So I have to stop in at the drugstore and pick up something.  This is last evening.  I'm heading into the store when a kid — maybe 16, maybe older — stops me and says, "Excuse me, sir.  If I give you the money, would you buy some Miller's High Life for me?"  Reminds me of the scene in American Graffiti where the kid with the glasses is outside the liquor shop, trying to score some Sneaky Pete for his date to chug.  I tell the kid outside my friendly neighborhood pharmacy, "Sorry."  What I don't tell him is that I've never even bought beer for myself. I'm certainly not about to buy any for a minor.

I find the item I want and take it to the checker.  Ahead of me in line, a guy is buying a six-pack of Miller High Life.  He's around 40 and wearing a dark blue pea coat.  I think to myself, "Ah, I see the kid outside is going to get his beer."

I pay for my item, walk outside and find that two plainclothes police officers are arresting the guy in the pea coat.  The kid who asked me to buy him beer is looking on, an obvious confederate of the policemen.  Entrapment?  Or strict enforcement of liquor laws?  I don't know which, but it would be kind of comforting to think the police didn't have anything better to do than this.

Eight columns previously posted on this website have been removed.  Why is this?  Because I'm starting to assemble a sequel to my book (incessantly plugged on this site) Comic Books and Other Necessities of Life.  Those eight columns will be in it, along with 20 more that haven't been posted on this site, plus about five more that have never been published anywhere.  Don't start looking to buy this new collection because it won't be out 'til late this year, by which time you'll be sick to death of seeing me mention it here.

Comic book artist Jack Keller died yesterday at the age of 80.  Keller was born June 16, 1922 and got into comics in 1941 when he wrote and drew a strip called "The Whistler" (no relation to the radio show of the same name) for Dell Comics.  He soon joined the art crew at Quality Comics where, among other assignments, he assisted Lou Fine on The Spirit (while Will Eisner was away in the service) and inked Blackhawk and other features.  He later worked for Fawcett, Fiction House, Lev Gleason, Hillman and other houses, but he was best known for his two longest gigs.  Commencing in 1950, he worked for Stan Lee at the company that came to be known as Marvel Comics.  For them, he primarily drew westerns, most notably a long run on Kid Colt, Outlaw.

In 1955, he began working for Charlton Comics, both on westerns (Billy the Kid, among others) but mainly in his other area of expertise, which was auto racing.  He drew and often wrote hundreds of stories for comics like Teenage Hotrodders, World of Wheels, Dragstrip Hotrodders, and Drag 'N Wheels.  He retired from comics in 1973, but occasionally appeared at comic conventions near his home in Reading, Pennsylvania.  I never had the pleasure of meeting him but fans who did report that he was a very nice man — one who was genuinely surprised and delighted that so many people had followed and enjoyed his work.

Correction: Comedy Central is running Beat the Geeks at 8:30 AM PST, not 5:30 AM PST.  It's three hours earlier on DirecTV, since they carry the East Coast feed, and that's how I receive it.  Also, I forgot to mention that they're currently running the first season shows, which aren't as good as the later ones.

The other night on Letterman, guest George Clooney got to talking about The Money Maze, a 1974-1975 ABC game show that was hosted by his father, Nick Clooney.  George worked on the staff of that show, and its announcer was Letterman's current announcer, Alan Kalter.  (Nick Clooney is probably best known these days as a host on American Movie Classics.)

The Money Maze was kind of a dumb program, with couples competing for the right to challenge a huge maze that filled most of the studio.  The husband would race through twists and turns in the labyrinth while his wife watched from an elevated platform called the Crow's Nest, which gave her a view of the whole layout.  She would yell out instructions — "Turn left!  Turn right!" — while he tried to locate five "money towers."  These were pillars hidden in the maze which lit up when the husband pressed a button on them.  One had a "1" on it; the rest had zeroes.  If the hubby got all five towers lit and got out of the maze within 60 seconds, the couple won $10,000, which presumably made it all worth the effort.  If he only lit the "1" tower and three zeroes, they got $1000.  If he got the "1" and two zeroes, it meant $100, and I seem to recall at least one couple winning a big ten bucks.  In order to win anything, the runner had to light the "1" tower and get out of the maze in the allotted time.  During one phase of the show, the towers also had prize names on them; one represented a mink stole, another was a trip to Hawaii, etc.

Those of you interested in Trivial Connections might like to know that the producer of this series was the late Don Segall, whose career in TV and comic books I wrote about here.  The director was Artie Forrest, who has recently been directing some episodes of Whose Line Is It, Anyway?  And the show was under the aegis of Daphne Productions, which was Dick Cavett's production company.  Most likely, it got on the air because Cavett had received some sort of commitment from ABC as part of the contract for his late night talk show.

The show had a short run, in part because ABC was then having clearance problems with its late afternoon programming (it only ran in about half the country) but to a great extent because the set was so involved.  Segall told me that it took a huge crew at least 24, sometimes 48 hours to set up the maze, which was rearranged for every tape day.  At the time, there were only a few studios in New York that could accommodate it and they were in such demand that they charged a fortune in rental.  Every time the producers of Money Maze went in to tape a new block of shows, they had to pay for several days of studio rental to set up, and then it cost an absurd amount in overtime to strike the set and store it away.  Don described it as the first game show where the stage crew took home more money than the contestants.

It was a pretty clear ancestor of the so-called "reality shows" of today but don't expect to see it on the Game Show Network.  Word is that all but one or two of the tapes of Money Maze were erased, due either to neglect or Nick Clooney paying someone off.

Actor-Writer Royce D. Applegate died New Year's Day when a fire of "mysterious origin" (as they say) swept through his home in the Hollywood Hills.  Royce was probably best known for his recurring role on the old s-f TV series, SeaQuest DSV, but he appeared in dozens of TV shows and movies over the years, often playing a cop or a biker. I think the photo above is from an episode of Twin Peaks.

I met him when he co-wrote an episode of Welcome Back, Kotter, and I somehow managed to run into him often enough after that to develop a casual friendship.  One time, when I extended the Hollywood courtesy of asking what he'd been up to, he ticked off the names of three recently-filmed movies in which he'd had roles.

A few months later, I was walking down Cahuenga Boulevard when Royce, who was driving by, spotted me and pulled his car over to the curb.  "Remember those movies I said I'd been in?" he asked.  "Well, I got cut out of all three."  That was said without a trace of bitterness.  It genuinely amused him, and he wanted to share it with me.  (I think one of the movies was High Anxiety.  Mel Brooks later gave him another part and didn't cut him out of History of the World, Part One.)

I didn't know the man well, but I always liked spotting him on the screen.  I think the last time was in the TV-Movie version of Inherit the Wind — the one with Jack Lemmon and George C. Scott.  It was fun to think, "There's Royce again" and sad to see him this morning on the obit page.

• The Woman Who Wouldn't Talk by Gene Lyons, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
• Wise Counsel by William Saletan, Slate
• It's the Rules, Stupid by William F. Buckley, Jr., National Review
• Bushies Get Cold Feet by Timothy Noah, Slate
• Games Nations Play by Paul Krugman, New York Times
• Lugnuts in Power by Christopher Caldwell, New York Press

My friend animation/comic book writer Paul Dini has started a page on his Jingle Belle website where he posts thoughts and personal reflections. Here's a direct link to that page. While you're there, order some Jingle Belle books or the snazzy figurine or the lunch box or the Wacky Wobbler. I'm having dinner with Paul next week and it's his turn to pay.

Photo of the Beany and Cecil Rose Parade float at this site.  (Don't thank me.  Thank Gertler…)

Comedy Central has quietly snuck Beat the Geeks back onto its schedule.  (How quiet?  Is 5:30 AM PST quiet enough for you?)  Still, if you're any sort of geek, you know how to set your VCR or TiVo, which is what I've done.  I didn't care for this game show the first few times I saw it but last year, when we did a panel with some of its putative "geeks" at the San Diego Con, I started watching again so I could get up to speed…and I really enjoyed what I saw.  The show had a new host but, more important, its squadron of trivia experts had developed a certain sparkle.  I don't like the robes, I don't like the mocking attitude towards expertise in a subject, I don't even like the use of the word "geek" — but I like watching the three guys depicted above ("Movie Geek" Marc Edward Heuck, "Music Geek" Andy Zax, and "TV Geek" Paul Goebel) and certain "Guest Geeks."

This is not just because, having some capacity to retain similar data, I identify with these gents.  Lord, I could name dozens of fans who know as much about TV, comics, movies, whatever as any of us — but who you wouldn't watch for ten seconds.  The thing of it is, the "Geeks" really aren't geeks; not in the sense that a geek has no perspective on the info he amasses in lieu of having a life.  They're just smart, sharp guys and I think what drove me from the show in the first place was that it seemed to treat them not as geeks but as freaks.

There was also the matter of how limp the game itself seemed.  Win Ben Stein's Money worked…well, it worked mostly because of the banter between Jimmy Kimmel and Ben.  But to the extent it worked as a game, it worked because the contestants were very intelligent guys competing against another intelligent guy — a very basic, primal kind of competition.  Beat the Geeks is more a matter of, "Can a non-expert answer more non-expert questions than our experts can answer of expert questions?"  Not as basic, not as interesting.  Would you watch Jeopardy! if some contestants were handicapped with easier or more difficult questions than their competition?  Well, trivia questions are what Jeopardy! is all about.  They just cover a wider range of categories.

I suspect there's a wonderful show implied that no one is doing, which is to pit guys like Heuck, Zax and Goebel against folks who stand a chance of beating them at their own game.  But it would have to involve giving both sides their dignity — i.e., no robes left over from Trekkie masquerades, no trying to make a joke out of the very knowledge on which the show is based.  Someone's going to produce that show someday and if done right, it could be a monster hit.  In the meantime, given its time slot, one does assume that Beat the Geeks does not figure into Comedy Central's future, especially since they have to make room for more of those wonderful Chevy Chase Roasts.  So you might want to catch the current airings while you still can.

It's almost not enough to say, "Let's hope this year is better than the last one."  Let's hope this year isn't any worse.  None of the indicators that have to do with peace and prosperity are inspiring much optimism today, and the TV pundits seem to have their fingers crossed — maybe for luck, maybe because they think they're fibbing — when they say, "2003 will be a whole lot better."  I'll be delighted to have my cynicism prove unfounded.  It may be that if we can get through '03 without going to war, that will make the year look pretty good.

If you're up in time to catch the Rose Parade, watch for the float from the city of West Covina, California.  A fellow named Raul Rodriguez designed a display that will feature Bob Clampett's immortal cartoon show, Beany and Cecil.  The float will depict the sea-sick sea serpent swimming alongside Beany's ship.  If anyone spots any photos I can link to, please let me know.

If you've ever thought of purchasing any of the wonderful comic book fonts from Comicraft, today's the day.  For 24 hours, every font in the place is $20.03.  But hurry.  The clock is ticking.

Fred Hembeck's clever cartoons have been gracing fanzines and various comic-related magazines for years.  He has a sincere sense of humor and a distinctive art style that more than does it justice.  As of this new year, he is despoiling gracing the Internet with his personal brand of silliness.  You'll want to drop by his newly-erected site at www.hembeck.com now and also later as he gets more and more of his drawings up there.  I don't believe Fred and I have ever been in the same room together but we're interested in so many of the same things that I feel like an old friend.  Go visit my old friend's new website.

Two fine folks — Nat Gertler and Elayne Riggs — independently of one another — sent me this link to a page with photos of the building of the Beany and Cecil float.  We're still on the lookout for pics of the finished product.

Another fine folk — and a masterful voiceover talent — is Bob Bergen.  As a youth, Bob dreamed of growing up to be Porky Pig and, following the passing of the great Mel Blanc, achieved his dream.  He also does tons of other characters and jobs, and teaches one of the most-respected v.o. workshops in the business.  Why am I telling you this now?  Because he just launched his own website where you can read more about him and hear him in action.  It is, of course, www.bobbergen.com.  Start the year right with a visit.

Tonight's installment of Up Close (the Ted Koppel-hosted interview show that follows Nightline on ABC) features inventor Dean Kamen.  Perhaps some mention will be made of his father, Jack Kamen, one of the great EC comic book artists.  And perhaps not.

A reader of this site named Jamie writes to ask, "I noticed that Jay Leno did a live show last night with a remote from Times Square, whereas Letterman (who's in NEW YORK, for God's sake) had on a rerun.  Why is this?"  Answer: It's precisely because Dave is in New York, only blocks from Times Square.  He elects not to subject his staff, his audience, and himself to having to fight the crowd and drunken revelers that turn out there on the last night of the year.

In the past, they tried taping a show earlier in the day.  Then, they would insert live cut-ins to Times Square around the midnight hour.  One year, they had stage manager Biff Henderson atop one of the big buildings down there.  Another year, they just had cameras.  Either way, cutting between tape and live seemed awkward, and it meant that some of Dave's crew had to be in the midst of it all and work that late.  So they finally decided it wasn't worth it, and they were probably right.

This reminds me of a story I didn't tell relating to this article I posted here about a time when I was in Las Vegas for New Year's Eve, watching (among other marvels) the demolition of the Hacienda Hotel.  A few weeks later, back in Vegas, I was introduced to a gent who worked for some committee that had been involved with the event.  I asked him why, even though the sheer fact that it was New Year's Eve already packed the Strip to capacity, they had chosen that evening to stage a big, crowd-attracting spectacle.  He explained to me that it was part of a five-year-plan they'd formulated to do something spectacular each New Year's Eve — something TV cameras would want to capture live.

He went on: "People associate New Year's Eve with Times Square.  Times Square gets all that publicity and attention.  Well, when we're done, people will associate New Year's Eve with Las Vegas.  Everyone around the world will want to tune in and see how we're ringing in the new year here on the Strip.  We're going to take that away from New York."

Interesting, I thought.  But I had to ask: "How are you going to deal with the fact that the new year arrives three hours earlier on the East Coast?  By the time it's the new year here in Vegas, two-thirds of the country has already celebrated and gone to bed."

The man didn't answer me.  He just stood there, as if no one had raised that point before.  And I got the idea that he was thinking, "There has to be a way to get that changed…"

I'm taking a day or three off — from this, not from writing.  But if you really need something to peruse, here are some fun links.  And I'll see you next year…

• Shipping Out Name of NY by Jimmy Breslin, Newsday
• Bush's Bushwa by Daniel Gross, Slate
• A Spoon Full of Sugar by Joshua Micah Marshall, Tom Paine
• Happy New Year by William F. Buckley, Jr.