The brilliant cartoonist Stan Sakai reports on a recent trip to Belgium and France. With pictures, no less.

This is probably making the rounds of all your e-mailboxes but I enjoyed it enough to stick it up here. It was forwarded to me by a fine actor named Alan Oppenheimer who has to have lunch with me soon so I can present him with some tapes of a great TV show he was featured on called He and She. Consider this a formal invitation, Alan.

1. Do not walk behind me. Do not walk ahead of me. Do not walk beside me. Just leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like "The Force." It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Jeffrey Toobin on the demise of habeas corpus. Someone needs to come up with a term to describe things like this…when a political party passes a bill which they'd fight to the death to stop if it had been the other side's idea. I really think Democrats could have killed this if they'd had the sense to have Bill Clinton propose it first.

At the risk of sounding like a Tom Slick cartoon: We're coming to you today from Muncie, Indiana where I spent the day meeting with Jim Davis on an upcoming Garfield project. This is my third-ever visit to Muncie and it's still too level for me. You'd think a guy with Jim's money could spring for a few bucks and buy the town a hill or something.

Despite being a Big City Boy, I feel quite comfy in this environment, at least as long as it ain't snowing. In the past, I made a lot of sarcastic remarks about how it's odd to be in a place where the big cultural event is watching them change the french fry grease at Arby's, or how someone found out I was Jewish and asked to have his picture taken with me. Not only did people back home expect that but the ones here seemed to expect it, as well…and I was willing to comply. The truth is that I don't find it all that different. I mean, I can find differences within walking distance of my home in Los Angeles. I don't see a place like Muncie as much more different than that. The folks I meet are as pleasant and witty and just as likely to meet any standard of "hip" as anywhere else I've been. You see some different brand names on stores — though not many — and there's less traffic here and less hurry. But you can also get that within commuting distance of Hollywood if you know where to look.

Carolyn and I had a nice drive here on Monday from Columbus, Ohio in a Hertz vehicle equipped with their "Neverlost" Global Positioning System. I'd never used one of those before and even though I had printed directions (courtesy of Mapquest), I found it helpful to have the little lady telling me to get ready to take the right fork in .5 miles or whatever. If I ever went anywhere new, I'd get one for my car at home. Then I'd see if I could reprogram it with cartoon voices…you know, maybe get Joe Alaskey, who does Sylvester these days, to record, "Sufferin' Succotash! Hang a left at the next Tweety Bird"…or have Snagglepuss telling me to "Exit, off-ramp right." The other idea would be to get one with the voice of my first lawyer. Then I'd just do the exact opposite of everything he instructed me to do and I'd get to each destination without a single problem.

Not much else to report from Muncie except that I'm having a little trouble sending e-mail out of the hotel's Internet connection. If you await a reply, it may have to wait until I'm back in my own time zone.

Whadda ya think? Wanna see another one of those Private Snafu cartoons that the Warner Brothers guys produced during World War II? Okay, just for you: Snafuperman is unusual in that it references another studio's films — the Superman cartoons being produced for Paramount we've been watching here lately — and even uses a few bars of the theme song for that series, presumably with their permission. This one came out in 1944, directed by Friz Freleng. Mel Blanc did most of the voices but there are a couple of lines in there from Tedd Pierce, who was one of the WB gag men and an occasional voice actor. (One other example: Pierce did the voice of the Bud Abbott type cat in "A Tale of Two Kitties," which we linked to here.)

Fred Kaplan says George W. Bush is blowing one chance after another to stabilize problems around the world and to benefit U.S. interests.

— as I just did — that I posted a link to an article about how webpages can be an exercise in ego, then posted a long message about how much weight I'd lost. I didn't do that intentionally.

What were you doing six months ago today? Six months ago, I had just undergone Gastric Bypass Surgery. I was being wheeled out of the Recovery Room where the last thing a nurse said to me was something like, "We're all going to miss you around here." Still groggy, I muttered, "I'm going to miss me around here, too," which at the time sounded to me like a clever thing to say. I'm still not sure what it meant or even what I thought it meant at the time.

In those six months, I've lost about 86 pounds…which, added to the 20 or so I'd dropped in the six months prior to that, means I've lost more than some people weigh. Every time I see June Foray now, she says, "Mark, you've lost an entire me!" I'm still shedding about a pound a week — a process my doctor now thinks will continue for another 20-30 weeks before things stabilize. This will put me at the high end of the recommended weight for my height…though if I stayed right where I am today, that would be quite livable. (Hard to believe but even after 65 pounds of Mark had disappeared in the first 65 days, I still came across charts on which my height/weight stats classified me as "Morbidly Obese.")

At the Mid-Ohio Con in Columbus, I answered a lot of the same questions several times. How do you feel? I feel great. What do you eat? Just about anything I want, though I don't want as much and I don't eat as often…and softer, moister foods go down better than tough, dry meals. What was the worst part of the whole thing? The bills. Were you scared? No…not a bit. Maybe I should have been but I wasn't. Is it fun buying all new clothes? Not really. I'm buying pretty cheap stuff because I can't wear it for long before I have to give it away and get something smaller. Would you recommend it to others? Absolutely not.

Well, let me expand on that last one. If I could guarantee that their experience would go as well as mine, yes. But I think I was fortunate in my choice of surgeon, in the presence in my life of a real good general practitioner who gave me a lot of support, and in the fact that — girth aside — I was in pretty good shape before the surgery. I know because this surgeon made me get every kind of examination and physical short of running an Early Pregnancy Test before he'd agree to constrict my innards. Part of my decision came down to realizing that I was going to do it eventually…and now was better than later when things would only have deteriorated.

But no, it's not for everyone and if you're not sure you want to do it, you probably shouldn't. What I will recommend is that if you think you might be a candidate for Gastric Bypass, do a little research…and not just on the Internet. On the web, you can find out what nearby hospital has a department that specializes in the procedure. (What you don't want is a surgeon who'll squeeze one in for you between nose jobs and polyp removal.) Almost all such departments have some sort of orientation and information process, usually involving a free group meeting with a surgeon and maybe a PowerPoint presentation. The one I attended felt a little like they were trying to sell me a time share in Maui but there was some solid information and a chance to ask questions. It also helped me just to see other people who were considering the surgery, if only so I could think, "Well, if that guy can do it, there's no reason I can't." And beyond that, actually making the appointment and going was a first step to taking command of a problem that was too often controlling me. Research on the 'net is great but sometimes, it's a poor substitute for actually doing something.

I should tell you that I'm a big believer in the concept that we're all different in many ways and that a cure (or a religion or a certain restaurant or any of a number of things) that is wholly positive for one person may yield naught but grief for another. When people tell you what worked for them — how they lost weight or quit smoking or broke that annoying habit of midget-tossing — that's fine but that's them. Clearly, ways that others lost weight did not work for me…so mine may not work for you. At the same time, I will add that I think there are some people whose bodies are such that they can no more lose weight via diet and exercise than they can flap their arms and fly to Jupiter. Gastric Bypass Surgery may be a tactic you consider when all else fails…but the reason less drastic methods have failed may not be because you didn't try them hard enough. It may be that your body just plain doesn't work that way.

So I don't recommend doing it but I do recommend that if you need to lose more than the total body weight of June Foray, you at least look into it.

Michael Kinsley on personal websites and the ego inherent in them. When I started this site, its address was "www" plus my last name plus "com," but that struck me as just too self-interested so I changed it. I don't think I'd feel that way today.

Time now for more timeless racial sensitivity with another Superman cartoon produced back when we hated the Japanese. I mean, you kind of know what you're in for with a cartoon called "Japoteurs," right? This one was released on September 18, 1942. I thought Bud Collyer did Superman's voice but now I think maybe not. However, that's definitely Jack Mercer in there, providing the lines for the main Japoteur. Over and out.

Another twist/turn in the history of Bud Collyer as Superman. An item or two ago here, I quoted Tony Tollin, who quoted Jackson Beck who said that Collyer had Aphasia when he recorded the Superman cartoons for Filmation and someone feared he wasn't up to the job. Brian Pearce writes the following, which I should have caught…

That strikes me as difficult to believe. Those Filmation cartoons appeared in 1966 while Collyer was still the host of To Tell the Truth on CBS (once a week in prime time through 1967, and five days a week through 1968).

A good point. If Collyer was up to emceeing that show, he was certainly healthy enough to record a cartoon voice. On the other hand, Jackson Beck was the announcer on that animated show, and he was a pretty smart, reliable guy. Collyer died in September of '69 so if he had a period when he was unable to perform, it would have to have been rather brief. I don't think any of the Superman cartoons were produced after '68 but perhaps there was some public service spot or short featurette and the anecdote was in reference to that.

We're still reeling at the news of Dave Cockrum's passing. In case I didn't make it clear in the earlier item, Dave was one of those folks who was genuinely liked. People liked his work but they also liked the guy who did it. He had an enthusiasm for what he did…or at least, he had it up to the time when taking care of his health became the dominant concern in his life. Earlier this evening at the con here — I'm still in Columbus — a bunch of us were sitting around, lamenting how Dave didn't get to do so many projects that he wanted to do. And how the fact that he wanted to do them made you feel that they would have been really, really good. He and I were going to do a John Carter of Mars graphic novel once but the deal fell through. I don't think you missed anything by not getting my story but he was so excited about doing it that I know it would have been a very nice book.

Neil Gaiman has a nice piece up about Dave. Give it a read.

And I wanted to express my thanks and sympathies to two people who did so much to take care of Dave over the years. One, of course, is his beloved spouse, Paty. I never got to know Paty like I knew Dave but I know she kept him alive for years and years, despite some formidable misfortunes. Thank you, Paty. And then there's Clifford Meth, who was Dave's agent and (even better) his friend…who ran fundraising activities when Dave couldn't afford much-needed medical treatment, and who arranged with Marvel to pay Dave a pension. They didn't do that for very many of the people who gave them their top properties but they did it for Dave, and we have Cliff Meth to thank for that.

Several people have asked me for an address to which they can send condolences. I'm told Paty doesn't want to deal with that flood right now, and I can well understand that.

One quick Dave story. Dave and I did a couple of Blackhawk stories together. I thought he did a fine job but Dave was never satisfied with anything he'd done. We were at some San Diego Con, coming back from lunch when an attendee pounced upon us — and "pounced" isn't a bad way to describe what this guy did. "I've been waiting to get you both to sign this," he exclaimed, thrusting an issue at us. I scribbled my name but Dave took a few minutes with his inscription. He signed the first page of the story and then he flipped to page four or five and drew something in the margin. I couldn't see exactly what it was but it looked like a hand. As we walked off, I asked him what it was he'd drawn.

He said, "I decided I drew Blackhawk's hand wrong in that panel so every time I sign a copy, I draw it right in the margin. I've done that about thirteen times now."

I said, "You can't fix 'em all, Dave. They printed 150,000 copies of that issue."

Dave grinned through that beard of his and said, "Okay, so I've got 149,987 to go." How do you not like a guy like that?

Matt Welch examines the views of John McCain. For what it's worth, I think McCain is a mass of self-contradictory views. He thinks we need more troops in Iraq…but doesn't seem to have any idea where they'll come from. He says that the issue of abortion should be a state decision, not a federal one…but he's voted for every federal-level anti-abortion bill. He backs a wide array of ethical/moral bills, like those to stop torture or clean up campaign finance…but he doesn't seem to mind when his own political allies take measures that neutralize his work in these areas. I think that's why I find him so disappointing. At times, he seems to actually stand for something and I don't like being fooled like that.

Above is a photo of Clayton "Bud" Collyer…looking more like a demented gigolo than a busy radio actor/announcer. Anthony Tollin, who knows more about this kind of thing than I do, writes the following with regard to the Superman cartoon just featured on this here site…

Actually, Bud Collyer only did the early Fleischer cartoons, and departed around the time Famous Studios took over. Collyer reportedly quit voicing the cartoons because he couldn't get a raise that would compensate his traveling time to the New Jersey recording studio. Sounds likely, since he was one of the busiest actors and announcers in NYC radio, and lost time equaled lost money for someone who was sometimes doing a half-dozen radio shows a day. It's clearly not Collyer in most of the Famous Studios Superman cartoons. It's less clear in this cartoon since the Man of Steel has only a couple of lines, but it doesn't sound like Bud to me. I've seen unconfirmed claims in print that Michael Fitzmaurice played Superman in some of the Paramount cartoons. It certainly doesn't sound like Fitzmaurice announcing this cartoon, based on how he sounded in his surviving Adventures of Superman episodes (actually just one and a short fragment of another) and announcing Nick Carter, Master Detective.

It does sound like Joan Alexander as Lois, though I rather doubt that Dan McCulloch did voices in these cartoons. He was a commercial announcer, not an actor, and didn't become involved with radio's The Adventures of Superman until some time after Kellogg's Pep came aboard as sponsor beginning January 31, 1943. Of course, McCulloch only did the Kellogg's Pep commercials while the story narration was handled by Roland Winters (aka Charlie Chan), then scriptwriter and director George Lowther and finally my late friend, Jackson Beck. Most of the early syndicated Superman transcriptions were narrated by writer/director Jack Johnstone, while the final 1950-51 ABC season that starred Michael Fitzmaurice was narrated by Ross Martin (of Wild, Wild West fame).

BTW, Jackson Beck told me that Bud Collyer was suffering from Aphasia when he reprised his famous radio role in the 1960s TV cartoons produced by former Adventures of Superman radio director, Allen "Duke" Ducovny. Jackson couldn't believe that Ducovny would consider using Bud under these circumstances, but Duke correctly insisted that Bud would come through when the Bud could barely get out any words at all in conversations with his fellow actors, but through sheer will power was near letter perfect when performing as Clark Kent and the Man of Steel.

Anthony's probably right. My knowledge of the New York based cartoon voice actors ain't as good as it oughta be. But here's something of a mystery: The voice of Jack "Popeye" Mercer is fairly obvious in this cartoon and since he also worked as a storyman, he was probably living wherever the cartoons were produced…which at this point in time was Florida. Joan Alexander, Bud Collyer, Michael Fitzmaurice and all the other radio actors who have been identified in those cartoons were working — sometimes, seven days a week — in New York.

I can't imagine them being flown down to Miami to record — as Tony notes, Collyer couldn't even spare the time to get to New Jersey — nor would they have flown Mercer up to New York to record a voice that a thousand other actors there could have handled. So where were the voice tracks for these recorded? And were they, like the concurrent Popeye cartoons, post-dubbed — meaning that the voices were recorded after the animation was completed? There's virtually no precise lip-sync so I suspect the latter…but for that, they really had to get all the actors together in the same session. They wouldn't have recorded some in New York and some in Florida.

Anyone know what the deal was there?

I've been going to comic book and s-f conventions since 1970…shortly after they cancelled Star Trek and a lot of us were happy to see the last of it. I have been to good conventions and bad conventions, big conventions and small conventions. I've even been to cons that were supposed to be big but turned out small. There was one where I agreed to be one of eight judges for the Masquerade…and only four people showed up in costume.

Some of my favorites have been mid-sized and some of my favorite mid-sized conventions have been Mid-Ohio Cons. Every year, on the Saturday and Sunday following Thanksgiving, Roger Price throws one in Columbus, Ohio — and whenever I can get there, I'm there. In fact, I'm there now. This year's ended this afternoon and, apart from the bummer news about Dave Cockrum, a good time was had by all.

I did two panels — one with former Marvel talents Dick Ayers, Herb Trimpe, Gary Friedrich and Tony Isabella…and one with the longtime editor of MAD, and therefore one of my personal heroes, Al Feldstein. To answer a question I always get when I write here about panels I've done: No, neither was recorded…but I suspect you'll be able to enjoy a close replay of the Feldstein interrogation at next year's Wondercon in San Francisco. Al is scheduled to be a guest and I'm scheduled to subject him to more of my relentless prying. (Remind me to get him to repeat the tale of how he tried to get Bill Gaines to hire Harvey Kurtzman, years after Kurtzman had left MAD, to come back and edit a companion magazine.) Glenn Haumann was in the audience and he "liveblogged" a few choice comments.

Here's the obligatory Namedropping Section. In addition to the folks on the panels I just mentioned, I talked with Dan Mishkin, Roger Stern, Joe Edkin, William Messner-Loebs, Craig Boldman, Matt Haley, Beau Smith, Dennis Mallonee, Brian Kane, Matt Feazell, Bob Schreck, Don Rosa, Thom Zahler, Michael Davis, Bob Ingersoll, Mark Wheatley…and I know I'm leaving a whole bunch of people out. Also had a nice reunion with Joyce DeWitt, who most of you will recall from Three's Company. Joyce was on a special I produced many years ago which also starred Ted Knight, Howie Mandel and the voice of half of Western Civilization, Frank Welker. She was a real trooper throughout a grueling tape session that went into the wee, expensive hours of the morning and I never got to thank her properly for her total professionalism. I had to come to Columbus, Ohio to thank her. Also had a nice talk with her Three's Company co-star Richard Kline, who was so good in that production of Company (the Sondheim one) I reviewed here many moons ago.

One other thing I liked about the con is worth a mention: The facilities. The hotel, which is the Hyatt Regency in downtown Columbus, is quite pleasant. It's not plush, it's not fancy but our room is nice and the staff is friendly and the hotel/convention center layout is ever so convenient. From our hotel room to the convention was about a three minute jaunt…close enough that you could dash back and forth to pick up or drop off things, far enough away that you were removed from the con when you wanted to be. There's a food court on the lower level, a friendly restaurant and bar on the second — plus the rooms for panels — and the convention is on the third floor. (The hotel sleeping rooms start on the fifth floor. For reasons no one seems to know, the hotel has no fourth floor. Maybe one of those people who likes to steal towels decided to graduate to bigger things and made off with it.)

Anything I didn't like? Yeah. Across the street is a restaurant called Max & Erma's where we — Tony Isabella, Bob Ingersoll, Carolyn Kelly and Yours Truly — had a dinner this evening that could make you yearn for a Denny's. It was all stuff that wasn't food to begin with, dipped in kerosene and fried to the consistency of linoleum…and that was just the salad. When we got back to the con and joined folks gathered at the bar, everyone told us they'd dined there on one of the two previous nights and hated it. Gee, everyone…thanks for keeping it a secret. Next con I go to, I want a big Local Restaurant Review Board posted in the lobby. And even if it's in another city, I'm going to warn everyone away from the Max & Erma's in Columbus. You can't be too careful about these things.

If you can make it to Mid-Ohio Con next year, do. Just stay away from you-know-where.