Recommended Reading

I'm sorry. I do not believe anyone who says they're not sure if waterboarding is torture. Well, maybe if the little old lady who lives across the street from me said it…though come to think of it, she watches the news. She knows. The political candidates and nominees and such in our government all certainly know and when they hedge and balk and decline to offer an opinion, they're lying just as certainly as anyone ever lies about anything. It's torture and they know it and they just don't want to say it.

Malcolm Nance knows it's torture. How does he know? Because he has "led, witnessed and supervised waterboarding of hundreds of people." If you even suspect he might be wrong or that the point is arguable, spend a few minutes Googling and searching the 'net. See if you can find a single article from someone that says, "Oh, I've supervised waterboarding hundreds of times. It's not at all unpleasant and in the right company, it can even be rather enjoyable. On our anniversary each year, my wife and I take turns waterboarding each other."

Thanks to Dan Gheno for pointing me towards that article. Hey, Dan! Next time you're in town, let's get some of our friends together and have a big waterboarding party! We'll see who can dispense the most phony information in order to make it stop.

Friday Morning

Nothing's changed in the WGA/AMPTP situation since last night but I thought it might be useful to summarize where everyone is at the moment…

The WGA Board and Negotiating Committee are meeting, probably right this minute, to decide when to strike. Everyone assumes it'll be a.s.a.p. but one thing our leaders have managed to be in this whole matter is Not Easily Predictable. There may be some kind of other strategy in play, like trying for a time to keep the town just on the cusp of a strike. I haven't heard anything about this; just suggesting that one of the WGA's strengths may be in being fast on its feet, whereas the Producers are more or less committed to doing things the way they always do. There are six major, multi-national corporations who have to agree on a change of battle plans for their side, and we all know how tough it can be for even one of those corporations to alter the way it does business, especially when it thinks those methods have generally worked.

The Producers say they are ready to continue discussions and that "a deal could be closed this weekend." But as far as I know, that's only possible from their point of view if the WGA will walk in and say, "Okay, let's forget that nonsense we were spouting about getting a better share on DVDs and other new technologies." More likely, that would be phrased as, "Okay, let's accept a token, meaningless increase in those areas and let's agree to a three-year study to determine how that marketplace will work, and then we'll fight this same battle in the next contract but in the meantime, you'll have three years more of getting to keep all that dough for yourself." However it would be stated, the WGA ain't about to say it.

Various studios are scrambling to plan what, if anything, they're going to tape or film next week. Most shows probably have two schedules and they're waiting for the WGA announcement this afternoon to see which one will prevail. On many, it may be possible to continue for another week or so with material that's already been through much of the pipeline. The networks are probably continuing to order up episodes of "reality" shows and game shows that they don't really want to broadcast.

And a lot of peripheral folks are worried. Script coordinators and people who run TelePrompters and guys who deliver croissants to the set are all wondering if and when their income streams will be halted. This is one of the real tragic aspects of all this. The people who are responsible for the strike — the studio heads and corporate execs — won't be missing any mortgage payments. Some writers might but, of course, they're doing this for their own livelihoods and they feel forced into it by the Producers' actions. The Wardrobe Assistant who may be laid off if and when their show goes dark…that person is like collateral damage.

In truth, some of the non-writers whose jobs may be affected do stand to gain from all this, at least in indirect ways. There are many unions in Hollywood where the members do not receive residuals directly or share in home video revenues but they do indirectly. In many cases, the employers contribute to the union's health and pension plans via a formula based on the kind of residual structure that the WGA is out there defending. Others profit in other ways from the WGA upholding the idea that those who do the hiring must respect the dignity and importance of those they hire. Still, there will be those who will suffer during a battle in which they have no self-interests and that's regrettable. You really wish there could be a better way to do this but unfortunately, the folks who have the real power in the industry think they do jes' fine with this one, most of the time. This is not going to be one of those times.

Striking Questions

A lot of e-mails pouring in with questions about the WGA strike. Before I get to answering, let me underscore that I am not a WGA official. I am not on the Board or Negotiating Committee — boy, am I happy I am not on the Board or Negotiating Committee — though I was on a big Strike Study committee some years ago and I was heavily involved in some of our past walkouts. That said, here are some questions and my answers…

What happens to the late night shows like Jay and Dave and Conan and The Daily Show and The Colbert Report?

Probably reruns. No one expects any of those shows to remain in production without their writing staffs. The one exception, if the rumor mill is correct, may be Jimmy Kimmel. Depending on when the strike is called, this coming Saturday's Saturday Night Live may not happen. If it does, it may be the last for a while.

Will scabs write the shows?

One would certainly hope not. It's bad for my union, it's bad for the shows and it's usually even bad for the scabs. Not only are they then subject to disciplinary action or exclusion if they later try to join the Guild but the folks they aspire to work with usually don't think much of them, either as writers or human beings. (Those two categories are not mutually-exclusive.)

Why don't the directors, actors and writers all just link arms and strike at the same time for a better cut on DVDs?

Well, for one thing, because they don't all have the same interests. It's sometimes rough enough for those guilds to serve the wide disparity within their own ranks, let alone some other union's. The Producers would have little trouble formulating a proposal that would benefit one of those unions at the expense of the other two…and then what happens? You'd like to believe that would not disrupt intra-union solidarity but the truth is that it probably would.

Also, unions cannot just strike whenever they feel like it. When they do sign a deal for three or four years or whatever, there's a thing called a Contract Bar that essentially says the union will honor the pact for the entire term. If they walk off the job before the contract expires, they're legally in breach of that contract. The one exception to this is if the union has a "conscience clause" in its contract, which means that the worker may refuse to cross another labor organization's picket line and not be in breach…but very few unions have that clause. The Teamsters do, which is why it's such a big deal that they're in solid support of the WGA effort. They can, if they so elect, refuse to deliver to a struck studio or to provide other services that would involve crossing a picket line. The Casting Directors are now in the Teamsters.

I'll post more of these tomorrow.

Recommended Reading

Fred Kaplan on the mystery of why Karen Hughes has left her post with the Bush Administration. I know why. She was in charge of improving America's image overseas and she figured out that in order to change that, we'd have to change what we do over there.

WGA Report

And now it's later and I'm home. Here, as they say, is the lede: Yes, the Writers Guild of America is going on strike. When? They'll tell us tomorrow. The Board will vote tomorrow morning and we should have an announcement by mid-afternoon. The sense is that tomorrow is the last day there will be any non-scab writing of TV and movies for a while.

Obviously, a strike is not good news but I came away from the meeting feeling good about the situation. I already had confidence in our leadership and now I have a lot in the membership. We haven't had a strike since '88 and an astonishing percentage of the current WGA membership has joined since then and, some feared, might not understand the occasional necessity. That sure doesn't seem to be the case. The hall was packed with, all in all, a pretty youthful crowd. There seemed to be a solid grasp of what's at stake and what must be done to achieve it. There was also, I should add, a lot of joy at the gestures of support from the Screen Actors Guild and the Teamsters.

I've been going for more than half my life to WGA meetings where we were either already on strike or talking about it. This is the first where there was no dissent; no one outside passing out leaflets or taking the audience mike to make the case for accepting Management's latest offer. In this case, I don't believe we even have an offer that we could accept but even if we did, no one seemed to feel this was the time to grab at such a thing. (One group was passing out leaflets but I don't think they were against the strike. Matter of fact, I read the one I got and I'm still not sure what it was trying to say.)

A couple of folks at the microphones in the aisles did ask how long the strike might last. Our leaders couldn't exactly say this but I think the answer is "Nobody knows." A certain amount of this is out of our hands and out of sight…the internal squabbles of the AMPTP. One should never underestimate what can happen if all those powerful people are bickering among themselves, nor can you discount the idea that they'll stick with a rotten battle plan simply because they can't believe it's not working. For the most part, long strikes in this town occur because someone has drastically misestimated the opposition and is stuck without a Plan B. That was clearly what the long '88 Writers Guild Strike was all about. The Producers thought we'd take a crummy offer, we didn't — and they were left in a pretty impotent position with their negotiators mired in a strategy that hadn't worked as predicted. Are we in for this again? Sure looks that way.

Undoubtedly, you will hear some say, "The WGA could have played it smarter…done more to head this off." I don't think so. You can't really negotiate with an entity that believes its greatest strength is in its refusal to negotiate; that strives to avoid the concept that these things ever have to be a two-way street. They do, of course, and at some point this will probably be settled by some good, old-fashioned give-and-take. But we're still at the stage when the Producers are unprepared to abandon the idea that they hold all the cards and we can only win what they'll let us win. That works for them most of the time but I don't think it's going to work this time. Not based on what I saw tonight.

Live WGA Blogging

This is me actually blogging at you from inside the WGA Membership Meeting. I want to pay attention rather than sit here and fidget with this micro-mini keyboard and anyway, it's supposed to be confidential, even with umpteen thousand writers in the house. But I don't think it would be wrong to report here that the place is packed, that the attendees are solidly behind the Guild Leadership, and that if the Producers think they can intimidate this union into a crappy, status quo deal, then somebody on their team has pulled a Paul Wolfowitz and is in serious need of firing. This Guild is serious and together and not about to fold. Tell you all about it later.

Leaving Now…

Off to the WGA General Membership Meeting to find out when we strike. Blog ya later.

Set the TiVo (Maybe)

I know a lot of folks who read this site are still interested in the Kennedy Assassination. Sunday at Noon (Eastern time), C-Span2 is airing a live interview and phone-in session with Vince Bugliosi, who I assume will be talking mostly about that. The announcement makes it sound like he'll be taking calls for three hours. However long he's on, it oughta be interesting…maybe not three hours' worth of interesting, but interesting.

Ain't Too Proud to Beg

I'm planning a trip to New York later this month and attempting to procure house seats for Young Frankenstein. One by one, acquaintances and friends who've told me they could arrange these for the new Mel Brooks musical are finding out that they can't. I can apparently get house seats for anything playing in town except this one show…

…unless someone reading this has the necessary connections. If you are such a person, please do let me know.

For TiVo Owners Only…

If you have a Series 2 or Series 3 TiVo and you transfer recordings to your home computer, you will want to play around with VideoRedo Plus. It's a pretty good video editor but, more importantly for us, it works directly with ".tivo" files and will also convert them effortlessly to several other formats. With it, I could record an episode of Phenomenon on my TiVo, transfer it to my PC, edit out all the commercials and stupid parts and then put the show back onto the TiVo for viewing. Of course, I'd wind up with about a three minute show but…

Recommended Reading

The National Journal had a bunch of health care experts evaluate the various plans for "universal" (actually, expanded) health care from the various folks vying for the Oval Office. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the Democrats' plans fare better than the Republicans' if one really wants something that will achieve the stated goals.

I am reminded of a sketch that my friend/hero Stan Freberg used to do with a moon man puppet named Orville. Orville would announce that his people were offering to give Earth a nuclear device. The dialogue (Freberg providing both voices) went like this…

INTERVIEWER: We already have a nuclear device.

ORVILLE: Ours is better.

INTERVIEWER: Why is yours better?

ORVILLE: Ours doesn't work.

I was thinking of that the other day when I was listening to Mitt Romney explain the value of his. He was almost whispering aloud to his supporters, "Don't worry. Mine won't change anything. In fact, it may even make things so much worse that we'll all be able to say, 'See? Government health care is always a fiasco!'"

Spleenk!

donmartin01

"Spleenk!" is the sound of me smiling. I've received and am generally enjoying MAD's Greatest Artists: The Completely MAD Don Martin, despite the fact that it's yet another fancy repackaging of stuff I already own. I did not resent paying for this collection of all the work "MAD's maddest artist" did for MAD Magazine. It's a handsome, classy two-book set with pages a bit larger than I was expecting. It also has decent reproduction, which has not been the case with every MAD project.

I'm happy to have these slipcased volumes on my shelf — or will be, just as soon as I can figure out what shelf the thing will fit on. If you'd like to go "Spleenk!" like me, here's a link to order your copy.

Today's Video Link

This runs six minutes and the video's terrible…but it's kinda funny. It's an excerpt from the Hollywood Squares game show during the period when it was hosted by Tom Bergeron. Let's go to Gilbert Gottfried for the win…

VIDEO MISSING

WGA Stuff

Haven't spoken to anyone this evening but the word across the 'net is that the Producers are holding firm on the following position: That there will be no increase for Writers in DVDs and they define "DVD" as including when your show is downloaded via the Internet, and they probably define it to include several other forms of delivery, as well. Furthermore, the AMPTP is saying, until the WGA drops its demands in that area, there will be no movement on any other part of the contract.

The WGA is unwilling to drop that. Our leaders certainly are not…and while I'll know more about the mood of the membership after tomorrow night's big meeting, I suspect the rank 'n' file are overwhelmingly in the same place on this.

Which means we're looking at a strike, probably but not necessarily as of tomorrow night.

I've received a number of e-mails — some from writers but mostly from folks who are not in the WGA — asking if I can briefly summarize what the conflict is all about. I believe I can and will attempt to do so in the following two sentences…

There's a ton of money being made in DVDs and other forms of home video and these amounts are expected to skyrocket. For as long as possible, the Producers want to keep as much of it as possible for themselves.

Believe it or not, there really isn't much more to it than that. What's more, regardless of what they may say in public, everyone involved knows that that's what this is about.

You'll hear and read a lot about recoupment and softness in traditional markets and deficit financing and all sorts of biz-babble and some of it may even be true. But it's by and large irrelevant to the core of the situation, which is that the companies want to maximize profits and the people who run them want to maximize their own personal take-home pay and bonus moola. They don't want to say that even though everyone knows that…so they put up the smoke and mirrors and say, "Gee, we'd love to cut you guys in for a better piece but there are all these complicated business-type reasons why we can't." The folks explaining that do not buy it for one second when it comes time to negotiate their own compensation but, you know, this is how the game is played.

Do not believe there's anything going on here other than the situation I just summarized. Yeah, there are issues about respect and creative controls and minority hiring and screen credits and a number of other things, and I'm not suggesting they don't matter. They matter a lot but they don't matter enough for either side to allow a strike to happen over them.

To underscore that point: As I was typing the above paragraph, I received my copy of tonight's mass e-mailing from WGA Prez Patric Verrone. It says, in part…

After three and a half months of bargaining, the AMPTP still has not responded to a single one of our important proposals. Every issue that matters to writers, including Internet reuse, original writing for new media, DVDs, and jurisdiction, has been ignored. This is completely unacceptable.

It's also completely typical, as you'll see if you read back through some of my past postings on the subject.

This will be my fourth (or is it fifth?) strike since I joined the WGA. In every one, I've lost something…some important project went away, some break broke. On the other hand, I've done okay through them because my income has never been wholly dependent on work that the WGA covers. The real pains have come from the distraction, the emotions, the politics and labor of striking, and the holding of hands (figuratively) of friends who are frightened or hurting. I believe that some of those 4-5 strikes were mismanaged from our side but on the separate question of whether any given strike was warranted, I never felt we had a choice. I don't see that we have one this time.

Music Man

One of the best things about the classic Warner Brothers cartoons is the music. It was almost all the handiwork of a brilliant man named Carl Stalling who died in 1972. Fortunately for history, he was interviewed a few times before he left us…by Mike Barrier, Milt Gray and Bill Spicer. Barrier is sharing some of that material with us over on this page of his website.