Several outraged delicatessen-goers in Los Angeles wrote in to protest my omission of Nate 'n Al's in Beverly Hills from the list of the best delis on our turf.  Actually, it was the L.A. Weekly's pick of the four best but it concurs with mine, and I'd probably put Nate 'n Al's in the same class.  I used to enjoy it as much for the clientele (Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Doris Day, etc.) as the food, but the food has always been good.  I'm just not a fan of the parking, the hours of operation, or those cramped booths.

A site called www.reelradio.com archives "air checks" (i.e., recordings) of disc jockeys, past and present, around the U.S.  They're currently spotlighting some samples of the late Al Lohman and Roger Barkley.  You can hear them if you go there and if you have RealAudio installed on your computer.

We recommend this article by Paul Krugman in today's New York Times magazine.  We don't necessarily agree with it but we think it's worth a look.

Here, we see Bob Crane reading the Hogan's Heroes comic book (drawn, as I recall, by Sal Trapani and an array of ghost-pencilers, including Steve Ditko) and eating lunch from his Hogan's Heroes lunchbox.  What kind of man was Bob Crane when he wasn't playing Colonel Robert Hogan?  I don't know…and I find it hard to believe that the makers of a new movie about his life have any more idea than I do.  Certainly, the folks who worked closely with the man thought he was a heckuva nice guy and a good actor, and they weren't at all sure about his "other" life.  I guess that's what bugs me a bit about the film, Auto-Focus, and why I probably won't see it until it hits cable, if then.

I never knew Crane but I've known a lot of people who did…who spent 12-hour shooting days with him for years.  And not a one of them professes to the kind of insight claimed by the makers of the movie, most of whom never inhabited the same zip code as Robert "Bob" Crane.  I see Greg Kinnear (who plays Crane) and director Paul Schrader all over the media dissecting the man's character and discussing the childhood events that obviously motivated him to spend so much of his adult life making dirty movies with waitresses from Barney's Beanery.  The cause-and-effect connections involved in such simplified psychology always seem tenuous to me at best…but even if I buy them, I have to wonder how a bunch of total strangers could know "the real Bob Crane" when those who knew the real Bob Crane didn't know "the real Bob Crane."

Is it possible that a certain sham is being perpetrated here?  That the filmmakers have taken the broad strokes of the man's life and used them to construct a largely-fictional character whom they have named Bob Crane?  That it would have been more honest but less commercial to fictionalize further and not pass this off as the true story of Bob Crane, star of the beloved situation comedy, Hogan's Heroes?  Or have they really, from afar, homed in on the essence of a man who was an enigma to those who actually spent much of their lives with him?

I dunno.  22 years after you die, do you think people you never knew could make a film of your life and know all the things about you that your friends and family don't?

Here's a little pet peeve of mine…one that's true of many hotels these days but I'll bitch about the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas for doing it.  If you go to their website and look up the description of their cheapest rooms — which for some reason, they call "Deluxe Rooms" — here's what it says you get…

• Your option of a King or 2 Queen Beds
• Iron/Ironing Board
• Blow Dryer
• Armoire
• Computer with Internet Access Standard Features
• All guests receive complimentary Valet Parking or Self Parking

Okay, based on the above, is there an additional charge for that Computer with Internet Access?  The answer is that there is — it's $9.95 per 24 hours of access — even though the service is listed among features for which they don't charge extra.  The price of the room includes the bed(s), the iron, the ironing board, the blow dryer and that doubtlessly-wonderful armoire.  I'll bet the room also has an alarm clock, a TV, a Gideon Bible, a toilet, a sink, a bathtub and other luxuries, all covered by the rate you'll be quoted over the phone or on their website…and don't forget about that free parking.  (They make it sound like a perk of staying at the Aladdin.  Actually, no hotel in Vegas charges anyone for Self Parking and most don't for Valet, apart from the expected tip.)

The only thing on that list that costs extra is the Computer with Internet Access.  I'm guessing there are other features that cost…pay-per-view movies, laundry service, maybe a coffee maker or mini-bar…but they don't advertise them as features of the room.  Nor do they tell you the rate for this Internet Access unless you specifically ask.

Okay, it's a little point, and a lot of hotels do it.  But it still seems misleading to me.

• An Ugly Tale of Corporate Greed by The Editors, Washington Times
• Nobel Winners and Losers by Richard Cohen, Washington Post
• Springtime for Hitler by Paul Krugman, New York Times

Here in this picture, famed comedian and money-raiser Jerry Lewis learns a vital lesson.  It's that it's not humanly possible to outmug Harpo Marx.  Can't be done, don't even try.  One wonders what these guys were saying to each other…discussing the accounting procedures at Paramount?  Comparing notes about working with Frank Tashlin?  Debating whether Dino was more Italian than Chico?  Whatever.  Thanks to Earl Kress, who forwarded this photo to me after receiving it from a friend.  Just to reward Earl, I'm going to let him eat lunch with me today.  I may even use the utensils.

Speaking of photos of silly-looking people: Some time ago, I posted this rare photo of Moe, Curly and Shemp, three brothers who were members of The Three Stooges, though not all at the same time.  Today, I received this info on the pic from Stooge expert Brent Seguine…

It was taken during production of Hoi Polloi (1935). Although Shemp was still based on the east coast, doing Vitaphone comedies for Warner Bros. ('33-'37), this was during one of his west coast visits, presumably to visit his brothers and Larry.  Specifically, it was taken on Larchmont Ave., where Hoi Polloi did a location shoot in front of the Larchmont Bijou, now the site of Blockbuster Video.

Larchmont Avenue (about two miles east of where I live) has been used in a staggering number of movies and TV shows over the years.  It's wide, rarely busy, and close to both Paramount Studios and the old Columbia lot, which is now Sunset-Gower Studios.  I wonder if it doesn't hold the record for the most location shoots of any non-landmark part of Los Angeles.

The four best delicatessens in Los Angeles are, in no particular order, Canter's, Langer's, Art's and Junior's.  Recently, their proprietors were gathered together to discuss the deli trade.  Here's a bit of that discussion.

For some reason, I had the TV news channels on today, which meant that I heard a lot about the Washington Sniper.  As with the recent coverage of the Chandra Levy murder, it struck me that everything that was really known with any certainty could be summarized in around five minutes, but that TV time had to be filled…

…so filled it has been with rumors, highly-peripheral testimony (CNN had on a guy who talked about being stuck in traffic a few blocks from the latest shooting) and my favorite — speculation on the identity and motives of this guy that no one knows anything about.  We don't know who's doing it, or even if it's only one person, and we don't know why.  The police don't even have enough input from the few witnesses to assemble a composite sketch.  But experts sure have a lot of theories on what might be on his mind, what kind of training he might have had, what he perhaps had for breakfast this morning, etc.  I so long to hear one of these talking heads say, "Okay, here's all we know and there's no point in speculating further, so let's talk about a topic we know something about."

On the other hand, I am watching.  And maybe that's all that matters.

Plug time!  A day or three ago, I recommended TV Party the Website.  Today, I received and am recommending, TV Party, the Book!  Webmaster and author Billy Ingram has put together a nifty compendium of what some might call "TV trivia," though it's essential, must-have info for anyone who's hip enough to visit his website…or mine, for that matter.  It comes with a DVD of old clips which I haven't gotten around to watching but the book is worth the price with it.  If you like obscure, behind-the-scenes info about old TV shows (including some of the obscurer ones), you'll want to tune in on this puppy.  To order a copy of said puppy from Amazon-dot-com (and also give this website a measly commission), click here.

We don't make much off these referral fees but you can take comfort in the knowledge that the money we get always goes to buy something really, really stupid off eBay.  Any time you want to order something from Amazon, click on one of our boxes to get there.  Your price remains the same.

In the meantime, Warner Home Video is releasing a fine documentary on the life and work of the late, great Chuck Jones.  It contains interviews with him and many prominent filmmakers and celebs.  It also contains clips from cartoons, pencil tests, leftover footage and a couple of complete WB shorts, including Feed the Kitty.  (That's the one where the bulldog adopts the kitten and then wrongly thinks it has been baked into cookies.  No better example exists to show what full, expressive animation can do that limited, TV-style animation cannot.)  And of course, any insight into Jones's work is well worth seeking out.  You can also order your copy of this from Amazon.Com and give us a cut by clicking here.

However, my gosh-darned honesty compels me to tell you that they'll charge you $11.24 for the DVD — plus postage, unless your order is over $25.  You can probably do better (even though we don't get a cut) by ordering it here, direct from Warner Home Video.  You can also see a little online preview.

Pat Buchanan, who has turned losing the presidency into a highly profitable industry, has a column out in which he challenges those who refer to Saddam Hussein as "the new Hitler."  Here's an excerpt…

Well, let's see.  Hitler conquered all of Europe from the Arctic to the Aegean and from the Atlantic to Stalingrad.  And Saddam?  He invaded Kuwait, a sandbox half the size of Denmark, and got tossed out after a 100-hour ground war.  His country has been overflown 40,000 times by U.S. and British planes and he has not been able to shoot a single plane down.  He has no navy, a fourth-rate air force, a shrunken, demoralized army.  His economy is not 1 percent of ours.

Actually, the column (which you can read here) reads a lot like, "I served with Adolf Hitler.  I knew Adolf Hitler.  Adolf Hitler was a friend of mine.  Saddam, you're no Adolf Hitler."  But that joke aside, Buchanan may have a very good point.

The polls on the upcoming election seem to suggest a very close contest between Democrats and Republicans for control of our nation.  That is, if you go to any of the middle-of-the-road websites.  The Conservative sites are spinning the polls to show that Republicans are certain to win big, whereas the Liberal sites have it surely going the other way.  At times, reading these sites, I get the feeling that the folks doing the posting are just penning the fantasies that make them feel good, reality be damned.

The polls being quoted are usually John Zogby's polls.  Perhaps because Mr. Zogby does not remain faceless and occasionally adds little nuggets of analysis, he tends to polarize more than most pollsters.  On the partisan websites, the Zogby polls that show their guy with a big lead are unquestionably accurate, whereas the Zogby polls that show the other side's guy in the lead are flawed and perhaps deliberate, premeditated lies.

To cut through it all, it may be helpful to remember Zogby's predictions about the New York Senate race in the last election.  The Sunday before voting day, one article said…

The Colgate/Zogby International Poll also paid carefully attention to the equally close senatorial race between Lazio and Clinton.  "I think we're looking at a one point race," Zogby said. "I have no idea what's going to happen on Tuesday."  Zogby observed that even although Lazio leads in the polls, it is not the lead that he would like to have over Clinton.

Two days later, Ms. Clinton defeated Mr. Lazio 56%-44%…hardly a "one point race."

I have, as always, a theory.  I think you could go through the list of all the current elections and pick a winner in each race with no polling data whatsoever.  In races where there's an incumbent, you write that he or she is ahead of his or her opponent, 47% to 41%.  In races where there's no incumbent, you flip a coin between the Democrat and the Republican and put the winner of that coin-flip as ahead, 45% to 42%.  If someone has a real big scandal getting attention, subtract four points.  Then you say your poll has a margin of error of plus-or-minus three points…

…and, come Election Day, you'd be as accurate as any poll that actually goes out and talks to likely voters.

Here's a link to the Los Angeles Times obit for Al Lohman.  It gives the year of his teaming with Barkley as 1963, which is arguable.  Barkley's autobiography has it as 1962 and every other published source says '61.  This may be a matter of definitions.  Initially, Barkley was an exec (and occasional newsman) at radio station KLAC who hired Lohman, began joking around with him on the air, and then left the office job to be his partner.  The discrepancy over their start date may stem from one person counting from when they started working together and another noting when they first billed as a team.  Or something like that.  (Also, here's a link to a short obit from Associated Press.  It says they were a team from 1961 to 1985.)

The Times obit also gives the years of their KNBC show as 1967-1970, which I'm sure is way too long.  I believe it was two 13-week cycles.  And boy, was it a funny show.  I don't suppose anyone reading this has any tapes…

For decades, every city in the U.S. had at least one team of radio personalities who were basically doing Bob and Ray, often using those gents' material, sans permission.  In Los Angeles from around 1961 to 1986, it was the duo of Al Lohman and Roger Barkley, traipsing from KLAC to KFWB, then to KFI, etc., dispensing their manic brand of broadcast comedy.  Unlike others, they didn't rip off Bob and Ray except in form, doing silly interviews and presenting a band of recurring characters, most of whom (like famed chef Leonard Leonard) were Lohman, sounding almost exactly like Al Lohman.  No matter.  They were funny and silly and always worth a listen.  In the photo above, Al's on the right and Roger is on the leftt.

What they weren't able to do, much to their mutual frustration, was to parlay it into anything else.  They tried a few TV programs — game shows, mostly — but to no success.  Briefly in the seventies, they did a talk show for the KNBC in L.A. that was one of the funniest, cleverest things I've ever seen on television.  It won acclaim and awards and a fast, loyal following but when a syndication deal fell through, the show went away, and Lohman and Barkley shuffled back to drive time radio.

In 1985 or '86, they had a bitter break-up that actually occurred during a broadcast.  They went to commercial, Barkley told his longtime partner it was over and walked out.  When the commercial ended, Al Lohman was doing a single, and he and Barkley reportedly never spoke again.  Both tried it with other partners (Lohman with Bob Hudson, then Gary Owens; Barkley with Ken Minyard) but nothing clicked and both Al and Roger floated separately into smaller, outlying markets.  Barkley passed away in 1997 and Lohman died last Sunday evening after a bout with stomach cancer.  A lot of Angelenos who owned radios during the sixties and seventies will be very unhappy to hear this.  I know I am.

There's a reason Red Buttons has been around so long: The guy is funny.  Really, fall-down funny.  This is not the case with a number of comedians who've been performing for several decades.  And worse, a lot of them don't know when to stop.  A few months ago, I was at a party and Red got up to say "a few words."  The words got an awful lot of laughs and, with the unerring (but rare) skills of someone who knows when to stop, he closed out his speech at just the right moment and sat down to thunderous applause.  In admiration, I hereby plug his new website at www.redbuttons.net, where strange things are happening…

Mr. Buttons is especially well-known for his performance in the curious, almost-extinct show business ritual known as the "roast."  Proof that roasts are a dying art can be found by watching any of the Friars Roasts televised the last few years by Comedy Central.  According to this article, the recent one for Chevy Chase (which airs 12/1) pretty much drives the last nail into ye olde coffin.  Why am I not surprised?

TV Party calls POVonline "the best pop culture website on the planet!"  Funny…I was just about to say the same thing about TV Party!  I don't know the guy who runs it but he's certainly amassed a wonderful mess of great TV info, including some treasures about kids show hosts and Saturday morn.  Click on the link and go see for yourself!  You'll waste a lot of time there, just like you do watching TV!

Watching Brad Garrett playing Jackie Gleason in last night's TV-movie, I was struck by a rather basic thought: These things never work for me.  When someone famous is being portrayed — someone whose real face and voice are embedded in my mind — I can never shake the sense that I'm watching an imitation.  Moreover, it's always an imitation that's gone on way too long.  Most impressionists learn never not to do that because, invariably, they reach the stage where they really don't look or sound like the target.  An entire movie is always too long.

I remember that film where Rod Steiger played W.C. Fields.  Visually, he was like one of those flicker-rings that shows you a different image when you move it slightly.  Steiger would look like Fields, then he'd turn a bit and look like Rod Steiger, then he'd turn a little more and look like Fields again…and of course, throughout, he managed to sound like Rod Steiger doing a bad W.C. Fields impression.  It was a stunt, not a performance, and you watched it instead of the picture.  It was like watching a marionette show where the strings are just too blatant to allow you to pretend the puppets are alive.

Brad Garrett probably played Gleason about as well as anyone could, this side of Nathan Lane…but not for one moment did he stop being Brad Garrett for me.  (Actually, I take that back: In the scenes where they slapped appliances on his face to add weight, he stopped being Brad Garrett and started being Mr. Creosote from the Monty Python film.)  Mostly though, I'm sitting there thinking, "Hey, from this angle, Brad Garrett looks a little like Gleason…oh, Brad Garrett didn't deliver that line the way Gleason would have…hmm, Brad Garrett almost caught Gleason's body language there…"  Overall, he didn't convince me he was Gleason, nor did he convince me the guy he was playing was a performer talented enough to be called "The Great One."  I don't think he even convinced me he wasn't 6'8" tall.

But I'm not sure any of that was Garrett's fault.  Like I said, these things never work for me.  I wonder if they work for anyone.

Yep, you're looking at a picture of a new Blues Brothers slot machine currently being unveiled in Las Vegas.  It's one of several themed around Saturday Night Live and they feature, according to the press release, images of John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Adam Sandler, Gilda Radner, Chris Farley, Jane Curtin, Phil Hartman, Norm McDonald, Jon Lovitz, David Spade, Kevin Nealon, Joe Piscopo and others.  I especially like the Belushi and Farley machines.  When I'm gambling, I always like to think about guys who died of drug overdoses and doing other self-destructive things to excess.  Also, the Joe Piscopo machine is fun because, if you need change, Joe Piscopo himself brings it to you.  And there's even a Church Lady slot where you can lose your money while being scolded about the evils of gambling.

For a few years now, Frank Ferrante has been touring in two different shows in which he plays Groucho Marx.  Groucho: A Life in Revue is more of a play, involving a cast of four.  An Evening With Groucho is a one-man performance (actually, one man plus a pianist) of Marxist songs and anecdotes.  Those of you in Southern California can catch the latter for two weeks at the Hermosa Beach Playhouse, beginning October 29.  Click here for more info.  Mr. Ferrante also has a one-man show wherein he plays George S. Kaufman and I'd love to see it, but it doesn't seem to be scheduled at the moment.