We told you a few weeks ago about John Parkin, who is a professional John Cleese imitator.  This was mentioned because we thought it was amazing that there was actually a professional John Cleese imitator out there.  Well, it turns out there are two.  The first photo above is of the real Mr. Cleese, the second is of Mr. Parkin…and the photo at right is Ed Wells, who is also a professional John Cleese imitator.  (He even has a website.)  Personally, I think Mr. Wells looks more like Graham Chapman but what do I know?

I'll save you the trouble of watching all the various polls and fretting over what will happen November 5 in terms of the House and/or Senate swinging to one party or the other: It's too close to tell.  Too many races are too close for anyone to predict, with any validity, whether the Democrats will take back the House, lose the Senate, whatever.  It looks like a Democratic pick-up of a few governorships but, on a national basis, that's close to meaningless.

Still, as Jack Germond once said of his profession (reporting), "We aren't paid to say, 'I don't know,' even when we don't know."  So we're now getting a lot of stories that say the polls indicate a slight lead for this party or a hint of momentum for the other.  It's all just space-filler, often accomplished by ignoring the polls' margin of error or the fact that, in many races, various polls are yielding close but conflicting results.  In about 75% of the competitions, you can find a poll showing your guy leading by 3% with a margin of error of 3%.

One exception is the governor's race in California.  Latest polls show the slimy guy who mismanaged the energy crisis leading the inept, untrustworthy rich guy by 45% to 35%.  If "None of the Above" were on the ballot, we'd see a landslide.

Several of you simultaneously sent me a link to this Washington Post profile of Bob Newhart.  Good article, terrible photo.  I saw Mr. Newhart in a restaurant a few months ago and he looked a good 30 years younger than that picture.

Lou Scheimer was the mover-and-shaker behind Filmation Studios, producers of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, The Archies, He-Man and many other cartoon shows from the late sixties until 1989.  Memorabilia (mainly cels) from that industrious enterprise can be purchased over at this site, while Lou's new production company is located over at this site.  Either one will give you details on a big reunion party of former Filmation employees that's taking place November 2.  (I won't be there.  I only wrote one script for the studio.)

I haven't seen Auto-Focus, the new movie about the life and sleaze of Hogan's Heroes star, Bob Crane…and the more I hear of it, the less I want to catch it.  Earlier today, I saw its director, Paul Schrader, interviewed and he said (approximately), "This is the story of a man whose acting career was ruined by sexual addiction."  I don't know from sexual addiction; not sure what it is or whether Mr. Crane had it, whatever it is.  An actor I know who knew Crane well says that he wasn't sick.  He was just a very horny guy who had the good fortune to have women falling over him and the bad fortune to get murdered.

So I don't feel qualified to discuss sexual addiction but I can address the matter of his career, which didn't exactly end after Hogan's Heroes.  But it could easily have, for reasons other than the sex-related ones the film apparently postulates.  There were certainly a lot of folks who starred in sixties' TV shows — especially the broader, gimmicky ones — whose careers pretty much stopped when the series got cancelled.  What happened to Robert Vaughn after The Man From U.N.C.L.E.?  To Adam West after Batman?  What were the other acting jobs awaiting the cast of The Monkees?  Some stars go on to other shows and others, for arguable but non-sexual reasons, simply don't.  Given that a lot of people thought Hogan's Heroes was an embarrassment (I don't but many did), Crane's post-Hogan career of guest shots, movies and even another series doesn't strike me as inexplicably sparse.

My friend who knew him well says, "Bob thought he was going to be the new Jack Lemmon.  He didn't realize that, first of all, the old Jack Lemmon was still around to get all those parts.  He also didn't realize he wasn't as good as Jack Lemmon."  Both those points sound valid to me.  Perhaps Crane also alienated potential employers because of his sexual activities but let's not forget that men who cheat on their wives are hardly a rare breed in Hollywood.  They're almost as prevalent as actors who have a hit series and, once it goes off, can't move on to the kind of roles they want.  I suspect that Bob Crane could have ditched the 8mm cameras and taken a vow of celibacy…and today, we'd see him at those Hollywood Collectors' Shows, signing Hogan's Heroes photos and sitting next to the cast of Petticoat Junction.  He might be alive but he'd still be a trivia question.

Lynn Johnson's lovely newspaper strip, For Better or For Worse, gets curiously overlooked when folks rattle off lists of comics they admire.  It's one of the most popular, respected features being produced today but somehow, it slips minds.  Well, we'd better all learn to appreciate it because, according to this article, it's going to go away in the next five years.  (If you'd like to start appreciating it now, here's a link to Lynn's website.)

They're saying Walter Mondale will inherit Paul Wellstone's space on the ballot in Minnesota.  This is interesting to me because politics has gotten so nasty since Mondale's last "at bat" and he always struck me as a man who ran clean campaigns that were built on issues and free of mud…in other words, everything we say we want in politics but don't respect when we get it.  If you don't slam the other guy, you lose.  And when you lose in politics, you don't even get the reward of anyone saying, "Well, he ran an honest campaign."  More often, they call you an utter failure and accuse you of weakness.

In fact, it seemed to me that Mondale's defeat in '84 institutionalized the notion that you have to go after your opponent, or at least make him or her think you're ready to do so.  I seem to recall hearing some gent who managed political campaigns say once that, every time a candidate says, "I don't want to go negative.  I want to run a clean campaign," a handler has to say to him, "You want to wind up like Walter Mondale?"  I also recall some post-'84 interview in which Mondale said he probably wouldn't seek public office again because he didn't want to run the kind of campaign that it often takes to win.

I have no idea what kind of senator he'd be in this day and age.  But I like the idea of a man who ran a dignified campaign having the chance to bypass most of the pernicious, demeaning process of getting elected.  If anyone deserves that kind of short cut, it's Walter Mondale.

The folks at The Comics Journal have set up a clever and informative weblog, manned by Dirk Deppey and covering the world of comic books, comic strips, graphic novels and such.  You can visit ¡Journalista! (as they call it) by clicking here.

Back in 1973, PBS produced and aired a production of Bruce Jay Friedman's black comedy, Steambath.  The excellent cast included Bill Bixby, Valerie Perrine and Jose Perez, and the play reran many times on PBS, most often on Pledge Nights.  This was partly because it was so funny and partly because Ms. Perrine (and two gay guys) were briefly naked in it.  Nekkid people on TV are quite common now in the era of HBO and NYPD Blue but in '73, it was akin to the moon landing.

There were rumors that donations went through the ceiling whenever a PBS station aired Steambath and, based on my friends' reactions, I can believe it.  I knew guys who otherwise wouldn't have been caught dead watching a play or PBS, but watch they did.  During the commercials, when viewers were urged to support Public Television and encourage more programming like Masterpiece Theatre and Sesame Street," even some of my stingiest friends sent cash.  They wanted to encourage more shows with Valerie Perrine's rear end.

I recently watched the production again and, boy, it holds up…especially Bill Bixby's fine performance.  What a shame that man had to spend most of his career covering for his Uncle Martin, turning into the Hulk or pretending to be a detective-magician.  And why isn't anyone rerunning The Courtship of Eddie's Father, which I recall as being a touching, witty show?

You can watch Steambath again or for the first time.  It's been out on VHS for a while and is now available on DVD.  Click here to buy the tape from Amazon and here to buy the DVD from them.  Or click here to buy the tape from Movies Unlimited or here to buy the DVD from them.  As usual, this site gets a tiny cut.

Trivial aside: I wonder how many people know that Bruce Jay Friedman, in addition to creating many fine plays and screenplays, created a fine cartoonist.  One of today's best caricaturists — Drew Friedman, whose work appears regularly in Mad, Entertainment Weekly, The New York Observer and everywhere else — is the son of Bruce Jay.  To learn more about Drew and what Drew draws, order a copy of Mad Art, a forthcoming book by that noted Mad Magazine authority, me.

And a lot of the obits for Richard Harris are also parsing words in odd ways.  I get the idea that if their writers were allowed to throw tact to the wind, they'd all begin like this…

Richard Harris, an Irish-born actor who was best known for heavy drinking, has amazed everyone who knew him by living to the age of 72…

I saw Harris in the early-80's revival of Camelot in which he replaced an ailing Richard Burton.  A night or two before, he had been on with Mr. Carson, regaling America with some tale of him and Peter O'Toole quaffing gallons of spirits one night and waking up in the damnedest place.  Johnny mentioned that O'Toole was booked for the show the following week and Harris said, "Well, ask him if he remembers that night and if he says he does, he's a damned liar."  Odd how I recall that and not one thing about his performance as King Arthur.

The obits and co-workers are all saluting Senator Paul Wellstone as a man who voted his conscience and only wanted what was best for the people.  The mourners, including other members of the Senate, are all making it sound like that's a unique, astounding trait in a U.S. Senator…

I have a mess of great photos sitting in a directory on my "C" drive, waiting for some excuse to slap them up here.  Deciding I don't need an event to justify this, I decided to just put up this one of Soupy Sales teaching "The Mouse" to Ed Sullivan.  "The Mouse" was a dance craze that Mr. Sales popularized though, as I once heard someone say of another dance craze, "No one ever did it for more than twenty seconds unless they were being paid to do so."  In the photo, Ed sure looks like he's eager to take the wife out for a night on the town, doing "The Mouse."

Two things bother me about the news coverage I'm watching about the arrest of two men in the sniper investigation.  I just heard Robert Novak on CNN ask the questions, "Can these men get a fair trial?  Who cares?"  I always thought the concept of a "fair trial" was as much for society's benefit as that of the accused.  I mean, isn't it in our interest to make sure the folks who are convicted are actually guilty?  Sometimes, I think people get so eager to see crimes punished that they feel arresting the wrong person is almost as good as arresting the right one.

Secondly: Newspeople are telling us that John Allen Muhammad is probably the sniper who murdered ten innocent people and that he was so crazed at one point that his wife had to get a permanent restraining order to keep him away from her.  They're also telling us that the other suspect, John Lee Malvo, was linked by fingerprints to a murder and robbery at a liquor store.  Okay…but the news people also keep referring to them as "these gentlemen," as in, "authorities believe they have a strong case against these gentlemen."

I don't know for sure that the two suspects in custody committed the murders.  But I'm pretty sure they aren't "gentlemen."

Believe it or do not, I'm actually getting e-mails from folks asking what a "pantomime goose" is. In British parlance, the word "pantomime" sometimes denotes a theatrical impersonation. In other words, when I dress up in my antelope suit, I am a "pantomime antelope." The Python boys had some running gags on their program involving a "pantomime horse" and a "pantomime Princess Margaret," and our friend Kim "Howard" Johnson has played a "pantomime goose" in some of their stage presentations.

Which is as good a time as any to mention that Kim/Howard has a website full of Python facts and features. Here's the link to (what else?) The Pantomime Goose.

• What Bush Isn't Saying About Iraq by Michael Kinsley, Slate
• Bush Enlists Government Aid in GOP Campaign by Mike Allen, Washington Post
• How Will We Stop the Killings? by William F. Buckley, National Review
• Dead Parrot Society by Paul Krugman, New York Times
• Coloring the Sniper News by Michelle Malkin, Jewish World Review
• Oh, No! Geraldo Has Arrived! by Roger L. Simon, Jewish World Review