Political weblogs spend a lot of time arguing over which political party is more responsible with regard to how they handle our money. Avedon Carol has prepared a summary of some of this information and some of the erroneous claims. Here it is.
Al Honored
Tomorrow afternoon, the Martin Beck Theater in New York will officially be renamed The Al Hirschfeld Theater.
This was decided last year but they decided to wait until his 100th birthday to make the changeover. They figured, "He'll be there. After all, he's only 99 years old. Not much chance of him dying and not being around to see it."
But at least he knew it was going to happen. I think it would be nice if some graffiti artist would sneak over there when no one's looking and spray-paint NINAs all over the walls.
A Frank Critique
Barney Frank ventures his opinion of the new Nathan Lane sitcom, which is about an openly gay congressman.
Comic Artist Website of the Day
When the strip Bloom County first appeared, I tried to not like it. Honest, I did. It looked like an inept rip-off of Doonesbury which (then) wasn't all that well drawn in the first place. Worse, the first Bloom County gag I read was a switch on a joke I recognized from Doonesbury. But eventually, Berkeley Breathed developed his own, distinct characters and won me over with his cleverness. So I avidly collected his books and am proud to direct you to his website.
Nudie Site
Despite his name, James Nudie had nothing to do with naked people. Quite the opposite. He was a tailor who founded a clothing store featuring the best in flamboyant western wear and who managed to become a local celebrity of Southern California. Mr. Nudie himself passed away in 1984 but the business lives on, and there's a lot about his life and celebrity at the website for Nudies Rodeo Tailors. Check out the various online "museums" — especially the gallery of photos of Nudie with celebrities, most of whose names are spelled wrong.
Seeing Dave
Over in the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup, there's a dedicated group of Dave fans and a Letterman authority named Don Giller. Someone really ought to throw some money at this guy to compile the definitive Letterman reference book. For example, after Tom Arnold and Tom Green guest-hosted The Late Show recently, someone innocently asked how many other "Toms" had guested with Dave and were therefore possible as guest hosts if the pattern were to continue. About four seconds later, "Donz" (that's Giller's handle) had responded with: Tom Agna, Tom Arnold, Tom Amberry, Tom Boleen, Tom Brokaw, Tom Cavanaugh, Tom Cruise, Tom Dolan, Tom Dreesen, Tom Gates, Tom Green, Tom Hanks, Tom Harkin, Tom Jones, Tom Papa, Tom Ryan, Tom Scott, Tom Snyder, Tom Waits and Tom Wolfe.
Recently, DonZ organized a group-outing, arranging for a couple dozen folks — Letterman fans who found one another, mostly via that newsgroup, to convene in New York, attend a taping, get a backstage tour, visit with folks who work on the show, etc. A very nice gesture on his part. One of those who attended was a lady who I think is named Shirlee but who goes under the newsgroup name of "Foxyscribe." She had an interesting day that day, and she posted this account of it on the Letterman newsgroup. I thought it was such a nice little story — especially the end part — that I thought I'd call everyone's attention to it. I'm a sucker for reading about selfless acts — Don's little gift to folks he met via the Internet as well as the heroes in Foxyscribe's tale.
A Fine Evening at the Comedy Store
Someone wrote to ask me about the best night I can recall spending at the Comedy Store. There were a lot of them, backstage as well as onstage. One night, Garry Shandling was on, and he wouldn't get off. Just wouldn't stop. The audience was loving him but he was way over his time and the next comic up — Arsenio Hall — was backstage fuming. Arsenio finally turned to me (because, I guess, I was the biggest guy around) and said, "Come on. Help me get this guy off." And before I knew it, he and I were on the stage, physically carrying Mr. Shandling off…as Garry continued to clutch the mike and talk about his hair. Never saw an audience laugh so hard in my life.
Another night that comes to mind was one evening when Sam Kinison was in fine form. This was when he was still something of a cult figure — the private "discovery" of a select group of Kinison fans. A guy in the audience made the mistake of heckling Sam, and Sam turned on him. He began calling the guy names and like a really demented high school kid, describing graphic sexual perversions that (Sam claimed) he'd performed on the guy's mother. You instantly realized that Kinison had decided he was not going to be satisfied to merely get the heckler to shut up. He wanted to see if he could drive the fellow out of the room in tears. On and on he went, making up deviant sex fantasies about the heckler's mother, each lewder than the one before. After three or four, the heckler had not only stopped heckling but was muttering, "Come on, I'm sorry. I won't interrupt again." That was not enough. Kinison kept after him until the guy finally threw down some bills to cover his check and stormed out of the club. Sam ran down to the table, counted the money and looked at the check, then ran after the fellow screaming, "You didn't tip, you cheap [multiple expletives deleted]! You're just like your mother!" Sam was on a wireless mike so we were sitting there in the Comedy Store, listening to him out on Sunset Boulevard yelling at his victim for about three minutes, apparently as the guy got into his car and drove off. Finally, Sam returned to the stage, calmed down and said, "So…anyone else wanna fuck with me?" Then he went right back into the story he was telling when the heckler first heckled. Needless to say, no one interrupted him again.
Maybe the best night — and there are many from which to choose — was one evening when a comedienne friend of mine, Louise DuArt, was the closing act in the big room. That meant five comics would each do 15 minutes, then Louise would close by doing thirty. The first comic was Argus Hamilton, who would hang around and serve as m.c. for the others. Louise called and suggested I come that evening because (she'd heard) certain "surprises" were likely — and she somehow arranged for my date and me to get Mitzi's table in the otherwise sold-out show, Mitzi being Mitzi Shore, owner-operator of the place. Sure enough, the announced line-up was strong enough on its own — but added to it were impromptu sets by Yakov Smirnoff and Roseanne Barr, both of whom were unadvertised. I didn't think either was that great but there's still something kind of thrilling about a surprise guest star.
It was the same way after Louise finished her very successful set. The evening could have ended there, as it was scheduled to, and everyone would have left very happy. Instead, Argus Hamilton returned to the stage and everyone thought he was going to say, "Thanks for coming." Instead, he said, "Have you got time to see one more comedian?" The audience, of course, yelled "Yes!" Hamilton asked, "If you could see anyone in the world, who would you like to see walk out here?" One black woman screamed out, louder than anyone else, "Eddie Murphy!" Argus glared at her: "Do you think I can just snap my fingers and Eddie Murphy will walk out here?" And sure enough, as he snapped his fingers, You-Know-Who walked out. The audience went crazy, and Murphy — who was practicing for a concert film or HBO special he was about to do — stayed out there for a full hour, talking to the audience and delivering one of the funniest stand-up routines I've ever seen in my life. A lot of it was about how he'd just been asked to play Little Richard in a biographical movie. He got a copy of Little Richard's autobiography, he said, flipped it open and found a description of Little Richard receiving anal sex on his piano. Eddie went on and on wondering aloud how they'd film such a scene…maybe bring in a stunt butt or something. Much of his time was spent chatting with the lady who'd hollered his name out to Argus, and who was unabashed about announcing that she was ready and eager to engage in any kind of sex act with Mr. Murphy — right there on the stage, if necessary. I think she was even suggesting some of the things Kinison had claimed to have done with that heckler's mother.
Now, I need to explain that this was the early show on a Saturday night. It was supposed to end around 10:30 and then the Comedy Store staff would do a fast clean-up of the place and begin seating for the 11:00 show. Because of the addition of Yakov and Roseanne, it was already 10:45 by the time Eddie walked out. Throughout, you could see personnel fretting and hear the griping of people who were lined up outside on Sunset…but no one was about to cut off Eddie Murphy's mike or carry him off the stage. Finally, a little before Midnight, he finished — to a tremendous ovation, of course. Immediately, waiters begin shoving us out the door and as we exited, we all had to walk past the folks who had been waiting more than an hour longer than they'd expected. They were mad about that, and even madder at reports that we'd gotten to see Eddie Murphy and they wouldn't. I believe the biggest name on the line-up they'd be viewing was Charlie Fleischer.
Walking past the line, pedestrian traffic jammed-up and a bunch of us found ourselves face-to-face with some angry ticket holders for the 11:00 show. One woman was yelling at us, "Liars! You're lying! You did not see Eddie Murphy! Eddie Murphy was not in there!" Her theory, I guess, was that we'd all decided to play a trick on the folks outside: "Listen, let's all wait in here an extra hour and we'll make raucous laughing sounds. Then when you leave, tell everyone in the line outside that Eddie Murphy was doing a set." Something like that. Anyway, she was screaming this when suddenly, a black stretch limousine pulled up at the curb. Everyone could see the Artists' Entrance (i.e., back door of the club) swing open and then an entourage of black men in dark glasses marched out and into the limo, with E. Murphy clearly visible in the center. In ten seconds, the limo, Eddie and the entourage were gone…and the hysterical lady was just standing there with her mouth open and her chin scraping the pavement.
Those were the golden nights of the Comedy Store. They don't make 'em like that anymore.
Not Too Funny
Sad article about the state of the Comedy Store and its proprietor, Mitzi Shore. Both seem to have passed their prime and this piece probably won't help.
For a couple of years, I was around the Comedy Store a few nights a month, usually just to hang out with comedians I knew, since I never found it very comfortable as a paying attendee. There was always a Tourist Trap feel to the place, and parking has always been a pain. But there were occasional periods when the line-up of comics was so strong, you almost didn't mind. (The parking at local comedy clubs has always been rough. I always felt that if someone were to open a place with an actual self-park lot, they'd own the business.)
With new comics being showcased on Comedy Central and other venues, I doubt the Store can ever again be what it once was. But if the campaign to save the place brings in some of the top people to perform, it might well be worth hassling the parking again. Maybe.
By the Numbers…
So…how many artifacts were looted from Iraq's National Museum of Antiquities? Well, it depends not on which newspaper you read but on when you read it…
Looters at Iraq's National Museum of Antiquities pillaged and, perhaps, destroyed an archive of more than 100,000 cuneiform clay tablets — a unique and priceless trove of ancient Mesopotamian writings that included the "Sippar Library," the oldest library ever found intact on its original shelves. — Washington Post, April 18
Despite scattered rumors of artifacts turning up from Tehran to Paris, not a single one of the 90,000 or 120,000 or 170,000 plundered artifacts — no one knows for sure how many — is known to have been offered for sale anywhere in the world. — Washington Post, April 23
The museum was indeed heavily looted, but its Iraqi directors confirmed today that the losses at the institute did not number 170,000 artifacts as originally reported in news accounts. Actually, about 33 priceless vases, statues and jewels were missing. — Washington Post, June 9
U.S. and Iraqi officials have confirmed the theft of at least 6,000 artifacts from Iraq's National Museum of Antiquities during a prolonged looting spree as U.S. forces entered Baghdad two months ago, a leading archaeologist said yesterday. — Washington Post, June 21
Across the Internet, the actual amount of looting is being debated as proving something about the war effort. The anti-Bush folks have seized upon the higher numbers as evidence of incompetence or neglect or something of the sort. The pro-Bush people have decided that the 33 number must be the truth and are calling the anti-Bushies liars and all sorts of names for believing the earlier reports which almost everyone believed. And of course, neither group has any way of knowing which accounts (if any) are correct. Everyone's just grabbing for whichever news story serves their purpose and using it to bludgeon the other guy. And they'll believe what they believe as long as they live.
Recommended Reading
Gene Perret is a highly-respected comedy writer. Here's a nice little article in a local newspaper about him. Thanks to Ian Brill for the pointer.
Repair Work
Just fixed a formatting error that was causing some of the items on this site to appear in the wrong font or wrong font size. If they're still doing that on your screen, you may need to hit the little command on your browser that says Refresh.
Comic Website of the Day
Richard Jeni never fails to make me laugh, so I thought I'd plug his website.
A few years ago, I was in Las Vegas and I happened to catch him doing an interview on a local show there. He was talking about his appearance in the then-upcoming motion picture, Burn, Hollywood, Burn, and he said approximately the following…
Did you ever see the movie, The Player? This is the exact same movie but without the quality. This is for the discriminating filmgoer who's been wondering, "What if The Player hadn't been a very good movie?"
I thought it was the funniest, most honest thing I'd ever heard anyone say in "plugging" an upcoming film.
Recommended Reading
John Dean on White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales's Texas Execution Memos. Rough translation: When Bush was governor of Texas, he spent very little time considering whether to grant clemency to prisoners who were about to be put to death. All he did was glance at case summaries prepared by Gonzales — summaries that seem to have more been written to explain why the party had to be put to death than to inform Bush of possibly mitigating circumstances. Since Gonzales seems like a likely Supreme Court nominee, we may hear a lot more about this.
Gay Times
Good article by Frank Rich about how America is increasingly accepting homosexuality as a way of life. I think staving this off is one battle that the right-wing cannot help but lose…which doesn't mean they aren't going to go down swinging. So to speak.
Comic Artist Website of the Day
Mike Grell is a helluva nice guy and a helluva good artist…and I hear he's not bad at jousting, which is one of his current passions. That's right: Jousting. If you don't like it, you tell him. Me — I'm always respectful to a guy who jousts. Anyway, here's a link to his website and here's a separate link to a page whereupon he discusses the origin on a fine comic he did for years for DC called Warlord. The comic was always worth reading and so is his little essay about it.