Rain or Shine

There are several ways to get weather forecasts on the Internet.  Some are those of the National Weather Service, though the best place I've found to access these is at www.wunderground.com. That site makes no bones about what they're issuing, whereas some sites dress up the NWS proclamations to look like their own, proprietary forecasts.

Other predictions come from private firms, like AccuWeather and Intellicast that supply info to TV and radio news broadcasts, newspaper and various industries that need more specific weather data than NWS provides.  The private firms are probably more useful to their clients but, on the 'net, the NWS has a big edge.  They update info more often and what you get from them is actually written by a human being, as opposed to being output from a computer reading.

Case in point: Right now, it's mostly clear in Los Angeles.  The rain stopped around 4:00 in the morning and the satellite pix have shown almost no moisture since then.  The National Weather Service forecast has been saying, since they updated it this morning at 10:55 AM…

Partly cloudy. A slight chance of showers through early afternoon. Highs in the mid 50s to lower 60s. Chance of rain 20 percent.

That's probably about as accurate as you could be.  The Intellicast forecast was last updated at 1:00 PM and as I write this, it still says…

A steady rain this morning. Showers continuing this afternoon. High 58F. Winds W at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of rain 70%. Rainfall near a half an inch.

I don't know when they first posted that but it's been up (and been unchanged through updates) for 11 hours since the last raindrop fell.  It's really a lovely afternoon out.  Meanwhile, over at AccuWeather, they say, "Clouds and sun; a few showers," while www.weather.com (which is The Weather Channel) says rain for today, mostly cloudy tonight.

This is pretty much the way it always is.  The National Weather Service is sometimes wrong because, well, weather forecasters are sometimes wrong.  But the other online sources are either wrong (because no one's paying much attention to them) or they give such ambiguous prognostications that they're not wrong…they just aren't very useful.  It amazes me the number of times it'll be pouring outside my window but one of these sites is still forecasting night and morning low clouds.

I think I once said here that if you want the best-possible weather forecast, you should go to all these sites and kind of mentally "average" what they say — like getting a second or third opinion from doctors.  Lately though, I'm inclined to just head over to www.underground.com for the NWS forecasts.  They're not always correct but at least they try.

Lion King

Disney's stage version of The Lion King opened in New York on November 13, 1997 and immediately became one of the biggest smash-hits the town had ever seen.  About a month later, I called in a favor (a very big favor, obviously) and obtained tickets to see it at the New Amsterdam Theater.  What follows is the review I wrote after that night…and what will follow this flashback is my review of the touring company performance which I caught last night in Los Angeles.  Here's what I wrote back in '97, and please note that the rumors about them adding a second company or doing more than eight performances a week never evolved into anything more than rumors…

Before I turn reviewer here, I should own up to a possible conflict of interest: I am a Disney stockholder.  I own one share.

This means I get all sorts of neat mailings and stockholders' reports.  For those of you who are into science-fiction, I recommend the latter, especially the parts about Michael Eisner's salary.

I also receive quarterly dividend checks, the most recent of which was for 13 cents.  They spent 32 cents in postage to send this to me, plus probably a buck or two in processing costs.  How this company can possibly stay in business, throwing around money like this, is beyond me.

Actually, one of the things the Disney organization does very well is to throw around money.  They tend not to throw much of it towards employees below the executive level, and it sure doesn't make it down to us stockholders.  But they do lob it around and usually to good effect.

Nowhere is this more in evidence than on 42nd Street where the New Amsterdam Theater, shabby and in disrepair for too long, has been reborn.  This is the work of checks, from both the city and the Disney folks, far larger than the ones the latter sends me.  The theater — the whole block, in fact — has received a stunning makeover and is now magnificent.  I dunno what scalpers are getting lately for seats to The Lion King, but it's probably worth it just to walk into the New Amsterdam and stare at the ceiling.

Large amounts of Disney Dollars have also been spent to put The Lion King on the boards, and it already looks like a brilliant investment.  They're hurriedly putting together new companies of the show to play other theaters.  Okay, that's how it usually works.  A show's a hit on Broadway and they assemble a road company to go play Toronto and Chicago and so on.  But what's staggering about the success of The Lion King is that they're reportedly discussing another company to play New York City.

That's right.  They're turning so many folks away down on 42nd Street that someone thinks it would be cost-efficient to procure another theater in or around Times Square and open a second production of The Lion King in town.  And if that cannot be arranged, word along the Great White Way is that they're dickering with the unions about adding some cast and staff, rotating them about and doing more than the customary eight performances a week.

This is almost unprecedented in theatrical history.  Apparently, there was a now-obscure show way back in 1917 that was then so non-obscure and in-demand that its producers opened a second, concurrent production at another theater.  That was the last time doubling-up was even a viable notion.

Disney, of course, has one big advantage if they decide to clone The Lion King: No one is coming to see the actors.  As must delight the corporate hierarchy, the sets and costumes and especially the staging are the stars, so duplicating the show is just a matter of writing checks — something, as noted, Disney does well.

And the sets, costumes are staging are wonderful.  Director Julie Taymor has placed a surreal, colorful impression of the jungle on the stage of the New Amsterdam.  Though not one real animal appears anywhere in the production, the theater is alive with antelope and giraffes and hyenas and birds and even an elephant, all limned in costuming and puppetry.  The impact is, with a few exceptions which I'll get to, artfully stunning and effective.

So I should be writing here that it was a wonderful evening and that it's one of the greatest shows I've ever seen.  The truth is — and I'm just as amazed at this as you may be, especially if you've read the reviews — I didn't like it very much.

I am, I must admit, darn near alone on this.  The audience this evening stood and cheered and generally left as happy as I've ever seen a crowd exit.  Despite the fact that the plotline precisely replicates the movie, which I liked a lot, I found the show uninvolving and even, particularly in the second act, occasionally boring.  My problem — and it may just be my problem — is that I think the staging is so wonderful, so much the show, that it smothers the story.

This was not the case with Beauty and the Beast.  For me, the Broadway incarnation expanded upon and enhanced the scenario, bringing it to life on a whole new level.  But then, that property enjoyed an advantage: It was the tale of a lord and his palace staff transformed into monstrosities, and of their struggle to regain human forms.  This was all done well in animation, but it simply meant more to see them, on stage, transformed back into actual human beings, as opposed to more realistically-drawn cartoon characters.

No such enhancement occurs with Simba and the tale of his ascendancy to the throne.  In the movie, there is a key plot moment: Simba is caught in a stampede and nearly trampled into a smear before he is rescued by his father.  It is a scary and memorable scene, and I don't see how the film could have done a better job of it.  The moment is re-created on stage for the musical and, again, they do a clever job, the ingenuity of which brings applause.

But it isn't scary.  Not in the least.

You're not watching a life-threatening stampede, you're watching a staging trick.  That's what the audience applauds: Look how resourcefully they're symbolizing a stampede on stage.

Well, that's not what you're supposed to be thinking; not if there's a genuine narrative in progress.  You're supposed to be thinking: Geez, Simba's in a lot of trouble.  Therein, to me, lies the problem.  I never stopped watching the staging and started watching the characters.

It's especially unsettling with regard to three animals from the movie — Timon, Pumbaa and Zazu.  (In the animated edition, Timon was the meerkat voiced by Nathan Lane, Pumbaa was the warthog voiced by Ernie Sabella, and Zazu was the uppity hornbill voiced by Rowan "Bean" Atkinson.)  It may have been due to someone's concern for the ongoing merchandising of those characters, or it was just felt that kids would notice their absence or remodelling.  The lion characters — Simba, Mufasa, Scar, etc. — are just played by folks wearing mane headdresses.  But Timon, Pumbaa and Zazu have been faithfully replicated as puppets and, while their handlers do skillful jobs of manipulating them and aping the film voices, the puppeteers are intentionally and jarringly visible.

We're supposed to just ignore them, and we try, but it's like trying to overlook one Siamese twin.  Zazu has a little clownlike man in a derby hat sticking out of him for the entire show and it's impossible to look at the puppet and not at the funny little man.  (By the way, they expanded Pumbaa's part by adding a seemingly-endless array of fart jokes and, yes, they even used that word.  Walt would have been so proud.)

So that all didn't work for this reviewer.  I also found the songs undistinguished, particularly the new ones but also those I'd liked in the movie.  (There are some splendid musical moments involving African dance, but they have little or nothing to do with Simba or his crown or any of this.)  For me, the whole evening was one of those Grinch-like experiences, where you're up on the hillside, looking down at Whoville, wondering why everyone but you is having such a wonderful time.

I didn't…and I am well aware that it won't make one bit of difference to the Walt Disney Company.  The Lion King is one of the biggest hits to ever roar on Broadway and it will probably be running there when the kid playing the Young Simba is old enough to play the Adult Simba.  Though I didn't like the show, there are two reasons I'm pleased for its success…

1. Broadway needs future playgoers.  Some years ago, someone — it may have been me — was suggesting that the theatrical community should subsidize a permanent and ongoing production of Peter Pan in some Times Square house.  No matter how much it lost, they should underwrite it and keep it going, so that youngsters can be taken to it, and introduced to the theater.

This may no longer be necessary, thanks to Disney.  Beauty and the Beast — which I think is a wonderful show — is still running, and The Lion King may at least work well on that level.  Disney plans other such productions and, in light of their success, others will doubtlessly follow.  So Broadway — which in many years past offered nothing to which you could take a 9-year-old — is becoming more the kid-friendly environment.  That's great.  And the other reason I'm delighted to see The Lion King succeed is —

2. Like I said, I own the one share of stock.  This show is making millions and — who knows? — maybe one of these days, my dividends will be half the cost of the stamps to send them to me.

Okay, that's what I wrote back then.  Lemme tell you about last night.  (By the way, my stock has since split and I now own two shares of Disney.  But in spite of this, I shall pull no punches…)

I enjoyed it more this time.  I still found the show quite non-involving, still found myself watching the staging more than the story.  But, perhaps because I went in expecting that, I found more to admire — mainly, the dancing and the art direction.  It may have helped that, this time, my seats were farther back, better situated to watch pageantry instead of people.

But I also found myself thinking about the show a slightly different way, which is to say not as a standalone from the movie.  Back when I was in elementary school, we were taken one year to see a production of The Magic Flute, and we did not attend it cold.  The group putting it on had issued a study guide and, in advance of our field trip, our teacher explained the plot to us, told us who Papageno and Tamino and Pamina were, and even played us some of the score and told us to watch for certain moments, and what they would symbolize.  We were not taking the field trip to see a story but, rather, to see an interesting interpretation of a story we sort-of already knew.  (In this particular case, we wouldn't have had a prayer of grasping one moment of what occurred on stage without all that briefing.  Even with it, we all were frequently lost.)

It dawned on me last evening that The Lion King, to some extent, works on that level as a theatrical production.  The staging tricks do not always serve the story but it's like, so what?  We already know the story.  We can fill in the blanks.  The movie was the study guide, and inherent in this presentation is a presumption that we already know and are familiar with the movie.  (The Broadway production of The Producers seems to make a similar assumption at times.)

Viewed on that basis, I liked the show more this time around, though I still liked Beauty and the Beast more, probably because it was less about the stage trickery.  I do think The Lion King is a worthy effort, if only for its sheer beauty, but I still don't get why Tony Award voters chose it over Ragtime.  Maybe I'm just bitter because, for all its unprecedented success, I still haven't seen that big jump in my Disney stock dividends.  And that means a lot now that my portfolio has doubled.

Three Unrelated Topics

Okay, how many of you had Friday Morning in the Trent Lott Pool?  And does anyone think we've heard the end of this?

I'm getting spoiled by my TiVo.  Watching TV in the hotel room in Vegas, I heard something, wasn't sure I heard what I heard, and grabbed up the remote to back the show up a few seconds so I could hear it again.  Duh.  You can't do that on a live TV broadcast with no TiVo involved, dum-dum.

The very clever Kevin Cunningham has been amusing the 'net for years with his Political Strikes! photo caption cartoons.  Today is his "inside joke day," and we get a mention.  So here's a reciprocal mention of Kevin and his wicked sense of humor.  Always worth checking out.

Ruth Kobart, R.I.P.

Robert Morse and Ruth Kobart in How to Succeed…

Ruth Kobart appeared in the original companies of two of the best (and longest-named) musical comedies that ever appeared on Broadway: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying.  She also enjoyed a long career in movies and TV shows, including a regular role on Bob Newhart's sitcom, Bob, which is where I got to meet her.  She was delightful and modest, and obviously very serious about the craft of acting.  When I asked her about those two Broadway hits (and she was in others), all she could talk about was the wonderfully-talented folks with whom she got to work.  A lot of us think Ms. Kobart — who passed away last Saturday at the age of 78 — was in that category, as well.  (Here's a link to a longer obit.)

Two Things To Mention…

If you're a fan of Alvin and the Chipmunks and David Seville, you will either love or hate this Flash animation parody of "The Chipmunk Song."  (Thanks to Marc Wielage for the referral.)

The January issue of MAD (now on sale) features a section of Christmas carol song parodies by Frank Jacobs.  Everyone knows how good Mort Drucker (who draws a spoof of Analyze That) and Sergio Whatzisname are, but the magazine's poet laureate, Frank, is still working at the top of his game.

Setting the Record Straight

When Paul Harris reported the Conan O'Brien story (mentioned in the previous item), he was on station DC-101 in Washington.

Taxi Driver

So I'm getting in the cab for the airport when the driver, handling my suitcase, jokes that I must want to go to one of the legal brothels outside of town.  I tell him no, I want to go to American Airlines, which offers many of the same services.  As he hops behind the wheel, he declares, "Yeah, I don't need those places, either," and he then proceeds to spend the entire ride describing to me the incredible sex life he and his "hot" girl friend enjoy — ten-hour marathons involving every conceivable position and orifice.  He meticulously details several and the more I try to change the subject, the more it refuses to change.  I realize that the brothel line is probably one he must use with every lone male passenger, so he can then segue to the topic he's determined to gab about.

He laments that he doesn't have his usual photos of his "volcanic chick" (that was the term) along to show me, but assures me she is a ringer for Sheena Easton.  "You seen her lately?" he asks.  I tell him no, which is a mistake, for he begins trying to catch up with other cabs that display advertising signs for Sheena Easton's show.  This is so I can see just how hot Sheena — and therefore, his girl friend — are.

At the end of the ride, as I'm paying the fare, he's upset that we never caught a glimpse of Ms. Easton.  "I wanted to show you what my lady looks like," he says.  I assure him that there'll be a Sheena Easton billboard somewhere in the airport and that I'll pause to study it so I can, indirectly, fathom how unbelievably hot the Volcanic Chick is.

Just then, a cab pulls up with a big picture of Sheryl Crow on it and — so help me — the cabbie says, "Well, my girl friend looks a lot like her, too."

Mark Stays in Vegas…

I caught one show there apart from Tony Orlando's. It's called "X" and its a revue filled with gorgeous women, loud rock music, minimal costuming and a pretty good stand-up comic named John Padon.  He has the unenviable task of following some steamy naked ladies, and jerking the crowd's attention towards comedy…but he pulls it off.  When he entered, three frat-type gents seated near me expressed audible ire that the parade of flesh was being preempted by a guy in a suit.  By the time Padon was finished, he'd won them over and I heard one ask, "Hey, that dude's coming back, isn't he?"  If you'd seen these fellows, you'd know what an achievement that was.

The show's at the new Aladdin, which may have set some industry record for rapid descent into Chapter 11, soon after opening.  There are probably many reasons but the most obvious to the consumer is how poorly-designed the place is; how impossible it is to navigate.  Hopelessly unable to locate the showroom, even following signs with arrows, I finally stopped a security guard to ask.  "Go that way," he said, pointing me in the exact opposite direction that a large, illuminated placard was indicating.  When I called his attention to the discrepancy, he said, "Oh well, if you're going to follow the signs, you'll never find it."  The showroom for "X" was designed with the same functionality, its seating configured to afford maximum view of the back of the head of the person in front of you, and not much else.  If the lady ahead of me hadn't had pierced ears, I wouldn't have been able to see a thing.  Anyway, it seems to be an entertaining show…what I could see of it.

From the Food Court

This is actually, no-lie, being written in the Las Vegas Airport as I wait for my flight home.  I just set the laptop up on a little table in the food court, where I have a lovely view of Burger King, Pizza Hut, TCBY Treats, and Cinnabon.  (Do they still say "TCBY" stands for "The Country's Best Yogurt?"  I've always assumed that when the company started out, those initials were short for, "This Can't Be Yogurt!"  If they'd had the other in mind, it would have been TWBY — "The World's Best Yogurt," right?  I'm guessing they switched — maybe for a legal reason, maybe for marketing concerns.  And while we're at it, how long before KFC officially stands for "Kentucky's Fine Chicken" or something of the sort, to completely expunge all reminders that it's fried?)

I think about such things, and it sometimes worries me that I do.

This was my first visit to Vegas for some time.  The biggest change, apart from the opening of The Palms, is that the slot machine areas are turning into Nick-at-Nite.  Every machine now seems to have as its theme an old TV show, a celebrity, or some brand-name.  I watched a lady playing a Beverly Hillbillies slot which, if it hits, pays you enough money to move in next to the Drysdales and build your own cee-ment pond.  Land-a-doggies.

Variation on the above joke: If you get a jackpot on the I Love Lucy slot, you get to be in the show that Ricky's doing at the Copa Club with Cesar Romero.  Babalu!

The Palms is nice, but I found myself wondering why I bothered to trek all the way over there to see another casino full of slot machines, blackjack dealers, roulette wheels, etc.  Nothing you can't see at two dozen other establishments.

I did have a nice time though, hanging out with Paul Harris and guesting on his radio program, which was being ISDNed back to St. Louis.  Paul and I have "known" each other for some fifteen years, having first connected in — I think — the Broadcast Professionals discussion group on CompuServe.  One day in that forum, I posted the up-'til-then-secret info that NBC had finally decided who would replace David Letterman as the host of Late Night — a complete unknown named Conan O'Brien.  Paul, canny broadcaster that he is, spotted a scoop and took to the air with it on the radio show he was then doing — in Boston, I believe.  This info had not appeared anywhere, NBC refused to confirm it, and a local critic denounced Paul for spreading a bogus news item.  But Mr. Harris had the final chuckle, and we became e-mail buddies.  Like some really demented introduction scene on The Bachelor, this was the first time we'd met in person.  I enjoyed talking with him and I enjoyed watching him do his talk show live from a lounge at the Orleans Hotel.  He really knows how to keep the proceedings moving at an entertaining clip.  If you're in St. Louis, catch him live every weekday on KTRS, the Big 550 on your dial.  If you're not in St. Louis, you'll have to be content with bits 'n' pieces over at www.HarrisOnline.com.  As I have to be.

I'll post more Vegas stuff later, including the tale of the cab driver who wouldn't stop talking about his sex life.

Where I Am

I'm in Las Vegas where I won $40 in a slot machine, spent a lovely evening chatting with Paul Harris, and got hugged a lot by Tony Orlando.

Paul Harris is, of course, the terrific talk radio host on KTRS, 550 on your dial in St. Louis.  He and fifty of his many listeners are here in Sin City and tomorrow morning (actually, this morning, since it's after midnight), I'll be among the guests on his show.  One of them may be Tony Orlando so I may get another hug.  You can find out all about Paul and his peachy program over at his website.

Gore Numbers

The Al Gore episode of Saturday Night Live got a 7.6 rating and a 17 share in the overnights — the show's highest numbers since last February when Britney Spears hosted.  Maybe Al's not going to run in 2004 because he wants to host that talk show Bill Clinton turned down.

Al Gore Does SNL

I didn't think much of Al Gore's appearance tonight on Saturday Night Live but I'll be surprised if it doesn't get monster numbers.  The show's been doing great (ratings-wise) even without the stunt of someone like Gore hosting.  Folks who like Gore probably tuned-in to support him.  Folks who don't like Gore probably tuned-in hoping he'd embarrass himself.  I think that covers everybody in the country.  Gore seemed more at ease than one might have expected.

Of course, he wants to run again someday.  They all want to run again, including the ones who lose with fewer votes than the other guy.  Right now though, he's got to do what the press repeatedly and probably unfairly accused him of doing throughout the last election: Reinvent himself.  So he's just doing whatever seems likely to shake up his image and cause anyone anywhere to say, "Hmm…maybe I was wrong about that guy."  My guess is it'll take a lot more than this, but maybe it's a start.

Anyway, I didn't much enjoy the show…but then, I didn't expect to.  The segment I liked least didn't involve Gore.  It was Robert Smigel's parody of A Charlie Brown Christmas, which I couldn't enjoy because I know how much it would have enraged Charles Schulz.  The piece I thought had the most unrealized potential was the Stuart Smalley interview of Al and Tipper, and I was surprised that Al Franken's character is still hanging in there.  Good for him…but isn't it about time to retire that Phil Hartman voiceover intro?

The Other Side of the Story

Pop culture gadabout Bill Sherman (that's the name of his fine weblog) calls my attention to the "other side" in the matter of The Youngbloods not appearing on Johnny Carson's show.  An article about the group can be found here and I'll quote the relevant line…

Although [group leader Jesse Colin] Young at times would get annoyed with record companies that did not promote his albums enough and although he walked out on the Tonight Show when Johnny Carson went back on a promise to let the Youngbloods perform two songs, the singer enjoyed a fairly idyllic life in West Marin.

It's always possible there was a misunderstanding but I find it hard to believe The Tonight Show promised two numbers to a musical act of such limited stardom.  With most performers, even one wasn't guaranteed if the show was running long.  At best, they'd tell an act to rehearse a second song just in case Johnny decided the first had left the audience eager for more.

Tonight Show Rockers

This story has gotten a small amount of attention in the press — and, come to think of it, that's about all it's worth…

The Australian grunge band The Vines was doing a sound check in advance of a scheduled appearance on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno shortly before the taping was to begin. When things did not go well, the band's lead singer, Craig Nicholls, apparently went crazy, knocking things over and wrecking equipment. When Leno heard, he cancelled their appearance on the show immediately, reports the New York Post, citing a report in the Los Angeles Times.  [link to full report]

What my Compulsion To Add Trivia To Everything can't resist noting is that a similar situation occurred around 1969, back when Johnny Carson was hosting The Tonight Show.  A rock group called The Youngbloods had been booked, almost as an experiment to see if acts of that sort could draw in younger viewers.  (One book on Carson ascribes this incident to The Young Rascals, which was a completely different group.  But the best sources say it was The Youngbloods.)

During sound check, the story goes, the performers became abusive towards Johnny's musical director and booth director.  Carson caught a little of the proceedings on the monitor in his office, marched down to the stage and told the group, "Wipe your noses and go home."  I'm not sure if the reference to their noses was because they were acting like babies or ingesting drugs.  Either way, that group never appeared and the industry buzz about the incident did much to make what probably would have been a brief career anyway even briefer.

It was a long time before another rock act graced Johnny's stage.  When one finally did, it was very well behaved.