Frank Miller's Sin City

I attended the premiere last week of Frank Miller's Sin City with a certain amount of trepidation…which was replaced by a lot of relief when I found myself liking it. Frank's a friend of mine, and I have occasionally gone to a premiere or early screening of a friend's movie and thought that the featured attraction was a failure of spectacular proportions. So not only did I have to sit there through a movie I might otherwise have walked out on, I had to sit there thinking, "Okay, what do I say to my friend when I run into him in the lobby?"

Obviously, it's a dilemma. You don't want to hurt a pal's feelings, especially on what is usually configured as an evening of celebration for him and everyone else involved in the enterprise. You were invited, you got in for nothing and in most cases, there's a party and loads of free food and beverage. Sometimes, you even get a little goodie bag of gifts, and you'd feel like The Ingrate of All Time to introduce negative energy into the festivities. Most screenings are also publicity events, swarming with reporters and cameras…and that's not the ideal place to say anything less complimentary than, "That's one helluva great movie you made there."

On the other hand, you don't want to lie.

I've discussed this with others who've wrestled with the problem and never found a satisfying answer except to avoid premieres. If you must go — and sometimes, you must — one solution is to say something meaningless like, "I'm going to remember this evening for a long time" or "Only you could have done it" or "I've never seen anything like it." I once almost got away with, "It was so much better than a lot of things that aren't nearly as good." Usually, folks are so eager to hear praise that they react like you'd just given them four stars, thumbs up and a couple of Oscars. Most of the time though, they aren't fooled for one second. They know the trick because they've used it when attending premieres of bad movies by their friends.

It's a problem, and it's often more than a matter of not wounding a buddy's ego. I once attended the cast-'n'-crew screening of a movie that was so dreadful, most of us knew we were present for the funeral of its maker's career. The writer-director was a very nice guy with some successes to his credit, and he'd spent years getting this movie made. If effort, passion and sacrifice were all that mattered on the screen, he'd have had Gone With the Wind. Instead, he had something a notch below The Gong Show Movie — which, it has long amused me, comes right after Gone With the Wind in Leonard Maltin's books.

Watching my friend's film that night was like watching him enter the Indianapolis 500 and drive right into a wall. And sure enough, it's now been something like fifteen years and no one has let him direct traffic, let alone another movie. It was one of the ten saddest evenings I can recall that did not involve actual death.

I really did have a good time at Sin City. When I ran into Frank after, I may not have expressed that as clearly as I should have but I was still absorbing what I'd seen and trying to isolate what I'd liked about it. I generally do not like violent movies and have been known to walk out on them. (Years ago, I was dragged to see an awful film called Flesh + Blood. About halfway through, I turned to my date and whispered, "If Jennifer Jason Leigh is raped two more times, we leave." Jennifer was and we did.) Five or six fewer amputations in Sin City would have been just fine with me and there were moments when the relentless grittiness was a bit numbing, which was perhaps the desired effect of it all. But ultimately, you have to accept or reject the movie they made, and I chose to accept it…and not just because that was easier than telling Frank, "That was…uh, an experience." I genuinely thought it was a good movie.

In a completely separate sense, I am really enjoying its success. Years ago, Jack Kirby told people — to generally deaf ears — that a good comic book was a storyboard for a great movie. "It's all there on the page," he said of many comics he did that he felt could and should be translated to the screen with little amendment. He was not talking about how someone could make a Hulk movie that would take some ideas and imagery from the comics and insert them into an adaptation that was largely the creation of others. He was talking about the movie as an extension of the comic book, involving the creators of that comic book in the process, as Frank was involved in the production of Sin City. Alas, in his lifetime, Jack got no closer to seeing that happen with his comics than that dreadful Marvel Super-Heroes show of the sixties that used his pages, not because they could be the blueprint for a quality work but because it was a real cheap way to make a cartoon. There's a lot of Kirby in certain shots in Sin City, especially in moments when some character bursts into action. But the key connection I see is that Jack always knew there was a direct bridge between creating comics and directing a motion picture…and Frank's the guy who finally got it built and open for traffic.

WGA Warfare

The battle between the east and west wings of the Writers Guild of America has gotten nastier, as such battles tend to do. For background on this, you might want to click here but maybe a quick summary will suffice. The large WGAw and the smaller WGAe are quarreling over the enforcement of some old constitutional provisions. The WGAw thinks it is owed a large sum of money for services it has provided to WGAe and that a number of WGAe members are legally obligated to join WGAw. The WGAe thinks that this is a not-so-subtle attack on their independence and probably part of a larger plan by WGAw to take over the WGAe.

There is a constitutionally mandated mediation process which should be settling this, and the rules say that mediation should be commencing next week. The WGAe has suggested delaying until July. The WGAw is arguing over some conditions before agreeing to that postponement. The WGAe accuses them of adding "last minute terms," although it would seem to be the WGAe's fault that this was all not discussed sooner. The WGAw accuses them of not being serious about mediating at all and of stalling.

For a time, the WGAe looked like the more reasonable of the two but they've begun taking divisive ads out in the industry trade papers accusing the WGAw of being divisive. The latest one, which I think owes John Kerry an author credit and royalties, accuses the WGAw of declaring war on WGAe and says, quote: "It's the WRONG war at the WRONG time, against the WRONG enemy."

Although I'm a member of the WGAw, I'm not necessarily on that side. I guess my main view is that it's a pretty sad state of affairs that two organizations that exist to settle disputes with our employers cannot even begin to settle one between themselves. There may be a good argument for a merger at some point but a strong, united labor organization is not going to quickly result from a hostile takeover.

Mystery Solved?

This morning at breakfast, I ran into veteran comedy writer Arnie Kogen, who worked for a time on The Dean Martin Show. Arnie left before they got to the roast episodes I mentioned here but I figured he'd probably know who the writer was whose initials, "GB," appeared on that script excerpt I posted. He thought it was George Bloom. Sounds right to me.

Tit for Tat

Several of you have written me to express disappointment in the recent Laurel & Hardy fest on Turner Classic Movies. Films started at odd times and some of the prints were not up to the usual TCM standards. I am told that the folks there are well aware of the problems and they're already working to rectify matters when the films are repeated in a few months.

TCM reminds me of those "repertory revival cinemas" that a lot of us used to go to in the days before home video…the ones that would show a different double feature every evening. A friend of mine who managed one explained the big problem to me. You advertise that six weeks from now, you'll be showing Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon. A day or so before, the prints arrive from the distributor and they're terrible: Scratches, faded scenes, pops on the soundtrack, missing footage, etc. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it except rehearse your apologies to irate film buffs. I asked him if he could just not deal with the suppliers who sent the bad prints but he said, "I'd have nothing to show besides home movies of my vacation in Phoenix."

The problem should be less in the era of digital video, and it is. But there are a lot of movies that have yet to be properly mastered for broadcast and home video, and I'm afraid a lot of the Laurel & Hardy movies fall into that category. If you live in England or some other Region 2 DVD country, you can buy what I'm told is a wonderful boxed set of films…and, yes, I know it's possible to get a PAL DVD player and TV monitor in this country, and I may wind up doing that. But these great movies oughta be available in this country and be watchable by all. The Hallmark company owns most of 'em and reportedly has the idea that there's not much market for these films. The way they've been putting them out in occasional DVDs made from mediocre prints makes you feel someone there is trying hard to prove that.

Despite the flaws in the TCM presentation, I've enjoyed having a quantity of Stan and Ollie on my TiVo and I played each film at least twice over the weekend. I forgot how much I just like watching Laurel and Hardy, no matter what they're doing. I don't even care that much about the slapstick in the movies. There's something so pleasant and fascinating about the way those two guys walk down the street or carry suitcases or move a piano. I'd rather have good prints and high-quality DVDs…but I just like watching them, the way you like looking at a favorite painting or listening to a favorite tune.

Another Greg Garrison Tale

The Dean Martin Show, debuted on September 16, 1965 and had its last regular broadcast on May 24, 1974, followed by almost six years of occasional specials. A run like that is no small feat, especially with a star who doesn't want to rehearse, and it can probably be attributed mainly to the ingenuity of producer-director Greg Garrison. He had a good creative team, and they kept finding ways to freshen it with new supporting players, recurring segments and good-looking women. For the last season or so of weekly shows and most of the specials, they went largely to a "roast" format. They took the money they'd been spending on musical arrangements, dancers and choreography and put it into more joke writers and guest stars. Each week, some celebrity would be the "Man [or Woman] of the Hour," and they'd trot out other celebs, some of whom even knew the honoree, to insult/praise them.

There was something rather "in-groupish" about the shows. It was like one week, you'd have Don Rickles roasting Telly Savalas and the next week, you'd have Telly Savalas roasting Don Rickles, and you'd wonder if maybe they hadn't taped both roasts at the same time and divided the cue cards up at random. Okay, so it wasn't quite so bad, but it seemed like that. There was an awful lot of cut-and-pasting done, and Garrison did a pretty decent job of shooting and editing. You almost didn't notice that in some of the roasts, especially the later ones, some of the stars who spoke weren't even there, and some weren't there for long.

My friends and I used to watch and try to figure out all the editing tricks. Sometimes, Dean would introduce a speaker — say, Bob Hope — and skillful cutting would make it hard to notice that you never saw Hope in the same shot as Dean or the guest of honor. That meant Hope was taped at another time, possibly on another stage using just a small part of Dean's set.

Or you'd see something like this: Foster Brooks would tell a joke about a fish. Then they'd cut to a shot of Dom DeLuise, seated on the dais, convulsed in laughter. Then they'd cut back to Brooks at the rostrum and he'd tell a joke about a dog. Deduction: They cut out at least one joke between Foster's fish joke and his dog joke…and the footage of Dom was of him laughing at something else altogether. (It may have just been that Garrison told him to act like someone had said something hysterically funny.)

In addition to Garrison's skills, you had the legendary Harry Crane as head writer. (I assume those are his initials up there on the script excerpt. I'm not sure who "GB" is. I thought it was Gary Belkin but he was doing The Carol Burnett Show at the time. And I think George Burditt was writing Three's Company.) Crane, who died in 1999, was a longtime jokesmith who wrote for all the biggies: Dean, Frank, Gleason, Abbott & Costello, even Laurel & Hardy. The roast format required tons of material — more than it seemed because almost everyone's speech was taped at two or three times the length and then pared down in editing. For a time, the crunch was so bad that Harry was buying jokes "under the table" from outside writers, one of whom was Yours Truly. I think I sold him around a dozen, three of which made it to air. He told me that was a good batting average.

Crane was the perfect man for the job because he wrote the way Garrison directed: Cut-and-paste. While I was visiting Harry one day, someone poked a head in and told him that Lorne Greene had dropped out as a speaker on the roast they were taping later that week. The replacement was Ted Knight. Without even interrupting the anecdote he was telling me, Harry ruffled through a pile of pages on his desk, found the Lorne Greene material and went through it, crossing out "Lorne" everywhere and writing in "Ted." The only rewriting necessary was to change one reference from Bonanza to The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

He told me he liked working for Garrison because of Garrison's deal with Dean. Dean would just show up on tape day and read whatever was on the cards. Years earlier, Harry said, he'd practically had a stroke arguing with Jackie Gleason over what was funny. (Harry had a long explanation, which I didn't necessarily accept in toto, of how everything that worked on The Honeymooners was his idea and Gleason had to be talked into it all.) He liked the fact that Greg, in turn, let the writers write what they thought was funny. He also had a great respect for the fact that Garrison could get the show done at all under a time crunch that would have crushed a lesser man.

At the time, I was probably a bit too critical of Garrison's patchwork editing, and I asked Harry if it bothered him. He pointed to a still photo that was up on the wall over his desk. It was from a recent show and it featured Dean, Johnny Carson, Bette Davis, Jack Benny, George Burns and about a dozen other celebs of that stature. "You can't get a line-up like that to come in and put on tuxedos if you're going to take all day to tape a show," Harry said. "Greg does it every week."

This Is Your Life

Next month, if you have any interest in it, you'll be able to buy a 3-DVD set of memorable episodes of This Is Your Life, a series that was broadcast regularly from 1948 to 1952 on radio, from 1952 to 1961 on TV and in various short-term revivals and specials since. Each week, the host — Ralph Edwards in most cases — would "surprise" some celebrity, and that was always the best part of the festivities. The "principal subject," as the show's staff called each week's honoree, would be lured by a friend or family member to a locale where Edwards could accost them with the news that their life would be recalled and celebrated.

In the early days when the show was live, that usually meant getting the principal subject to somewhere within a block or so of the studio from which the show was telecast, surprising them there via remote camera, then during the first commercial break, taking them over to appear on the program. There, before a live audience, their past would be summarized with family members and past associates coming on to tell anecdotes and show their love. There were joyous reunions and there were old photos. And almost as much fun as the opening surprise, there was always at least one moment when the host would adopt a solemn tone and lead us through some heart-rending personal tragedy. The obvious goal was to cause at least someone on stage — preferably, the principal subject — to shed a few tears. This was all parodied on Sid Caesar's Your Show of Shows in what may have been the funniest sketch ever done on television…

Edwards swore up and down that with one or two admitted exceptions — once, for instance, when honoring someone so old that they feared the surprise could be fatal — his crew never told the principal subject in advance. I'm sure that's true. I'm not as sure that a lot of those subjects didn't know. Arrangements had to be made through the star's agent and family, and it's hard to believe that some of them didn't check with the celebrity or tip them off to be properly groomed and ready when the "surprise" came. Heck, it's even hard to believe that some stars didn't tell their agents to call Ralph Edwards Productions and suggest an honor was in order. But if they knew, the show's staff never saw any evidence of that so they could claim it was all spontaneous. (In his recent autobiography, Carl Reiner admits knowing about it in advance when they did his life on the show.)

Only one star — Angie Dickinson — ever refused to go through with it, and that was late in the show's history, when it was done on tape. But it almost seemed to be happening on one of the most famous live broadcasts, which is included on the forthcoming set. The evening of December 1, 1954, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy went to the Hollywood Knickerbocker Hotel, ostensibly to meet with a friend, the famed British theatrical impresario, Bernard Delfont. Mr. Delfont was in on the set-up, as were The Boys' wives and their agent-lawyer, Ben Shipman. Edwards and the live audience were in a theater about a block away, and Stan and Ollie were surprised, none too pleasantly, via a live remote camera and microphone. They were then to scurry on over to the stage during a commercial break but when it ended, they weren't there yet and Edwards was forced into one of the most awkward examples of ad-libbing and time-killing ever seen on network television.

When Stan and Ollie finally arrived, the delay was attributed to slow walking. Some say that's all it was. Others say they were furious at the whole ambush and had to be persuaded to go through with it. Either way, the two of them — Laurel, especially — were clearly undelighted with the experience. On the air, Stan said little. Afterwards, he complained that they'd been tricked into making their TV debut on an unrehearsed and unpleasant TV program. He told one author, "I was damned if I was going to put on a free show for them," though he probably received at least union scale.  (In fairness to the show, one should remember that they couldn't have done it without the participation of The Boys' friends, family and business associates, all of whom must have expected a different reaction.)

Sadly, it was the only time Laurel and Hardy appeared on television apart from the endless rerunning of their old films. Laurel suffered a stroke the following April and by the time he recovered, Hardy took ill and never got much better.

It's odd that the folks behind the This Is Your Life DVD release would pick that episode to kick off Volume 1 of what they must hope will be a long series of releases. The episode is highly available on cheap Laurel & Hardy DVDs and tapes, and it's pretty far from the show's finest hour. Here's a page with more info, including the full list of episodes included. I have the feeling that a lot of folks who buy the set will only watch the first few minutes of each installment.

Recommended Reading

Teller, partner of Penn, comes to a conclusion (with which I happen to agree) regarding the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

Recommended Reading

Michael Kinsley says that the economic goals of Republicans are more often realized under Democratic presidents. I suspect he's oversimplifying but no more than a lot of Republicans are when they argue that Democrats raise taxes and debt. [Washington Post, might demand you register]

Game Show Heaven

Those of you watching GSN's reruns of The Name's the Same have probably noticed that they went through their entire supply of episodes hosted by Bob & Ray and are now into ones hosted by Clifton Fadiman. Mr. Fadiman was a scholarly game show host, more suited to his previous stint on Information Please and somewhat out of place on this one. The most interesting thing about the episode they ran the other night was that one of the panelists was the great playwright, Marc Connelly. I always admired his work, especially his collaborations with George S. Kaufman, but I don't believe I'd ever seen him on camera before. That's one of the joys of these hoary game show reruns — the history you get to see.

GSN has about two weeks of The Name's the Same hosted by Fadiman, and then that brings us to the end of that series. They'll replace it beginning April 18 with a string of old, short-term game shows. One is What's Going On?, which was on briefly in 1954. This was kind of a cute idea. There were six celebrity panelists each week. Three were in the studio and three were in various remote locations, doing something like ice skating or flicking a chicken or whatever. The three in the studio had to guess where each of the other panelists was and what that panelist was doing. A gent named Lee Bowman was the host.

Another is Choose Up Sides, which was an awful program on which Gene Rayburn presided over competing teams of kids doing the kind of silly stunts by which adults were humiliating themselves on Beat the Clock. Fortunately, the show only lasted a little less than three months in 1956 so GSN can't have that many episodes, and something else will soon follow…maybe Two for the Money, which was hosted by Herb Shriner.

In the meantime, they're currently airing episodes of What's My Line? from late 1955 with Fred Allen on the panel. We have less than three weeks before we hit the 3/11/56 show, which was his last. Either tonight or tomorrow night, they should run the one from 11/20/55, on which one of the contestants was George Petty, the famed illustrator of beautiful women. Like I said, there's history there.

Early in the A.M.

I was going to post another story here about Greg Garrison tonight but my lovely friend Carolyn is here, and she's more important than updating my weblog. That's a high compliment since updating one's weblog is pretty darn important. Anyway, I'm going to be busy tomorrow so I may not get to the Garrison tales then, and I have jury duty this coming week. But I will get around to them. Promise.

(Hey, I wonder if the willingness of professionals to serve on juries would improve if they equipped those waiting rooms with wi-if access…)

Moose Mall

dudleyemporium01

As my comrade Jerry Beck notes, the Dudley Do-Right Emporium is going away. It closed some time last year or maybe the year before, and will soon be razed…though parts of it may be preserved for historical purposes. Jay Ward built the place in '71, around the time his last real series, George of the Jungle, ended production. Jay had an oddly-shaped parcel of land up on Sunset Boulevard and part of it was occupied by his studio. He put the gift shop up on a corner of it and stocked the place with Rocky and Bullwinkle merchandise, some of it made especially for the store.

It was always fun to drop into the Emporium. For one thing, you might be waited on by some employee of Jay's studio, some member of his family…or even Jay, himself. A lot of tourists bought Bullwinkle cels and Rocky dolls there, unaware the guy with the handlebar mustache who was taking their money was Jay Ward. Depending on his mood, he might or might not tell them. Once, the story goes, someone asked him if it would be possible to get Mr. Ward's autograph in their book. Jay said, "Well, I'll check but he's usually passed out drunk by this time in the afternoon." Jay took the autograph book into the studio building on the other side, signed the page…then took it back to its owner, explaining, "You're lucky. I caught him before he got to the heavy stuff." On request, he might also procure the signature of his shows' mythical executive producer, Ponsonby Britt.

Most of the time when I went up there, the person behind the counter was Jay's wife, Ramona. Well, actually, most of the time there was no one there and the place was closed. I forget what they claimed their hours were but the truth was that it was open whenever someone there felt like opening it. For the last decade or so of his life, Jay pretty much ran the animation part of his business with the same "if I feel like it" attitude. I worked with him on an unrealized project that, had it gone forward, would have been one of the biggest, most lucrative things to happen to him in years. His partner, Bill Scott, was excited about it. Jay's attitude was kind of like, "Well, if you want to…okay…"

Actually, I'm surprised the Emporium stayed around as long as it did. When it opened, there was a lot of tourist foot traffic in the area, owing to a bank across the street that was always staging events and exhibits. (Does anyone here remember the Guggenhead Traveling Exhibition of Awfully Modern Art? It was a touring show of art parodies and it was at that bank, whatever it was called then, for months at a time. People used to visit it and then hike over to the Dudley Do-Right shoppe to buy Boris Badenov t-shirts.) Nowadays though, no one walks on that part of Sunset, it's darn near impossible to park, and that piece of land has to be worth a fort-yoon. Or at least, it's worth too much to hold a store that's almost never open and which probably didn't make much money when it was. I think Jay did it the same way he did his cartoons: As much for fun as for the income. Sorry that Jay, his store and that attitude are no longer with us.

Today's Political Rant

Above, we see George W. Bush awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to former C.I.A. Director George John Tenet. According to a press release that accompanied the presentation, "The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the Nation's highest civil award. It was established by President Truman and later re-established by President Kennedy. It is awarded by the President of the United States to persons who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors."

Last week, a presidential commission reported, "We conclude that the intelligence community was dead wrong in almost all of its pre-war judgments about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction." Bush says he accepts the conclusions of this report.

So, uh, what's the spin here? Tenet was in no way responsible for the fact that his agency got everything wrong so he shouldn't be denied the nation's highest honor? Getting everything wrong when the U.S. goes to war isn't that big a screw-up? Bush gave the medal when he thought Tenet had done a great job and now doesn't want to embarrass the guy now by saying it was a mistake? Help me out here, someone.

SNL Watch

Just to remind you: The weekend late night rerun of Saturday Night Live is the Show #4 (11/8/75), which was the one hosted by Candice Bergen. It includes a great film bit by Albert Brooks, the first "Land Shark" sketch, and Andy Kaufman doing his bit where Foreign Man does inept impressions. Next week in that slot, they have Show #13 (2/14/76) which is the one where John Belushi and guest host Peter Boyle did "Dueling Brandos."

Speaking of Mr. Kaufman: A major turning point in his career, some said, was a phone survey on the 11/20/82 edition of Saturday Night Live. Viewers during the live broadcast were invited to call in and vote on whether or not to ban Andy Kaufman forever from the show. Depending on which account one believes, Kaufman either suggested the stunt or just went along with it because he expected to either win or to come back on the show thereafter in the guise of Tony Clifton. Neither of these happened. Kaufman lost the vote 195,544 to 169,186 and was never invited back again in any identity, thereby losing an important showcase for his comedy. An hour-long version of this episode, including all the Kaufman-related material, airs this Tuesday on the E! Channel. In the East, it runs at 4 PM and again at 1 AM the following morning. It's the one with host Drew Barrymore and musical guest Squeeze.

Elsewhere on the Web

The always-wise Peter Sanderson reports on the New York premiere of Sin City and certain other related topics.