If you ever have the inexplicable urge to install software manufactured by the Symantec Corporation, resist. Instead, just take the computer out back and lob it into the pool. The result will be pretty much the same and you'll save time.

For techie-type reasons that have nothing to do with me, this website (and my e-mail) will be down tomorrow (Friday) night for a period of up to five hours. Try not to get too upset about it.

So how are we doing for meeting those benchmarks that are supposed to measure progress in Iraq? Not so good, sez Fred Kaplan.

Roger Ailes is now the head honcho at Fox News Network. In 1970, he was a Republican media consultant…which was pretty much the same job. Back then, he authored an interesting memo about Nixon's TV manner and they have it over at The Smoking Gun.

Here's the end of the Marx Brothers movie, The Big Store, with Charles Lane doing what he did so well and so often: Playing a mean old authority figure…

The Richard M. Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, California is undergoing a makeover. They're taking out the lies.

George W. Bush says enough dumb things that most of us just shrug, accept each as a quirk of his personal style, and let 'em go. People thought Bill Clinton's "I didn't inhale" line was weasely and character-defining but Bush says something at least as clumsy every day. Yesterday in this speech, he said the following…

The immediate goal is to make sure there are more people on private insurance plans. I mean, people have access to health care in America. After all, you just go to an emergency room.

Question: When was the last time George W. Bush — or anyone else he might care about — had to seek treatment for an injury or illness in a hospital emergency room? It can take forever — even if you have health insurance — because those places are full of people who don't have insurance or can't afford doctors. In many cases, perhaps the majority, they've put off treatment they can't afford until it's become too serious to handle. One of the reasons we have a health care crisis in this country is because so many folks use emergency rooms as a substitute for actual, normal medical care.

And the only reason they have even that is that we have a law in this country that says that emergency rooms cannot turn people away. When Bush and his supporters inveigh against the perceived evils of "socialized medicine," they're attacking laws like that one. I really wonder what these people want the poor and ill to do if it isn't to just die quietly.

If and when we get into one of the upcoming (and likely) strikes in the Hollywood labor scene, a name you may hear often is that of J. Nicholas Counter III, who is the President of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. Basically, what he is is the Point Man for Hollywood labor negotiations. The unions all negotiate with a multi-employer bargaining unit called the Motion Picture Association of America and Counter is the guy who coordinates between them.

Let's say the Directors Guild demands that every movie set have a plentiful supply of onion bagels. Let's say that Time-Warner, which is one member of the multi-employer bargaining unit, says that's fine with them. Let's say that Disney, which is another, says absolutely not. Disney, like all of the core member companies, has the right to veto any contract. It then becomes Mr. Counter's job to haggle, talk, cajole, coordinate and otherwise settle that blockade. Often, it amounts to turning to the directors and saying, "No, you can't have the onion bagels." That's how strikes happen and why it sometimes takes so long to settle them.

This article will give you a nice overview of Mr. Counter and how he operates. Take note of the mention in there of Lew Wasserman who, in a time before massive conglomerates owned studios, could get on the phone, make three calls and tell everyone involved to knock off this crap and just give the directors their damn onion bagels and get the strike settled. Counter's job these days is not that easy.

During the '88 Writers Guild strike, I had two occasions to talk at some length with Nick Counter. One time, he was with Jack Valenti, who was then the President of the M.P.A.A. — i.e., Counter's boss — and we spent most of that time talking about Lyndon Johnson, for whom Valenti had once worked. (Valenti said, "My job mainly consisted of being called an asshole every hour or so by the leader of the free world." Counter then interjected something like, "Jack treats me a little better than that.") The other time though, Counter and I were alone and he impressed me as a man who had to deal, day in and day out, with forces that were no less reasonable than L.B.J. — and almost as powerful. I happen to think that whole strike went on as long as it did not because of anything the WGA was demanding but because the various studios couldn't all get on the same page at the same time. Which is not to suggest anyone else in Counter's position could have done a better job getting them to agree.

I don't know how things have changed since '88 but obviously, Nick Counter's still in that critical job because they're happy with how he does it…from their viewpoint. My spider-sense tells me that the next big strike may be way beyond his ability to contain.

And by the way…isn't that the perfect name for a guy in that position? Nick Counter. My first driving instructor was Mr. Brake but this is even better.

We have Shelly Goldstein to thank for today's video link. Ms. Goldstein, by the way, is performing this coming Saturday evening in her show, One Fine Day: The Groovy Girls of the 60s at The Gardenia, a club situated at 7066 Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood. They may be sold out by now but if there are seats available, you can snag 'em by calling (323) 467-7444. Everything Shelly does is highly recommended by us.

Now then: The video link…and actually, it's two for the price of one. First up, we have one of my favorite dancers, Gwen Verdon on The Ed Sullivan Show some time in the sixties. One assumes the number was choreographed by Bob Fosse…

And now, here's the same video again…but in this version, someone has changed the music. I shouldn't like it this way but I do.

I'm not sure I understand this at all.

Fred Kaplan reviews Bush's latest Iraq speech. Short summary: Nothing's changed except the level of hysteria.

Leonard Maltin phoned a little while ago to tell me that actor Charles Lane had passed away at the too-early age of 102. If you've been with us on this weblog for a while, you've read many a message about the amazing Mr. Lane. Rather than write a new obit saying old things, I refer you to…

• This post, in which we summarize the long, hard-working career of one of Hollywood's great character actors.
• This post, which was all about his 100th birthday party.
• This post, which was about a salute to Charles Lane on the TV Land Awards that year. (See below.)
• This post, which was about an appearance I attended where they screened The Music Man — one of the eight jillion movies in which Charles Lane appeared — and he was present to discuss it and his work.
• This post, which was about one of the other eight jillion films.
• This post, which congratulated him on his 101st birthday.
• And this post, celebrating his 102nd.

Not much more I can add to all that except that at the screening of The Music Man and at the TV Land Awards, he reminded everyone that he was still available for acting work. I'd be curious if anyone took him up on it. Here's a video clip of that TV Land Awards moment, which focused on his television work and ignored the eight jillion movies…

From the Associated Press…

Doug Marlette, the North Carolina-born cartoonist who won a Pulitzer Prize and created the popular strip "Kudzu," was killed in a car accident Tuesday morning in Mississippi, authorities said. He was 57.

More details here. And elsewhere on your Internet.

Isn't it sad watching a once-honorable man sell out all his principles in order to get somewhere…and then not get anywhere?

Hard to believe that another Comic-Con International is in our immediate futures but 'tis. If you're thinking of going, it would be a good idea to register in advance. Otherwise, there's a very good chance you won't get in, especially on Saturday.

Any day you go, there will be loads of fun things to do and see. The convention crew has posted the Programming Guide so you can see what events you won't be able to attend because they're opposite other events you want to attend. Here's the guide for Thursday. Here's the guide for Friday. Here's the guide for Saturday. And here's the guide for Sunday.

But to save you time, I've prepared a guide of the events you really want to see. They're the ones I'm hosting. Here's that all-important list.