As has been my custom for many a year now, I won't be watching The Oscars tomorrow night…and neither will the sizeable audiences that used to tune in for such events. Many reasons have been bandied about for America's mounting disinterest in award shows but I think it comes down to two…

REASON #1: Today, there are so damn many movies released and so many TV shows, that very few people have seen a majority of the nominees and therefore don't particularly care who wins.

REASON #2: We're kinda sick and getting sicker of all these world-famous rich people taking turns praising each other and acting like being in Show Business is the pinnacle of human existence. Too much of it sounds to me like the old Sammy Maudlin Show on SCTV where "stars" sat around trying to outdo one another in describing each others' greatness.

I don't think the host matters much…though they're always blamed if the ceremony underperforms in the ratings. I think seeing what the women are wearing matters a little bit to some viewers. I think it matters to some that it's a live event and there's the chance of something unpredictable happening. And there are always a few great acceptance speeches or presenter remarks…but you can catch them all on YouTube before the telecast runs its closing credits. (If I did a REASON #3, it would probably be that the show's just too blamed long.)

I have no predictions on who or what'll win, by the way. I saw two-and-a-half movies in the past year: Saturday Night, Wicked and half of Anora, all viewed not in a proper theater but on my home TCL screen. Saturday Night, I liked with reservations but I don't think it was Oscar-worthy and apparently neither did the nominators.

Wicked, I liked but because of its serialized format, it didn't feel like a complete movie to me. I also believe I made a mistake even watching it on a 40" screen. A film like that needs something way bigger and I'm thinking that when Part Two comes out — assuming Part One is available again in theaters then — I'll go see both in the proper sequence, maybe over two nights. And while I know a lot of people loved Anora, a lady friend and I gave it up halfway through and I've felt no compulsion to see the rest…so I really didn't see it. Maybe it's wonderful in toto.

So I'll just make this two-part prediction: That the Academy has hustled to make sure Gene Hackman is in or around the "In Memoriam" segment…and that Monday morning, there will be voluminous web posts from folks outraged at certain performers not being included and therefore being "snubbed." (Those who get outraged about such things only complain about omitting performers; never directors or writers or cinematographers or studio execs, etc.)

As you know, Conan O'Brien is hosting. I used to say that it felt wrong to me if the host was not (a) a big movie star or (b) Johnny Carson but a friend convinced me that nowadays, no big movie star would agree to host, lest a bad performance tar the career they really care about. I also hear that Johnny's hard to book lately, what with him being dead and all. Conan is a host I really liked during the first decade or so of his Late Night program but I expect he'll do fine, especially if he doesn't try to turn it into The Conan O'Brien Show. Like I said, the host doesn't matter much. Then again, neither do The Oscars.

I see that Donald What's-his-name told reporters that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is too "negative" about Vladimir Putin. There might be something to that from a negotiating standpoint but I dunno…I think I'd have a hard time thinking good thoughts about someone who launched an invasion of my country leading to a million estimated casualties, wholesale destruction and a possible loss of all freedoms.

Glenn Kessler explains how Trump is simply wrong about who's giving financial assistance to Ukraine and how they might be paid back, at least in part.

Meanwhile, some of Trump's aides are complaining that Zelensky doesn't say "thank you" enough. Daniel Dale lists 33 times that the gentleman from Ukraine has thanked the U.S. and its leaders. That's more than I thanked the first woman who slept with me….but not many more.

I couldn't find a good video of Gilbert Gottfried's stand-up online so here's a 1992 George Carlin special…

Today would have been Gilbert Gottfried's 70th birthday so the folks at Cracked rounded up a whole mess o' folks to tell seventy Gilbert Gottfried stories.

I only knew the guy a little. Met him once. Did his podcast once. But I thought he was very funny in a way that no other comedian was ever funny. You just looked at him and started laughing even before he said anything because you knew that what he would say was going to be (a) funny and (b) outrageous. There are a lot of guys who can do one but not both and, of course, there's nothing sadder than a comedian being outrageous without being funny. That was never a problem with Gilbert. He always delivered on both counts.

Like (I'm sure) most of you, I'm aghast or appalled or asomething about what happened today between that guy who occupies the White House, his next-in-the-line-of-succession and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The whole thing with Ukraine has been a bad, bad situation from Day One and today, it got even worse.

Kevin Drum thinks today's brouhaha was engineered by Trump in a desire for revenge against Zelensky for not digging up dirt on Joe Biden when then-President-for-the-first-time Donald demanded that as a quid pro quo for U.S. aid to Ukraine. Everyone else who's shocked — and both views could be right about this — think it's all about Trump trying to deliver Zelensky's country to Big Daddy Putin.

I dunno what to think except that it's bad, real bad. Fred Kaplan may have the best take on it. Don't write me about this, folks. I don't want to think too much about it.

The new head of the Department of Health and Human Services seems to know about as much about health and human services as I do about…well, you have a lot of things to pick from there. But he seems especially clueless about measles — which is a real disease with a real history of being controlled by real vaccinations. One of the things that frightens me about the current government-slashing that's going on is this concept that you really don't have to know about an important matter in order to oversee it and to decide how to downsize that division.

It's horrible what they're doing to the National Weather Service which is one of the most efficient things that our government does for us. This is one of those "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" things…but various Republicans keep looking at it and saying, "Wow, think how much money someone could make off this if we privatize it!"

A Garry Shandling special from 1991…

I've received a few questions about the Celebration of Life for Mike Schlesinger on April 6 — the one I announced here. Here are the answers and you can figure out the questions from them. It's kind of like Jeopardy!

• No, we will not be able to stream it live but we're talking to various folks about bringing in video equipment and recording the Celebration and putting it online. This would include the speeches and the clips we show but — obviously — not the feature film.
• I will be the emcee. The other folks organizing the Celebration are Saratoga Ballantine, Jerry Beck, Joe Dante, Catherine Dickerson, Howard Green and Steve Stoliar.
• We have loads of people who wish to speak but — as I've learned you have to do with events like this — we're selecting a small number and giving them limited amounts of time. (I was the host for a June Foray Memorial in 2017. If we'd let everyone who wanted to speak have a turn at the microphone, we'd still be there.)
• The version of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World we're showing is the general release version with the intermission. It is not the version with the footage that was cut a few weeks after the movie's initial release in 1963. I'm pretty sure there is no 70mm print in existence that includes those scenes.
• You don't have to have been a close friend of Mike's to attend. You will not be interrogated at the door about your relationship. But if you respected his accomplishments (which were many) and wish to pay some of those respects forward, you are welcome.
• We're receiving a steady stream of reservations but I can't tell you how long you might have to decide if you're coming. There's a good chance we'll "sell out." The event takes place in 38 days but don't take all that time to decide.
• If you wanna be there, here's the e-mail address. Tell us how many seats you want and if you're staying for the movie. You will receive an e-mail in a few days confirming things and telling you a bit more about the event.
• And just in case my remark about about a possible "sell out" confuses you, there is no charge to attend. Thank you.

There is much tragedy to be found in the mysterious deaths of Gene Hackman, his wife and one of their three dogs. And one of the tragic aspects is that no matter what the official explanation is, some folks won't accept it strictly because it is an official explanation. And some of the non-accepters will insist it must be something far more sinister…and also more world-wide significant. Like they were killed to prevent them from exposing some vast conspiracy fomented by whoever the theorist thinks is the current Root of All Evil in the world.

Less attention will be paid to the fact that Mr. Hackman was a magnificent actor with a magnificent body of work.

Donald Trump and Elon Musk are still claiming that a lot of Social Security payments are going to people who are 100, 200 and even 300 years of age. This is, of course, not true and it's debunked here by the Associated Press, the only major news service in this country that knows the Gulf of Mexico is still the Gulf of Mexico.

We'll get back to stand-up comedians tomorrow. Here's my longtime pal Scott Shaw! on MeTV the other day…

Last Saturday, that president of ours spoke to the friendliest audience he could possibly have — at the Conservative Political Action Conference. Still, he said an awful lot of things that were demonstrably false. Daniel Dale goes down a long list of them.

The Original Pantry, a landmark Los Angeles restaurant, is on the verge of maybe/possibly shutting down after operating in this city since When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth. I mean the Age of Man, not the movie. It was (note the past tense) a wonderful 24/7 place to grab a steak or other very American entree and an especially great place for breakfast. That was true until a slow but an almost-tangible downslide began in 1980 when a gent named Richard Riordan purchased the place.

Mr. Riordan was the Mayor of Los Angeles from 1993 to 2001 and not, in my opinion, a particularly good one. That didn't matter much because the way Los Angeles is set up, the mayor has about as much power as one of those 25-cent batteries they used to sell at RadioShack — the kind you could put into your transistor radio and hear about half a song before you had to swap it out. We used to say, "His skill as a politician put him where he is today — in the restaurant business." He also ruined a great eatery called Gladstone's out by the ocean in Santa Monica.

Mayor Riordan was a nice man — I ate with him once and liked him despite Trumpian politics — but all his businesses suffered or shuttered. He passed away two years ago.

I'll tell you how great the Pantry was, once upon a time. You usually had to wait a long time to get in — and we did. And then once you were seated at a table, they immediately served you an unasked-for dish of cole slaw…and I still went there. The food was good, the food was cheap and the place was kind of legendary. It was open 24/7 and its owners, including the former mayor, bragged that they never, in all its seeming centuries of existence — actually since it opened in 1924 — were closed or without a customer.

Then COVID hit and they closed…and I think they did also once or twice to correct health code violations. Lately, they've been open not every day at every hour but Wednesdays through Sundays from 7 AM until 3 PM on weekdays and 5 PM on weekends. You'd think that if they could only turn a profit during those hours, someone would say, "Hmm…maybe we're doing something wrong."

So I don't go there anymore and neither do enough people for the place to be open at night. I feel bad for its employees, some of whom have been there since it was a great place to dine but I'm already seeing on the Internet, people who haven't eaten there for decades saying, "This is a landmark…we need to save it." And my thinking is that it's a little late for that. Someone should have begun applying corrective measures before it turned into a Denny's — and not a very good one.

A Ricky Gervais stand-up comedy special…

The cable/streaming channels MeTV and MeTV Toons run this cute li'l show called Toon In with Me hosted by Bill Leff and his finny friend, Toony the Tuna. They run classic cartoons and talk about cartoon history and on tomorrow's episode, the subject is the great animation director, Tex Avery. They will be joined in this by my longtime friend and co-conspirator, Scott Shaw!, who worked with Tex at Hanna-Barbera. You can tune in or you can toon in but don't miss it.

The schedule says it airs on MeTV at 7:00 AM on MeTV and 11:30 PM on MeTV Toons but with streaming channels, it's best to double-check what time things air in your area.