Yesterday afternoon, I attended one of the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters luncheons. P.P.B. is a group of folks with extensive credits in TV and radio, and every so often, they assemble at the Sportsmen's Lodge out on Ventura Boulevard for mediocre food and good company. The honoree this time was Jack Klugman (seen above left and also at right on the cover of the one issue of the Odd Couple comic book, published by Gold Key Comics in 1971) and among those present to speak about him were Dom DeLuise, Charles Durning, Dick Van Patten and about half the cast of Quincy. Tony Randall and Garry Marshall weren't there but both sent notes to be read. Marshall's said something like, "I really love and respect you, Jack, but obviously not enough to show up at your luncheon."

He also included a plug — one of dozens heard throughout the afternoon — for "An Evening With Jack Klugman," which Guess Who is currently performing at Falcon Theatre in Burbank…a theatre run, by the way, by Garry Marshall.

I've always liked Jack Klugman, ever since I first saw him in a short-lived, utterly forgotten situation comedy called Harris Against the World. When he and Randall did The Odd Couple as a TV show, I had a friend who got me in to watch rehearsals, which I found fascinating. Jack and Tony were quite serious about acting. Even working through a script that they knew would be extensively revised, they discussed every line and what it meant, advised each other on how to read it and engaged the director and producers in extensive, wholly-constructive discussion. Or at least it looked constructive to a kid in the bleachers, A few of those producers later told me the biggest debate in the office was over which of them, Jack or Tony, was the bigger pain-in-the-butt. One said, "When it came to discussing the script, they were both Felix."

There was nothing all that quotable at the luncheon. It was just nice to see all those folks turn out to honor a guy who's been around a long time and done a lot of fine work. If I think of anything else that was said, I'll post it later.

Yesterday, I linked to a short interview with Lynn Johnston, who does the For Better of For Worse newspaper strip. In that piece, there's a reference to a longer interview that ran in the magazine, Hogan's Alley. Here's a link to that piece. (Don't thank me. Thank Nat Gertler, who told me about it.)

Here's a website full of ads from old comic books. For all you Sea Monkey fans. (Thanks to Bruce Reznick for the pointer.)

Here's a short but interesting interview with Lynn Johnston, who does the newspaper strip, For Better or For Worse. And a fine strip it is.

If I were to mention a successful playwright with a background in cartooning, a lot of you would instantly think of Jules Feiffer, and that would be correct. But the description also fits Herb Gardner, author of A Thousand Clowns, I'm Not Rappoport, Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?, Thieves, The Goodbye People and many others. I never had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Gardner but owing to the quirky sense of humor that pervaded his work, I felt like I knew him.

In the late fifties, he wrote and drew a syndicated comic strip called The Nebbishes, which is almost forgotten today. I have a pretty good library of books on comic strip history and I'm not sure it's mentioned in any of them. I remember it being quite funny and being extensively merchandised, mostly for things like cocktail napkins and bar equipment, at a time when strips rarely appeared on items that might be bought by an adult. Around 1960, Gardner gave it up and turned to novels and then plays and screenplays.

In addition to his impressive body of known work, he is said to have done a lot of unknown scripting. Sometimes, it was a matter of secretly assisting friends. Rumor has it he wrote all or most of the funny lines in scripts credited to Bob Fosse, especially in All That Jazz. He also is supposed to have done extensive punch-ups and revisions on some other pretty famous movies and plays by strangers, but information on these is vague. Even discounting all this, he leaves behind a pretty impressive body of work.

Here's the New York Times obit.

I TiVoed it earlier and I've just finished watching it. If I had to pick a winner, I'd probably pick Gray Davis, who wasn't even there. I can't imagine too many viewers deciding to vote for any of these people because of what they said in the debate, but I can sure imagine someone deciding we might as well stick with Gray. (Actually, Arianna Huffington may have "won" in the sense that she increased her celebrity and visibility for other purposes but she's still going to get 3% in the election.)

I think the court made the right decision not to delay the vote. The sooner we get this over with, the better. Leno missed a bet the other night by not starting his show by having a little, tiny car pull up outside and all of the candidates get out with rubber balls on their noses.

Jesse White was a very funny man and a great stage performer (I saw him playing Oscar in The Odd Couple and Mushnick in Little Shop of Horrors, and he was great in both.) As with many character actors, he did his best work in parts that paid little and went largely unnoticed, then made his fame and fortune in an odd, non-challenging role. He was the Maytag Repairman for 21 years in what was apparently a very successful advertising campaign…so much so that it was an actual news story when he "retired" in 1988. I put "retired" in quotes because Jesse told everyone he met that it was not a voluntary retirement; that those [expletive deleted] ad agency guys had decided he was too old. He was only 69 which doesn't seem that old when you consider that his replacement, Gordon Jump, was 56 when he assumed the role. As good an actor as Jesse was, I think Gordon was even better. He just seemed somehow…lonelier.

The Maytag folks obviously worried about Gordon getting too old for the job so over the years, they tried to establish another actor in the spots as the Repairman's son or nephew. That would put a younger spin on the commercials and when Jump died or retired, the younger man could take over. I guess it never worked out. Last June, they announced that Jump was "retiring" and that an actor named Hardy Rawls would soon assume the role, but I don't think Mr. Rawls was introduced the way they once wanted to phase in the new guy.

In early 1989, I booked Jesse White to do a voice on the Garfield cartoon show. I had an idea to have a recurring Bilko-like con-man and I thought Jesse would be good in the role…and he would have been, had we done the show ten years earlier. But Jesse was having health problems. His performance was not up to this old standard, and I could understand why he was no longer doing the Maytag spots.

He apparently could not. The Gordon Jump commercials had just started appearing and someone asked Jesse an insensitive question about his absence. Jesse exploded in anger, railing against know-nothing advertising people who are prejudiced against older people. He was absolutely right that there is rampant ageism in the business, though perhaps that was not the problem in his case. I later worked with Jesse on what I believe was his last job — a small part on the comedy album/CD, Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America, Volume 2. Jesse had been the co-star of the first album, which was recorded in 1961. When Stan did the sequel in '96, he wanted to include everyone who'd been on the first one and was still around…but Jesse was only up to a small, non-singing part and even that took a great many takes. He died before the album was even released.

The day we had him on Garfield was a very gloomy day because this had once been one of the sharpest, funniest actors around and we were all a little depressed by the struggle he had to give even a passable performance. After Jesse left, I found Lorenzo Music, who did the voice of Garfield, sitting out in the lounge area, wiping his eyes. I sat down next to him and said, "I know…it's sad to see someone in that condition."

Lorenzo looked up at me and said, "Yes, but that's not why I'm crying. Jesse told me how much he got for doing those Maytag commercials."

I gasped. "You mean…?"

"Yeah," Lorenzo moaned. "They only hired Gordon Jump because I turned it down."

I dunno if I made it clear but the WKRP in Cincinnati episode with the turkeys is on TV Land this weekend. Depending on your time zone and cable company, it will probably air either at 9:30 Saturday evening or three hours after that. Speaking of which, my pal TV writer Michael Reaves sends the following info on it…

The justly-famous turkey episode of WKRP (right up there with "Chuckles the Clown", IMHO), was, as I'm sure you know, written by Bill Dial, a very nice man who was later a producer on Sliders. When I wrote for that show I asked him about the story's genesis, and he said the idea came from a PR man's plan for a stunt to advertise the opening of some public attraction. It was planned, but fortunately never executed (and I use the word in every possible sense here). Bill said the same guy also planned another stunt, in which there would be a small "farm" in the middle of a mall, with ducks who would dance to country music — they'd be inspired to "dance" by the electrical current heating the floor of the set. And they say American entrepreneurship is dead…

One other interesting thing about the "turkey" segment: It was only the seventh episode taped of WKRP, and I don't think the series had even gone on the air yet. Most long-running sitcoms do their most memorable episodes after the show has been around for a while and things have shaken down. The Mary Tyler Moore Show's infamous "Chuckles Bites the Dust," for instance, was a sixth season episode. If we were to compile a list of great episodes of shows, I'll bet very few of them would be from the first thirteen. Bill Dial and the folks at WKRP had their act together almost from day one.

I had lunch this afternoon in the commissary on the Disney lot. As I was walking back to my car, I noticed that one whole side of a studio building had a huge billboard for 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter with a big picture of the cast. And rather than take it down in light of John Ritter's death, they instead added a huge banner across the billboard. It read, "We love you John."

I don't know why but that struck me as a classy thing to do.

In case Hugh Hefner ever drops by your house for dinner, you might want to know what Hef eats. This is from an article about his impending visit to Las Vegas…

Before Hefner dines out, his handlers routinely fax his dinner instructions to the restaurant of choice. The instructions are always the same: three lamb chops on a warm plate bearing his HMH initials, 15 ounces of Le Sueur Early Peas, three 90-count size potatoes, two tomato slices "on a plate lined with lettuce," apple sauce and a glass of milk "on a paper napkin." A hand-drawn map includes how Hef wants the place setting.

And they didn't mention this but I believe the Viagra tablets are placed to the left of the salad fork.

That's the title of a comic book-style story that appears in Al Franken's new book, Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them — A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. It was drawn by a terrific cartoonist named Don Simpson…as you can see on this site where Franken's publishers have made the story available for free viewing.

In the past, I've complained about networks not starting their shows precisely on time, thereby screwing things up for those of us who record via VCR or TiVo. If you have a TiVo, you've probably just received this lovely on-screen notice…

NBC is airing shows on Thursday evenings with non-standard start times and lengths. If you have a Season Pass for one or more shows during primetime on Thursday, you should check your To Do list, Recording History, and Season Pass Manager to make sure your programs are recorded. Check your viewers guide or www.tivo.com/support for more information on these features.

NBC is playing dirty pool here. E.R. Thursday night starts not at 10 PM but at 9:59. They're figuring, I guess, that when the show before it ends, you'll be hooked on E.R. before you have the chance to change channels. But of course what they're also doing is making it difficult for you to record a show on another channel (like CSI) that ends at 10:00. Friends runs from 8:00 to 8:48, followed by Will and Grace from 8:48 to 9:27, which will screw up people who have a VCR that sets record times in five-minute increments.

I don't watch any of these programs but I've often gotten burned by shows not starting and stopping as scheduled. This morning's airing of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart started early so my TiVo recording lost the first minute or so. A couple of times, I've recorded a movie or an episode of something and when I watch it, I find that it's actually longer than the scheduled time and that I didn't get the ending.

If there's any ratings advantage to playing these games, I would think it would be small and more than offset by viewer annoyance. I think all the TV networks should get together and pledge to air shows (live events, excepted) at the advertised times and on the half-hour. And while they're at it, they ought to all agree to go back to credits you can read without splitting the screen to stick in advertising.

Joshua Micah Marshall on the problems the White House is having in dealing with the United Nations.

Each year, ratings for the Miss America Pageant get worse and worse. Last Saturday's set a new low which will stand until next year's…that is, if any network is even willing to run it next year.

There are a lot of reasons for the decline of what was once a significant event, many of them having to do with the pageant's antiquated, vapid concepts of what qualities are admirable in a woman. One I'd like to underscore is that the Miss America promoters have been beaten at their own game. Once upon a time, it was a unique way to create an artificial celebrity who could be sent out to cut ribbons at mall openings and endorse products. Today, "reality television" provides a series of extreme ways to make a nobody into a somebody, and they have to do a lot more than walk down a runway with good posture. They have to eat slugs or live in exile or dangle over sharks or marry someone on TV or, in some cases, demonstrate actual talent. Becoming Miss America looks like nothing.

I don't know anything about the company that runs the Miss America pageant but I have a hunch what's going on in their offices this week. They're having conferences and saying things like, "We have to find a way to make the pageant relevant." They're looking at tapes of Fear Factor and Joe Millionaire and wondering if there's anything they can adapt from those shows without puncturing the merchandising veneer of their manufactured celebrity. There probably isn't but before the Miss America pageant becomes too unimportant to even be televised on a network, I'll bet they institute some real stupid changes to the format. Furthermore, I'll bet they don't work, either. The problem is like the old Groucho Marx joke about not wanting to belong to any club that would have him as a member. If you honestly summed up the traits and skills that a woman ought to have to be worthy of the mantle of "Miss America," they would include not entering that kind of contest.

Here's Part Two of Timothy Noah's piece on why the folks talking about Hillary Clinton running for president are almost all Republicans.