Our acute shortage of older comedians grows ever worse with the passing of Red Buttons, who died this morning at the age of 87.

If you never got to see Red in person, you missed a wonderful experience. I was fortunate to be present perhaps a half-dozen times at local events — once at a tribute to his former writer, Larry Gelbart; another time at Stan Freberg's anniversary party — when Red got up and launched into a monologue that, as the saying goes, brought the house down. He performed with a devilish twinkle and a spot-on sense of timing, always pausing the precise number of micro-seconds before delivering a punch line. The guy was just plain funny.

For many years, he was a frequent performer at roasts where he employed his "Never got a dinner" routine to great success. He was very fussy about that material. He had piles of lines but he always wanted fresh ones. When I worked with him on a variety show in the seventies, he said he'd do the bit if we, the writing staff, wrote some new material for it. I think we wrote around a hundred jokes to get the five or six he thought were up to his standards…and we didn't mind it at all. Because Red knew what worked for him and you had to admire the devotion to delivering the best possible routine.

Most of the obits (like this one) will probably emphasize Red's 1957 Academy Award for his work in Sayonara — and the man was a very fine actor. I thought he was especially good in They Shoot Horses, Don't They? But there are plenty of great dramatic actors around. We're running out of great old comedians…and at an alarming pace.

An author-friend of mine is writing a book with and about a rather famous celebrity. In discussing his formative years, the celebrity recalled a comic book strip he followed when he was young, and the author-friend has asked me to try and identify it. Here's how the celebrity described his childhood fave…

I've always had, I guess, what most people would think of as the kindest reading of it, a much wider concept of what a family is than most people have. I remember I got busted for reading a comic book. It was my favorite comic book with a flashlight under my blanket, about a group of various orphaned kids who had somehow found each other and all joined together to live on a ranch together and survive and they came under, there was some adult who took over the father figure part and the mother figure, and I remember thinking that that was all how it should be.

The celeb was born in 1941 and lived at home until around 1959 or 1960. His comic book reading years therefore might have been as early as, say, 1948 or as late as the mid-fifties. He recalls the feature in question as one that never earned its own book and appeared instead in an anthology comic or as a back-up strip.

I'm stumped. It doesn't sound like the Simon-Kirby Boys Ranch to me and while I can think of a couple of other candidates, not one of them fits exactly. Anyone else got an idea?

It's a blooper reel from the original Dick Van Dyke Show. What more do you need to know?

Well, the embedded videos don't seem to be the problem so I've put them back. For reasons I cannot fathom, a number of people are reporting that connecting to this website causes their computer to lock up. Nothing has changed in our configuration so I'm at a loss as to what's causing it. If anyone has an idea of what's causing it, please let me know.

The other day, I stopped in at a small shopping center and made a few purchases at an Office Depot. On my way out, I witnessed a curious scene: A couple in their thirties (I'm guessing) walked up to the door and looked puzzled, like they were not expecting to find an Office Depot there. They looked around, then they asked an employee near the entrance where the Chinese restaurant was. The employee said there was no Chinese restaurant in the shopping center. The couple was even more puzzled but they staggered away and headed back for their car.

I didn't think much of it until earlier today when I was driving by that same shopping center. I chanced to notice that the way the buildings were configured, one of them cast a thick, black shadow across the large Office Depot sign, which was not lit. With a large part of that sign in darkness, it looked roughly like this…

And I thought: I wonder if that couple thought they'd spotted a new restaurant called the Rice Pot.

A number of folks — and I think they're all on Macs — have written to tell me they've been having trouble accessing this page for the last day or three. I haven't changed a thing so I'm guessing it has something to do with the embedded video links. I've just taken a few of them out to see if it makes a difference. If you're a person who was having trouble getting to this page lately and now you can, drop me a note and let me know. And tell me what kind of computer and browser you're using and whether you're having trouble accessing Cartoon Brew. Thanks.

Bob Thompson was one of the great composers and arrangers of fifties pop music and also of commercial jingles. In the sixties, he wrote the music for a fun little record album called That Agency Thing, which was kind of an audio musical about the ad agency business. I gather it was mainly intended as a showpiece for the writing of Alan Alch, who wrote the sketches and lyrics. Mr. Alch was also a noted writer of jingles and TV themes (he composed the theme song for the Chuck Connors show, Branded). Together, they produced this catchy record that utilized the vocal skills of some top voice actors of the sixties — Byron Kane, June Foray, Paul Frees, Howie Morris and Herschel Bernardi. And yes, the mention of Mr. Bernardi in the previous item is what reminded me that I wanted to link to this.

I'm generally against the downloading of record albums on the Internet but since Mr. Thompson's company has put That Agency Thing on his website, I guess it's okay. You can listen to it or download it here.

Also, Bob Bergen (the current voice of Porky Pig) calls my attention to this page where one can listen to many an episode of The Mel Blanc Show, a radio program that Mel did in 1946 and 1947. As Bob notes, it's fascinating to hear so much of Mel flexing his comedy and vocal skills.

Mr. Bergen, by the way, will be a panelist on one of the Cartoon Voice panels I'm hosting at the Comic-Con International in San Diego. We have a good crop of actors who will be demonstrating how they do what they do. If you've never attended one of these, you've missed some of the best panels at the convention. Don't continue to make that mistake.

Here's a classic TV commercial from the late sixties…a spot selling Tootsie Roll Pops. It was originally a minute long but some time in the seventies, the Tootsie Roll people decided it was a darn good commercial and trimmed it from sixty seconds to thirty, which is the version here. I don't know who did the voices of the kid or the turtle but the owl was played by Paul Winchell and the announcer at the end is Herschel Bernardi.

This is an actual obituary that ran the other day in the Richmond Times-Dispatch. They say Mr. Clark wrote this himself and if so, I'm guessing he left the date and cause of death blank for someone else to fill in…

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006. True to Fred's personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids. He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy's wife, Sara Morgan Clark. Fred's back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn't abide self important tight *censored*. Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician's outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate. His final wishes were "throw the bums out and don't elect lawyers" (though it seems to make little difference). During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, "he was often wrong, but never in doubt". When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower — on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French – the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don't go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives. No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred's life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information. Fred's ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years. Additionally, all of Fred's friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, "Fred who?"

Matthew Yglesias writes about how Republicans seem obsessed with the concept of the Missile Defense System and won't be dissuaded by little details like…oh, like the fact that there's no reason to believe it can ever work.

In the meantime, Art Buchwald — who went into a hospice to die — has left it just as alive as when he went in.

In the pictures above, the man on the left is Jack Kirby, hailed by many as the most important creative talent ever in the comic book business. The guy on the right is Johnny Carson, who has often been called the biggest star ever in television. What do these men have to do with each other? In 1982, Mr. Carson got confused about something and inadvertently made some slanderous remarks about Mr. Kirby on The Tonight Show. Mr. Kirby was very upset about this and filed a lawsuit against Mr. Carson. It was all settled with an on-air apology followed by an exchange of money.

On Friday, July 21 at the Comic-Con International in San Diego, I will (as usual) be hosting the annual Jack Kirby Tribute Panel. It starts at 2 PM in Room 8 and we'll have members of the Kirby family present, along with four top comic book artists — Neal Adams, George Perez, John Romita and Mike Royer — discussing Jack's work. That alone oughta pack the place. But we'll also take some time to flash back to the Great Kirby/Carson War. I'll be showing videos of both the original Carson statements and of his apology, and we'll be hearing from Paul Levine, the lawyer who represented Jack in that matter. I showed this tape a few years ago at a panel but (a) we didn't have time to tell the entire story and (b) a lot of folks have asked to see it again. So there's yet another reason to attend this fine panel…as if the chance to learn more about Kirby was not reason enough.

Some time ago, I linked to a clip from a 1990 TV special starring Penn and Teller entitled Don't Try This At Home. Today, we have the finale from that special in which Penn drives a truck over Teller…a nice little stunt aided by my pal, Victoria Jackson. It runs about eight minutes. Go for it.

Here's an interesting rumor that's making the rounds of Las Vegas news sites…

As you may know, the Harrah's company owns a lot of hotels in Vegas. In addition to Harrah's, they own the Imperial Palace, the Flamingo, Bally's, Paris, Caesars Palace and the Rio. The Rio is off the Strip but the other hotels are all on Las Vegas Boulevard in a group. Caesars is across the street but Harrah's, the Imperial Palace, the Flamingo (and its companion casino, O'Shea's), Bally's and Paris are all in a line, one right next to the other…with one gap. Right in the middle there is the Barbary Coast, which is owned by Boyd Gaming. The Barbary Coast, located at the choice corner of Las Vegas Blvd. and Flamingo, is the one thing that stops Harrah's from owning this huge, continuous mass of casino land. (They also own several properties right around the corner on Flamingo.)

So the rumor is that a deal is being finalized for a swap: Harrah's would get the Barbary Coast and Boyd would get the Rio plus either a ton of cash or another hotel to be named later. This would be good for Harrah's because they could link all their properties into some kind of mega-megaresort. But it might be even better for Boyd. The Rio is a much bigger hotel than the Barbary Coast…to say nothing of the money or other hotel they'd score in the deal. They could also link the Rio with the hotel next door — the Gold Coast — which they already own. (This map will give you an idea of how the properties are currently distributed.)

As I said, this is a rumor…but it sounds credible. And it could change the whole face of Las Vegas.

GSN is currently running its 2006 World Series of Blackjack, one installment per week. I enjoyed the 2005 competition for reasons explained here but this year's is a lot less interesting. For one thing, the contestants aren't as interesting. For another, the hosts aren't as good. (They keep saying things like, "He really wants to win this one," as if it's news that the players have some interest in not losing.)

There's also a lot of annoying editing and telescoping in each episode. Each game consists of many hands of Blackjack. How many? I'm not sure because they don't tell you and they occasionally skip a hand or two, even though something significant may have happened in one of them. They'll cut to a little background video on a player or the hotel and when they return to the game, the hosts will say something like, "Well, while we were away, Rosie Piggleworm hit a couple of Blackjacks to take over the lead." Can you imagine watching a baseball game where they don't bother to show you the fifth and sixth inning and instead they just tell you that someone hit a Grand Slam to put their team ahead? A very silly way to cover a competition.

But it's worse than that. Two new rules have been added — rules that, as far as I know, exist in no other Blackjack game or tournament anywhere in the world. One is that twice during the game, the dealer deals out something called a "knockout card." When that shows, it means that the player in last place at the end of the following hand is eliminated. That forces some players to abandon the careful strategizing that is the fascinating thing about Tournament Blackjack and just make reckless, all-in bets.

Even worse is that each player gets one "Burger King Power Chip." This is a shameless bit of product placement and almost every time it's mentioned, the host or player works the fast food chain's slogan into the dialogue and says something like, "This would be a good time for him to have it his way with the Burger King Power Chip." When you play your B.K.P.C., you can discard any one card you've been dealt and get a new one in its place…a cute gimmick that, again, doesn't relate to anything one might encounter in a real Blackjack game. (In tonight's match, a player may have lost not because he played Blackjack poorly but because he didn't know how to use his Burger King Power Chip.)

There's still some nice suspense and moments when you can hear the wheels turning as good players compute their bets. But last year, I looked forward to the weekly installments and this year, I don't care much if I forget to set my TiVo. Maybe they'll learn from this before the 2007 games.

News sources say that George W. Bush will cast the first veto of his presidency if the Senate, as expected, passes legislation to expand federal funding of embryonic stem-cell research.

I don't get it. Why doesn't he just sign it and issue a signing statement saying it doesn't count?