical comedies. I never got to see the Broadway original but the movie is very close to it and has been watched many a time in my house.

Since no full scale stage revival is imminent, we have to settle for "concert" versions which use minimal sets and smaller casts. I've seen several and last night, I was at the opening for the one currently being mounted by the Reprise! group, which stages shows up at U.C.L.A. This one's there through February 17 and if you're anywhere in the area, get yourself some tickets and perambulate on down to Dogpatch Country and catch it. Abner and his kin are in the very best of hands.

In the above pic, you see Eric Martslof, who has the title role…and the voice and physique to carry it off. So does Brandi Burkhardt, who plays Daisy Mae. Robert Towers and Cathy Rigby play Pappy and Mammy Yokum, and that's Fred Willard, who is properly sinister as General Bullmoose. (Not in the photo: Several other cast members who do outstanding work, including Michael Kostroff, who plays Marryin' Sam, and Larry Cedar, who plays Rufus T. Finsdale, the scientist.) Michael Michetti directed, Lee Martino did the choreography and Darryl Archibald is responsible for the musical direction.

I was struck by how great the show sounded. I always liked the score but the songs were especially lush and melodic last night. And the dancing — and this is not always the case with these "concert" performances — was amazing. Given how little rehearsal they get, it's an achievement that people are up there dancing at all, let alone this good. The hoofing was energetic and athletic and an awful lot of fun, especially a sequence where Ms. Rigby put her gymnastic skills to good use.

Yeah, the story's kinda silly. (Near the end, the police arrest General Bullmoose and haul him away. I defy anyone who sees the show or movie to explain to me exactly what they're going to charge him with, especially given the fact that they don't arrest Evil Eye Fleagle.) But if a cast hits the right joyous tone, it works well…and it worked well last night on the stage of Macgowan Hall. Which is where you'll hightail it before the 17th if you have a lick o' sense.

If I haven't done a sufficient selling job on it here, take a gander at a preview over on this page. And if you want to order tix — as of this afternoon, there will still some left — this page is where you want to go.

One other thing! There are two Saturday matinees ahead and each is preceded by a lecture on the history of the Broadway show. Each starts at Noon and runs an hour. Then, if you have tix for the matinee, you have to kill an hour…which is easy to do on the U.C.L.A. campus. (I killed several years there.) They clear the house and then the matinee performance commences at 2 PM.

This coming Saturday, February 9, the lecture will be delivered by my friend, the eminent historian of the theater, Miles Kreuger. And then on February 16, the lecture will be delivered by me. Both of us will have one or more special guests from the original Broadway production in attendance…I hope. For more information and the number to phone for reservations, check out this page.

Go Read It!

Jay Huber tipped me off about this interview with John Cleese. You might enjoy reading it.

Today's Political Rambling

I have a special e-mail address that I use to register on political websites where you have to register. Since I read a lot of them and over a diverse range of views, that address gets thousands of e-mails urging me to vote this way or that way or to not vote…and of course, almost every message includes a pitch to give money. A lot of them don't say much more than…

Don't you just hate and loathe [name of candidate]? Aren't you terrified that if [name of candidate] gets elected, your family will be [pick one: attacked, bankrupted, destroyed, etc.]? Well, we have the way to stop [name of candidate] and you can make it happen if you only send us money.

Stuff like that. If I were more cynical and mercenary, I think I'd just set up a batch of websites — one for every candidate out there with a disapproval rating of over 15% or so — and push the idea that I'm close to unearthing the scandal that will destroy them, once and for all…if only people will give me enough cash to complete my mission. Because of sheer competition, I don't think I'd get a huge amount of money but I bet I'd get enough to make it worth my while.

This morning, I took a peek in the mailbox of my special e-mail address. There were 12,000 messages in there, which I think is the maximum the inbox can hold. In perfect symmetry, the first five were pleas to donate to destroy Hillary Clinton, Mike Huckabee, Barack Obama, John McCain and Mitt Romney. I have a hunch the Romney Destroyers aren't going to be getting many donations after this morning.

The anti-Hillary and anti-Obama messages were from different addresses but obviously from the same author. They were both pushing John McCain with the following odd (to me) pitch…

There are seven undeniable reasons why we must elect John McCain. One is the War in Iraq and the other six are six Supreme Court justices who are over the age of 68.

I don't think the first of those reasons is going to do it for Senator McCain. Not with every single poll saying that Americans now oppose the War in Iraq by around a two-to-one consensus. They may be personally fond of the man — I am or at least was when he wasn't out pandering for the Limbaugh voters — but when it comes down to voting for four more years of Stay the Course? I don't think so.

And as for the other six reasons: If you're presuming that being over 68 means the person is likely to die in the next four years, is that a good reason to vote for a guy who's 71?

Catch a Rising Scab

Yesterday in the class I teach in Humor Writing at U.S.C., we somehow segued from talking about the current Writers Strike to discussing the Great Comedians Strike of 1979. That was when the comics working The Comedy Store, the Improv and a couple of other L.A. clubs decided it was time to demand payment for appearances which had previously been pro bono.

This article, excerpted from a new book by Richard Zoglin, will give you the basics. It's an accurate portrait to which I would add one point. If you're going to read it, read it first and then come back and read the rest of this post.

Okay, you're back. The thing I'd add is that at the core of the comedians' complaint was that they felt what they did — their product, if you will — was being seriously devalued. It's very much like the way cartoonists are always asked for free drawings by people who think it doesn't cost them anything to give away what they do for a living. The Comedy Store, which then as now was/is run by Mitzi Shore, was big news at the time — a lot of careers had been made there — and every newspaper article or TV feature seemed to be driving home the point that comedians worked for free; that professional comedy was not something a club owner or talent booker had to pay for.

Imitations of The Comedy Store were popping up all over the place. Entrepreneurs thought there was a gold mine there, especially since they wouldn't have to lay out money for their star attractions. There were all sorts of stories about night clubs that had previously hired musical acts, and now the owner thought, "Hey, let's stop paying musicians and bring in stand-up comedians. Comedians work for free!" I heard one comic telling others how he'd received an offer to go play a club that was opening in Bakersfield. The money offered was insulting and when he told the proprietor that, the guy responded, "Hey, you should be grateful I'm even offering anything. The Comedy Store doesn't pay you a cent."

If it had just been a matter of The Comedy Store not paying, it might not have been much of an issue. There was an undeniable value to playing there for some. But it was a matter of stand-up comedy everywhere being viewed as something that didn't warrant payment, no matter how much cash the club was raking in when you were on stage.

I was even affected by it. I was writing for a comedian friend who, to put it simply, couldn't afford to pay me. In fact, after he performed, we'd go down to Carney's just down the street from The Store for burgers, and I'd have to pay for us both; that's how broke the guy was. A year or two later, he began getting paying gigs and making a decent living…but for a time there, it was just insulting that he had to live the way he was living, having to promise me that some day, he'd pay me what he owed me. (He did, by the way.) During this poverty period, he had a hard time explaining to his family and friends why, if he had what looked like a job and if they had to pay to go see him, he had to borrow the money to just get some new clothes to wear on stage.

The strike was a nasty thing, as most strikes are. Ten years later at a party, a comedian who'd crossed the picket line and one who was on that picket line almost came to blows over it, and I can think of a few combinations I still wouldn't want to gather in the same room. And as with so many strikes, the outcome seemed inevitable…and you had to wonder why they had to go through all that to get to that point. Alas, because of human intransigence, it is sometimes necessary. When the current Writers Strike ends, we'll be pondering why they couldn't just have given us that same deal back in November and made it easier on everyone…including themselves.

By the way: Several folks have written to ask what I think about the premise that the current shows hosted by Leno, Stewart, Colbert and a few others are really being ad-libbed or written by their stars, and that no scabbing is going on. I think the premise is absurd and I'll write more about this in the next couple of days.

Today's Video Link

This is from some film or TV show of the fifties…Eddie Jackson and Jimmy Durante entertaining the heck out of a roomful of extras. It's four minutes and I'll bet it makes you smile.

Briefly Noted…

I'm back from opening night of Li'l Abner, as staged up at U.C.L.A. by the Reprise! group. When I have time tomorrow, I'll post a review but I just wanted to mention that if you're within commuting distance, get tickets and go. It's very good.

(By the way: I'm swamped with yet another deadline so the next few posts here are ones that I wrote some time ago. If you're the guy I'm working for, don't think I'm writing on my weblog instead of your project.)