What's in a Name?

Vince Waldron (who was, by the way, the first person to respond to my fishing for donations so I'll plug his website) writes to ask…

Nice of you to note that the powers that be in the big apple finally got around to renaming the martin beck to honor the recently departed Al Hirschfeld. But this begs the question, who was Martin Beck, anyway? By the way, didn't Broadway just displace some other guy to make way for the Neil Simon moniker on one of their other marquees a few years back? Sheesh, but they're fickle.

Martin Beck was a vaudeville promoter and businessman. The theater was built in 1924 and he died in 1940 so he had 16 years of seeing his name on the place. But he was a pretty obscure theatrical figure so it's kind of amazing they didn't decide to rename the place long ago. The Neil Simon Theater was originally the Alvin, named for two producers — Alex Aarons and Vinton Freedley.

Maybe I'm sensitive to this point because I have a last name few can pronounce…but it seems to me that getting a business named after you is partly a function of having a simple name. "Martin Beck" is a simple name. It sounds like it belongs to someone of great importance. "Neil Simon" is a name everyone can remember and pronounce — "Driver, drop me off at the Neil Simon."

"Al Hirschfeld" is a good name. Anyone who could possibly have any interest in going to the theater can remember "Al Hirschfeld." But supposing that instead of international relations, Zbigniew Brzezinski had gone into the theater and been just as important as Martin Beck or Mark Hellinger or John Golden or any other person who got their name on a theater. Do you think anyone would have ever named a theater for Zbigniew Brzezinski? Would you tell a taxi to take you to the Zbigniew Brzezinski? Could you call Directory Assistance and get the number of the Zbigniew Brzezinski?

Just a thought.

Gold Key Digest Comics

Back in the sixties, Western Publishing Company (Gold Key Comics) began to have increasing problems getting their comics distributed. All the publishers were having this problem but it was most acute for Western. DC and Charlton owned their own distribution companies so they were able to push a little harder and at least they were paying their distribution fees to themselves. Marvel was distributed by DC until they jumped to a company owned by the same conglomerate that owned Marvel. The other companies, like Archie and Harvey, were hurt…but they (like DC and Marvel) were largely using their comic book publishing as a loss leader for the merchandising of the properties depicted in their comics. DC didn't consider it fatal when sales on the Batman comic went down since they were making money off Batman t-shirts and games and spatulas and such.

Western, however, did not control their own distribution, nor did they make any money off the merchandising of most of the characters in their comics. They had the Disney properties, Bugs Bunny, Woody Woodpecker, etc. — all properties owned by others. The few comics Western did own did not yield any real licensing money.

So they began hustling to find a way to sell comics in other venues — bookstores, toy stores, anywhere. They explored other forms of distribution and to this end began experimenting with different sizes and shapes of comics. Long before anyone at DC or Marvel was ready to break from the conventional funny book format, Western tried oversize comics, paperback comics, comics bundled in plastic bags and a few other ideas. Some received limited test marketings or never made it that far. Others came out and were widely ignored. The one thing that did well for a time was the digest comic — a little paperback about 6 and 3/4" tall with (usually) a little under 200 pages. Today, the Archie people have done quite well with their digests and the rumor is that other companies are gearing up to try them — especially for "funny" comics, whose less-detailed pages suffer less when reduced in size.

I don't believe this format will ever catch on big. Archie's success with it has largely been a matter of skillful (and expensive) marketing. They've managed to get excellent display in airports and at supermarket checkout counters. It often costs a lot of money to get your wares into those locations…which can accept very limited amounts of product. I also think there's a fundamental problem with the format in that its very size makes comics look cheap and unimportant.

One thing that some publishers seem to have missed is a lesson that Western learned when they were the only publisher doing them. When the digests were successful, they were only successful in stores that were completely isolated from regular-size comics. If a store had both sizes, no one bought the digests. If a store didn't carry regular-size comics but the one across the street did, no one bought the digests. I forget the actual sales numbers I was shown but it was something like this: When no regular-sized comics could be purchased nearby, a store that carried the digests might expect a 75% sale, which was very good. If the same store had regular comics, the digests would sell 10%. Therefore, Western was in the odd position of trying very hard not to distribute one of their products to some outlets. This they did until the digests died out in the early-seventies — about the time DC and Marvel were both enjoying some success with larger-than-normal comics. Western's distribution was crashing anyway by then but I've often wondered if the appearance of the tabloid "super-size" comics made the digests just look so puny that they helped finish them off.

Shades of Gray

Here's a long, interesting discussion on what it could mean if the drive to recall Gray Davis succeeds. There are more pro-and-con arguments on both sides than you might think.

Shameless Appeal for Loot

We interrupt this weblog for a commercial…

As you may notice, I have little buttons over in the margin which you can click on and make a financial contribution to this website. You can go to Amazon.Com via our link and we then receive a small percentage of whatever you spend over there. Or you can just donate cash to us via PayPal. Since I first set this up, a lot of you have shown your generosity and sent some very nice amounts my way.

Not one cent of this money, I assure you, has gone for anything serious. I use it to pay for toys and books and silly stuff I purchase on eBay. And I spend a chunk of it making donations to other websites that I visit. I am a big believer in the philosophy that you get a better Internet with more enjoyable content if you tip well.

That was the wind-up. Here comes the pitch…

I am about to make a large purchase not on eBay but on a similar service. For reasons too complex to explain, I would like to finance as much of it as possible through donations to this site…so I'm asking for money. A lot of websites have been doing this lately, saying that the proprietor may not be able to continue supplying free content if the site doesn't bring in some cash. I'm not saying that. I'll keep doing this, either way. I just want to see if all the hours I spend doing this can get me a piece of high-tech hardware I want to purchase.

So please donate via PayPal. Or at least click on our Amazon link and go there and make a big purchase. Thanks!

Doonesbury Bleeped

It's been way too long since some hysterical newspaper decided to not run a Doonesbury strip or made some sort of editorial "correction." We hear that The Westchester/Rockland NY Journal News deleted Bill Bennett's name (and therefore, the entire point) from today's installment. Knowing Bennett, he probably bet they'd run it intact.

Another One of These…

Here's a news item I just came across. In case you don't want to click and read the thing (you don't have to), here's the first paragraph…

An anti-pornography campaigner, who heads France's broadcasting authority, has been accused of attending sadomasochistic orgies and conniving in the murder of a transvestite prostitute who threatened to expose him and other pillars of the establishment in the city of Toulouse.

Of course, I have no idea if this guy is guilty or is being framed or what. But doesn't this kind of thing come out about an amazing percentage of anti-pornography crusaders? Must be all that research.

Correction

In an earlier post, I gave Don Giller all the credit for organizing a field trip of Letterman fans. Don writes…

I didn't organize the get-together; that was handled by two women named Traci and Renee. They've been doing this for four years now, and all credit should go to them.

So all credit (and my apology) to Traci and Renee. Everything else I said about Don is true.

Budget Stuff

Political weblogs spend a lot of time arguing over which political party is more responsible with regard to how they handle our money. Avedon Carol has prepared a summary of some of this information and some of the erroneous claims. Here it is.

Al Honored

Tomorrow afternoon, the Martin Beck Theater in New York will officially be renamed The Al Hirschfeld Theater.

This was decided last year but they decided to wait until his 100th birthday to make the changeover. They figured, "He'll be there. After all, he's only 99 years old. Not much chance of him dying and not being around to see it."

But at least he knew it was going to happen. I think it would be nice if some graffiti artist would sneak over there when no one's looking and spray-paint NINAs all over the walls.

A Frank Critique

Barney Frank ventures his opinion of the new Nathan Lane sitcom, which is about an openly gay congressman.

Comic Artist Website of the Day

When the strip Bloom County first appeared, I tried to not like it. Honest, I did. It looked like an inept rip-off of Doonesbury which (then) wasn't all that well drawn in the first place. Worse, the first Bloom County gag I read was a switch on a joke I recognized from Doonesbury. But eventually, Berkeley Breathed developed his own, distinct characters and won me over with his cleverness. So I avidly collected his books and am proud to direct you to his website.

Nudie Site

Despite his name, James Nudie had nothing to do with naked people. Quite the opposite. He was a tailor who founded a clothing store featuring the best in flamboyant western wear and who managed to become a local celebrity of Southern California. Mr. Nudie himself passed away in 1984 but the business lives on, and there's a lot about his life and celebrity at the website for Nudies Rodeo Tailors. Check out the various online "museums" — especially the gallery of photos of Nudie with celebrities, most of whose names are spelled wrong.

Seeing Dave

Over in the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup, there's a dedicated group of Dave fans and a Letterman authority named Don Giller. Someone really ought to throw some money at this guy to compile the definitive Letterman reference book. For example, after Tom Arnold and Tom Green guest-hosted The Late Show recently, someone innocently asked how many other "Toms" had guested with Dave and were therefore possible as guest hosts if the pattern were to continue. About four seconds later, "Donz" (that's Giller's handle) had responded with: Tom Agna, Tom Arnold, Tom Amberry, Tom Boleen, Tom Brokaw, Tom Cavanaugh, Tom Cruise, Tom Dolan, Tom Dreesen, Tom Gates, Tom Green, Tom Hanks, Tom Harkin, Tom Jones, Tom Papa, Tom Ryan, Tom Scott, Tom Snyder, Tom Waits and Tom Wolfe.

Recently, DonZ organized a group-outing, arranging for a couple dozen folks — Letterman fans who found one another, mostly via that newsgroup, to convene in New York, attend a taping, get a backstage tour, visit with folks who work on the show, etc. A very nice gesture on his part. One of those who attended was a lady who I think is named Shirlee but who goes under the newsgroup name of "Foxyscribe." She had an interesting day that day, and she posted this account of it on the Letterman newsgroup. I thought it was such a nice little story — especially the end part — that I thought I'd call everyone's attention to it. I'm a sucker for reading about selfless acts — Don's little gift to folks he met via the Internet as well as the heroes in Foxyscribe's tale.

A Fine Evening at the Comedy Store

Someone wrote to ask me about the best night I can recall spending at the Comedy Store.  There were a lot of them, backstage as well as onstage.  One night, Garry Shandling was on, and he wouldn't get off.  Just wouldn't stop.  The audience was loving him but he was way over his time and the next comic up — Arsenio Hall — was backstage fuming.  Arsenio finally turned to me (because, I guess, I was the biggest guy around) and said, "Come on.  Help me get this guy off."  And before I knew it, he and I were on the stage, physically carrying Mr. Shandling off…as Garry continued to clutch the mike and talk about his hair.  Never saw an audience laugh so hard in my life.

Another night that comes to mind was one evening when Sam Kinison was in fine form.  This was when he was still something of a cult figure — the private "discovery" of a select group of Kinison fans.  A guy in the audience made the mistake of heckling Sam, and Sam turned on him.  He began calling the guy names and like a really demented high school kid, describing graphic sexual perversions that (Sam claimed) he'd performed on the guy's mother.  You instantly realized that Kinison had decided he was not going to be satisfied to merely get the heckler to shut up.  He wanted to see if he could drive the fellow out of the room in tears.  On and on he went, making up deviant sex fantasies about the heckler's mother, each lewder than the one before.  After three or four, the heckler had not only stopped heckling but was muttering, "Come on, I'm sorry.  I won't interrupt again." That was not enough.  Kinison kept after him until the guy finally threw down some bills to cover his check and stormed out of the club.  Sam ran down to the table, counted the money and looked at the check, then ran after the fellow screaming, "You didn't tip, you cheap [multiple expletives deleted]!  You're just like your mother!"  Sam was on a wireless mike so we were sitting there in the Comedy Store, listening to him out on Sunset Boulevard yelling at his victim for about three minutes, apparently as the guy got into his car and drove off.  Finally, Sam returned to the stage, calmed down and said, "So…anyone else wanna fuck with me?"  Then he went right back into the story he was telling when the heckler first heckled.  Needless to say, no one interrupted him again.

Maybe the best night — and there are many from which to choose — was one evening when a comedienne friend of mine, Louise DuArt, was the closing act in the big room.  That meant five comics would each do 15 minutes, then Louise would close by doing thirty.  The first comic was Argus Hamilton, who would hang around and serve as m.c. for the others.  Louise called and suggested I come that evening because (she'd heard) certain "surprises" were likely — and she somehow arranged for my date and me to get Mitzi's table in the otherwise sold-out show, Mitzi being Mitzi Shore, owner-operator of the place.  Sure enough, the announced line-up was strong enough on its own — but added to it were impromptu sets by Yakov Smirnoff and Roseanne Barr, both of whom were unadvertised.  I didn't think either was that great but there's still something kind of thrilling about a surprise guest star.

It was the same way after Louise finished her very successful set.  The evening could have ended there, as it was scheduled to, and everyone would have left very happy.  Instead, Argus Hamilton returned to the stage and everyone thought he was going to say, "Thanks for coming."  Instead, he said, "Have you got time to see one more comedian?"  The audience, of course, yelled "Yes!"  Hamilton asked, "If you could see anyone in the world, who would you like to see walk out here?"  One black woman screamed out, louder than anyone else, "Eddie Murphy!"  Argus glared at her: "Do you think I can just snap my fingers and Eddie Murphy will walk out here?"  And sure enough, as he snapped his fingers, You-Know-Who walked out.  The audience went crazy, and Murphy — who was practicing for a concert film or HBO special he was about to do — stayed out there for a full hour, talking to the audience and delivering one of the funniest stand-up routines I've ever seen in my life.  A lot of it was about how he'd just been asked to play Little Richard in a biographical movie.  He got a copy of Little Richard's autobiography, he said, flipped it open and found a description of Little Richard receiving anal sex on his piano.  Eddie went on and on wondering aloud how they'd film such a scene…maybe bring in a stunt butt or something.  Much of his time was spent chatting with the lady who'd hollered his name out to Argus, and who was unabashed about announcing that she was ready and eager to engage in any kind of sex act with Mr.  Murphy — right there on the stage, if necessary.  I think she was even suggesting some of the things Kinison had claimed to have done with that heckler's mother.

Now, I need to explain that this was the early show on a Saturday night.  It was supposed to end around 10:30 and then the Comedy Store staff would do a fast clean-up of the place and begin seating for the 11:00 show.  Because of the addition of Yakov and Roseanne, it was already 10:45 by the time Eddie walked out.  Throughout, you could see personnel fretting and hear the griping of people who were lined up outside on Sunset…but no one was about to cut off Eddie Murphy's mike or carry him off the stage.  Finally, a little before Midnight, he finished — to a tremendous ovation, of course.  Immediately, waiters begin shoving us out the door and as we exited, we all had to walk past the folks who had been waiting more than an hour longer than they'd expected.  They were mad about that, and even madder at reports that we'd gotten to see Eddie Murphy and they wouldn't.  I believe the biggest name on the line-up they'd be viewing was Charlie Fleischer.

Walking past the line, pedestrian traffic jammed-up and a bunch of us found ourselves face-to-face with some angry ticket holders for the 11:00 show.  One woman was yelling at us, "Liars!  You're lying!  You did not see Eddie Murphy! Eddie Murphy was not in there!"  Her theory, I guess, was that we'd all decided to play a trick on the folks outside: "Listen, let's all wait in here an extra hour and we'll make raucous laughing sounds.  Then when you leave, tell everyone in the line outside that Eddie Murphy was doing a set."  Something like that.  Anyway, she was screaming this when suddenly, a black stretch limousine pulled up at the curb. Everyone could see the Artists' Entrance (i.e., back door of the club) swing open and then an entourage of black men in dark glasses marched out and into the limo, with E. Murphy clearly visible in the center.  In ten seconds, the limo, Eddie and the entourage were gone…and the hysterical lady was just standing there with her mouth open and her chin scraping the pavement.

Those were the golden nights of the Comedy Store.  They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Not Too Funny

Sad article about the state of the Comedy Store and its proprietor, Mitzi Shore. Both seem to have passed their prime and this piece probably won't help.

For a couple of years, I was around the Comedy Store a few nights a month, usually just to hang out with comedians I knew, since I never found it very comfortable as a paying attendee. There was always a Tourist Trap feel to the place, and parking has always been a pain. But there were occasional periods when the line-up of comics was so strong, you almost didn't mind. (The parking at local comedy clubs has always been rough. I always felt that if someone were to open a place with an actual self-park lot, they'd own the business.)

With new comics being showcased on Comedy Central and other venues, I doubt the Store can ever again be what it once was. But if the campaign to save the place brings in some of the top people to perform, it might well be worth hassling the parking again. Maybe.